Transgender delima

You can change ones organs into another, but that doesn't change a fact your still the gender your genes set even if it a mistake mentality and emotionally. You still need to tell people what up since not all dudes and or chicks are down with the swirl. Like you should tell men/woman you have AIDS/herp or the most deadliest of sexual transmitted diseases... KIDS.

Trickery isn't a good thing. You don't know if the other person will brush it off, slit their wrist or go on a raging gay bash, murder every trans on the street and kill other people. A one night stand isn't worth a horrid thing like killing and slicing a trannies balls off.

Well, they say ignorance is bliss. It's just in this case "ignorance" happens to be a penis.

Genes aren't as cut a dry as you illustrate. While physical sex organ(edit) gender may be decided by the last pair of chromosomes, it doesn't strictly define the chemical balance within the body, more specifically testosterone and estrogen, or the development of the body, ergo men looking more like women and women looking more like men. And this is ignoring hermaphrodites.

Also, it's a false equivalent to compare STD's, something that causes physical harm and even death, to a Sex change, a medical alteration of a body sex organs with no negative physical repercussions (for the partner) not found in every other (clean of) member of the human race.

I wouldn't expect someone to come out with that right away, but at the same time, it wouldn't be fair to not reveal something that important very far in the relationship. I dunno, maybe after the first or second date, and if you think things went well and would like to see them again, sure.

daym freaky, you be full of smex friendz

Legally speaking it is. I can't say if one gender is a product of xx/xy or oneself ideal of what he or she is. The xxy/xyy/xxx or any combo of intersex issues are a general statement of 'am i a guy or a gal'. Dabbing into this isn't something i want to do since opinions differ and the fucking facebook gender thing just confuzes me to the point i question if im male. I always wondered if my parents sew a vagina and i was born a dual wielding intersexual, but i wonder if my dad is my dad since he a homophobic pseudomale. Since they did that with all 'hermaphrodites'.

The AIDS thing wasn't a comparison of transsexual/ transgender, but a social point in the fact people need to know what they're doing. Should you know what doing on if there a chance of something like enraging someone to the point of beating the shit out of you after the fact you didn't tell them you're not what they thought? This fact could of save a bunch of people from being fag bashed in a back of a car or straight ass murdered. I seen the after effects of a drunken soldier and a dead transsexual hook up. Disclosure is healthy in this day and age. Too many people are killed and beaten because they didn't act wisely.

In the end im not saying someone who believes they're in the wrong body/gender isn't entitled to do what they believe or not to be with people in their 'true' self, but not everyone read in the same book or even in the same section of the library. You might find your self in the fiction department where the the ones who only read a bible and believe it a literal translation of law or believes in a literal description of 'moral' sexual conduct might find you enraging if he plowing you and find you had a penis or still do a might bit scary to his ego and sense of manliness. Im just saying being wise enough to hint your not what he think you are in his mind might be good for one's life and wellness. This story could of been about her friend in jail for killing the date.

@Rice-kun

I lived a life of just doing whatever i felt like doing. I fought my homosexual nature for most of my teen life. If they let me have sex with them im not going to denied myself of what i am. I still haven't been buttfucked... even i can't seem to enjoy anal on myself. Im weak. People who can take a dick in the ass are stronger then me.

I should add i wrote that to mess with kittie. I love messing with her. I would use her name but i can spell her version of it,.

tools use to make it easy, right?

You got me on terms of legality, but legality tends to over simplify things quite often... I'll concede this on grounds of legality towards physical.

The facebook thing is in consideration to the difference of, Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, Gender Expression, and I can't remember the last one. (Or at least, I think that's why.)

The reason people are enraged is the stigma's associated with homosexual behavior. If they had never known, post op, they would have never cared, quite a few would regard them as "new conquest" to brag to their friends about. It is because men sleeping with men is considered "shameful" that people become upset. It's a double standard the other way around (as long as they go both ways), but off topic.

In the end it kind of doesn't matter, unless the person outright asked, and was lied too. The role of responsibility kind of goes both ways. They may not have informed the partner of their previous sexual organ, but the partner didn't bother to ask when they clearly had a problem with that kind of thing. Like Lolikittie said, it is a courtesy too say so, in (imo) a none-serious relationship. And no, I don't consider reaching sex that serious, on a physical and trust level, yes, but it doesn't mean you intend to spend your life with the person, an even deeper trust level. Marriage involves tying your futures together. Though this is really something each individual should decide the magnitude of. But as such, someone who is serious about not sleeping with men should express, not expect, this to others. That sex if far more significant, in this regard, than others may view it. The whole "you can't expect the answers to be handed to you".

