[Locked] She's only 18...
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So here's what's happened:
I was on my way home from work via the subway. I got on to the train, saw a vacant seat and rushed to claim it. It so happened that next to me was this girl. From the look of her she was probably a high school student (where I live almost all the schools make you wear uniforms even in highschool) I thought she was decent looking, there was about one second where we just looked at each other before I sat down and took out a book.
I didn't think much of it, just another person going home. I proceeded to bury my nose in the book hoping to avoid any more awkwardness. Then once the carriage had cleared out a bit she taps me on the shoulder and strikes up a conversation. Pleasantly surprised (and a little worried) I indulge her.
Turns out she's just finished her final high school exams and is getting ready to go to university. At some point I casually mention I'm 24. This was supposed to be code for "I think you're a bit young for me, you sure you want to do this?" Then she tells me she's 18 as if to say "Hey I'm legal so it's cool." (At least that's how I perceived it.) by the time I get off at my stop I've given her my number and email...part of me thinks I should have let the conversation die and just left the train.
She sends me an instant message on the way home to confirm that it's actually my number, and now I've set up a date with her for tomorrow.
Now my head has this whirling internal monologue going on.
What the fuck are you doing!? She was the one who hit on me. Yeah but you gave her your number and lead her on. Is she one of those precocious chicks who dates older men because she finds all the guys at her school immature? I bet she just wants to experiment with kissing and holding hands before she goes to uni...That's patronizing! You don't know that. Maybe she's been with tons of guys and just wants a fling! What about you!? What are you trying to get out of this? I know you want more than just holding hands. How do you even know she's 18!?
But I'm so ronery. This is not the way to meet your desire for women, someone's gonna get hurt no matter what. Your only hope is a hard crash into the friendzone. STFU Mr. Rational, Red Conscience Voice-In-My-Head. Do you know how hard it is for me get girls!? Now a girl has come to me. I am not squandering that!
I don't know how I should handle this... Should I see where this goes? Or just stop right now?
TL:DR: I'm a 24 year old guy who's about to begin dating an 18 year old girl. Is that a bad idea?
I was on my way home from work via the subway. I got on to the train, saw a vacant seat and rushed to claim it. It so happened that next to me was this girl. From the look of her she was probably a high school student (where I live almost all the schools make you wear uniforms even in highschool) I thought she was decent looking, there was about one second where we just looked at each other before I sat down and took out a book.
I didn't think much of it, just another person going home. I proceeded to bury my nose in the book hoping to avoid any more awkwardness. Then once the carriage had cleared out a bit she taps me on the shoulder and strikes up a conversation. Pleasantly surprised (and a little worried) I indulge her.
Turns out she's just finished her final high school exams and is getting ready to go to university. At some point I casually mention I'm 24. This was supposed to be code for "I think you're a bit young for me, you sure you want to do this?" Then she tells me she's 18 as if to say "Hey I'm legal so it's cool." (At least that's how I perceived it.) by the time I get off at my stop I've given her my number and email...part of me thinks I should have let the conversation die and just left the train.
She sends me an instant message on the way home to confirm that it's actually my number, and now I've set up a date with her for tomorrow.
Now my head has this whirling internal monologue going on.
What the fuck are you doing!? She was the one who hit on me. Yeah but you gave her your number and lead her on. Is she one of those precocious chicks who dates older men because she finds all the guys at her school immature? I bet she just wants to experiment with kissing and holding hands before she goes to uni...That's patronizing! You don't know that. Maybe she's been with tons of guys and just wants a fling! What about you!? What are you trying to get out of this? I know you want more than just holding hands. How do you even know she's 18!?
But I'm so ronery. This is not the way to meet your desire for women, someone's gonna get hurt no matter what. Your only hope is a hard crash into the friendzone. STFU Mr. Rational, Red Conscience Voice-In-My-Head. Do you know how hard it is for me get girls!? Now a girl has come to me. I am not squandering that!
I don't know how I should handle this... Should I see where this goes? Or just stop right now?
TL:DR: I'm a 24 year old guy who's about to begin dating an 18 year old girl. Is that a bad idea?
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Flaser
OCD Hentai Collector
She's above the age of consent, she's interested in you and so far you haven't seen any mention of her acting immature or weird... so what's the problem? I see nothing wrong with this.
Dating is about getting to find out about each other, at the worst you find out you two don't fit... or she could be someone you really get along with. Unless you take the time and effort to find out, you'll never know.
Dating is about getting to find out about each other, at the worst you find out you two don't fit... or she could be someone you really get along with. Unless you take the time and effort to find out, you'll never know.
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I agree with the comment above 100%. I mean, She is 18. She an adult. Grant she's a bit younger than you, but that shouldn't be that much of a problem. See how things work out. :D
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animefreak_usa
Child of Samael
Legal and she may let you touch the cream spot. I see no problem if your into her and she on board.
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Tsujoi wrote...
You're thinking too much.This, an adult woman has finally started hitting on you and you're concerned? In most U.S. States, the age of consent ranges from 16-18 and in other countries, even lesser than that!
You're perfectly fine, and in fact there's a possibility you may be overthinking it in another way: She might not be that interested in you.
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LustfulAngel wrote...
Tsujoi wrote...
You're thinking too much.This, an adult woman has finally started hitting on you and you're concerned? In most U.S. States, the age of consent ranges from 16-18 and in other countries, even lesser than that!
You're perfectly fine, and in fact there's a possibility you may be overthinking it in another way: She might not be that interested in you.
Either way, go for the gold. What's the worst that can happen? Be a man! You can do it! Rah rah etc! Seriously though, take the opportunity. Worst case it's a learning experience.
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I'm going to agree with the others and say just go with it. I mean, its not like you were specifically looking for the youngest girls you could get, and from what you said she initiated it.
So yeah, i see no problem here
So yeah, i see no problem here
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Go for it and see where it goes, 18 is age of consent so it would be fine but for the sake of paranoia verify age with her ID. But if you are weird-ed out by age difference age divided by 2 plus 7 tends to be the equation most commonly accepted and in this instance off by 1 year so slightly out of the spectrum but will resolve itself in 3 years. http://xkcd.com/314/
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It's perfectly fine. The worst that could happen would be her parents getting upset with you and trying to sue you, despite not committing a crime. Although that's incredibly unlikely, since it's so much money and effort to do such a thing when you have no reason to do so.
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Besides the old "she's legal" talk I think you should get to know her and find out if she's mature enough for you because the last thing you want to end up with is an immature high school student. At the end of the day though I'd go for it, at least to get to know her and have an experience.
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I agree with the others. Above the age of consent and she pursued you, so I would at least give it a try. Personally, my boyfriend and I have a friend who is in a similar circumstance - the girl that he is dating is also 18 and freshly out of high school, and he's around your age. The problem is that although they are really into each other - she is also immature about a lot of things without knowing that she is necessarily being immature. ("My male friend drove four hours out of the way to come visit me, but he's not into me at all!") They're both really stubborn, and neither is willing to "give up" when it comes to an argument... which happens multiple times a day about really stupid things. That is bound to happen with a younger girl, though - less experience means not being able to know how and when to pick her battles. You might simply find that you two are in such radically different places in life that you could never make it work, but for now I'd say - give it a shot. You really never know. It wouldn't be the first time that a couple managed to make it work even with a huge age gap.
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HappyDia01 wrote...
I agree with the others. Above the age of consent and she pursued you, so I would at least give it a try. Personally, my boyfriend and I have a friend who is in a similar circumstance - the girl that he is dating is also 18 and freshly out of high school, and he's around your age. The problem is that although they are really into each other - she is also immature about a lot of things without knowing that she is necessarily being immature. ("My male friend drove four hours out of the way to come visit me, but he's not into me at all!") They're both really stubborn, and neither is willing to "give up" when it comes to an argument... which happens multiple times a day about really stupid things. That is bound to happen with a younger girl, though - less experience means not being able to know how and when to pick her battles. You might simply find that you two are in such radically different places in life that you could never make it work, but for now I'd say - give it a shot. You really never know. It wouldn't be the first time that a couple managed to make it work even with a huge age gap. Yea, this age gap difference, not everyone can handle it. A mindset fresh out of highschool is certainly not a good choice but it depends. Im in classes with kids almost 5 years younger than me and I cant even coupe with them let alone date one. Its quite rare for girls to even take the lead, she got guts.
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To be honest it's really just the whole "still in highschool" thing. If she was on the other side of 20 and our age difference was the same then I would have no qualms at all.
Looks like this isn't going to be an issue. I went out with her today, there's just no connection. She hardly had anything to say about herself while I practically told her my life story and I tried to get her to talk about herself many times.
Looks like this isn't going to be an issue. I went out with her today, there's just no connection. She hardly had anything to say about herself while I practically told her my life story and I tried to get her to talk about herself many times.
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Drifter995
Neko//Night
Just go with the flow, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. If it does, Gratz.
As I said, just go on the date, see how you go. If you like her, and she seems like your type, continue your venture. else, tell her she isn't your type or whatever, and continue on.
As I said, just go on the date, see how you go. If you like her, and she seems like your type, continue your venture. else, tell her she isn't your type or whatever, and continue on.
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artcellrox
The Grey Knight :y
Drifter995 wrote...
Just go with the flow, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. If it does, Gratz.As I said, just go on the date, see how you go. If you like her, and she seems like your type, continue your venture. else, tell her she isn't your type or whatever, and continue on.
He posted again. Right above you.
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Drifter995
Neko//Night
artcellrox wrote...
Drifter995 wrote...
Just go with the flow, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. If it does, Gratz.As I said, just go on the date, see how you go. If you like her, and she seems like your type, continue your venture. else, tell her she isn't your type or whatever, and continue on.
He posted again. Right above you.
Lame... must've just posted before me/ I must not have seen the second page. Meh
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Second_Prototype wrote...
To be honest it's really just the whole "still in highschool" thing. If she was on the other side of 20 and our age difference was the same then I would have no qualms at all.Looks like this isn't going to be an issue. I went out with her today, there's just no connection. She hardly had anything to say about herself while I practically told her my life story and I tried to get her to talk about herself many times.
Interesting... I went on a date exactly like this right before I met my boyfriend. He talked INCESSANTLY, and then turned to me like: "So, uh - do you have anything to say?" And I was humiliated and embarrassed, because compared to him - nope, I did not. In this case, I was younger then him by 2-3 years, and he had way more life experience then I did. I was just getting my first taste of freedom (high school graduation and car), and he'd been in the Navy for awhile now. We just did not click at all, because he intimidated me. Usually, I'm extremely extroverted and outgoing, and while we seemed to get along well online and over the phone... In real life, it was a different story. That's just your way of knowing that you're not on the same page and it wouldn't work whatsoever. Did you ask her why she had been interested in the first place? You could use that info to your advantage next time.