Was I a complete dick? Or well Justified?

So yesterday my friend stupidly got back together with her ex, one she's broken up with and gotten back together a bazillion times, so I put a rather harsh joke in my msn name about the two, which also involved the fact she's gotten pregnant and aborted with him before.

The joke followed as 'You two must have a fetish for getting pregnant, and then losing the kid'

She saw it of course and we ended up arguing about it, she was rather hurt about it since I helped her a lot through the abortion process.

But in the end I'm glad I made the harsh probably bad joke, a lot of people are sick of them two being stupid and I'm glad I was open about it, maybe I should've been less of a dick about it?

But to add some discussion to this topic, has there ever been times where you've been honest with someone and your cruel about it?

I would have to say that was tactless. I understand your point though, and it isn't as though I know them so maybe a joke like that was the only way to convey the message. Jeez though, after all that and they want to get back together? Kids these days, I swear.

As for personal experience a lot of my jokes to friends seem "cruel" it is just what my high school friends and I did. I always hated it though. I was great at hiding it, but I always had self-esteem issues in high school - even still - and those jokes never helped. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black, but it's how we treated each other whether we were wanting to be serious or not.

From what I was told by a few mothers who had abortions, it is a terrible emotional scar. Not something you should use like that.

one of my friends refuses to see reason, and so sometimes we are cruel to him out of anger that he won't listen in the first place.

Sometimes dicketry is the only way to reach people. i know harsh comments/critques make more of an impression on me.

from what i've seen in life, the guy is just there for the easy lay, and i bet he is her 'first love'. i know it sounds sexist, but i've seen this two times i can prove, and a few times i can't. one was a couple i knew, had a kid moved back to her home town. she soon left the father for her H.S. sweetheart. the other was an abusive guy, but she kept going back. even after she finaly stopped seeing him, she named her first kid(from another guy) after the asshole, and her two other kids with the same first initial.

edit/add
forgot to mention, publicly saying she had an abortion did cross the line. that is a very private matter.

I don't think it was something you should have done. It's a very personal issue and if you wanted to talk about it then maybe in private would be more fitting. But don't worry, were only human after all and we so stupid shit all the time.

I like how you tried to be open about it and i don't think it's a bad idea. Just try to be a little more sensitive about the issue.

Telling people they suck through your MSN name - the proper way to tell people they should cut back on doing stupid shit. Totally.

Others have said something about the abortion issue (I'm with them), but next time, grow some balls and tell them outright.

I think that you were too harsh, its better to talk to them in person, but i have to admit, sometimes you need to be a bitch to really drive your point home.

Admittedly it was a cowardly thing to do through my msn name, I'm not entirely proud of what I did, i'm only happy i've made my point clear.

I think the portrayal of your feelings is good, it's just the way you went about it.

Usually, I /roll sarcasm.

well you got your point across... that's the important thing...

I can't say being more "easy" on her might look better but that's now how the world works and it the thoughts will always fall short... after all criticism is always harsh... it's just up to the person who's on the receiving end on how he/she takes it...

sounds like your justified.

A joke is funny only when it's not too personal. Imo, you pulled a dickful move. That's like telling someone who loves their deceased mother that she forgot to give back your loan before she died. You know how much that would affect the person? I'll say considerably. At least, what I'm trying to say is, that was full of risk and you're lucky that it slide comfortably and your other friends would back you up saying their tired of that break up routine.

You had to do what you had to do to get the point across and make her see what you were trying to say, though admittidly the joke might have be a bit to harsh.

You should be proud that you told her how you feel, but you could have gone about it differently. Going through an abortion can be a traumatizing experience, and its probably not something to make jokes about...

To answer your question; yes, Ive ended up being a dick while trying to be honest. While it only happens when Im in a heated arugument, saying something that was "too harsh" can become a major strain on a freindly relationship.

My advice on your situation would be to apologize. Your obviously upset about it, or you wouldnt have made the thread, so just apologize to her =)

Being honest is always the good way to go dude, even if its a dick move.
But Ikaros (Gugu) is right, abortions leaves women emotionally scarred, and apparently it wrecks havoc on their insides, so harsh move on that.