why do guys have to ask "how is your day"

just kinda wondering why do girls always enforce the guy has to ask about it not saying they shouldn't listen but why does a guy need to be the one asking it

here's my thing if someone wants to vent their day they can tell me about it and talk me ear off I have no problem doing it even for friends and family but I don't just assume someones feeling f**ed up and ask them I'm not even thinking about it in fact so why would I ask if I don't even think anything is wrong?

is it fear of the guys rejecting them by telling them something like "I don't wanna hear that crap"

basically I'm the type that if you wanna talk then talk but don't wait for me to ask cus I don't assume things and unless someone says something I automatically think everything is ok.
yet for some reason some girls bash me about that like its my fault I never listen when they don't even try to tell me anything! just constantly waiting for me to ask.

so why do guys always have to ask why can't a girl just talk to their guy themselves? do women lack backbone or something?
not trying to be rude just saying.

ok that kinda makes sense but how does that tie into the "if he doesn't ask he doesn't care" type thing that's what I'm trying to get at a guy forgetting or not thinking about that due to thinking of multiple other things automatically makes it as though he supposedly hates a girl and never listens when from the guys point of view the girl never asserts herself or makes any attempt at a vocal hint that they want to be heard till it gets to the point they feel neglected

If any guy HAS to ask because their girlfriend, or even any friend, is hinting to be asked, something is obviously wrong. If you want my opinion, no one should have to ask anything. If you really care about a person, you'll ask about their day from your own will. That's what I do.

It ultimately boils down to the politics and etiquette of a relationship. If you are emotionally invested in someone, it's important - not in the sense that it's a 'rule', or that you 'have to' - to show an active interest in the other person. This especially goes for the most mundane of things, because it accounts for the 'better' in the 'for better or worse'.

In other words, if you don't want to be there unless the other person specifically tells you it's necessary, which is the emotional and social equivalent of the 'bare minimum', the other person won't really know how much of yourself you're really willing to share.

"How was your day?" is a simple gesture that shows you care, that it doesn't take tears and hysterics for you to show you're interested in them, their welfare, and their happiness.

ok that gives me alittle more info but it still doesn't point out exactly how it makes the guy "not care" if he doesn't ask

a lot of people rely on me for a lot of things so unless someone notifys me I will remain completely unaware of them feeling hated or neglected till they start to lash out its not like I hate them I just don't know they wanted me to talk to them first and on that note why is it so hard for a girl to say "can we talk?"

1. It doesn't make the person assume their significant other "doesn't care"... at least, not at first. It's less about that extreme, and more about .. whether or not their significant other goes the extra step to display an active, unconditional interest in them.

It's only when the person starts to feel like you only pay attention to them when they're hysterical, or begging for your attention, that it makes them feel like you "don't care enough".

2. While that's completely rational and respectable, emotionally invested relationships require a little bit more of an active reciprocation for both parties to feel truly valued. It's not about being codependent or coddling, but making the effort to show you're emotionally and mentally present; that you're "paying attention", so to speak.

3. It's not "hard for a girl to ask to talk", that's a generalization about my sex that is grossly inaccurate. A lot of women -do- try to talk it out. There's a big stigma [thanks to the media] placed on emotionally open women - sometimes, when some of us -do- try to open up a dialogue, the other person may automatically assume they've entered the emotional equivalent of a mine-field.

That being said, a lot of us have resorted to passive aggression because we don't want to seem "needy" or "over-emotional". So instead of just opening up, we're schemey, and snide, and we hide our feelings until we're so upset that we start throwing things - thus fueling the "crazy bitch" stereotype. ***
[size=8]***This is not a generalization about "girls", or "women". This is a case-by-case generalization about the effects of feeling both emotionally neglected and insecure enough to resort to emotional warfare. Understand that this is not a sweeping statement to be taken as absolute fact, for all individuals, ever.[/h]

This all being considered, it's no one's sole responsibility to keep the relationship open and healthy. But going the extra foot-or-two and asking simple things like "How're you today?" or "What's new?" can open up a dialogue where neither party feels pressured to be anything less than calm and open.

It's one of those subtle relationship jedi tricks.

