For all you troubled guys (and gals)..

I never thought of that you might be on to something. You said i didn't give enough info I might be able to give a better example later (gotta rush kinda right now so ya)
Edit: ok back now. but the only example (offhand)is one time i was told one my friends something personal (don't remember what offhand)and when i talked to her the next day she said that when i sent it (it was a voice message) she said it sounded like i was on the verge of tears even though i wasn't

Honestly I don't understand what that example is supposed to tell me. Are you saying it was easy for you to tell her something personal over the phone instead of in person? I really don't get what that example meant.

I was joking. xD
Nice thread though.

+rep for you steph :)

Oh okay! Haha. Sorry. I can never tell when someone's joking/being sarcastic on the internet. It's terrible.

And thanks! I'm hoping that I'll help some people. :]



Thanks, Polter!

Haven't changed your mind joining out club?

lol i dont date anymore no girl where i live meet my standard...they gotta love anime and games. where i live...yaa....ghetto

Your one standard is that they have to love anime and games?

Why can't they simply accept that you love anime and games? Why do they have to love it, too?

I'm starting to hate girls. Or trying to get rid of them out of my system.

You shouldn't hate girls or anything so silly. It would be bad for you and everyone around you. It's much easier to just accept the fact that women are terrible, and not give it any more thought. I mean, PEOPLE are terrible, in general, but that's not really the topic at hand.

You're like the female equivilent of me, you like to give relationship advice to those who ask for it for free and you're asked often.

Maybe you should join the Virgins Club as a staff member as the female councelor and help out anyone who wants advice? If you're interested here's a link where you can join https://www.fakku.net/viewtopic.php?t=24924

Anyway, good luck on giving advice out and I hope your methods work and take the important things into consideration.

alright seeing I am in a community that seems that no one knows who I am in real life I will tell you my problems out loud. Unless of course someone tracks me down.

Here's the thing, I'm in love with a girl, and I'm kinda shy to say that I don't know how to confess to her. I hinted a few times and I think she is aware that I am hitting on her for example sending her multiple links to youtube videos and chatting with her on facebook. That's besides the point. I don't know how to seal the deal and I'm very afraid of doing it. I think this may be the universal truth for most people here, you like someone but you just can't do it. It will be good if you can type up an overall simulation of how to do it and instructions.

And I used a hell lot of courage to write this so please gimme something I can work with.

@Polter
I sent a message to Zeph about the club.

Why are you starting to hate girls? Unless you plan on playing for the other team (which is totally acceptable and I in no way intend to offend anyone who does), then how are you going to "get rid of them out of [your] system"? That's ridiculous.

@Dante1214
I agree with your first two sentences. Women as a whole are not terrible. If you want to look at that way, I could say men are equally terrible. But people in general can be terrible. It's not just a certain gender or race.

@ThorW
Hello fellow advice-giver. :] I PM'd Zeph about your suggestion.

Thank you! I will try to give the best advice I can.

@mwong04
I promise not to try and track you down. Lol.

First of all, sending her multiple links to youtube and chatting with her on facebook does not constitute as flirting or hitting on her. Please understand that. That isn't beside the point. It's a very good point that I needed to know. You are not letting her know that you like her by doing those two things. If those are the only things you've done, I doubt she knows you like her. Second of all, unless you two are the closest as friends can be and you two know everything about each other, I can't honestly believe that you love her. You may be attracted to her looks and her personality, but the way you've described it seems that it is simply that and not love.

"Sealing the deal" takes time. It's like a game. You need to know what the game is and how it's played to win.

You can't just tell her "I love you and I think we should go out". It'd freak the girl out and (hopefully) you know this. Get to know her more. Start by having casual conversations (in class if you are in highschool or college). Work your up by having longer conversations and deeper ones. This takes time. Not what you want to hear (or read), but it's true. Good relationships have a foundation of friendship that supports it. Become friends with the girl. You didn't describe your relationship with her so I can't really speculate on exactly what to do right now. If you reply with how your relationship is, I'll be able to give better "instructions".

I'm glad you posted! Reply and I will be able to type up much more! Even with this one reply, I hope it helped even a little. Thank you for posting!

Sounds nice. Sounds exactly like me. I'm that problem solver, relationship counselor, and advice giver of my friends as well. Even my sister comes to me for advice [which is mildly annoying].

How about just talking to talk?

Alright, here goes.

This is not really a problem that lies within my personality, or my inability to get girls. I frankly just don't know what the crap to do.

There is this girl that I like, and have liked for quite some time now. And I believe(Or want to believe at least) that she's interested in me to. The thing is, this girl is my friend and band-members, ex-girlfriend. The two of them broke up just a week ago, after having a rather messy relationship the last months. (they even managed to brake up and get back together 6 times in two months.)
Through this part of their relationship I always stood by her side, and I think that this is why she seems to like me, but I feel that if i should "make a move" on her right now I'd be betraying my friend for dating his ex, even tho he says that he doesn't give a rats ass about what she does anymore. And I'm also afraid that she will think that I stood by her just so that I could score with her should I do anything.

