[Locked] [Community Project V2] Shadowblaze Chronicles

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Yanker I read hentai for plot
LoliCreamPie wrote...
Yanker wrote...
Chapter 8 – To Defeat a God

Spoiler:

Elgaraf, Masayoshi and Marie reached Aiful just as the sun was sinking below the horizon. It was a small, cosy town, consisting of neatly lined stone buildings along cobbled pavements. Orange street lamps dotted the roads, casting a fiery glow on the ground.

“Finally,” Marie huffed. “Took us long enough.”

Masayoshi looked up towards the sky. “It’s getting dark. Maybe we should turn in for the night and unwind tomorrow?”

“That’s a good idea,” Marie nodded. “But where are the inns? Should we ask someone-”

“How about there?” Elgaraf interjected. He pointed a black finger towards the centre of town, where an alarmingly large number of men were headed.

Masayoshi followed his gaze towards the two storey building. “How do you know that’s an inn?”

“Kid, there are only three places working men head when night falls. Home, taverns or a brothel. And I’m pretty sure that’s not a brothel, since there’s a giant picture of a beer mug on the door.”

Without waiting for a response, the drow headed off towards the building.

***

They ended up bargaining a price of one gold piece for the night. Elgaraf had already rested during the day, so he went downstairs to look around the tavern while Masayoshi and Marie rested in the rooms upstairs.

The room was filled with the deafening clamour of rowdy men, relaxing after a long day. The putrid stench of alcohol and sweat attacked Elgaraf’s nostrils as he pulled up a seat in front of the bartender.

The scruffy, bearded man eyed up the drow while polishing a grimy mug.

“Don’t see many of you folk around here,” he grunted. “What can I do for you?”

Elgaraf said the first thing on his mind.

“I want to get stronger,” he said.

The recent events that had befallen his party were fresh on his mind. He had left his home a long ago, searching for worthy opponents. For a long time, he had found none. But recently in the space of a few weeks, he had not only been overpowered by shadowmancers, time manipulators and arcane masters, he had even lost to a fellow warrior. He had always prided himself on being able to duel anyone one on one, but now he felt like he was but a mere novice in the world of legendary fighters.

He needed to become stronger. He didn’t want to lose to anyone in physical combat. If someone used magic, he needed to learn how to nullify it, or strike before the spell could be cast.

He was weak.

“I want to become the world’s strongest,” he said again.

The bartender looked him in the eye, a small smile playing about his lips.

“I’ve actually heard of an intriguing rumour you might be interested in,” he said.

Elgaraf waited for him to continue, but the bartender said nothing more. Instead, he continued to polish his mug, a suggestive glint in his eye.

The dark elf realized immediately.

“Hit me up with a glass of ale then,” he said.

Before Elgaraf could finish speaking, the clean mug had been placed before him, filled to the brim with frothing golden liquid. He brought the mug to his lips and took a deep swig.

“So, tell me more of this rumour,” Elgaraf said, leaning in. He didn’t want to lose any details in this clamour.

“Very well.”

The bartender glanced around to make sure no one was listening. Then, he looked Elgaraf in the eye and spoke.

“You’ve heard of Vastenroark and the Empress, right?”

Elgaraf nodded. He had heard around Arden and Masayoshi about the massive power struggle going on. After all, almost everyone had heard about it; demons did not simply run rampant through the lands. There was clearly a great force at play.

“It seems like Vastenroark is trying to reach the final stage of the arcane arts, and gain invulnerability to all. Only the Empress has ever achieved this – however, there is rumour of another who also reached this stage – not through mastering the arcane arts, but the blade.”

Elgaraf’s ears instantly twitched.

“Mastery of the blade?”

The bartender nodded.

“Legend says that she transcended simple synchronization with her sword. They became one – a technique that could defeat anything the master desired – whether it be magic, physical, or ranged. Her technique was too powerful for her to remain where she was, and she was forced into a hermit life.”

“What do you mean, a technique which could defeat magic?” Elgaraf asked. “How do you cut through something you can’t see?”

The bartender shrugged. “No idea, lad. I’m only repeating what a traveller once told me. But you know what he said? He said that he spotted her in the far north, the mountains where the snow falls every day and the ethereal lights shine in the sky at night.”

“That far north?” Elgaraf said.

He had heard legends of this place – an area of the continent so far up and so high up that few had ever been. The mountains were dangerous and unexplored, and every night there were mysterious multi-coloured lights that lined the sky – nicknamed the Aurora.

He could feel his blood racing in his veins.

“A swordswoman who could defeat anything,” he breathed. “And she roams those mountains?”

“Take it with a grain of salt,” the bartender said. “Don’t go charging off, the traveller could have just been delirious.”

