yugioh999 Posts
Livided
FAKKU Writer
high_time wrote...
nicely done descriptions and I like the scenes where both Xenon and Medzy got something going with their enemy. not really ending on a rush and not overdoing it either. there's still some few things that made me kind of confused, but overall I got the general picture of this story, nice job.a bit of mix-ups and typos I caught while reading this out aloud but not much of a problem. I say it flows pretty smoothly and pretty nice even when read aloud.
keep up the good work.
I can pretty much guess what confused you, cause I sorta ran out of words to properly explain it all lol and had to brush over a few scenes or details. =P
If I may ask you a question however as the first to comment. I tried to add a little bit of more humour if you can call it that, did it come through or did it fall flat for you?
Livided
FAKKU Writer
Was worth the wait, another work by someone which I think is their best I read yet, albeit I have only read one work before. =P
Has the style, atmopshere building and sort of story I really relate to and I have very little else to add but to say easily top 3 best stories I read of this year's entries. Beautifully written, excellent use of words and how you describe the world around the character.
Very well done and good luck to the rest of the contest!
Has the style, atmopshere building and sort of story I really relate to and I have very little else to add but to say easily top 3 best stories I read of this year's entries. Beautifully written, excellent use of words and how you describe the world around the character.
Very well done and good luck to the rest of the contest!
Livided
FAKKU Writer
Cinia Pacifica wrote...
I finally got some free time, but couldn't get any inspiration or motivation to write something for the contest. >:That's a shame. :(
Livided
FAKKU Writer
Trying to link my entry, hoping I didn't mess it up. =)
[Winter Contest Entry 2013] - Cold, fire and gauntlets
[Winter Contest Entry 2013] - Cold, fire and gauntlets
Livided
FAKKU Writer
This is my entry for this year and what seems to have become my own christmas/new year traditon now is to write about the two characters I first wrote about last year. The characters were inspired by the two names I use which are from two fellow fakku users, so special thanks to those for the inspiration (Xenon and Medzy).
This entry continues the story from my last entry in 2012 "The little things...", albeit a lot of time has passed since both in real life and within this fantasy world.
Since this story takes place in my own fictional world that I write about in my very much so amatuer novel series, a lot of things may not make sense to some readers and I apologise for that. But I am quite a limited writer, so it is what it is. =)
I started off fairly confident writing this story, but this quickly evaporated as I realized what I wanted to write for this story easily filled over 10 pages. So after paragraph upon paragraph being removed and whole story elements and scenes cut out, I present to you my entry at exactly 2000 words not counting the title.
Small edit: Now 1998 words.
This entry continues the story from my last entry in 2012 "The little things...", albeit a lot of time has passed since both in real life and within this fantasy world.
Since this story takes place in my own fictional world that I write about in my very much so amatuer novel series, a lot of things may not make sense to some readers and I apologise for that. But I am quite a limited writer, so it is what it is. =)
I started off fairly confident writing this story, but this quickly evaporated as I realized what I wanted to write for this story easily filled over 10 pages. So after paragraph upon paragraph being removed and whole story elements and scenes cut out, I present to you my entry at exactly 2000 words not counting the title.
Small edit: Now 1998 words.
Spoiler:
Livided
FAKKU Writer
y00han wrote...
i think its REALLY obvious that no one cared at all. the fact that no one cares at all, including the reader, makes the story exclusive to the writer, and then that begs the question: why publicize this?Heh, I somewhat I agree with you except I liked how it was done lol. xD
Livided
FAKKU Writer
FGRaptor wrote...
Xenon wrote...
Thank you, it has been fixed. Haven't seen you in a while, though. I hope you grace the submissions this year with your lovely comments just like last.Oh, I'm being remembered, that is surprising and quite nice. I will indeed aim to leave feedback to everyone's stories, but I want to wait with it until I submit my own, which should happen soonâ„¢.
You can do it! =)
Livided
FAKKU Writer
high_time wrote...
Livided wrote...
Aye, while I am still unsure about the "bad stuff" the good stuff and changes you made makes this probably my favorite story you've written so far.
