Question about flirting...

I'm a girl that has never really actively looked for guys, I've pretty much been "one of the guys" so I don't really know how to do anything but joke and pal around. Now that I am thinking of putting myself out there I have no idea how to meet people and NO idea how to flirt. I don't even know where to go! I'm nervous about going to a bar alone (my friends aren't quite 21 yet). I'm not super cute or sexy-- I'm average, I look way younger than I am and I'm a tad heavier than I'd like to be; I don't exactly have guys lining up around the corner or anything so I have to be proactive.

So the question is; Guys what does a girl do to catch your eye or Girls how do you let a guy know you are interested?

1) Have confidence in yourself. Just like a lack of confidence can be a turn off for you women, a great majority of men will find it a major turn off as well (even if more often then not, they probably wouldn't admit that).

2) Don't try going to bars or pubs to find a potential. The only reason you'd go there to pick up someone is if you're planning to have a one night stand. Yeah, sure, you could find someone nice there, but for the most part, people go there to drink, and have a good time. Not to find a long term partner. Instead, try places or areas you know or are comfortable with. For example, maybe a [anime] club, or a con (presuming, since you go to this very site, you do those kinda things).

3) If you find someone you're interested in, talk to them. Converse with them. Get to know them. Tease and play along with him. Don't worry about coming off as clingy or too attached, because unless you're staking him at any given moment, he's not going to mind the attention, and it shows you're interested. Also, if you're not shy about it, light touching or closeness can work to your advantage as well. I'm not saying to go up, and start rubbing yourself against him, but instead, try to (ever so cautiously), work into his comfort zone. The closer he lets you, the more interested he is in you. Even things like the friendly poke or playful punch to the shoulder is fine. Also maintain things like eye contact. The phrase, "Getting lost in one's eyes", isn't just a saying. The longer you're able to maintain eye contact, or the general reaction to it can work to you're advantage as well. Also, smile. Gaining eye contact while smiling can be a double whammy.

Also, and try not to take this the wrong way, but if you're uncomfortable about your appearance, or something else, work on changing it. The better and more comfortable you feel about yourself, the better that comes across to someone else.

That's about all the advice I got. Good luck.

Dont go to bars to pick up guys, guys dont go to bars looking for girlfriends they go to bars to look for girls.

now that that bit of advice is out the way think about the type of person you are both physically and personality wise, all of your good qualities, then come up with a look that compliments those qualities, first impression is the key guys like girls that look good...now before you say "Firstborn im not a sexy supermodel, im just your avg girl" looking good does not mean being something you are not, looking good means being comfortable in your own skin and carrying yourself that way.

since you already have plenty of male friends Im pretty sure you have a A+ personality, so getting a boyfriend wont be to tough a challenge.

good luck.

Pretty much this, also don't go to bars unless you really want to scrape the bucket.

Most of the time just be yourself and talk to guys. Confidence is also good :) Its not that hard and most guys are pretty approachable even if we don't seem to be~

I am completely oblivious when it comes to flirting. unless the woman is brutaly direct and agressive, i miss it.

i have many female friends and they constantly ask me(after it's too late) why i don't respond when they see girls flirt with me. them, "dude, she was totaly flirting with you! you should have asked her out or something". me, "what? when?"

so i say, don't try to be too clever or smooth. just be direct. don't try to get him to ask you out. ask a dude out yourself, "hey what are you doing later? want to go eat/coffe/get drunk in the park/smoke some drugs under a bridge?"

if it's someone you've known for a while already, physical contact, but not too severe(touch his arm or back, not his junk). or playful rough housing. a semi solid punch in the arm, push him over, fall against him. wrestle around a little.

"joking and palling around" can be an excellent way to start a relationship. Now, it really depends on the type of guy you like, as aggressive/submissive behavior can be positive for one guy, but negative for the next. I, personally, would stay away from bars (I do not drink, and prefer a different social setting), this is not to say bars are bad, if the type of setting and guy you like presides there, by all means go, go, go!

I hang out with a big group of friends and am very social, so, when I first met my fiance, I paid special attention to him. If you hang out with a large group of friends, try to ask the "embodiment of your affections" to hang out alone. But, I wouldn't say "alone", more so find something just the two of you can do. Maybe even something as simple as going out to eat together. You are inadvertently showing him and quite possibly the group that you are paying extra attention to this person.

What type of guys are you into and maybe we can narrow it down to a social setting you'd most likely find them?

I'm not really sure to be honest. The only relationship I had was with a really great guy but he was just too laid back-- I guess I want a guy that challenges me and can take a verbal beating and dish it right back at me. I'm really competitive and I love when a someone can banter with me. Plus I'm a complete sucker for a wicked smile. So I guess a mordacious asshole that actually has a heart of gold?(not sure if that exists)

The problem with meeting people is that I have a very small social group and we are all fairly busy and kinda of just chill we we get together, I've been friends with these guys since I was 12 years old and we are all to close and know way to much to be interested in each other.

