Question about flirting...
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nikinefarious wrote...
I think everyone is relatively shallow, whether they admit it or not
I can't say it better myself!
The posts on bars are true; that's a place mainly to mingle and socialize. This can apply to clubs and frat/sorority parties too. I may be speaking as a minority, but as a guy, I don't look too much into issues like confidence, body weight, looks, religion, politics, income and all. Everyone has his/her own skeletons in his/her closets. Everyone has his/her own issues. I respect and totally understand that. I'm open with flirting but would prefer to understand the girl in question more as a person first. I have a slight dislike towards people who are emotionally dependent/needy, so I would say independence (not aloofness) is a point to consider. I think with regards to finding a partner, it's more than just finding an eye candy; it's finding your soul mate. I wouldn't want a girl who keeps pampering me and ignores my flaws; let me know where I went wrong, how I can make up for it and how I can improve myself so I can be a better partner/person. I do admire girls who give their all into things, even endeavors that look pointless or hopeless to me. Anyways, enough about me, what about you?
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axeltrinity wrote...
nikinefarious wrote...
I think everyone is relatively shallow, whether they admit it or not
I can't say it better myself!
The posts on bars are true; that's a place mainly to mingle and socialize. This can apply to clubs and frat/sorority parties too. I may be speaking as a minority, but as a guy, I don't look too much into issues like confidence, body weight, looks, religion, politics, income and all. Everyone has his/her own skeletons in his/her closets. Everyone has his/her own issues. I respect and totally understand that. I'm open with flirting but would prefer to understand the girl in question more as a person first. I have a slight dislike towards people who are emotionally dependent/needy, so I would say independence (not aloofness) is a point to consider. I think with regards to finding a partner, it's more than just finding an eye candy; it's finding your soul mate. I wouldn't want a girl who keeps pampering me and ignores my flaws; let me know where I went wrong, how I can make up for it and how I can improve myself so I can be a better partner/person. I do admire girls who give their all into things, even endeavors that look pointless or hopeless to me. Anyways, enough about me, what about you?
I think a soul mate is a little more than what I want at the moment. I want a laid back sort of relationship that's more than just "friends with benefits" and not quite "the one" (unless it happens totally by accident, as it usually does). I want to be with someone challenging and maybe even a tad bit frustrating-- and as you said defiantly independent but not aloof. Someone who won't take themselves or the relationship too serious but can still commit to something.
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nikinefarious wrote...
I think a soul mate is a little more than what I want at the moment. I want a laid back sort of relationship that's more than just "friends with benefits" and not quite "the one" (unless it happens totally by accident, as it usually does). I want to be with someone challenging and maybe even a tad bit frustrating-- and as you said defiantly independent but not aloof. Someone who won't take themselves or the relationship too serious but can still commit to something.
I understand your point. You never know though, relationships are tricky; they progress and regress. The ideal progression for me would be from a laid-back, honest relationship (kind of like a really close friend) to a more close one. With that being said, flirting is definitely one way of finding the relationship you desire. I prefer meeting people of similar but unique interests/mindsets first since I suck at flirting.
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You look perfectly cute and sexy, either you have low self esteem or you're just plain lying.
If you have low self esteem you should try to boost it, exercise is a good way even just changing your style can help that. If you look at yourself in the mirror don't pick out the things that you think make you look bad, focus on the good features of yourself.
After you have boosted your self-esteem your confidence will be much higher, you will subconsciously pick yourself up and give off a better atmosphere around you.
Also you seem to be picking up guys in the wrong places, clubs and bars are just simply bad for meeting people (unless the obvious one night stand).
To find a guy with certain interests try to find out where people hang out with those interests for example
If you want a guy who likes anime you go to a con,
If you want a guy who likes gaming you would find them at a gaming expo or a gaming shop or
If you want a guy who likes a certain type of fashion they would be at trendy stores or such.
And good way to tell if a guy likes you he will actively talk back to you, look at you while you are talking and generally paying attention to you. Also guys can put their foot in their mouths when talking to a girl so some guys might not even talk and just stare awkardly so you have to initiate a conversation with those guys.
In the end you should have guys lining up for you.
If you have low self esteem you should try to boost it, exercise is a good way even just changing your style can help that. If you look at yourself in the mirror don't pick out the things that you think make you look bad, focus on the good features of yourself.
After you have boosted your self-esteem your confidence will be much higher, you will subconsciously pick yourself up and give off a better atmosphere around you.
Also you seem to be picking up guys in the wrong places, clubs and bars are just simply bad for meeting people (unless the obvious one night stand).
To find a guy with certain interests try to find out where people hang out with those interests for example
If you want a guy who likes anime you go to a con,
If you want a guy who likes gaming you would find them at a gaming expo or a gaming shop or
If you want a guy who likes a certain type of fashion they would be at trendy stores or such.
And good way to tell if a guy likes you he will actively talk back to you, look at you while you are talking and generally paying attention to you. Also guys can put their foot in their mouths when talking to a girl so some guys might not even talk and just stare awkardly so you have to initiate a conversation with those guys.
In the end you should have guys lining up for you.
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iraver42 wrote...
nikinefarious wrote...
iraver42 wrote...
For me I more or less have a check list:1. girl has to be confident
2. needs to be in relatively good health, not disgustingly skinny and not overweight
I know i'm shallow
3. she needs to be relatively attractive (i know once again shallow)
4. she's gotta be cool with the anime scene
5. she has to be a good person
6. I have to get along with her
I think everyone is relatively shallow, whether they admit it or not, no one wants a relationship with someone who is unattractive to them because sex will eventually be part of that equation. Fortunately everyone considers different things attractive. So your list is pretty fair.
Also I think their is a big difference between wanting someone who is "healthy" and someone who is "thin". Because frankly skinny can be as unhealthy as obese-- extremes are bad. I don't really understand why some girls want to be so thin-- i've never met a guy who finds it attractive when they can play the xylophone on a girl's ribcage, just sayin'. It's not that shallow of a thing to look for.
Personally I too prefer a healthy guy who isn't a bean pole or too muscular but also not very overweight. Very skinny people are no fun too cuddle and how am I supposed to use washboard abs as a pillow? Healthy is a good medium.
I wins, I have an indent in my chest and girls seem to love to use it as a head rest when laying on my chest.
Indeed, nobody should ever underestimate the power of being comfortable!