The Asian Way of Raising a Child

I read the article and watched a few segments of the Chua WarWitch enslaving her brood to become successful in their future. Her method of ensuring success only works if Mother Chua is in constant control of them, the second they're let loose upon the world, they cannot function as normal, healthy integrated members of society, nor can they think for themselves. That's one big flaw in her plan that she doesn't account for. I do like her involvement with her kids, but her execution is going to hurt her kids in the long run. They're efficient mindless drones at this point.

Also, I noticed that the Caucasian father didn't say one word during the tv segments or even spoke on camera. Hell, they didn't even ask for his name, they just showed him sitting down quietly with the rest of the family for dinner. No involvement from the father, that's healthy!

[font=Verdana][color=green]Yes..Asian is a very generic and dicey term if I ever saw one. However, either either, it's merely a term so let's not argue over it; as so happens in every other thread in existence.

However, I feel that it isn't a good way of bringing up a child. I mean, sure, I'd like my child to play the piano and violin etc etc but I wouldn't force them to. It's a draconian way of thinking; one of which will never bring true success to a nation.

lol wat no one even talked about japanese in the first place


No u. People are having an intelligent discussion here and you're the only one who posted something out of context. Being a Japanese or Pakistani or shit doesn't matter, we're talking about something else.
You didn't really read the article, did you?



OT:
Now, some people here should not forget that strictness =/= discipline. It's crucial to teach your children about obligations, responsibility, and the importance of academic achievements from early age. But that doesn't mean you have to limit their freedom to interact with their environment and learn new things from it. When they learned something negative like the F word it is the parents' duty to straighten them out and explain why that kind of word is inappropriate to use in public.

This is where I see Western parents are failing at. When their children got bad grades or developed negative attitudes they always blame outside influence like TV or friends or video games. Children are naive and stupid, and they will absorb anything like a sponge, both good and bad things. This is when parents should act as a filter by spending some of their time for them and teach them personally, something a lot of Western parents nowadays don't do.

Asian parents see this and they don't want to make the same mistake. They raise their kids with iron hand from the start, and keep them in a golden cage. Sure, they excel at academic/sport/music, they're well behaved, but whether they could put all the cognitive skills they've learned into practice in society is another story. In the end they made a fatal mistake by not teaching their children the most important thing: real life experience.

My point is, Western parents are being too loose, while Eastern parents are being too strict. Western kids tend to end up more open-minded and sociable although they may be lacking in ethics and knowledge, while Eastern kids are the opposite.
Please note that this doesn't apply to all Western and Asian, I'm just talking about stereotypes, and some of these things I wrote is based on opinion.

You've never been to a proper, high-class boarding school, have you?
If you believe all the kids nowadays going to universities are the "elite", you're deluded.

Going to, the next fall semester. It's one of the best universities in a major European country, if you consider this "high-class".

I have never said that someone is elite because he goes to an university, how did you deduct this? It's just that your definition of "elitism" can apply to any technician with some social skills.

i am NOT a perfect student. my grades are average. My parents have no complaints they just hope (not expect) some improvement. i am Asian. i know only one person who has the stereotypical Asian parents. He says he would flick off his parents when he went off to college and tell them "I did this by myself!" He has those game, computer restrictions and such and gets grounded for getting a B on a test. But he's happy when he has friends. i think he might commit suicide one day... i just hope i can stop him.

That is ridiculous.I know plenty of asian's in my hood who are the complete opposite.They spend most of there time hanging out with friends and on the street.

That article made me feel sick... but I saw more freedom in there compared to the way I lived under my stupid parent' rules.

It was nothing but terror for me, no freedom, never knowing how kids have fun times while I was caged, not allowed to do anything, I failed at studying too, so I suffered for that a lot as well.


Anyway;

OT: I think that the "Asian" way of education is just terrible, I really have no idea whether they work or not, but for me, its like keeping a prisoner at home, and my mom is way more strict than what's on that article. Which is just wrong to me, forcing is a very bad method...

I rebelled, obviously. And I doubt the expected results came out. Her efforts to force me and do all those mean things to raise me was never fruitful, what it only made was a demon who hated the whole family very badly.

Lol, isn't this a necro?

i'm korean and i hate academics. it took me 20 years to find it out.

if i had amy chua as my mother, i would've either

1. killed her
2. ended up committing suicide
3. do whatever I want to do by running away.

good thing my mom gave up a year ago, lolz

Funny, I'm a Chinese and i broke all the "rules" that Chinese parents made. I play on my PSP/PS3/PC until 3am in the morning, i failed a couple of course (im not too proud of that though), i attended sleepovers, i never get A (once again not too proud), chose whatever i wanted to do.
I'm thinking this article is written by a journalist without any proper insight on the differences of each parents. 99% of the article is, as one would say, complete bullshit.