So when it comes to meeting people I'm sort of on my own. I'm wondering if it would be too bold to just approach a guy after class? I'm not sure if my college is any better than a bar, but could be worth a shot :/

Oh! We like the same kind of guy! Except, maybe not an "asshole" per say, but one you can banter with and create all sorts of jokes with. It exists, trust me.

Alright, so the situation with your social group isn't quite the same as mine, we can look elsewhere.

I, personally, would never approach a guy after class unless we were friends or spoke a bit during class. Yet, if that's within your comfort zone, by all means go for it!

Also if this is you:
you are honestly far too hard on yourself, you are extremely cute and appealing. I don't think looks would get in your way of searching for someone.

Just joke around, and just skim the more saucy material you have. there you go. If a guy is interested he'll immediately jump on it and follow your lead.

if he's too oblivious, well. Good luck.

That picture was taken the day of a full moon it is much more flattering than real life >.<

I really don't think I have the confidence to do that but there a quite a few guys who speak out in class often that are really intelligent-- it's the best chance I've got to meet someone with sort of similar interests. But I don't even know what I would say... "hey you, your brain interests me let us go for coffee."

I'm sure they'd go for it, just saying.

I'd fuck you and leave my number in the morning.

Hell, let's go crazy - I'll stick around in the morning and make you some tea and a good ol' fry-up with all the trimmings in bed. Maybe eventually go for round 2 if you were up for it.

Ya just need more confidence in yourself, girl.

Inb4"lolstopWhiteKnightingfagit"

For me at least, I'm interested in assertiveness.
You kinda have to go with the flow and just guess when you're flirting.
Thats what I do, and I'm usually successful.

You can still joke and pal around, but do so with a sexual overtone. Nothing too slutty, but enough so that they see you as a woman. I asked my boyfriend for more advice, but he was like: "What kind of guy is she trying to attract? If she's into nerds, have her wear nerdy t-shirts and stuff. If she's into jocks, preppy clothes, or in general something bright/colorful that will make her look approachable." But I saw your picture, and personally I'm shocked you have issues. You're super cute! Just be confident, assertive - the same thing that nice guys need to do to attract girls. It'll be hard at first, but don't forget to be yourself at the same time. Once you find a mutual interest with someone, it'll be a lot easier to open up and start having a natural rhythm to your conversation with others. But seriously, you need to start with yourself and finding your own value. You have a lot to give to someone, so don't worry. :)

Just hang out with your friends, you won't find a boyfriend at bars, maybe you could even consider some guys you already know, if there is someone that may interest you, let them know by the way you act etc

HEY! Like some of the others on here are saying, HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE~ Now I know that is easier said than done because your "situation" seems a bit similar to mine, have had the same friends for a while and I find it somewhat difficult to expand on my "friend circle" but that's just me wanting to stay in my comfort zone.
Now you are discussing on potential "partners" you are on the prowl for and how to get them to notice you are indeed attracted to them. I guess my best advice is try to be their friend first and just take it slow. Have some laughs, play video games, throw in a few sexual innuendos here and there and try to form a bond with him and try to get a sense for if he is indeed interested as well. And then, IF ONLY THEN, find the right moment and say out front "I like you"

You are completely right it's that damn comfort zone everything outside it is so damn scary >.< I've always been the type of person to wait for other people to initiate things, even friendships. In high school I relied heavily on my two best friends to introduce me to people and, well, make my friends for me. Two years out of high school and I've lost a few friends who went out of state but gained no new ones. Maybe expanding on my friends should be priority one instead. Walk before you run I suppose.

You sound eerily similar to me, except I have been the one to drift off from my friends but only keep in contact with the ones I really and I stress REALLY like. Yeah, you said you are in college so maybe working on friendships and working on the comfort zone would be a good first step. XD Hell, I'll even work on it myself along with you~
But yeah, for now don't worry about whether you can flirt or not because I do not think it is really a "requirement" to attract the guy anyway. And if you are wanting to flirt do not force it! It's all supposed to be good fun so do not worry about it so much. Just do what you want to do. ^_^

For me girls who are friendly with a good personality catch my eye. Also if they have similar interests it is always a plus. Being friendly might work with some guys but be careful not to lead them on. It is a terrible yet hard to avoid misunderstanding. Also, being a bit playful/fun might help I think. For example Hey *person you like* lets go *something like eating lunch action*. Teasing might work kinda but I'm not sure other guys would be ok with it since I am only ok with it in some cases. Context Context.

I think everyone is relatively shallow, whether they admit it or not, no one wants a relationship with someone who is unattractive to them because sex will eventually be part of that equation. Fortunately everyone considers different things attractive. So your list is pretty fair.

Also I think their is a big difference between wanting someone who is "healthy" and someone who is "thin". Because frankly skinny can be as unhealthy as obese-- extremes are bad. I don't really understand why some girls want to be so thin-- i've never met a guy who finds it attractive when they can play the xylophone on a girl's ribcage, just sayin'. It's not that shallow of a thing to look for.

Personally I too prefer a healthy guy who isn't a bean pole or too muscular but also not very overweight. Very skinny people are no fun too cuddle and how am I supposed to use washboard abs as a pillow? Healthy is a good medium.