Those words fell upon deaf words. Elgaraf stared the last drops of ale in his mug, already thinking.

He needed to get stronger.

The world was changing – and depending on what happened in the next few weeks or months, it could be for the worse. Elgaraf didn’t personally care too much for its people, but the thought of demons raiding the lands and ravaging it of all life was too much. The world was beautiful, and he wanted to keep it that way.

Pursuing this legend could well be killing two birds with one stone – he would be one step closer to becoming the strongest in the land. Perhaps with this knowledge and technique he would be able to foil Vastenroark’s plans for the world.

“The far north, eh,” he muttered.

He knew vaguely where to go. It was said that if you kept walking in any direction, you would eventually encounter the ocean. If you kept sailing, then you would fall off the waterfalls at the edge of the world.

But if you kept going north, you would reach the unpassable mountains – mountains so high up that their tips were lost in the clouds. A stairway to the heavens.

You couldn’t miss them – just head north, and you would happen upon them, no matter what.

“Thank you,” Elgaraf said, handing some coins to the bartender. “You’ve been a great help.”

“You’re not seriously considering going there, are you?” he asked.

Elgaraf didn’t respond.

“There’s horrors you’d never imagine in your wildest dreams,” he continued. “Furry giants which stand three times your height, titans who quake the earth when they sleep, dragons of pure ice…”

The drow stood up. His heart was racing – he hadn’t felt this thrilled in a long time. He would have to leave a note to Masayoshi and Marie, explaining where he had gone. He would buy a horse and stock up quickly, and leave straight away so they could not find him.

Elgaraf would miss Masayoshi. The boy had grown on him, and he was saddened he would not be able to finish training him. However, he couldn’t say the same for Marie – that woman didn’t mean much to him.

“Good luck,” the bartender said. “I can see you’re not going to move from your path.”

Elgaraf nodded in acknowledgement and headed upstairs, away from the ear-shattering noise. By the Masayoshi and Marie woke, Elgaraf would already be well on his journey to the frozen north. Without two amateurs to slow him down, progress would be tremendous.

Carefully writing a farewell message on a scrap of parchment, he left it under Masayoshi’s door and stood back.

“See ya, kid,” he said. “We’ll definitely meet again. This time, I won’t lose to anyone – not even a God.”

With that, Elgaraf Moonshade parted ways with Masayoshi and Marie.


Wow. While not much SEEMED to happen, it advanced the story by a TON. With so little text, you advanced the story several chapters in one. That was very good. Also, you gave us all more insight into Elgaraf's personality. I can't wait to see what he'll do when he meets the ice dragon.

It's pretty much set in stone at this point that Elgaraf isn't an arcane arts user, but is combat arts reliant, and will stick to his path, even if it's more difficult. You've shown he's aiming to become stronger, so strong that not even a god would stand against him.

Though, I won't spoil anything about the 'gods' of Erakuni.

Also, there are just a few typos I'd appreciate if they were fixed. 'Vastenroark', is actually 'Vastenarok'. No big deal though if you don't have time. There are other typos, but I understand you wrote this fairly quickly, so I don't really mind those.

As for the sad parts of this chapter - it's saddening that Elgaraf will part from the party this early on, but I do look forward to how much he's changed and improved when he meets Masayoshi next.

Despite the two slowing Elgaraf down, he did a lot for Marie and Masayoshi. Their relationship isn't the best, even just as acquaintances, so Elgaraf was a good moderator, a very good third party to step in when problems became too large or blown out of proportion.

This loss will surely affect their journey, I wonder how they'll make do? Though they're getting a (temporary) third party member during chapter 10, the majority of their journey for quite a while will be just the two of them.

Excellent work, and a very bold way to advance the story. I am pleased to say the only problems I had with this chapter was the minor typos, and it fits well into the story, especially since you're revealing more about what the common populace knows about what's going on.

Anyway, I'll let CH know it's his turn to write, and I hope to see more from you after you're on break from uni.

Your chapters are my favorite to read (even more so than my own). That's not to say other peoples' chapters are bad, most are pretty good, but none of us except you have been able to advance the story so well with a smaller chapter.



Thanks, it's good to know people enjoy reading my stuff. I've fixed up the Vastenarok typos already (in the original post, not the quoted ones).

In terms of the plot, I just really felt confused when all these new characters were introduced and everything went chaotic, so I parted Elgaraf from the party to slow down the pace of his personal story a little. I'll probably diverge from everyone else at this point, maybe crossing paths with one or two people, but above all I just want to focus on Elgaraf's 'lone wolf,' "I want to be the best" nature. However, events that happen elsewhere could still impact his journey.
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Here's a character profile, I'll introduce them in my introductory chapter:

Name: Vicrosta Mandol

Gender: Male/Female(Changes)

Race: Azismian/Wevirian/Revomian/(Mixed)

Natural Hair color: Snowy White, only seen during the shift between genders

Natural Skin color: Ghostly Pale, only seen during the shift between genders

Natural Eye color: Golden Topaz, only seen during the shift between genders

Artificial Hair Color: Black in male form, Auburn in female form. Looks perfectly natural, as they are a part of their transformation.

