Telling others your darkest secrets...

That's also what I thought at first, except that it included the literal snake.

I wrote it that way on purpose. I knew this would happen before I posted it. Makes it so much funnier. xD

Ah, gotcha.

Holy crow, I did the same thing (fapping in the car during a trip) when I was a youngster! Only difference was everyone else in the car was awake still, but it was nighttime, I was in the farthest-backseat of a minivan, and I was under a blanket. Then again, I'm not as ashamed of that as I probably should be, in fact I'm pretty proud of my stealthy fapping skillz (though I never repeated the experience afterwards).

Hmmm... I suppose something wouldn't be proud of is that I actively pursued a relationship with a girl who already had a boyfriend (he was in a different country the whole time, and I knew him pretty well) and had a very active sexual relationship for over a year before they even broke up.
Also had sexual interactions with her while my family was in the same room during Christmas. (she was wearing a skirt with no panties and sat on my *ahem* unzipped lap)

And I thought such things only happen in hentai...

In hentai it's considerably more fun. In reality it's nothing more than freezing in a position for 30 minutes until they leave. XD

As a NTR fan, I salute you, my man.

I'm not as cool as I claim to be...

I greatly dislike Islam and fear the government will arrest me for saying that because Canada is going insane, like Europe.
Everywhere they come from is a shit hole and I feel like I am the only one who sees letting them in as a bad idea.

I often find it difficult to have a fulfilling conversation with someone. I suck at thinking of topics of conversation, when I make jokes it sounds like I'm making scathing remarks and when I hear jokes I often respond seriously, realise I've fucked up and laugh it off pathetically.

Why is being a person so hard

No way, me too!

Though I mostly have conversations with people I know who share interests, so this makes life considerably easier.

I can bullshit with people in general, but only for short amounts of time because my knowledge of the things and stuff people care about amounts to shit, anyway.

Being a person is indeed difficult.

I fucked a llama.

Welp.

Can't 1UP that.

And I never called back.

Well the llama probably slept around anyway lol.

Good for you that we aren't allowed to judge people in this thread...
*cough*Monster*cough*

Kinda pointless to tell this here, since the main reason why I did it was to see the reaction on peoples' faces when I tell them.

I mean, I've heard of people fucking chickens and goats, so a llama wouldn't be that shocking, actually.

A 2-ton tilly rode me last night.