Who is she/he and what do you want to say to them.

To you my best female friend:

I wish you weren't that tall.

I just can't imagine myself dating someone who's a head taller than me.

I'm sorry if you liked me, but I think it's for the best.

Lovely * Complex just isn't possible with me.

your friend.

I hate you so much. Thank you for making my life miserable and fucking lonely!

To J: Good lord, you are such a bloated cunt. You have no redeeming qualities, you two-faced chafed clit. I seriously don't get why I still talk to you, since you're always a bitch to me. I seriously Fucking hate you, let me bang you already and be done with it.

To A: why couldn't you tell me you had the hots for me after I moved away, especially when you practically rejected me when I had confessed to you months prior. Make some Fucking sense, and I love you.

To S: totally wish I wasn't thinking with my dick most of the time and ruined the surprisingly close relationship we had. Though we were only friends and nothing more, I really thought of you as a lover, though with how things went I'm pretty you hate or at least... with how much time has passed, dislike me. I'm glad you still talk to me at least, though I can still feel the hate. Wish you'd forgive me.

To the other S: you're a Fucking gutless harpy. You're bloody selfish and impatient, and I hope your Ovaries rot and your clit combusts into a flurry of a thousand really pissed off fire ants. I can say that love and devotion I had for you, turned into total and eternal hatred. What kind of asshole breaks off an engagement and relationship on their anniversary? You. Oh, you think I was cheating because I couldn't see come you and you couldn't take the distance? Sorry, if school and worked took up the time I didn't spend texting and calling you. Guess I wasted 2000 dollars for that plane ticket and engagement ring I couldn't get you before?
Good job getting my best friend to date you literally a day after leaving me. You need to die due to horrible circumstances, please get to doing that.

Rot in Hell.<3

To A: please stop trying to force a relationship down my throat. Were friends with benefits and it'll stay that way. I love you and all, but you're far too into being a furry and loving beastiality for me to even consider a relationship with you as an afterthought.

To yet another S: you're a Fucking lunatic and I'm surprised you haven't tried to rape me or stalk me yet. I'm assuming you haven't found my address. Keep it that way. Quit being so hyper and I swear if you pull/touch/tug my hair, I swear on my siblings graves I will strangle you. DON'T. TOUCH ME. :<

To R: You're an alcoholic, like a SERIOUS alcoholic. You should let me bang you though, as often as you drink, you'll likely forget it happened.

To L: you seriously make no sense. As smart as you are academically, you have like zero common sense. I did A LOT for you, comforted you, move in with me rent free, cooked for you, did your laundry sometimes too. I was practically a house wife because I had deep feelings for you. I confessed and you rejected me because you was STILL Hung up on my best friend who had lied to you and used you... sorry still uses you for sex. He doesn't love you, never did and I told you that to keep you from getting hurt. Then you go out with several other assholes who I warned you about them when you told me. Now you have herpes. Good job, not listening, you deserve every itch.

To F: Dude, you're a creeper, like big time creeper. You are not my type, nor will you ever. Stop existing, you're likely adopted and I can see why you was abandoned.

To N: I had the august crush on you since middle school as you already know. I don't get to see you often and I know the one time we went put to catch up wasn't exactly awesome. I'm too much of a lame to call, please get texting on your phone or get online more often. I would like to try again and do better this time. You are absolutely gorgeous and i rather not miss the chance before you lust after some asshole.

Guy I met recently: I like you. basically.

To ex-Yeah, I supported you through a lot and then you up and left me like that. I hope your threesome was great, and I'd still like the engagement ring back.

To possible romantic interest-I'm not sure if that was a date or just friends hanging out, but my chest was pounding like crazy all night. Next time we get together I'll think of more interesting things to do than, walk around downtown.

I cannot rival the epicness of Maeve's post, but what the hell:

So, when i met you last year I liked you, I liked you a lot more than anyone else I've met in quite some time. Obviously when people first meet/start fancying someone they think it's special and unique and their bond could be stronger than anything before or since, etc. Hyperbole aside: When I first saw you, I thought you were cute. Normally when I fancy a girl seriously it happens slowly; I get to know her and then I realise at random, "Hey, she's pretty attractive." You, I thought you were attractive first, then got to know your temperament and interests and decided that yes, you're the first girl I've met in three years I would have actually wanted to ask out on a date. I'm really bad at that shit, so it's not a decision I make lightly. Unfortunately, you live hundred of miles away. I've tried to alleviate the distance, tried harder and been more dedicated about it than anything I've ever tried before, because frankly, this is the kind of victory I need to pull myself out a years of misery and generally feeling helpless and useless. So I tried. I really, really, really tried. And I failed.

...That was kind of cathartic.

At least now I know that I would have wasted my time telling you how I feel about you. Thank you for crushing my chances and sparing me.