"Should you know what doing on if there a chance of something like enraging someone to the point of beating the shit out of you after the fact you didn't tell them you're not what they thought?"

Then students in classes should express what type of person they are in their personal time, what their motivation is for the class, how committed they are, what grade they are intending to aim for. I've been paired with, because schools stress learning how to deal (work alongside) with random strangers, like you would in a work environment, ignoring the motivations and obligations present in those environments... going off again.. Point being, I've been paired with lazy and inconsiderate people before, unwilling to listen and/or work, dragging the whole group down. They can afford this because they are not that serious, or they have money, or they may drop this class in a week or two. It's infuriating.

The same could be said towards work environments as well,

I could bring up more events or hypothetical events but I think I made my point, whatever it was again...

"This fact could of save a bunch of people from being fag bashed in a back of a car or straight ass murdered."

That sounds like poorly thought out decisions, but based on a desire and expectation of equality. Though if history is anything to go off of, it doesn't even need to become sexual for it to become violent. Simply "name/face basis" have been enough for some people to "go off". I wouldn't blame the transgendered but the intolerant assholes.

To your Christian guy examples, first, he should be wise enough to ask instead of refusing to accept the changing world around him, second, he's already having premarital sex, so he is already breaking a rule, though you did include the idea that he's nitpicking rules. But I really can't respect his religious belief when he's only choosing the ones that cater to his desires. As for his ego and "identity as a male", I can't respect ego, but I can respect his "desire" for his identity, as for what his male identity entails, probably not. Either way, it would still be his responsibility to express that he has this identity that can't justify such actions. If it's wrong for a transgender to assume the partner would be okay with it, isn't it equally wrong for the partner to assume everyone knows what he's thinking (what he is and isn't okay with)?

I do understand what your getting at, that people have to be careful, regardless of gender, of who they enter a sexual relationship with. It's a risk you take, trying to find companionship, quite often, you have to trow blind trust into others, out of fear of rejection, out of fear of loneliness and solitude. Relationships never have universal answers for everything, seeing as everyone is their own individual whose thoughts and feelings can't be read as if opening a book. Stigma's just make everything that much more complicated.

Yeah, but which tool? ...

oh that is a big question

[color=#993300]I would say before, cause when it really comes down do it, you have to be upfront and not lie

I have a friend who is trans, lets call him Bill. Bill was bio. a girl until he was 15, than he transitioned. When i met him in high school, it was during my first "family meeting," (support group exclusivly for LGBTQ kids)and i was like damn, who is that hot guy? and i found our from my sister that he was born a girl and i was like "damn, i really wish i had known that before." but than i realized that it is non of my damn buisness and i have litterly no right to know unless he had planned to be in a relation ship w me.

so ya, unless it gets serious, no disclosure.

Would have to completely agree with this.

Also if I was in that situation where I would get to the point that I find out they are transgender, most likely I wouldn't mind that much. Also I would not expect them to go through an operation based on the success of a relationship in which they could later find they had made the wrong decision. That decision should solely be made by the transgender in question.

Not sure if I'm the one who caused offense which is one of the most overrated emotions but I was making some jokes. If it was, I'd like to point out the jokes weren't about transgender people. If not, disregard this.

As for your second post, I think you make a conceptual mistake. I say «think» because I'm not sure what you mean. By «when you're transgendered, you identify as that gender» I think you are saying that when you are transgendered you identify as the gender you are now. So if you went from male to female, you identify as female.

If that's the case, there seems to be a conceptual problem simply because you seem to be following a basic male/female dualism which seems fishy since the psychology of gender identity is more complex than that.

I don't doubt that transgender people feel absolutely and completely like the gender they are now in. That is perfectly acceptable in their own minds but the problem is that social interactions are, by definition, outside your mind. In other words, the way you feel is or can be different than the way things are. So, even if one feels like a perfect female even though she happened to be born male, she should identify as transgender, not for her own purposes but for other people.

You could say this is stupid and bring up the ol' «don't care about what others thing» stuff but since we are social creatures and this is a social scenario it makes sense to follow social rules.

I bring my stone...


I think those types of revelation "I'm a transgender" should remain to the appreciation of the partner facing it -- there's no need to spread such information all around the world. Just be honest with the one involved. Lying would only bring problems and bitterness if not hatred.