Artificial Skin Color: Oriental in male form, African in female form. Looks perfectly natural, as they are a part of their transformation.

Artificial Eye Color: Brown in male form, Brown in female form. Looks perfectly natural, as they are a part of their transformation.

Height: 5'7"

Weight: 147 LBS

Combat Arts Rank: +C - Average, has decent hand-to-hand combat skills

Arcane Arts Rank: -A - Master, but cannot advance due to unique circumstances of mastery.

Danger Rating: +B - High risk, don't engage in combat unless you're 100% certain.

Preferred Weapons/Tools: In male form, prefers blunt weapons and steel knuckles so they can mug more effectively while trying not to kill their victims if possible. In female form, prefers weapons that they can coat their toxins on, and use as throwing weapons. For tools, they always carry around a compass that spins in all directions, never stopping at one point.

Azismian Abilities: Has two souls, and can shape-shift into a man or a woman of completely different appearances. This ability can only be used on the night of a new moon, however. Cannot bind their soul to an animal like normal Azismians, because their twin souls are already bound to each other, and cannot be separated unlike normal souls.

Wevirian Abilities: In male form, can make a sub-dermal graphene armor under his skin, mere molecules thick. It can stop any projectiles, and can block most offensive spells aside from high level ones. In female form, can kill any non-immortal she touches with her fingertips, by a time-released toxin. There is no antitoxin for this toxin yet.

Revomian Abilities: In male form, has natural arcane mastery over fire, earth, and dark elements. In female form, has natural arcane mastery over wind, water, and divine elements. Because of being a natural arcane master of all elements only during their transformation, they are immortal, though they are unable to achieve invulnerability.

Personal History: As a young child, their ability to change into a male or female made them an outcast to their village, and they were exiled at the tender age of ten. They eventually turned to a life of crime, using their feminine wiles to cheat men out of money where she could, and using their abilities in their male form to mug hapless fools who wander too far down alleys, with brute force.

Is extremely powerful in either form, but has more killing potential as a female, and more defensive abilities as a male. They've been living a dangerous lifestyle for many years, and cannot give up their current lifestyle for any other. Changing the way they live now would be to deny their entire life and forget their very own existence. However, their lifestyle comes with some heavy consequences.

Their male form is wanted around many towns for the excessive violent muggings, which normally result in death, while their female form is wanted around the big cities for their countless scams that always lead men to lose their money and their lives. A part of them wants to be saved by someone, but the more dominant part of them wants to keep living the way the are, maintaining their life.
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Yanker wrote...
Thanks, it's good to know people enjoy reading my stuff. I've fixed up the Vastenarok typos already (in the original post, not the quoted ones).

In terms of the plot, I just really felt confused when all these new characters were introduced and everything went chaotic, so I parted Elgaraf from the party to slow down the pace of his personal story a little. I'll probably diverge from everyone else at this point, maybe crossing paths with one or two people, but above all I just want to focus on Elgaraf's 'lone wolf,' "I want to be the best" nature. However, events that happen elsewhere could still impact his journey.


That makes sense, and it's good to see you standing up for your character ^_^ I'll make sure that between complete horizon and I, that everyone does your character justice. Complete Horizon is taking over the project for now, so any further questions / submissions go to him until I get a break in December.

As of chapter nine, apparently, Masayoshi is going alone, as is Marie, as dictated by Complete Horizon. There is something I have to compliment CH on, too - for chapter 9, he made sure every paragraph was four lines on Fakku. I'm not sure how he pulled it off, but it's definitely not something I've seen before. Though, reading it was a slight pain, as there were probably at least 3500 words in the damn thing.

Compliments and small annoyances aside, and back to you, I'm dedicating chapter 10 to Elgaraf and Masayoshi, and their respective solo paths, because this is the last chapter I get to write until chapter 20. I hope I do both characters justice, yours as well as mine, and I hope to advance both journeys in a way that you can approve.

Well, look forward to chapter 10, I'll have it out soon enough ^_^.
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So wait, chapter 10 is already being made? I guess I didn't have to wait long at all...
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MyLastStand wrote...
So wait, chapter 10 is already being made? I guess I didn't have to wait long at all...


Sorry, it's still in progress! I'll be done sometime tomorrow though.
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LoliCreamPie wrote...
Sorry, it's still in progress! I'll be done sometime tomorrow though.


