So my friend popped me some questions...
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Also, I'm pretty sure your friend is gay and still is insecure about his sexuality. I highly doubt a straight man would propose this sort of situation. So, you have to keep that in mind - what if he develops feelings for you? Would you feel comfortable telling a future girlfriend that you let a man suck you off (and vice versa!) just because you were horny and desperate enough to agree to do so? I think that would be judged as pathetic at best.
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HappyDia01 wrote...
Also, I'm pretty sure your friend is gay and still is insecure about his sexuality. I highly doubt a straight man would propose this sort of situation. So, you have to keep that in mind - what if he develops feelings for you? Would you feel comfortable telling a future girlfriend that you let a man suck you off (and vice versa!) just because you were horny and desperate enough to agree to do so? I think that would be judged as pathetic at best.I dont see why its pathetic. Its an experiance he is considering checking out, if it doesnt work out so what, if it does then awesome. If a girl would judge a guy poorly for experimenting and trying new things then she might want to work on her point of view. Especially when girls can experiment and not only are people not bothered by it, most guys seem to find it pretty damn hot. Double stadards are pretty fail you guys.
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HappyDia01 wrote...
Also, I'm pretty sure your friend is gay and still is insecure about his sexuality. I highly doubt a straight man would propose this sort of situation. So, you have to keep that in mind - what if he develops feelings for you? Would you feel comfortable telling a future girlfriend that you let a man suck you off (and vice versa!) just because you were horny and desperate enough to agree to do so? I think that would be judged as pathetic at best.On the pathetic front... Girls will say what they will, so will guys, it's really not the end.of the world if they say it, it's just bad if you see yourself as pathetic. Then again I'm morally questionnaire at best, so I'm probably not an authority on such matters.
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I read everything! :O
This quote here pretty much sums up the entire issue very nicely. Some may say it's obvious, but I think it's important to point out despite that. As others have said, it's going to be really awkward no matter what. Feelings are going to be upturned and put into question. Even if both parties are completely on the same mindset (straight, purely for sexual pleasure, no STDs, kept secret) the concept of feelings still come into play.
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Morales are being talked about a lot. The entire idea of what I may be doing is being called "desperate" and "pathetic". This is cool, people are giving me their honest opinion of what they think of the concept. Yeah, hearing "Go for it! Do your own thing!" might be friendlier, but both are people's honest opinion. This is what I asked for! Yay!
Before I go any further, let me give you all an idea of my morals, I will simplify my entire philosophy to keep it extremely simple:
"If you're certain you're not hurting anyone, then you're fine!"
This is extremely overly simplified, and it doesn't work for everything (IT IS NOT SUPPOSE TO!), but it gives you the basic idea of my moral mindset for the sake of the discussion. But it works for a lot of stuff! For example I have completely no issues with gay/bi/straight sexual relationships (no rape). People can be into whatever hobbies they want (as long as it doesn't hurt others). You can dress yourself however you want (very unique hairstyles, clothing, cross-dressing, etc).
Obviously, under this mindset, my current situation (same-gender friend's with benefits) doesn't break this overly simplified moral code. I literally have no moral qualms at all about doing this.
Now the concept of being "pathetic", or what you may mean about it is a little fuzzy though. Under my simplified moral code, you can see that there's no moral issue. Is it pathetic because you have some moral issue (or some other issue with it)? Pathetic how exactly?
Sexual pleasure, in my mind, is a pretty much basic human desire that we're programmed with. Somewhat related to eating and food! But I guess food would be a more immediate survival programming, while sex would be for long term survival. I could see how I'm "cheating" the sexual desire's intended purpose (reproduction), for repeated sexual pleasure. But most gay/lesbian relationships would be the same. Even simple masturbation would fall under this! I guess it would be like eating very good tasting, non-nutritional, food!
(Random aside: Why isn't nutritional food more tasty than non-nutritional food? That sounds a lot more... "useful". I'll have to wiki taste-buds later. I'm sure there has to be some overly complicated reason for it.)
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If people are wondering what's exactly going on between me and my friend: Things are pretty much at a standstill. The first thing you might think when you hear this might be very heavy awkward air between us, and we are very uncertain about what we should do. I actually thought this was going to be the case... but... we've really been crazy busy! There's been a big event that we've been busy planning for, so that has us kind of side-tracked. Everyone is pretty exhausted! I purposely leave out the details for my own privacy I guess. We're pretty much at a "yeah, we can talk about it later" kind of setup though.