Then the main matter I would see is when and how would you bring such information to the partner or potential partner ? I guess you may do it by feel, as for a lot of things in relationships.

Anyway if the relation breaks, then it can't be help : it wasn't the good one like for any people, transgender or not. Trying to force things to "work" would only lead to worsen or fake the exchanges.

What it boils down to, is that it's never anyone's call to make but the person's. It's very ignorant and self-important to think that someone has to advertise "what they are" for "other people's benefit" because "that's just society, man."

A woman is a woman. A man is a man. You wouldn't go around yelling at people that you have a penis, so why should anyone else?

No one ask or expect they would yell all around "I'm a transgender". No need, no purpose, no pertinence.

But if you prefer more to lick pussy than sucking on a penis, or the contrary too, at least it's basic politeness to inform the potential interested party about what goods you're actually proposing, in case you're hoping some exchange with benefit.

As for the operate ones, it's a bit delicate to pursue beyond relationship with benefit, without informing the partner that you can't make/bear her/his children, in case you would like to build a family. Sterility is not a light matter...

In my opinion, it's a matter of communication between only the relation interested/involved ones, but you mustn't lie even by omission (that is to say : delaying) if you have the slightest awareness of mutual respect. Or else, don't expect too much respect in return...


Transgenders should be rather proud of themselves too : it must take a lot of courage to go through such transformations.

Actually it seems to me we owe more respect toward homosexuals than transgenders in most of countries around the world. Hope it will improve step by step like it has for homosexuals.

Kinda in the realm of a Red Herring argument. Why should it matter if he doesn't go around yelling at people that he has a penis or if anybody else does it? He makes valid points. If you are trying to be in a romantic relationship with somebody it is only fair you tell them something like that. Some people do have legitimate reasons as to why they couldn't date somebody who was transgendered. To some it means that they can't have kids in any normal way and some may simply not like the idea. Relationships are a give and take, something that needs full and honest disclosure. Whether it be criminal history, health, likes, dislikes, ect. Hiding something big from any person you plan to be romantically involved with is wrong. Regardless of whether or not the person identifies as a woman or a man now.

I do think it is fine for transgendered people to do what they feel is right for their own body. But when engaging in a relationship with another person I feel it is only fair to let them know. Nothing good comes from keeping big secrets. Small secrets you may be able to get away with, but only because they barely matter either way.

I'm sorry but you're wrong. Again, human psychology and sexuality are far more complicated than just «A woman is a woman. A man is a man.» It's amazing how, in trying to be understanding, you are crass. There are also people who, sometimes like to be called men and other times like to be called women. What then?

And you are also wrong about advertising because you dodged my whole point which was that this a social context. And I'd like to point out at this stage that we are animals just like the rest of the creatures in this world. So whereas peacocks have their feathers and frogs have their croaks, we, or rather, females have skirts and heels whereas males have gym memberships. If you are in a social context in which you look for someone to have sex with/date/marry/play Uno it is important to let that person know.

Again, I wouldn't go around yelling I have a penis but in a social context I would go around yelling «I have a penis and I am straight». That way gays, for example, don't waste their time. Since, from a psychosexual point of view, transgender is a gender in itself, I don't see why it should be different for them.



My point is that it isn't even about the secret. It's about the act of finding partners. There are tons of people who specifically look for transgender people, there are people who live by an «anything goes» philosophy and there are people who specifically don't want transgender people.

If you decide to go out looking for a partner, why shouldn't you march under the colors of your true flag?

The other point tht she doesn't agree with is that I think being transgender is in itself a gender. Psychology is more complex than wee wees or vjays.

But the thing is that not all transgender people think about being transgender in that way. Indeed, they may be uncomfortable with people knowing they are transgender (which given the amount of discrimination against them in some areas, is understandable), because as you say Psychology is very complex. You cannot assume any 2 people think the same way as each other.

And so in that context, what セナリオ said is perfectly valid. Because if you want to have a good relationship, you have to consider how your partner will feel about you being a transgender. And in the current social view, it is more often seen as a 'big thing' than a 'small thing'. So it is right to say something, unless you are sure that your partner wouldn't give a damn.

Looking at your arguments about gender, I would go even further. The common view is that there are 2 genders: male and female. You would add a third: transgender. I would say that gender does not have a discreet value, but a continuous one. Rather than there being nice boxes for people to fit into, it is a continuous spectrum, with people scattered across it fairly evenly.

In fact, I wonder how much the 2 gender idea affects peoples view on their own gender, forcing them to slide towards the male or female side.