Parents

I managed to destroy my family's joy by failing in school again. I won't go into details, but I did my best but things just went fucked up and I'm on final probation meaning i'm just one failed subject away from expulsion (yay...)

Back to my family, my dad now thinks I'm a failure who'll end up as a driver or something (coz the only achievement I had that retained in his memory was getting a driver's license) and my mom thinks I have a drinking problem just because she found a bottle of brandy in my room (yet I had only been drunk once in my life and I always drink in moderation). Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, but I think they should learn to trust me a bit when I say I can do better.

How about you, fellow Fakkers? Any parental issues or am I the only one fucked up here? Inb4 "underage guy at fakku".

I had a great deal of issues before my parents got a divorce several years back. My relationship with my mother has always been "rocky" at best and simple hatred at worst. My mother and I simply don't get along. We couldn't be more different. She's very old-fashioned in a conservative since and very religious, while I'm very liberally minded and an Atheist who doesn't like it when religion runs the lives of people. We always managed to fight, and even though she would never admit it I was as big a reason for their divorce as my father.

Speaking of which, I get along well with my father almost all the time. He and I are very similar and have similar tastes when it comes to our love of technology and even some similar musical tastes here-and-there.

There was always an air of tension throughout the house when my parents were together. Horrible as it might sound, things have only been so much better since my parents divorced and I have little-to-no contact with my mother.

Oh let's see...
My dad fucked my 13 year old mom when he was 18.
Dad was a abusive asshole.
I never see him unless he wanta.
Mom is a crazy bitch.
They both don't like my wife.
I was in a freaking coma for two weeks and they came to see me twice, shit my 5 yr old brother and my friend(who became my wife) came every fucking day.
They never bought me a puppy.
I WIN
I have more but meh i don't care anymore.

Dude. You just described my life too.

Only differences? I already got expelled, failed too many times and attendance was crap. But they don't think I'm an alcoholic.

Parents are only human, too; a lot of them are actually immature, and should not have had kids until they've grown up, themselves. This pisses me off to no end.

Sounds like your parents suffer from this spiritual, mental and emotional myopia.

I consider myself lucky, b/c I have probably one of the best mothers in the world.

In your situation, I would try to find someone who believes in you, your inner worth and goodness, and will vouch for you - maybe you have a teacher like that?

I can honestly say that I have no problems with my parents except those I have caused. Both are very mature and caring individuals. They expect a lot out of me and honestly I push myself more because they do expect a lot out of me. I am pretty sure I would have given up on getting my Engineering Degree if it were not for my father.

Here too. It's a question of maturity. If you still live at home, it's harder to break out of taking them for granted.

I love both my parents, but I respect my dad a little bit more than my mom since he has a job and doesn't hit me up for money every month. I hope I graduate from college soon so I can make them proud.

My mom is a religious loner who prefers to talk on the phone than talk in person. My dad is an agnostic intellectual who enjoys people's company. When it comes down to it, I behave a little like my mom, but I think a little like my dad. Due to my inverted personality I haven't had a meaningful conversation with either of my parents. However I have had plenty of instances where my dad would sit and talk about his experiences in life. I really value those moments and try to apply whatever moral lesson there is to my own life. They both did their best to raise me and I appreciate their efforts.

I have to point out that it's really hard to trust in someone who says he/she is going to do something and ends up not multiple times. Not attacking you, but just wanted to say this since it seems like this isn't the first time this kind of thing happened, so your parents' reactions aren't anything out of the ordinary.
Hope things get better! Keep at it.
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In High School I didn't really understand the concept of college. I always thought it was just like the transition from elementary to middle and middle to high school. I can't say I F'ed up big time because well...getting decent grades was something I never had trouble with. However, I never understood the importance of good grades. As a result, I didn't really push myself to be the best I could be. It really started to dawn on me when my peers were accepted to schools like Stanford, UC Berkeley, MIT...etc etc. that I wasted 4 years and was heading to a lower tier college. (Don't get me wrong I don't hate on lower tier colleges, I just thought I really could've done a lot better if I actually put in the effort.)