How do I feel about the entire idea right now? I was leaning towards to definitely setting up the entire friend's with benefits deal, but something happened that made me on the fence again...
... and this is going to be embarrassing as hell to say but ...
... I masturbated. o_o You know how after masturbating you suddenly close your 36263 browser tabs, the media player loaded with loli yuri hentai, and your random image viewer since you're completely uninterested in anything hentai related afterwards? Yeah. o_o The entire dealio seemed very... uninteresting after masturbating. I guess that's why they always say you should go food shopping after right after eating, not while you're hungry. I'm honestly not sure what's going to happen. I'll most likely TRY to mention this to my friend - since I feel it's important I guess? Really embarrassing, but really important? Oh, also, I mentioned the STD testing stuff for those wondering, but we didn't get time to really talk about it. I guess we'll see how things go...
Takerial wrote...
Feelings are always involved.This quote here pretty much sums up the entire issue very nicely. Some may say it's obvious, but I think it's important to point out despite that. As others have said, it's going to be really awkward no matter what. Feelings are going to be upturned and put into question. Even if both parties are completely on the same mindset (straight, purely for sexual pleasure, no STDs, kept secret) the concept of feelings still come into play.
---
Morales are being talked about a lot. The entire idea of what I may be doing is being called "desperate" and "pathetic". This is cool, people are giving me their honest opinion of what they think of the concept. Yeah, hearing "Go for it! Do your own thing!" might be friendlier, but both are people's honest opinion. This is what I asked for! Yay!
Before I go any further, let me give you all an idea of my morals, I will simplify my entire philosophy to keep it extremely simple:
"If you're certain you're not hurting anyone, then you're fine!"
This is extremely overly simplified, and it doesn't work for everything (IT IS NOT SUPPOSE TO!), but it gives you the basic idea of my moral mindset for the sake of the discussion. But it works for a lot of stuff! For example I have completely no issues with gay/bi/straight sexual relationships (no rape). People can be into whatever hobbies they want (as long as it doesn't hurt others). You can dress yourself however you want (very unique hairstyles, clothing, cross-dressing, etc).
Obviously, under this mindset, my current situation (same-gender friend's with benefits) doesn't break this overly simplified moral code. I literally have no moral qualms at all about doing this.
Now the concept of being "pathetic", or what you may mean about it is a little fuzzy though. Under my simplified moral code, you can see that there's no moral issue. Is it pathetic because you have some moral issue (or some other issue with it)? Pathetic how exactly?
Sexual pleasure, in my mind, is a pretty much basic human desire that we're programmed with. Somewhat related to eating and food! But I guess food would be a more immediate survival programming, while sex would be for long term survival. I could see how I'm "cheating" the sexual desire's intended purpose (reproduction), for repeated sexual pleasure. But most gay/lesbian relationships would be the same. Even simple masturbation would fall under this! I guess it would be like eating very good tasting, non-nutritional, food!
(Random aside: Why isn't nutritional food more tasty than non-nutritional food? That sounds a lot more... "useful". I'll have to wiki taste-buds later. I'm sure there has to be some overly complicated reason for it.)
---
If people are wondering what's exactly going on between me and my friend: Things are pretty much at a standstill. The first thing you might think when you hear this might be very heavy awkward air between us, and we are very uncertain about what we should do. I actually thought this was going to be the case... but... we've really been crazy busy! There's been a big event that we've been busy planning for, so that has us kind of side-tracked. Everyone is pretty exhausted! I purposely leave out the details for my own privacy I guess. We're pretty much at a "yeah, we can talk about it later" kind of setup though.
How do I feel about the entire idea right now? I was leaning towards to definitely setting up the entire friend's with benefits deal, but something happened that made me on the fence again...
... and this is going to be embarrassing as hell to say but ...
... I masturbated. o_o You know how after masturbating you suddenly close your 36263 browser tabs, the media player loaded with loli yuri hentai, and your random image viewer since you're completely uninterested in anything hentai related afterwards? Yeah. o_o The entire dealio seemed very... uninteresting after masturbating. I guess that's why they always say you should go food shopping after right after eating, not while you're hungry. I'm honestly not sure what's going to happen. I'll most likely TRY to mention this to my friend - since I feel it's important I guess? Really embarrassing, but really important? Oh, also, I mentioned the STD testing stuff for those wondering, but we didn't get time to really talk about it. I guess we'll see how things go...