So my friend popped me some questions...

(Note: This is not a wedding proposal topic.)
(Warning: Contains content of sexual nature that may conflict with your morals.)

First, "the story":

So during the weekend I often hang at my friend's house. Usually there's a small group of people there, we play video games, watch movies, etc. One night, I was alone with my friend (with nobody else in the apartment) and we're just casually watching the TV. It was actually pretty late at night. He suddenly asked the question:

"Do you ever wish you could give yourself a blowjob?"

Before anyone starts to get any wishful fantasies, me and my friend are both male (Sorry). I tend to be pretty passive/shy in real life, so the conversation would be odd to follow word for word, and I pretty much ask "...Why?", and it moves very slowly. He's obviously being careful with his word choice, and I could tell he's obviously a little shy about the conversation too. He slowly ends up asking:

"Well, we could do it [blowjobs] to each other."

So basically my friend is trying to start a same-gender friend's with benefits situation with me. More specifically: blowjobs. I'm pretty much as straight as can be. I like cutsy loli type stuff and artwork - not embarrassed to say this at all on the Internet! Yay, Internet! Males, body hair, manly muscles, are 0% attractive to me and are like core-opposites. But, I have absolutely nothing wrong with bi/gay/etc people. In the conversation, he mentions he's straight very early on.

What happened in the story? We talked for little bit and I ended up the conversation shyly with: "I'd think about it maybe." After about 30 minutes I left since it was really late to begin with. It was very awkward...

This of course gave me plenty of time to think about the situation once I got back home. So what do I think about the situation? Well, I have some experience receiving blowjobs... and I am not embarrassed to say (on the Internet) that I love them. The concept of maybe even being able to receive them regularly definitely "flustered" me a bit when I thought about it which I'm embarrassed to say. But the concept of having to give a blowjob... to a guy... definitely creeps me out a little.

I have absolutely no moral issues with doing it. Obviously, I'd still want that we're doing it to kept secret (he mentioned this too). Then there's the issue of STDs - he had already told me he had none - and for those wondering I also have none. But then there's the question: has he done this before? Maybe he has STDs and he doesn't know. Maybe he knows he has STDs, but he's lying! I've known him for a long time, and I don't recall him ever having a real relationship with any women. The risk of catching an STD and being stuck with it the rest of my life definitely scared me.

So in short:
+++ Awesome sexual pleasure (potentially regularly) Yay!
--- Having to give another guy head (potentially regularly) Sadface :(
??? STDs :(


I was curious what everyone else felt about the situation, or maybe had some advice? Or maybe what would you do in a similar situation? I don't mind very critical criticism as long as it's honest!


Misc Issues I expect people may say:
-"YOU'RE HAVING SEX WITH A GUY, THAT MAKES YOU GAY!" - I'm sexually attracted to females (loli ;_;). I don't think doing this will change that... ... or will it? ;_; Oh noes shota! D:
-"You're a pervert!" - I'm actually not too worried about this one, since I'm on a huge hentai doujin board, but who knows? Not worried at all.
-"GAY!" - ;_;

If you know you like women, sucking a little cock wont change that. I mean shit, sexuality is a spectrum, not a cubby system.

But seriously if you just want to try it out of curiously then why not? Is it really such a big deal to be curious about these things? Because the answer is no, its not, and if you don't end up enjoying it it shouldn't be a big deal.

As for STDs, you can always used unlubricated condoms as a barrier for the shaft, and dental dams if you want to go for extra credit (balls and/or anus) they are usually pretty easy to come by online if you can't find them at a store. Also just get tested, not doing it should be a deal breaker for any new sexual partner.

Hey, if you're that curious, go for it. Anyone who really matters to you wouldn't say shit of it. So you suck a cock while claiming to be attracted solely to women. Best case scenario, you hate it, get out, and go eat some pussy. Worst case scenario, you like it and bump up a notch in the Kinsey scale, which isn't all that bad (think about it: you won't be as averted to gangbangs just because there are other guys there). Best of both worlds, in that case.

