Funny Masturbating Story
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I used to have a friend who would hang out at my house sometimes. One day, we were looking at porn on the Internet just to laugh at it and be goofy. Well, he tells me to go into another room so he can have some alone time. I had to go to the bathroom anyways and I thought he was joking, so I go, finish my business, and walk back out. Lo and behold, my friend is jerkin' it on the floor in front of my mom's computer, right there in my dining room. Shit was not cash, so I kicked him out of the house with his pants around his ankles.
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[size=10]
Well, many eons ago when I was about 14, I took one of those keep-your-drink-cold sticks
and stuck it up my vag.
You know, 'bating and all that.
Then, the next day or so, I put it back in the fridge.
(I'm not sure if I actually washed it off or anything lol)
Next thing I know, my bratty brother decided to go skating with his friends and takes a water bottle.
And he put that cold stick inside his drink.
Probably sounds stupid and somewhat malicious, but
I could barely keep myself from laughing my ass off.
[/h] Spoiler:
and stuck it up my vag.
You know, 'bating and all that.
Then, the next day or so, I put it back in the fridge.
(I'm not sure if I actually washed it off or anything lol)
Next thing I know, my bratty brother decided to go skating with his friends and takes a water bottle.
And he put that cold stick inside his drink.
Probably sounds stupid and somewhat malicious, but
I could barely keep myself from laughing my ass off.
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I couldn't figure out that you were supposed to rub your penis until something came out until I was 18, and I was watching porn since 5 years prior.
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Laid on my stomach with a hard-on one night and thought about that one chick in school with big tittes and a cute face. I didn't know what was going on but the rubbing felt good. The funniest part was; when I blew my first, went to the bathroom that night and thought I pissed myself. It was a mess, wasn't sure what it was exactly but it was white and glorious.
Googled it the next day and laughed my ass off.
Googled it the next day and laughed my ass off.
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DoktorM wrote...
So I'm jerking off like I usually do every night (Most likely to guro or something along those lines), and like most people I tend to lock all doors, shut off all lights etc etc. So I'm beating it off like normal and it's going great right?From the light of my monitor I see a small (Almost insignificantly thin) String/line In front of me. Now understand at this point I was about to bust a nut so I told myself it was nothing, but I felt compelled to look down to where this string ended (My dick). Next thing I know I'm staring at a Spider lowering itself above my dick (A good two inches above actually touching me). I fall off my chair (Completely naked ofc) grabbing a nearby comic book (Which happened to be Ultimate Spider-Man) and proceeding to beat the Spider to kingdom come. Now every time I beat off I have to check my ceiling before beginning.
lmfao this nearly killed me
Oh a funny masturbating story...well...I dont really have one...it's just I have really good hearing and as I was growing up my sister...who likes to take long showers....wasnt very quiet if you catch my drift damn mess every morning when I woke up...very nice dreams though
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Back when I was, I guess 10, whenever I felt like beating I would go to the bathroom, lock it, sit on a stool and proceed to wank. Keep in mind that there is a small window touching the ceiling, it is also sort of facing the neighborhood. Also it's on the first floor.
So anyways, as I was about to do it I heard some commotion outside. It sounded like a bunch of kids, not older than 12 or 13 probably. I proceeded not to care and started masturbating. As I was masturbating I could hear whispers outside the top window and whenever I stopped the whispering would stop. At this point I found out that these kids (who were on probably each others shoulders considering how high the window was) were watching a 10 year old masturbate.
So I did what any 10 year old boy would logically do. Stop, go outside to where they were, and shouted while furiously masturbating IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED TO SEE YOU PERVERTS?!
So anyways, as I was about to do it I heard some commotion outside. It sounded like a bunch of kids, not older than 12 or 13 probably. I proceeded not to care and started masturbating. As I was masturbating I could hear whispers outside the top window and whenever I stopped the whispering would stop. At this point I found out that these kids (who were on probably each others shoulders considering how high the window was) were watching a 10 year old masturbate.
So I did what any 10 year old boy would logically do. Stop, go outside to where they were, and shouted while furiously masturbating IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED TO SEE YOU PERVERTS?!
Spoiler: