How to distance yourself emotionally from someone

I agree with Waar for whats been said, you can't be friends with who you like, that is currently in a relationship, also it's very heartbreaking to hear that you have been dumped for another person.

I had that mentality, but Waar doesn't agree. After we talked about, I came to the conclusion that having my relationship > flirting with random boys.

Uh, no. I broke up with him before I dated anyone else... I'm specificly saying cheating is bad but that a girl will totally dump yo ass for someone who treats her better. Something you probably have experience with. Maybe thats why you're touchy about it...?



Thats right, you can only assume.



Hrmm... When did you start dating? It wouldn't of happened to of been around April? About the same time you sent me flirtatious messages? You know, once I said that people sent me PMs asking to talk but probably only because I was a girl? You certain you didn't sent me messages where we joked about it for a while?



Wow, classy.

Wait, what?

We started dating in November. :/

But you said you knew the husband before you left the boyfriend correct? You edged your bets, you had a safety net ready when you decided to dumb the first one. Trash. It's true, a lot of the things I've given advice about are related to things I have experienced, that's generally how advice should be given. You don't give advice on things you've never experienced right?





Looks like It's not much of an assumption; and before you have to ask I do trust her on this.



You thought I was being flirtatious? I simply told you I pm'ed the parties involved and made some jokes about it... What made you think I was flirting with you? YOU GOT ME, I AM SOOO ASHAMED. If there are any other fantasies you want to act out with me feel free to pm them so I can laugh.



It's the truth.

Don't worry, it was harmless.

But the last message did end with "I'm going to go find other people that claim to be a girl and go flirt with/hit on them (Don't remember which one he said)".

Also he insinuated that he likes anal. Not that he likes to give it, but he likes to recieve it. (Okay, he didn't actually say or hint that...)

Anyways, perhaps you and I, Waar, have different ideas of what flirting is then? Hrm? (Say yes).

I wasn't worried. He's the last person who would cheat on me in any way, shape, or form. I know this for an absolute fact.

I was just saying that we started dating in November, not April.

Well, I like flirting and if I were with someone who was okay with it, then I would flirt. However, Waar and I have talked about it and he's not at all comfortable with it, so I don't do it. Like I said, He > Flirting with random boys. Don't really see how that means we have different ideas of flirting, though. We have different views on flirting when it comes to being in a relationship, but not what flirting is.

[size=8]Can't we all just get along? [/h]

>April when messages were sent

Thats, fine. If you talked about it, nothing odd about that. I don't think you guys are doing anything different from what a lot of other couples do, but even married couples flirt with other people. Psychologist say that it is healthy for both the mind and your relaionship (seeing that other people want your partner will make you find them more attractive).

Flirting is harmless - it's like a game that says "Do you want to guess if I'm interested?" even if you know that the answer that you'll give that person is a definite "No, I'm not - but thanks for playing".

If someone tells your mom, "sorry ma'm, you have to be 21 to buy alcohol" when she is at the check out line, that is flirting - and it is harmless.

I looked back in my pm directory and found nothing in April, are you sure it was April, did you have a different name?

I will say that I don't believe I was flirting with you, a married woman living in Japan; you may have interpreted what I said as flirting but in April i was very happy with Stephanie.

Back on topic: I still say what you're suggesting is morally corrupt and a trash move. Your suggestion also does not answer the op's question. If you can't offer advice for the problem at hand anything you say will just cloud the issue.

Uh... what just happened here?



Actually this is very helpful. I've always tried to just block it out. Thanks



I believe that only works if you're actually in the relationship. And getting sick is something that just happens, not a goal which wouldn't actually work. But thanks for the thought.



Anyway, I've got another thing for you guys.

The girl went out with an ex-bf. What's your opinion about that? I certainly didn't not find it very tasteful.