Wanting the world to break

this is a long poem(I guess) that I wrote

I grew up strong had high morals tryed to protect others would have willingly given my life for the safety and happyness of another and thats alot for a child to do, eventually it just became expected of me and expected of the others to devalue there own life to be used as a shield by others I followed the strong respected and admired the loyal and disciplined, there wasn't very meny of us to start with now there are even fewer left alive, good guys all of them, just hearing people (women mostly) talk of there being no good men left, almost hurts to think of the fact that there are more "good men" in the smallest of gravyards then there are in even the largest of cities.

I always wanted to be a symbol of hope of protection but in the aspect of being challanged I never backed down naturally gifted in strength having a overdrive of an aggressive nature from primal homocidal desires mixed with the rage of my upbringing all made stronger by training both tactically and physicly even held back and heavily sedated my movements and attacks can be considered lethal, in a few moments of trash talk and a flash of bloodshed that I called self defence and others called assault with lethal intent, everyone gone silent and i became a symbol of hope and protection to some but a symbol of fear, bloodshed and brutality to meny more,

originally it branded me a protectior of the weak, a savior of the wounded, a hero then it all just branded me remorseless soldier, a monster, a demon, a killer.... and as such even though I stilll want to serve the world protect it but even more I want to teach it and thats why when I die and the others of my kind are wiped out I want the world to break just alittle bit not to create another set of groups of both honor bound and rage driven soldiers and killers like us or worse the ones driven by revenge and hatred, but to create a generation of people that can learn and adapt enough to solve there own problems both as an individual and a community

after all doing nothing and waiting to be saved by a hero of some sort is almost like inviting death for a cup of tea just before he guts you or even worse waiting, being beat down while watching your hero fall into a pool of his own blood.

for those of you who have the intelligence or the patience to read this far you can take this at face value if you like or you can try to read into it see if you can find any subliminal messages or to see what this view of life and the world means to you if your hardset on your own view of life then so be it atleast you can get a glimpse into a different perspective and gain a second opinion on your views, if your view is similar then at least now you know there are others who still believe in honor and still have some faith in humanity, as for the subliminal messages I can say what it means for me but some of what I learned and what I benefited from may not benefit you everyone learns something different varying on age knowledge experience and many other factors just listen to your thoughts trust your instincts you'll be fine ^^

Whoa,

Somewhat incoherent, badly written, close to becoming a grammatical nightmare (all lower case letters, many missing commas), and definitely not a poem.

Lastly, if you write something with a subliminal meaning, it makes no sense to announce it and it makes even less sense to show yourself available for explanations. You are supposed to let your readers find out for themselves.

tl;dr

If this is a poem it should be moved into the writing section.

This isn't a poem. Also the spelling and grammar make it even more painful.

TL;DR
Wrong section.
Grammar looks atrocious.
Probably a 14 emo kid.
Not even formatted like a poem.
op is faggot.

yea you know to be honest I almost did put it in IB but I figured people there would most likely derail everything or troll
Also I put "(I guess)" cus this was intended as a poem but I didn't really think it came out right but it came close enough atleast also about the subliminal meaning bit I was trying to say more of a hidden meaning from what I know subliminal are things that hit the subconscious to a point where people are subconsciously aware but not necessarily 100% receptive to it.

I guess it was just bad descriptions on my part my bad also just for the record take note I was half asleep when I posted and I'm still kinda new to this online posting thing so cut me alittle slack ^^; anyway thanks for posting some constructive criticism at least unlike some others unfortunately lol

Obligatory response

"TL;DR" do I even need to explain how ignorant this is or how obvious this is as a troll attempt

"wrong section" valid point im new to posting online and on fakku not too sure where everything gos atm

"grammar" MUST KILL GRAMMER NAZI!!!!
jk once again valid point while I do have high intelligence and "wiser then my years" however obviously spelling and grammar are not my specialty

"probably a 14 emo kid." age 19 bro, first off EPIC TROLLFAIL not considered "emo" by any means I will acknowledge this though some people would consider me "goth" even though real goths say I'm not even close funniest thing iv heard was someone said I was like a violent hippy

"not even formatted like a poem" lets just get this straight barely know grammar I had no idea there was a completely different set of rules for poetry I just type I'm trying (and improving by trial and error) but I'm no spelling/grammar master so chill

"op is a faggot" and you are a whiny trolling bitch. constructive criticism is more then welcome but as for trolling JUST fk off UMAD?

Broski, that is one hell of a way to start off bad in these threads. Like many people suggest to me to you.

Lurk more.

Good for you

so you were motivated by the writing section (of which I had no idea was there btw) I was motivated by SD and IB(not that I want to post anything in IB I just like to read troll attempts get twisted and derailed into completely different troll attempts)

anyway as for poem I intended it to be that but it just felt off from the start hence the "(I guess)" at the start it was intended to be poetic but didn't turn out that way unfortunately.
As for memoir I had completely forgotten of that word that type of description that hits this post dead, makes me think that maybe it would have been better if I approached this differently.

also putting this as a story saying that is almost an insult to me but iv told other people my experiences with the gangs and other groups in cali and a lot of them say it would make a good movie/book I do however write short storys in my spare time its usually dreams I have, sometimes I can remember the whole dream other times I only remember bits and parts then just try to fill in the rest
its what people call a "dreamwriter" (i think) I may post a few of them later.
thanks for the advice and constructive criticism ^^

Tegs, will I get in trouble for massive derail?

;___;

Whoa OP.

Listen to the posters above. This is 3edgy5me.

Man, that writing section sure is hard to find...

I already found it after solidsharks post no need to be a sarcastic asshole and fyi that's on the very bottom of the list I rarely look at the very bottom of any page I usually start with the top then when I get bored I start looking lower meaning I got into fakku forums via SD IB and random

(start reading at 0:19)
This is not a poem, but grammatical suicide.
A five year old could write one better, and they wouldn't even have to try.
Did you even attempt to put it in the right section?
Look further down. The Writing forum's in that direction.
Commas, capitals and spaces, where the fuck they at?
Language so atrocious it'd give Oscar Wilde a heart attack.
I can't think of more to add, so I better quit.
Call me Sweet Brown, since I ain't got time for this shit.

Well I don't think he ever fully stated that he was going for a subliminal message. Stating something directly or letting the reader figure it out themselves is just the difference between a writing that is abstract and one that aims to be more concrete.

holy fk o.o I just got trolled by one of the funniest people on fakku you are a comedic GOD to me
aside from my being awestruck all I gotta say I didn't look down yea I should have my mistake ^^;