Most epic thing you've ever said to others

Lol, sure it happened. When this happens in Anime I'm always like "Come on you've got be realistic!" And you saying this acutally happened. 'The fuck outta here.

hes not lieing, its rather easy to do you just need good peripheral vision

Talking to a random hot chick:

"Hey miss, if you're a game, I hope your not TEKKEN."

turns out i got her number XD

Back in high school, i cut the last couple classes of the day, got baked, and went to taco smell. this was back when they had super cheap bean burritos, so i ordered like five. i only ate three, so i put the other two in my front pants pockets. i went to meet up with my friends after school was out, and a girl who always flirted with me came over and hugged me. she said, "is that a burrito in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

then i pulled out the burrito.

and it was good.

One time i was talking to this person and i told them i had once punched a tiger.
Was cool.

Back then when I was walking with my friends, there was a house on fire. While my friends trying to help other citizen to put off the fire, I'm just walking away and said to my friends, "Cool guys don't look back at explosions and fire, they also walks in slow motion." Funnily, few minutes later a propane tank explodes and I was reflexive looking back at that house.

A friend of mine threw a triscuit at me while I was sleeping but I woke up right before it hit me and caught it and threw it back like a shuriken and it hit him right between the eyes. Then I fell back asleep.

My cousin and i start arguing about video games and stuff.

My Cousin was like: I'm totally gonna save you sorry ass from a Zombie Apocalypse.
And I was like: Bitch i start playing Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Galerians and shit when you were playing with your shitty Pokedex!!!

Me and all my cousins almost die for laughing so hard.

Me to one of my friends, "Fuck you. IM SO ASIAN, IM A NINJA!!!!"

During lunch in High School sitting in a cafeteria at our usual table w/ 4 friends & the group's idiot. Fed the idiot sum carrots to eat, but instead made projectiles out of them... having done his job in shooting them across the room at random ppl.
One casualty was a blonde right in the back of the head! xD Her boyfriend didn't like that & thought I was the one responsible (having a whole zip-lock of carrots in my hands). Wanting me to either step outside for a fight or just get beat like an f'in fatass, I instead responded, "While I may not have been responsible for the carrots, the only reason why I'm so fat is that every time I come over to fuk ur Mom she gives me some biscuits. & DAM those are sum gew~d biscuits!!!"
He had nothing to say & left back to his seat while everybody else @ the table was silent nearly 1min b4 just pulling an epic lol.

I mainly do one liners.
My friend called me anorexic and I said "I'm not anorexic, I'm just fasting for spiritual super powers."

Dude called me a fag

I punched him as hard as i can.

He staggered an tripped backwards.

I over towered him and said

"MOTHER FUCKER, GET UP. IMMA RIP U A NEW ASS HOLE."

Just yesterday, I went to go visit my brother for his birthday. Before heading down he asked me to bring his golf clubs that he left behind a few months ago. Anyway, as I finally meet my brother outside his apartment building he hands me the keys to his room and asks me to drop off the clubs there as he gets his car and pulls it up front. I agree and take the clubs up to his aparment room, loudly clacking the clubs every step of the way. As I open the door to the apartment, I notice at least 2 guys asleep in the living room across from me. Apparently, my brother's roommate had some friends over, drinking, the night before and they crashed in the living room. The noise I was making had obviously woken them up and I could tell that they were confused to see me. Rather than explaining anything, I instead walked on to my brother's bedroom whilst saying, "Don't mind me, just playing through...". After dropping off the clubs on my brother's bed, I went back out the way I came and did the Caddyshack "Nananana" as I closed the door behind me.