Hence why any "innocent obliviousness" will leave a bitter taste in the other person's mouth.

She hasn't ask this for awhile. My life is a puzzle of nothingness and photochemicals. I'm lucky my mind wasn't melted into shinji level banter yet.



You know my tastes baby... my last girlfriend was the uber queen of bitch and crazy... i almost died.

Current girlfriend doesn't give me any hints or ask me to ask how her day was. If she wants to talk about her day, she just does. Same with me. If she's being quiet, and obviously sad, I'll ask. Because you know something has happened during the day to make her upset. But then it's wading through the pretending everything is alright bollocks.

But yeah, it's as loli said. It shows you care, and are interested in their life, and wellbeing (especially if they seem down)

We don't. But it sure helps solidify the idea for your partner that you give a shit enough about them to ask them about their day.

I don't think any girl would care if a guy doesn't ask every day and some probably wouldn't care at all. But if she does then becomes rather in your face about your lack-of-asking, then she's either a paranoid bitch with insecurities or is just self-obsessed attention whore.

starting to make some sense and I agree with you on the part that its "no ones sole responsibility"(yea I guess a guy should ask every once in a while atleast bot not forcing the fker to do it everyday like he should try to obsess over the girl because well, forgive me for thinkin that might be a bit creepy) I just think people should have the ability to step up for themselves once in a while

btw I do say hello to people everyday and whenever someones behavior seems off I always ask "you ok?"
I hate the fact that some people(not just women mostly women yes but some guys too) pretend like nothings wrong fkin hide it and then burst out like someone slapped them in the face (so I guess maybe its my fault for not being the 1 in a billion telepathic guys that can read someones thoughts)

It's a conversation starter you inbred fuck. Anyone can ask it regardless of sex. IE: both women and men. lrn2socialize.

learn to take your own advice asshole

I got things to do and more and more fucking work piles up so I have to think of the best possible ways to get things done with good efficiency and minimal direct conflict

plus be glad im even this fucking nice now do you relies how I used to be
"you injured? someone trying to hurt you? no? THEN YOUR NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM THEN!"
I used to not even consider someones emotional state long as someone was breathing and no one was threating their life I didn't give a fuck what happened with them

next time learn to refrain from the insults you don't agree fine but don't start a fucking fight over a fucking question because IT IS ONLY A FUCKING QUESTION you oversensitive bitch

Please choke on a dick. Preferably mine <333

get a life bitch seems ironic your telling me to learn to socialize when you don't even know how to yourself

heres some advice look at lolikittie post note me and her aren't always on good terms but she is able to advocate herself without resorting to insults that's how to speak to others! grow up a bit then come back and talk to the big boys you fucking child. I never tolerate anyones bullshit start with me I will tell you to fuck off keep to the topic stay logical and talk properly

This is the internet son. I'm not obliged to treat you with respect. Grow a thicker skin.

same back at you don't expect me to respect you when you cant even do that much on your own

When did I ask you to treat me with respect? You are one slow motherfucker.

if your not on topic leave the fucking page

There's absolutely nothing obsessive or creepy with asking "How was your day?" whenever you see your significant other. You don't have to "worry" about them. It's about making it apparent that you give a damn - that you don't need to have signs and hysterics and shit to just... ask how their damn day was. It's not a big deal. It's a tiny thing that makes a huge difference. It's really not a lot to ask, at all.

As for people hiding their feelings and then lashing out, that's the other person's issue and not your responsibility to address.

My wife learned a long time ago that I will never initiate conversations like that without either having something interesting to say in return, or her asking directly for me to say something to her. She will just start talking about her day if she wishes to talk about her day and if I feel like I want to say something I will say it. If she wants me to spend time with her she will typically demand it (with me giving in about 50% of the time.)

I think it just has to deal with the personalities involved in the relationship. I'm typically a non-expressive person and hide my emotions for the most part and she just slowly got use to me behaving like that over time. It did take some time for her to do so though (years) and even to this day she can get frustrated about it.

But as long as we keep communication between each other, we solve any potential problems before they might become larger and enjoy series of compromises between what we want to do.