How do you masturbate?

I personally beat my dick as if it owed me money.

I hold it in the cold of night and tell it that everything is going to be okay.

Up close and personal on sleeping women.

I cooked it a steak dinner. It didn't eat it, but it was in charge of sauce. Needless to say, the sauce held an odd taste

With a woman's vagina or anus. Sometimes i use a metal probe.

Well I met her at the pub. Got chatting to her, we had a laugh. She gave me her number and we kept in regular contact. Arranged a date, had a meal which went well.

We had a second date at a restaurant. I dropped her off home where she leaned in and...

Put my dick in and out of takeaway noodles until my special sauce comes out

Call me old-fashioned, but I grasp the turgid truncheon with firm grip, and proceed to oscillate my hand at great speed until ejaculate is propelled in quantity from within.

This process is repeated until the protrusion no longer stands with vigor.

I smack mine around like the dirty whore it is.

I put IG on the table then I punch it till the sauce comes out then I cover it in sauce and proceed to beat it with a hammer

I just masterbate the normal way I might play with my nipples or my ass too depends on how fast I want it to go

Onahole for when Im not lazy.

Ok listen Child, first make sure your dick is erect and after you have concluded that it is in fact hard, use your writing hand to grasp the shaft then stroke it.

[color=white]:3[/color]

Flawless execution. No one will know except her 3 year old son who now has been traumatized seeing his only mother turn into a human jerky and shoved down a mans pants right before his very eyes.

With ambidexterity.

You have forgotten to advise the students to alternate between the left and right hands, when levels of physical exertion render the further exploitation of the oscillating appendage inefficient until rested for a short interval of time.


I my self am a left-handed operator when in default mode. Ambidextrous capability is present.

My name is 'PumpJack' for a reason. My arms do not tire.

What kind of Onahole? If you don't mind me asking.

First you need a cheese grater, energized electrical cord, and a 9 iron. Mix them together in the right way and you get world peace.