As for perfection, I agree I think. We all chase perfection in my opinion, but what seperates the best from the rest in this regard is while the good think they can catch it, the best knows its a chase that will never end. Or something like that. =P
ah thank you very much. in reply to that, I can only say things I've said many times before : I still have lot more things to learn =D
concur to that
though I think yeah, chasing or simply trying to be the best only creates a tremendous burden. what I wanted was freeing myself from the boundaries and search for things that were the most important, which gave it a meaning and you know, a push forward for me in my daily lives.
maybe you could say this is my kind of 'perfection', even if I'm not really chasing it.
Aye we all have our own kind of perfection and view about it. =) To me it simply means doing the best I can do, can be as simple as being a better friend or son to as something more material and egocentrical as being a better writer.
Livided
FAKKU Writer
high_time wrote...
Livided wrote...
Well, regardless I did enjoy it, at least to me and my foggy memory it is has a lot of good qualities and I like the change. Keep it up and maybe "perfect" it if it is not already in such a state!
for me I kind of consider it as another beginning of stuff, and many things will eventually keep up as beginnings of many things else. so yeah, I kind of remembered I do put the phrase 'where we begin is where we end'.
I for myself did not look at perfection as a good quality. I probably like to think that yeah, it's all about constant exploration through stuff which made it fun. and when that so called perfection was kind of, you know, reached by chance. I guess it's the signal to start over fresh from the beginning.
like it's the first time writing and you just want to create something utmostly goofy and silly over and over because it's refreshing =D
in my opinion the perfection thingy was not something that could be forced too, rather its more fun intentionally dealing into many faults like it's a natural thing and just move on while taking the wound. kind of masochistic maybe but sometimes that's how I roll.
glad you like it, I also like when my stuff has both good and bad qualities, guess it brought out a kind of color to it. thanks for reading =)
Aye, while I am still unsure about the "bad stuff" the good stuff and changes you made makes this probably my favorite story you've written so far.
As for perfection, I agree I think. We all chase perfection in my opinion, but what seperates the best from the rest in this regard is while the good think they can catch it, the best knows its a chase that will never end. Or something like that. =P
Livided
FAKKU Writer
high_time wrote...
Livided wrote...
My response to this will be pretty useless I fear, but giving one anyway. =PI am not sure what I think of this entry, I both love it and hate it and I cannot exactly explain why lol. But a story that makes ya think about what you are reading is always good, so it is more good then bad.
I will try and keep reading it to try and give a better feedback to it, but for now I am just not sure what it is I really like and really dislike. I just get this mixed feeling after reading it.
well I think it's because I was experimenting with a kind of surrealist narrative using lot of metaphors instead of actual events to portray the narrator's psychological condition. kind of bored with usual story thingy where you proceed like usual so yeah, decided to try something new.
it was more like hit and miss thing yeah, probably will not suit the taste of many.
I think it was nothing sort of deep, just the usual scribble note of mine like writing a diary. happy reading, and let me know if you have something in mind =)
Well, regardless I did enjoy it, at least to me and my foggy memory it is has a lot of good qualities and I like the change. Keep it up and maybe "perfect" it if it is not already in such a state!
Livided
FAKKU Writer
I spotted a lot of grammatical errors or misspelled words, but besides that I really enjoy your writing style and the way you create the setting and atmosphere.
This was a good and interesting read and as an extra bonus for me was I somehow kept connecting yer avatar pic to the story, helped the atmosphere even more so. =)
This was a good and interesting read and as an extra bonus for me was I somehow kept connecting yer avatar pic to the story, helped the atmosphere even more so. =)
Livided
FAKKU Writer
My response to this will be pretty useless I fear, but giving one anyway. =P
I am not sure what I think of this entry, I both love it and hate it and I cannot exactly explain why lol. But a story that makes ya think about what you are reading is always good, so it is more good then bad.
I will try and keep reading it to try and give a better feedback to it, but for now I am just not sure what it is I really like and really dislike. I just get this mixed feeling after reading it.
I am not sure what I think of this entry, I both love it and hate it and I cannot exactly explain why lol. But a story that makes ya think about what you are reading is always good, so it is more good then bad.
I will try and keep reading it to try and give a better feedback to it, but for now I am just not sure what it is I really like and really dislike. I just get this mixed feeling after reading it.