There is only one friend of mine who knows about this, and he does not approve, claiming that she's a psychotic bitch after hearing stories about her from my band-member (The girls ex). Other people have also told me that she really isn't that nice a girl. But I have never seen that side of her. Sure she got issues, but I've dated worse nutjobs than this.

I have no idea what the crap I should do. Should I go for it? Wait and see? Or give up?
Will I still have a chance with her if I wait, and would it make me a bad person taking advantage of that she's vulnerable right after a break up?

If I may be so rude to share my personal opinion on this case.

I'd just like to say that seeing as she broke up and got together 6 times, it would surprise me that she's really over the guy, as she keeps getting back together with him. I don't know if she's really ready to commit to someone (aside him which doesn't seem to work out). From what I've experienced from similar situations, and I don't say this to discourage you, but the position your in is the "safe position" for the girl. She has you to talk to when she feels down in the dumps and probably doesn't want that relationship compromised, as in getting into a relationship with you that might eventually possibly go bad (as any relationship could).

However this is just a scenario, the fact is before you should think about really making a move you should find out if she's really over the guy and is interested in someone else. Seeing as you have spent a lot of time with her you have a good vibe going on, which could benefit. However it also a case here of not trying to get stuck in the "friend zone".

However I'm just trying to help after all, but I guess I'll let Lost Q take it from here.

No worries, I'm happy to everyones opinions. Looking at a problem from different-angle thing you know.



This is a thought that has gone through my head several times, and I get equally confused each time. Because she does make moves on me, or at least I comprehend they are. Yet also she has told me straight to my face that she is "Glad that she can talk to me about this kind of things that she can't talk about with anyone else."

Women eh? -_-''

I'm writing quite a long response. So, if you wish, Chlor, stay on to read it.

Well what do you consider "these moves" to be? Like touching your hand, hugging, pecking the cheek, stroking your arm? Giving you compliments, all that stuff? Try giving some examples.

Well I'll try not to rain on your parade, once again, but I somewhat had a similar relationship like that with someone as well. She wasn't really seeing someone (hadn't had a boyfriend in ages) but I was "that guy she could take to", and of course she liked me... In that position. When I told her I liked her more then just any friend, well she rejected me telling me that she suspected it. However slowly afterwards things began going downhill. It was awkward for me to be around her, because I felt I was in her way. So eventually she met new girlpals and I basically let go of her, but she seemed to think I was no longer interested in her. (Although I had told her that I would give her some space.)

We're still friends but things never were the same again.

That's just something that happened to me, I feel bad for not really giving any CONSTRUCTIVE advice. Rather then that I'm just bringing you down with my bad experiences... Lol I suck.

@Chlor
Everything that Granth said in his first post is 100% possible or true. So, I'm only going to expand on what he said a small amount. You have to be sure that your friend and this girl are over each other. It's been a week and, as Granth said, I'd be surprised if she were really over the guy. If she isn't over the guy, she could use you to make your friend jealous. Girls do this often. It never works. It only creates more problems.

Also, just because she's able to talk to you about her problems and have you as a shoulder to cry on doesn't necessarily mean you are going to land in the "friend zone". Sure, it might happen, but it's not set in stone. It seems you know a lot of the possibilities of what she may think or what may happen. So, I can't really help you with that since I'm not a fortune teller.

You said that her reputation among your friends is that she is a nutjob? Or rather a "psychotic bitch". Depending on how reliable your friends are, do not completely go on the assumption that she's insane. You said you've seen the good side of her. Congratulations, but everyone has a good and bad side. The difference is how much either side is brought out. Dating worse nutjobs than her, does not mean that she isn't a nutjob. Think of it like you have one really moldy banana and another slightly moldy banana. Both are bad for you if you eat them, but the latter is the lesser of the two evils. Wouldn't you rather find a perfectly non-moldy banana? Basically, is she worth it?

What kind of moves does she make? Give me examples. By the way, women say the exact thing about men. Yes, we are just as confused about you most of the time. (Unless we have you wrapped around our finger which is awesome if you're the girl. :])

Bottom line: I'd wait. Be there for her. Stay friends with her. Give it time because it's only been a week. They are probably not over each other. Your friend saying he "doesn't give a rats ass" about her doesn't mean he doesn't care. I know guys who've said that and yet they still like the girl. They just say that to look like they don't care because they are pissed at the girl. That may not be the case, but it's a big possibility. She is vulnerable after a breakup, so you may be taking advantage of her if you do not wait. Doesn't really make you a bad person.. just makes you a person who goes for what they want and is in fear that the chance may not be there later on.