I realized I could in a way get a second chance by going to a community college first and then transfer. Parents really did not like this idea. What I really love about my parents is that they don't seem like the typical Asian parents that push their kids to and sometimes over the limit. As long as I got into a decent college, they were happy. As you can probably figure out, my decision to go to community college wasn't a good one in their minds. Mom broke down crying, which surprised me because it was the third time ever I've seen her cry. Dad just kind of had that disappointed look in his eyes for 2 months. I could tell I really hurt them at that moment.

However, things are great right now. I've been at community college for about a year now. Studying and doing HW with every ounce of effort I have. Parents seem satisfied and more secure now that its almost time to transfer and my GPA is pretty darn good. When I made that decision back then, I definitely had mixed feelings. On one hand, I must have been seen as a failure to anyone who didn't know my situation and thought my only choice was community college, and my parents had to bear the burden. (You know that annoying look that people give when they ask you where does your child go to college, you tell them a community college, and they go "Ohhh..." and awkwardness ensues.) I feel bad about that. Even though my parents are pretty much back to their normal selves, I really want to make them proud by transferring to UC Berkeley. Show them that I really had a goal in mind, but didn't mean to hurt them before.

Have you ever stopped to think about them and what they think of this situation?
Have you had a serious discussion with them about their expectations of you or why they have these "trust" issues?


I think to some degree everyone who has parents is gonna stumble on some problems, but what truly matters is how we deal with them.

Never met my father.
State took me away from my mom because she was a druggie.
Foster dad was an abusive shit. (Died).
Foster mom is great, I love her.

About the whole grades thing, in school I always thought it was bullshit the way it seemed our lives were defined by a few letters on a piece of paper.

Edit:
I mean, I remember my friend CRYING because she didn't pass one class.
I forgot which one though. I just remember that she didn't wanna go home.
I checked into it, her parents weren't abusive or anything, she just knew they would be disappointed in her.

I don't say it to their faces but I do admit that my parents are great. Not to brag but I have a loving mother and a great cook plus my dad doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs plus him having a stable income. They're very understanding to let me choose what I want to be and they don't pressure me to excel at something; all they want from me is to be able to have a good future, a stable job at most.

I'm very thankful for having my parents but I still don't do my best for them. The cause for that is me still not knowing what I want to do but I'm already studying in college but my grades are mediocre at best,.

[font=Arial Black][color=blue]Mod Note:[/color][/font] Moved to the Love, Romance and Relationship section.

There are many kinds of love and parental love is definitely a subset. In addition, I also believe that our ties with our parents can be considered a form of relationship.

Sorry for the inconvenience caused.

my parents think i'm a failure too, even though i didn't used to be

they're not doing the "you'll hate us now and thank us later" part, they're just doing "you'll hate us now"
they aren't giving me adivce or any help. In fact, they're making me seem worse than i should be. i want to throw hammers at them

I've had my parents say they were disappointed in me in ways that could of been less mean. But you know what? I'd be even more hurt if my parents didn't care enough to get mad whenever I screwed up in life or to let me know I'm doing stupid things.

My parents are idiots. I'm disappointed in them not the other way around. Seriously. I wonder how many people have my case?

<---
(Birth mom, not foster mom. lol)

I accept your challenge, sir.

Never knew my dad.
Wish I did, because my mother was a crazy bitch.
She had me locked away in a mental ward because I wouldn't put up with her shit. They only released me when they realized she was fucked in the head.
I was homeless for half a year in the desert of Las Vegas. Also due to my mother.
I had two dogs cruelly torn away from me.
I remain alone and existentially bankrupt.

Your move.

Your life is as close as mine I dropped out and stopped going to school for a year I am the second of three siblings my older brother is GONNA be a laywer soon and my little brother wants to be a surgeon (my little brother is really intellegent but offen goofs off) and me being the black sheep I'm not giving up I'm going to school again and won't fuck-up this time, but with all the screw ups I've made my mom still supports and understands me...