Livided
FAKKU Writer
y00han wrote...
who are the judges that I'm supposed to PM and how do i do it? lol im not a forumerNo need to PM anyone if you followed the rules listed on the first page of this topic.
As for the judges, it is Xenon and Grover on the judges' award. The other side of the contest is vote on basis, so the judges there are everyone who wanna read and vote. =)
Livided
FAKKU Writer
Nice you decided to join in. =)
Will check the story later today and edit this post but for now just wanted to say. Joining for fun is the best sort of reason!
Will check the story later today and edit this post but for now just wanted to say. Joining for fun is the best sort of reason!
Livided
FAKKU Writer
y00han wrote...
where do we submit?Just out in the Writing and Fanfiction forum, just make sure you post it under the right title as Xenon as instructed and follow the rules. =)
Livided
FAKKU Writer
Before I read this properly a quick suggestion, get some space in between the texts please, they are all mostly clumped up, would greatly appreciate some paragraphs. =P
Edit:
Alright read it, the story ranges from good to mediocre for me, the start pulls me in which I always love, the atmosphere you create is always very nice and the chars seems decent.
I saw several strange choices of writing in the text though, which may either be intentional and just a clash of writing styles or things you missed, so taking up a few.
"continued and ride continued." sounds very clunky to me.
"The young man looked up for a moment before looking back down at the boat, it seemed he wasn’t going to say anything but after a few minutes he responded." I cant help picture how incredibly uncomfortable just a few seconds of silence is, as when yer alone with one other person in silence, time sorta tends to slow down. So saying for a few minutes makes me giggle a bit imagining that situation. xD
Besides this just some basic grammar choices which I am unsure if they are wrong or correct as I myself am far from an expert, but some sentences just seems oddly formed.
Overal interesting and good story, it pulled me in well enough and kept me reading!
Edit:
Alright read it, the story ranges from good to mediocre for me, the start pulls me in which I always love, the atmosphere you create is always very nice and the chars seems decent.
I saw several strange choices of writing in the text though, which may either be intentional and just a clash of writing styles or things you missed, so taking up a few.
"continued and ride continued." sounds very clunky to me.
"The young man looked up for a moment before looking back down at the boat, it seemed he wasn’t going to say anything but after a few minutes he responded." I cant help picture how incredibly uncomfortable just a few seconds of silence is, as when yer alone with one other person in silence, time sorta tends to slow down. So saying for a few minutes makes me giggle a bit imagining that situation. xD
Besides this just some basic grammar choices which I am unsure if they are wrong or correct as I myself am far from an expert, but some sentences just seems oddly formed.
Overal interesting and good story, it pulled me in well enough and kept me reading!
Livided
FAKKU Writer
Not sure, I will probably try and leave it just before closing time and then flee from the evul comments. xD
I feel somehow more confident about the plot idea for this one then my last which makes me very worried lol.
For now I just wanna try and catch up on reading everyone else's work and comment and participate in the funz. =P
I feel somehow more confident about the plot idea for this one then my last which makes me very worried lol.
For now I just wanna try and catch up on reading everyone else's work and comment and participate in the funz. =P
Livided
FAKKU Writer
Aye I understand, but it is still a dangerous tactic to employ is my pointz. =P
Livided
FAKKU Writer
One of my favorite story so far in this contest and to me has the setting, story and quality of something I would pay for, but perhaps I am baised as I do love fantasy settings.
I will try and re-read this story again more deeply later to perhaps find some better constructive feedback for you, but for now, I have nothing but good things to say about this entry. My hat goes off to ya.
I will try and re-read this story again more deeply later to perhaps find some better constructive feedback for you, but for now, I have nothing but good things to say about this entry. My hat goes off to ya.
Livided
FAKKU Writer
Most have already been said, I am struggling to add something original.
But I will say as someone who can enjoy a mad story, I enjoyed it for the sake of the madness and randomness of it hehe. The dialogue to me was also very interesting.
As for the negative parts, yea, everyone above it said it all.
But I will say as someone who can enjoy a mad story, I enjoyed it for the sake of the madness and randomness of it hehe. The dialogue to me was also very interesting.
As for the negative parts, yea, everyone above it said it all.