Wish Corruption V2

HOW TO PLAY
You make a wish and the person below corrupts that wish into something bad.
I.e Weeb 1: I wish I had wings so I could fly
Weeb 2: Granted, but they fall off midflight and you fall to your death.
Go.
I wish I could teleport.

You can only teleport yourself so you'll be naked wherever you land.

I wish for a successful fulfilling life.

You are incredibly successful, at making other people happy. Fulfilling their desires never achieving happiness of your own from your sacrifices to achieve success.

I wish... I would stop procrastinating.

You'd probably overwork yourself.

I wish I liked to wear dresses.

Granted, you are now a rapable trap.

I wish for nice headphones this Christmas.

Granted, but they short circuit when you wear them for the first time.
I wish Fakku would revert back to 2010-2011 mode.

Granted, but that specific design and mode becomes banned by the government. Jacob goes to jail and the site never recovers. Thank you for killing it, you selfish bastard. And putting a guy in jail. That's messed up too.

I wish I had a little birdie whose name is . . . Dom.

You feed it after midnight, even though the old man told you not to but you wouldn't listen. It grows into a 50 foot tall monster bird. Taking you in its talons, it flies off with you... Into the window of a skyscraper's freshly waxed window. You and your bird both pummel to your death. Though you survive, broken and hospitalized till the old man comes for what more you stated you would "get back to him" with... Being unable to pay he decides to take your soul and put it into the body of his next "pet bird".

Edit: The new bird was named Dom.

(That was fun, imagination going wild.)

I wish I was cool!

Granted, but you become so cool you get frozen into stasis. You're finally thawed out in the year 191919 and find out that Earth is a deserted wasteland. And the people that thawed you out? They aren't people. They're aliens and they're hungry. But you aren't becoming brunch without a fight. Your grab a laser knife and manage to stab one in the eye only to wake up and discover it was all dream. You went sleepwalking and stabbed Justin Beiber in the face. Good news is you're a pretty cool guy in the eyes of many. Bad news is you're now hold up in an abandoned barn surrounded by cops.

I wish I had some delicious pumpkin pie.

Granted but it becomes the only thing your able to eat from then onwards.

Wish I could talk to animals.

Granted, but you curse at a bear and it kills you.
I wish I could go to Chibi-Pa and meet Koko.

Granted, but every user on fakku Adblocks your ass.
I wish Solid would either get banned or die.

Granted but someone worse comes along (damn the would suck)
I wish i could time travel

Granted, but she dies of old age (again, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU SOLID)on your wedding.

I wish I was a gigalomaniac.

yes I wonder what the fuck is wrong with him
Ot: the madness make them kill you

Granted, but you become involved with the Metal Gear project and he Assasinates you.
I wish I had Battlefield 4 right now.

Granted but she hates you and you die sad and alone

I wish that I was cool

Granted, you become so cool you freeze yourself and die of hypothermia.
I wish I had 4 gtx titans.

You're mightly uncreative, you know that? You might want to go and stay here
ot: granted, You touch them all the wrong way, shorting them, instantly making them bricks.

I wish I my belly button could shoot Go-Gert. Why? I don't need a reason.

Granted but when you sleeping it goes off uncontrollably and you drown in go gert
Ot: I wish I could be invisible