Funny Masturbating Story

Yup XD Didnt even know what it meant. But I liked it.

Been masturbating since a young age, first time rubbed my dick against bed back and forward for a while and felt good.


Started with dry cums, they were the best. No mess to clean up, jerked it all day, erry day

I don´t exactly remember which age I was at my first masturbating time.
I liked to rub it on plush toys. I think I did that almost everyday.

I remember for the longest time, I've wanted to get my hands on one of these to see if it felt good to use.



To this day, I still have yet to try it.

[font=segoe print bold]I had to google what it was, but lol
It's like a low-grade onahole.
Well, whatever floats your boat.

One time I was sitting at my aunt's house. She of course was on a trip and I was watching her dog. Feeling alone with little 'Bella' napping in my aunt's room I decided I would use the time to the best of my abilities. Grabbed some grape preservatives from the fridge and went to town.

As I was about to finish I closed my eyes and felt something rough on my grapes only to look down and see 'Bella' was awake. God damn dogs, never since have I masturbated in the same house as one without locking it in a room away from my genitalia.

OP fapped like a Scout XD

That is the cutest fucking thing ever.

...

[size=8]Do I find weird shit cute...? I need to go reassess my life..[/h]

I unfortunately don't have any funny masturbation stories. :/

I once tried this



It was alright at first, but then I started using more force. It was on that day that I realized how sharp and pointy melon seeds could be. Feels bad, man.

Dear lord what is the name of that.
OT: First time I nutted it was so intense that I felt dizzy. Had to drain my bath water out it was just everywhere.

Well my first masturbation "reminicing" was at around the healthy age of 11 years old. It was going on in my bathroom and I was feeling pretty confadint. In fact, so confadent that my arrogance blinded me and I forgot to put the bathroom mat down and in mid fap I slipped and hit my head on the sink. I was knocked out for a good time, I think. Because when I woke up I was semi-concious, bleeding from the forhead and worst of all... I was small again. Oooooo... Yeah not the greatest day ever. But when I remember it now it's only a funny memory. "chuckle chuckle" I was so naïve.

Semen Sprinkler J

Let's see....

Tried to insert a pop sickle in my vag when I was younger. COLD.
Tried to press my vag down flat on a scanner so I could "see what it looked like up close".
And speaking of things I've inserted, I have a huge amount...

pencils, pens, markers, handles of various things (combs, brushes, lint-rollers, razor, etc), cylindrical lotion bottles, various vegetables, remote control, slim phones... but uh, now I have a dildo and a boyfriend, so all is well.

I don't know why, but reading this gave me a bit of a boner.

I remember having a wank in a really hot bath that I blacked out and I was seeing shapes and colors.

the first time I masturbated it was a 3 day process, A friend had told me that it felt real good and I should try it.... the thing is he didn't tell me how. so for 3 nights I divoted my time to trying to figure out how to do it. I was 12 so I didn't think of going on the computer to figure out, but I did eventually did it, I thought it felt real good... to good in fact, so I thought I did something wrong and was going to die. I stayed up 3 hours crying silently waiting for my death. It never came.

A girl I know who was older than me taught me how to masturbate, and she became my master in the arts of sex/fapping..

She still checks up on me from time to time, if I've become good at it.

Thats really cute, lol.



I did that too, then just fingers, and now a vib.

For me i never knew what was goin on i would watch porn till pre-come and then stop...well one night i decided to keep going to see what else would happen so i watched some showtime porn scene with this women masturbating in the kitchen and near the climax of it she pours milk on herself and i came getting all over my sheets and passed out..

i can read about men masturbating all day and not get even remotely sexual active, but as soon as i see a female posting down about it, its there staring me in the face -.-, im not sure if i'm just healthy or i really need a female partner xD


OT: First time i actually ejaculated i panicked and thought that i lost some 'internal organ' of sorts, i spent the nest 10 minutes trying to put it all back in xD