Mom and Dad
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GracefulDiscension. wrote...
Like everyone so brilliantly put it. Parents are people who raise you for better or for worse.Like i would say it.
Just two questions though:
what is your gender?
Have you sometimes felt like the female gender if you are a male?
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For me parents are the people who raised you. It doesn't matter if they are your real parents or even if they are both female. A parent is someone who you trust, respect, and look up to.
A family friend of mine is adopted and has 2 Dads. The fact that they are not related and that they are not the "traditional model parents" (1 Dad and 1 Mom) makes their bond as parent and child even stronger. Sometimes I even wonder if their bond as a parent and child are even stronger than the ones who are actually related.
It might not matter whether the couple is straight, lesbian or gay, though I think there should at least be a little difference. Something that should be lacking.
I think this is kind of true. I grew up with only my mom. I think because of this there are times where I understand things in a females point of view but not in the males. But one thing is for sure.. it doesn't make me swing the other way.
A family friend of mine is adopted and has 2 Dads. The fact that they are not related and that they are not the "traditional model parents" (1 Dad and 1 Mom) makes their bond as parent and child even stronger. Sometimes I even wonder if their bond as a parent and child are even stronger than the ones who are actually related.
Haburi-Chan wrote...
I wonder if you don't miss a 'father' person in your life. I always used to think both the father and the mother give roles to follow as a child for both girls and boys. It might not matter whether the couple is straight, lesbian or gay, though I think there should at least be a little difference. Something that should be lacking.
I think this is kind of true. I grew up with only my mom. I think because of this there are times where I understand things in a females point of view but not in the males. But one thing is for sure.. it doesn't make me swing the other way.
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RedJest wrote...
For me parents are the people who raised you. It doesn't matter if they are your real parents or even if they are both female. A parent is someone who you trust, respect, and look up to. A family friend of mine is adopted and has 2 Dads. The fact that they are not related and that they are not the "traditional model parents" (1 Dad and 1 Mom) makes their bond as parent and child even stronger. Sometimes I even wonder if their bond as a parent and child are even stronger than the ones who are actually related.
interesting thought. Cos parents and child unrelated by blood may try harder to bond than biological ones, who may tend take to their relationship for granted.
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I hate my mom. She never cared about me. I believe that parents should help children grow and learn for themselves. Forcing lifestyles on them will feel too contrived, know what I mean?
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Septin wrote...
GracefulDiscension. wrote...
Like everyone so brilliantly put it. Parents are people who raise you for better or for worse.Like i would say it.
Just two questions though:
what is your gender?
Have you sometimes felt like the female gender if you are a male?
I'm male but rarely do I feel out of gender.
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It is important for a young boy to have male role models, but later in life things get less complicated. If the kid is rational, than he can figure most things out. All my father really instilled in me is a sense of brusqueness, and knowledge of basic car maintenance. The rest could be performed by any good parent--hetero or otherwise.
As far as I know, the only thing traditional families do for girls is build healthy sexuality (in heterosexual ones). Ask somebody else about that.
Spoiler:
As far as I know, the only thing traditional families do for girls is build healthy sexuality (in heterosexual ones). Ask somebody else about that.
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Theres a difference between adult role models, your birth parents, and your parents. Your birth parents dont have to be your care takers and might not give a shit about you. But a role model is god-like to you. While a person who takes care of you with love can be your parent without any blood relation at all. In a way so can a friend be this way...
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loosehead99 wrote...
What does it take to be true parents? Not biology. Sometimes, I wished people have take a test to be approved for parenthood.+rep, it'll make things way easier for some of us, too.
J.D. wrote...
I still remember how for my family tree chart in second grade, I listed one of my brothers as my father, and my teacher and principal called my parents in for a conference. It was in my opinion and still is in my opinion that the people who love you and watch over your development are your true parents.Goodness, how can they not be mindful and respectful of a child's opinion?! Did your teacher and principal enquire further to gain insight on why you felt that way before the PTC? As teachers, they are at the forefront at modelling gracious, mindful, sensitive-tolerant social behaviours. The only reason why little ones become obnoxious are because of close-minded people like that. They are a reflection of the adult values in their environment.
OT: No, such stereotypes for me. Parenting and caregiving roles are not defined by gender. Family makeup and roles are changing. Ultimately, most of us would agree that parents are under-rated and under-appreciated individuals that raised you. The attachment and bond that you develop with your folks speaks louder and more fiercely than any biological crap.
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Anddo wrote...
I hate my mom. She never cared about me. I believe that parents should help children grow and learn for themselves. Forcing lifestyles on them will feel too contrived, know what I mean?If your mum didnt abuse or treat you overly badly you should still be grateful having them to raise you to be who you are. Even if she is forcing lifestyles onto you, that actually signifies that you are important and means she cares a lot about you, but just went about it in the wrong way in expressing that care.
As for me I was raised in a normal family but when I moved overseas and my dad stayed where he was to work to bring income for the family we would only ever get to see each other once every half a year during my childhood. I didnt think of it much at the time but I definitely missed the prescence he provided, and I would unconciously seek for another male figure to look up to._.it helped me gain confidence and give me strength in what I did, but I know they can never replace my dad.
Being away from him so long, when we do see each other we only have a few exchanges of words, but hes still my dad and I know he cares a lot about me, but he's just not the type to show it on his face (but you can feel it in the heart)
Maybe thats a side I have learnt from him as well, as I can be quite stubbon in what I do and not to show much emotion when talking to my dad.
Even though parents are the people who raised you, to me they are more like my soulmate and even if the words do not come out and we argue a lot, we still connect with each other intrinscally.
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Your parents are whoever raises you. Gender, one parent or three, human or Malaysian Tapir doesn't really matter.
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Septin wrote...
what is your gender? Have you sometimes felt like the female gender if you are a male?
I want to answer as well!
I am a male,
and my masculinity really has not ever been threatened, my parents always went out of their way to make sure that i had good male role models in my life. Sometimes i do end up trying to act more like a "guy" just to overcompensate, because it is something i have thought about.
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Don't sweat it. The whole, "Are same sex families entitled to children", and "I have two moms/dads. Are they my parents?" questions are nothing more then the bastard, deformed offspring of a predominantly inbred christian culture afraid of change.
You have two moms? Moar power to them. Your family are the people who loved you enough to spend years with you, taught you right from wrong, and cared for you until you were old enough to leave the nest.
And fuck anyone or anything who says different.
You have two moms? Moar power to them. Your family are the people who loved you enough to spend years with you, taught you right from wrong, and cared for you until you were old enough to leave the nest.
And fuck anyone or anything who says different.
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J.D. wrote...
I still remember how for my family tree chart in second grade, I listed one of my brothers as my father, and my teacher and principal called my parents in for a conference.
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There are plenty of parents from 'traditional' families that should never have been aloud to breed. if the parents provide for the child and don't abuse them, who cares what gender or how many they are.
edit/add:
i just watched The Birdcage again, i think it's a good example of OP point.
edit/add:
i just watched The Birdcage again, i think it's a good example of OP point.