The sun is gonna turn me black!

Oh, when I was really young. The first time my lips got dry and I could peel off a bit of dead skin - I came out of my room crying because I thought my lips were falling off.

Well, I'll say this, I used to watch pokemon all the time as a kid. The psychic pokemon bent spoons with their minds, so I would grabs spoons and try to bend them while at lunch in elementary school.

Lol silly me.

When I was 7 years old, my friend introduced me to porn.

"Why are they drinking that white stuff?"
"Well DUH, they get pregnant in their bellies, how else are they supposed to have a baby?"

You know johnny is slang for condom, right? I now have this horrible image of someone using a condom to fap, reusing it every single time, and being terrified of doing permanent damage to it.


My toys used to scare the shit out of me when I was little. I was OK during the day, but when I was in bed at night, I'd avoid looking at them in case they pulled a strange expression back at me. I considered throwing them away but then realised how terrified I'd be if they reappeared in my room that night.

My mom said if i masturbated my dick would fall off... I didn't know what masturbating was, but i was constantly afraid that i would do something and it would fall off... After I learned what masturbating was, like 1 year after i started, i was like.... Still there...

Why would you buy toys that terrify you?

I had this deck of cards and I always wondered if they came to life at night as well... I was like "... What would they do?!". That, of course, was followed by many hours of thinking and half an hour of coloring[I stayed inside the lines, motherfuckers!].

Replace 'johny' with 'dick' and everything's solved.

Were your parents in the KKK?

when I was young I thought that a monster came out of the toilet after you flushed ( I think my bigger bro told me that) so every time after going to the restroom I would open the door, flush then run as fast as I can out of the bathroom and lock myself in my bedroom.
I am now a very fast runner.

Speaking of things you were scared of when you were a child. I used to watch my brother play video games on the PS1 and he played Resident Evil a lot. I think it was Resident Evil 2 I saw Licker's jump from the ceiling. I had this absolute fear of them when I saw them. For months I was terrified of going into a room where they had that drop ceiling. (The squares you could push up on) or if a ceiling looked kind of dingy (like a public restroom).

After I had finally gotten over that fear, my brother was kind of enough to show me a scene of Licker's jumping from a mirror.

Its almost the same way with me when I was younger. The only game I have ever played that has actually scared me was RE2, and for the longest time I always thought there was going to be some zombie behind a door or Id look through a crack in my closet door and I would see nothing but an eye.

I believe it was parasite eve, that scared the crap out of me.

I still think toys come to life when nobody is in the room.

I'm gonna' take a wild guess... You collect figures, don't you?

When I was kid, I thought there's a firefly inside a lamp.

My mother told me a panther had escaped from the zoo and was roaming around our neighborhood when i was young. presumably to encourage me to come home from the park before dark.

My sister had told me that there were little men in the big mirror in the bathroom that would take pictures of me naked when I got out of the shower so I had to be sure I put my towel on before I got out. She also told me that whenever I went to the bathroom it had to be quick, because otherwise the little fishmen with tridents would come up from the pipes and stab my butt.

I was convinced that there were little babies inside every street light and that's what made the colors change.

There's a carpet factory nearby my house except when I was little I read it as the car pet factory. I thought that you drove your car into it, like through a car wash, and the factory would mold your car into the shape of any pet you wanted. So, when you came out, your car could look like a giant metal kitty.

And then I fucked Kenjugs.
^ Thanks for that, random abusive mod.

At least I know SOMEBODY loves me.