Lol, that was a one-sided article, it didn't even tackled how the other asian parents take care of their child. I'm Filipino and FYI our families are conservative when it comes to media and other things that influence our daily lives. My parents make strict rules but still I'm able to "sneak" out of it and when I get lucky they even let me pass XD

So that article is a one-sided, bullcrap one.

The article has valid and invalid points. I believe that a combination of the Chinese and Western methods is effective. My parents told me to do my best but they also did not take any shit from me either. I did not have to be the top of the class but if i slacked off and didn't try they would whoop my ass. Stern parenting with a little bit of leeway has made me the man i am today.

The fact that she is trying to make a name for herself through her kids is proof enough of just how horrible she is.

...what?

Of COURSE it was one-sided, it was one random person expressing their personal opinion. Why would you assume it should be even-handed? You don't have to present an argument against your opinion regarding everything in the world you have an opinion on at all times...

Anyway, Amy Chua ended up taking the talk show circuit and she explained to numerous hosts that she disagreed with the "tiger mom" approach eventually after her book was criticized. I don't know where the date of this article squares up with her book release and don't really care to look but...

Ultimately, like almost everything in life, differing methods have differing benefits and drawbacks. This different way of raising your kids definitely has some advantages, but by that same note has some fairly obviously drawbacks too. It's hard to just describe one method as superior than the other.

This is the most BS article I've read in some time.

Yes, generally Asian parents take a serious stance when it comes to how well their kids do in school. However, the article makes it sound as if the majority of Chinese parents are horrible academic Nazis that demoralize their children with no second thoughts.

A majority of my Asian classmates from high school did indeed take those rigorous schedules of four to five AP classes and played instruments. However, their parents are in no way like how this narrow-minded article portrays them.

We were allowed to hangout and do activities every weekend. As for chilling on the week days, it just couldn't happen when one is taking so many AP classes and doing after school activities...we didn't have time to do it whether it was allowed or not. However, as long as we kept our grades up and maintained a good status, there was a lot more freedom in our lives than this bs article says.

The #1 student in my class, who now goes to Harvard, played StarCraft with a lot of my other classmates on the weekends quite frequently. I remember everyone talking about various TV shows through Facebook, such as discussing/laughing about the episodes of 'The Office' that came out every week. Chinese kids generally aren't allowed to play video games/watch TV?...complete horse crap.

The part where Chinese parents seem to have no problem degrading their children if the standards aren't met, baloney as well. It definitely will result in a stern talk and maybe even some shouting. However, verbally abusing the child himself/herself was not a common thing. Chinese parents call their kids garbage if they are disappointed?...I don't even want to comment on this due to the idiocy in this statement.

"If a Chinese child gets a B—which would never happen—there would first be a screaming, hair-tearing explosion." Err...yeaah, ok. *rolls eyes*

Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, "Hey fatty—lose some weight." Well, technically anyone can say that to their daughters. Also, Chinese parents say this no more than any other parent would say it to their children. (Basically, near zero)

Ok...I could on and on about this, but it'll be too long.
Point - Article is the most narrow-minded material I've seen in some time.
- Follows the foolish Chinese parents stereotype and gives it steroids.
- Most Chinese parents, at least from my observations, are not as
mean/harsh to their children as this article portrays them as.

Yes, there are definitely parents that follow the description of this article almost exactly. However, a MAJORITY do not. Academics is extremely important to the Chinese, yes. However, the methods/restrictions put into place in order to achieve great grades are nowhere as harsh as this little Amy Chua says.

The main problem with this piece of writing is that it tries to represent the entire circle of Chinese parents when it doesn't. It contains statements that, when read, seems to claim that every single mother and father of this ethnicity is a certain way, which is impossible.

I almost feel sorry for this Amy Chua. Her parents must have been absolutely horrid in order for her to conjure up this piece of cow dung. If I read this without knowing the readers name, I would've assumed it was written by some idiot of non-Asian descent claiming they knew everything about how Asian culture works. Oh and...is this really from Yale?! I'm quite disappointed.

I'm Asian so I didn't bother reading the article. But I think that the way of education for Asians aren't much different from other countries. It all begins on who your parents are and how they put their self upon you and how they raise you. Because their the ones who build you up from the very beginning. They are the ones who gave you the attitudes personalities etc.. that you have now. So all in all anyone can have a good education Asian or not, it all depends on how the parents raised you in the first place.

For anybody here, try looking up or studying a bit on the Native American stlye of child rearing, pre-contact. You'll discover some amazing traits that fit well with the modern understanding of child and human psychology.

Just a quick question, in a lot of animes kids can just live by themselves and go to school, is this an accurate representation of how some asian parents let thier kids live?