-Your friend.

I've only said a few words to you. I really want to talk to you more, but I never get the right chance, and when I might, said chance is blocked by my persistent shy-nature. I hate how shy I can be, but now, with my friends always saying I should do something, and also kind of helping me out by talking to you, I think it'll be a lot easier. I want to know you better, at the very least, while I still have the chance.

~ Your secret admirer.

PS. You should wear your glasses more. They only add to your radiance.

To my ex-gf

Can't believe you cheated on me. You put me under your spell and I was drawn to you for two years after that. I couldn't get over you. But now that I'm over you and I hear all this shit about what's going on with your "love life," I think to myself, HAH! My life is so much better than yours right now.

To C: Told you I would make it.

To S: I'm really glad you finally found someone else that made you happy.

I am so confused about you right now. I'm not sure if I should be happy or mad. And seeing that side of you today kind of scared me, but it shows that you aren't that different. You bringing that trip again makes me wonder a lot about you. You asking how I was and that deep conversation we had today is now deep in my thoughts. But I must say, today was awesome, and it always is when I spend it with you. I thought about asking you today, but I held back. It's a good thing I didn't. Now I want to get closer, closer than I've ever gotten to someone before.

All in due time I guess. I've waited this long, I can wait a bit more...

Dear Fatass,
I really, truly hate you. I can hardly stand to be in the same room with you. I don't give a damn that we're blood. I can't wait to not have to see you on a regular basis. I can't wait to not have to deal with your constant bullshit. I can't wait to not have to clean up after your messes because you're too incompetent to do it yourself. I can't wait to be free of you.

To my future ex.

I'll fuck your brains out tomorrow, and after three days, I'll break up with you. I just don't feel something. You've insulted my culture and my hobbies, so fuck you, fuck you literally.


Sincerely,

Rick

To my ex,

I'm very happy. I know I got much more out of our relationship than you did, but I still feel resentment towards you. I don't know why. But thanks. I learned a lot from being with you.

I'm happy. I'm simply happy. It was 14 months of stress and now I feel free from it. And yes, in case you were wondering, I AM going to that school and I don't give a damn why you think I am. In time, you'll see that you were wrong and I made the right choice.

You didn't deserve me.

Toodles.

-Stephanie

To my son,

Get out.

*sigh* Its hard to read your signals, I can't tell if your eggin me on or not.
Sadly, It looks like my love should be set afar since it seems you are not interested in having a boyfriend. Much less interest in me...



I could've ROCKED YOUR FUCKING WORLD!

To whom i have a restraining order on:

I still dream of killing you and getting back my old records and shirt that you stole off my dresser..

To Deidre, I hope you find someone you love that isn't your psych doctor and I miss you.

To Z, hopefully you became an engineer of computers cause I really care about you and miss you hopefully you have a nice life with the man of your dreams.

To goddess boi frigg from "at" live your own life and I miss you too much

To my 3 ex best friends: Thank you. You were nothing but a bunch bitches who left me alone when I was really needing someone else to help me.

To that crazy bitch: C'mon leave us alone. We don't want to hear anything else about you or your daughter. We had enough on those 9 months. So please dissappear or I'll hit you really hard and none will stop me.

To my iPhone 4:

You were an amazing device. You had almost everything one person would ask from a smartphone. I loved how your interface was so simple yet powerful. I loved how I couldn't see the pixels no matter how hard I squinted on your Retina Display. I loved how there were so many awesome polished apps that could do pretty much everything a person can ask for. I loved how your battery lasts the whole day.

Why is it that the only feature you're missing is so integral to me?

I've been with you since 2007. I've owned every iteration of you. I ignored all those the complaints about your bad notification system and the lack of widgets didn't make much of a difference with me.

Why can't you do decode other video formats aside from MP4?

I know Apple wants the user experience to be seamless. I know they believe the installation of codecs or allowing third-party players such as VLC gain access to hardware acceleration may jeopardize the user experience (in terms of battery, most likely). But this feature for a lot of people who see the iPhone and iPad as multimedia consumption devices is just too important.

I was really looking forward to my iPad 2. It technically should be able to play my 720p MKV without a problem given its hardware, but alas, it choked on the first frame no matter what I give it. This is just not good enough. When the Samsung Galaxy S II came out, it is the first Android phone with hardware powerful enough to decode MKV, even at 1080p as if it's butter.

The decision was obvious.

I know I'm two timing, and I'm sincerely sorry about this. Unless Apple implements third-party hardware acceleration APIs, I just can't see myself going back to this platform. The iPad 2 is a perfect example of a tablet powerful enough in terms of hardware, but becomes limited as a result of Apple's tight control.

I hope that my video comparison will help you forgiving me for doing such a thing as owning another smartphone aside from you.