Parie has you covered on the STDs thing, since I got nothing. Oh, another thing: you don't have to say "on the internet" so often. We get it; you're online and chatting with people with similar tastes and perversions. It's not that big a deal.

I guess it would be a good idea to figure out what my friend exactly means by blowjob. o_O I was thinking of it in the very traditional fellatio sense.

If we're doing it solely for pleasure, no condoms would be best of course! I guess the safest would be an STD test... me getting an STD test sounds so foreign for some reason.



For me, in terms of sexuality, sucking cock while not enjoying it isn't the thing that would affect my sexuality actually - but rather enjoying getting a blow job from a guy might be the issue (even though I envision it with me just laying back with my eyes closed... with my mind on some other fantasy, oh god this is embarrassing). I mean this is how I'm envisioning it, but I'm realizing I'm making a lot of assumptions in my head of how things will turn out.

Gangbangs? In my current state of mind, where I want to keep all of this very secretive, they are currently out of the question! XD I assume I'm going to still hate having to give a blowjob, but the mechanic nature of receiving one kinda ignores the gender of the giver... or does it?

I always thought/assumed a girls lips would most likely be a bit softer? But maybe a guy would know how to do it better initially with less experience? In the long term I think experience is the main factor. If we start to do it regularly it should start to get pretty good I hope!

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Thanks for the input Parie and artcellrox! :D
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I also thought of an issue that could complicate things a lot: What if my friend is actually gay/bi? Does that change anything if he never tells me? Does it change anything if he does tell me? What if he wants to get into a real relationship? o_O His sexual orientation I don't think bothers me at all... but, I don't imagine I'd ever ever want to get into a real gay relationship since there's no attraction ... but then would that be fair for him? There's so many questions now.

In the back of my mind: Wait, if he's gay/bi, he could like both giving and receiving. I almost want to jokingly say "that's not fair!" since I assume the giving part is not going to be that fun for me. ;_; Hahaha. I'm sure the gay/yaoi fans are saying in the back of their mind "Maybe you'll like it!". XD

The worst part is I know he's waiting on some kind of response from me. I tried to make sure I wasn't acting like I was "weird-ed" out by the entire thing. Like we're still going to be friends of course regardless if I say yes or no to the entire thing - maybe I should directly tell him that actually... to get rid of some of the tension... and tell him I need more time to decide.

So just replace "suck a cock" to "getting blown by a guy". My main point still stands.

As for him possibly being gay/bi, it won't change much if you two just stay friends with benefits. Don't worry your head about what's sexually fair or not and just go with the flow. You main problem, if this happens, will be if he does start to get feelings for you/gets more attracted to you. Just because you're gonna turn bi from this whole deal doesn't mean you'll be attracted to him specifically.

Stop assuming the worst. Rather, stop assuming anything. The more you think, the more you're gonna worry about everything, including the trivial shit. Just keep the STD thing in mind, get tested (both of you), and relax and have fun. End of story.

Yeah you are really overthinking some of this, just relax (after the STD test that is) and discuss what you're current bounderies are with the other guy. If you can come to an agreement, awesome, if not then walk away. Seriously its that easy.

Let him know what you are and are not OK with, both it terms of sexual activity and how this will affect your relationship. If you can't do that with a partner then you shouldnt be getting involved with anyone.

Umm..to each his own? If you want to suck dicks that's your prerogative, the only issue here I see is the STD problem. Which isn't really an issue since there are tests for that. Communication is key in all....and any type of relationship. I must say I've never heard of a straight man wanting to receive blowjobs from another male, let alone even entertain the thought of wanting to suck on another mans dick. But once again, to each his own.

Flip a coin five times. Heads is you do it, and tails is you don't. Read the spoiler after you finish.

Nigga. . . what you're going through is called the ambivalent phase, don't worry, you'll get over it, do as you like and hey everyone's afraid of STIs but that doesn't really mean everyine has them (you're probably thinking that anyone who's had sexual relations with more than one person has them but well... it's probably true but it's because of that that you have to choose wisely)

Sucking off another guy and swallowing his man-gravy... I don't think so, leave it to women. They make it look better!

Everyone has thought of something along that lines with someone of the same sex or opposite sex depending on which side of the spectrum they lie on.

It's natural to be curious, and natural to never be 100% decided on it.

And hey, physical pleasure feels good regardless.

However, sex has a mental aspect to it as well. If you truly are just not that attracted to men then you obviously won't get that side of it.

Not to mention that it could cause you to be less aggressive in seeking out the comfort of the female variety because of the ease.

And it very well could be that your friend could not just want it to end as the ol Friends with Benefits which could very well cause problems with your friendship and can make for a very nasty situation very fast.

So you'd have to ask yourself several questions.

1. Do I feel like I could actual be attracted to this sort of thing and wish to go with it on the basis on seeing if it is a possibility?

2. If not, do I feel like it would be worth it to risk the friendship and the potential problems that could arise for said physical pleasure?

3. Do I trust my friend with this should I feel it is worth it to risk?

4. Do I feel like it would have to stay absolutely silent?

Depending on how you feel about the answers will probably clear things up fast for you.

Ask yourself do you want to try it? If you are worried if it might screw up a friendship talk it over and make decisions of where to draw a line if you try it. Nothing is wrong with same gender experimentation, try it out if you wish. It says you have a open mind and willing to try new thing where some will not go. If you are straight and you experiment a bit it does not make you gay. Though regular sex and start to gain some attraction to men I would say Bisexual.

Its up for you to decide, if you want to that is fine, if you do not want to that is fine as well. Everyone has their own comfort zones if you are completely unsure be honest and talk to him. But as the others in this thread have said think it over and ask yourself questions about this,and think things through.

Lol If you both clean it every day you dont need to worry about STD's everyone is over reactive about them, they really aren't as popular as they're made out (popular being the wrong word xD)
If you really want to try it... go for it, got nothing to lose and you might even gain a few tips xD

First, I can't help but laugh at the homophobia that's awkwardly hanging around, sorry, buy I call them as I see them. Anyway, experiment go do it, be safe, but try it. Don't concern yourself too much with questions on the issue of your sexuality. It's something that you are thinking about and have enough doubt to turn to your perverted community to get their council on the matter then you already have some idea of what you're ultimately going to do, but if not then try it. Hell I've done it before, then again I am bisexual, so such a thing isn't foreign to me and I may be prejudice. Either way do whatever you want and to hell with all of our collective opinions on here (unless they agree with you, then go that group!)

Soap and waster will not cure an STI, you need antibiotics or antivirals, and some of them cannot be cured. Please check your information before you pass it along. This is very important for everyone to know.

And yes, things like Herpes and HPV are routinely not checked for on tests, in fact you have to ask for them separately from the other STI tests. Why? Because herpes and HPV infections are so common the medical community just doesn't see a point in testing every time.

So please don't spread such misinformation, if anyone wants REAL info on STI's the CDC, and Planned Parenthood websites are an awesome place to start.

And no I'm not trying to shame anyone who has an STI, just trying to get some important info out there. An STI is no different from any other infection, so please get them treated.

First off, thanks everyone for your input. If I didn't reply to you directly, sorry, but I did read everything. I will try to reply to mostly everyone - there's a lot of shared points between posts though. Sorry if I miss any important points. Also, INCOMING HUGE POST.

Second, sorry about the slow responses from me. There's garbage going on in real life slowing me down.

Update on what's going on: I told my friend I needed more time to think it over, and that we're still going to be friends and all regardless of what happens. I should of most likely mentioned that if we are going to do anything, we'd have to talk about STD tests... I didn't have much time to talk to him. I don't think he thinks I'm avoiding him at all though.







Yeah, I am most likely over-thinking some of this stuff. I recognize coming to some sort of agreement what we are both comfortable with very early is definitely a good idea! Looks like I should start to look up information online on how STD tests are done, how long it takes, where to do it, and how expensive it is, etc. This STD stuff is making this friends with benefits thing more involved!



Even more research I have to do. -_- I appreciate you posting the stuff about STDs btw. I feel like there's a lot of misinformation being spread around sometimes. I know it might have something to do with the fact that in some countries STDs are rare, and others STDs are a lot more common. But making one mistake will make you catch it for the rest of your life (for a majority of them). ;_;



I was like: Wait a second, then it's just random - how could this help!?! What could the spoiler say that's so important to read afterwards... *clicks spoiler button* Oh... Oops... I ruined it... ;_;



But the more people a person has sex with, the greater the likelihood of they will catch STDs! :O



Yeah, I was thinking about this. Obviously, if I was with somebody I was sexually attracted to, there's a mental/visual type thing going on: one simple example the girl looking into your eyes as they do it and them just being attractive.

I'll just have to close my eyes and make up some fantasy to go with the physical pleasure.



Without a doubt. Finding a same-sex friends with benefits type of deal simplifies things greatly - if both sides are doing it for pleasure - and as long as the moral aspect is not a problem.

I feel to get the same sexual situation with a girl where you have sex regularly is a lot more difficult. You may not have sex at all, or rarely, until after marriage in some cases (after many tries of trying to find the right girl). Then if you actually start having sex early in the relationship, a question of how much the person gets around gets involved. Then the worry of using the other for simply sex. It's a lot more complicated! I'm pretty shy in real life - so that makes it a lot more difficult in terms of latching a relationship and being attractive to women in general (I find that women dislike the shy quality usually).

Then asking the girl about getting an STD test might be interpreted as a very rude thing. SO COMPLICATED!



1. (Note: I am assuming "this sort of thing" is referring to getting into a real relationship with a guy from the previous sentences.) Currently where I am right now, a real relationship with a guy is pretty much out of the question. I am just not attracted to men. It boggles my mind how women are even attracted to men!

2. I think, as Parie and The Other Guy mentioned, discussing the entire dealio upfront will avoid a lot of potential problems like this. I will most likely say upfront that I don't want to get into a real relationship, and this is simply for sexual pleasure. If from there the real issue he wants to start a relationship, despite saying I don't want to, we'd most likely stop doing it I guess.

3. This is a big issue actually! I somewhat trust him since I've known him a long time. The general secretive idea is a double-edged sword - I am assuming he doesn't want anyone to ever know about it either! Of course, if he wants to use event as an opportunity to come out of the closet I'm doomed! :O If he's straight, there's literally no risk! If he's bi, there's some risk - but he may not even be attracted to me even when he's bi.

4. Right now, absolute silence is important. It's not an issue with being labeled gay/bi, but rather what everyone else will do when they learn about it (maybe it is then?). In a perfect society where nobody stereotyped, there was no homophobia, etc this would not be an issue. Sadly, we do not live in a perfect world. :( I am starting to feel bad for gay/bi people now. ;_;



This is exactly how I feel.



I'm still waiting for somebody to post "DID THE BALLS TOUCH?" XD



Somebody with experience! :O I was going to ask some... off topic questions... but I think this may not be the time or the place looking at the current length of my post.


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Thanks again for the input everyone! :D
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I will most likely talk to my friend about... doing stuff. Of course talking about what we both comfortable with - both sexually and in terms of the relationship. I will have to see how he reacts to the STD test - since it is a hassle, but I guess it's a necessity.

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This part actually has me really curious. I knew some people were not going to see eye-to-eye with me.

*** BIG QUESTION TO ALL READERS *** :

Different situation: If you ("you", the reader, whoever is reading) could get free blow jobs from a same-gender person whenever you want for free, with no risk of anything (STDs, relationship, people knowing), wouldn't you take it? You do NOT have to pleasure the other person back at all.

I would obviously take it (it's the same situation I'm in with no risks or work!). Are there people that wouldn't take such a situation!?! Maybe I'm more perverted than I think. XD Obviously, it would be better (for non-gay/bi) if you could pick the gender of the person, but I would still take this without hesitation.

Maybe it goes a long way to explain how I am in my current situation.

If I could experience oral pleasure whenever I wanted, I would decline, and let the person know that I am not interested in the slightest, and I'd get very annoyed at them if they brought it up with me again. Then again, I'm terrified of the thought of having the same experience with my master, so take that as you will.

That

if your curious then go and try it. But first know to your self what is your objective for doing it. Good luck!!

And your point is?