So... Are you done yet?
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MyLastStand wrote...
So... Are you done yet?


Actually, yes, I finished it early this morning. But, I'm just on lunch right now, so I'll post it tonight when I get home from work.
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LoliCreamPie wrote...
Actually, yes, I finished it early this morning. But, I'm just on lunch right now, so I'll post it tonight when I get home from work.


Ok. I can wait.
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MyLastStand wrote...
Ok. I can wait.


Thanks for waiting, here it is!

<<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>>
Chapter 10 - The Guardian of Erakuni:
<<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>><<<<>>>>

Spoiler:
Masayoshi had traveled for a while, and noticed while passing by Arden that the stakes in front of what was once the front gates were broken. He decided not to get involved - his best guess was that Marie had passed through there a few days prior, as part of her escape. Or, worse yet, she could still be there, and him entering would blow her cover.

Masayoshi continued following the path that lead to Aiful, but remembered a problem on the way - though the bridge was paid for, it certainly couldn’t have been rebuilt yet. He had to find an alternative way to Aiful. He remembered that Marie had drawn several maps, but he then remembered that they were left in Aiful with the rest of their belongings. He decided to go to where he burned the bridge, to see if there was an easier way to get over to the other side.

As he followed the cliffs hanging over the river, he eventually came across a path down the cliffs. He would have to remember this for later. He continued walking along the cliffs, heading in the direction of the bridge, when he came across a trade caravan stopped at the burnt bridge. They seemed to be discussing how to get to their next destination.

Masayoshi decided not to involve himself with the caravan, however, and instead traveled back to the cliff path he noticed on the way. However, waiting for him was an unwanted familiar face. Andrew V. Lithum. He still had no shadow, which, after his encounters with the Shadowmancer, Masayoshi found odd. “So you decided to stalk me?” Masayoshi questioned.

Andrew shook his head. “I decided to warn you. I respect that you don’t want to join me, but there is something that you should know - the Shadowmancer is no longer a puppet. He’s grown stronger much faster than I planned for. He’s learned to make his own decisions.” Andrew warned. Masayoshi raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that a good thing, though?” Masayoshi inquired. There was no way he’d believe Andrew was here just to give him a friendly warning.

Andrew sighed. “It is for me, because I don’t have to actively manage him. Though, it could mean bad things for you.” Andrew retorted. Masayoshi nodded. “Thanks for the warning. Though, I’m guessing that means you won’t stop him from attacking me from now on, right?” Masayoshi replied, posing a suggestion. Andrew smiled. “Sorry. I could, but you’d have to join me.” he proclaimed.

Masayoshi predicted there would be an angle like this to their meeting. Masayoshi laughed, deciding not to give Andrew his time. “Okay. Well, I’ll see you some other time.” Masayoshi stated, about to head down the cliff path. Andrew stopped him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t want to go that way. There’s an aggressive spirit near the river now.” Andrew stated. Masayoshi wondered why Andrew was warning him about this, but decided not to heed the warning.

Anything Andrew wanted him to do would probably result in some disaster, so he’d rather chance it with the †˜spirit’ Andrew warned him about. As soon as Masayoshi started on the path, he turned around, only to find Andrew gone. He probably teleported away to flee from the †˜spirit’ he claimed attacked people near here. As Masayoshi made it to the bottom of the path, the river ran rampant, crashing violently into the rocks and boulders peeking above it.

There was a ball of swirling light hovering over the raging river. “Who goes there, mortal?!” It interrogated. Masayoshi realized at that moment - Andrew wasn’t lying to him, so he’d best watch his words here. “Hitobashira Masayoshi. I seek passage to Aiful.” Masayoshi replied. The spirit’s glow brightened significantly. “Hitobashira…? You are the son of Tsuriai and Ketsui, are you not?” the spirit asked. Masayoshi nodded.

The spirit came to the shore, and a bright flash of light blinded Masayoshi. Afterward, the ethereal figure of a young woman stood before him. She had long, sparkling silver hair, silver eyes, and skin so pale even if she wasn’t a spirit you’d still believe she was. She had a beautiful face, and no scars or blemishes anywhere on his skin. Her clothing was regal, showing that she held a very high authority.

Then, Masayoshi realized something - Her features meant that she was an Arcane Master of the final stage - which meant that she was invulnerable. Only one person was known to have reached this stage in the last fifty thousand years - Etheria Eradica, the missing Empress of the Eradician Empire. He had so many questions. “You’re… Etheria Eradica, Empress of the Eradician Empire!” Masayoshi stated.

The spirit shook her head. “I’m not really Etheria, I’m just a piece of her personality she left in this world to protect it in her absence. I hold a very small portion of her power.” she explained. Masayoshi was still puzzled by one thing, though. How did Etheria know his parents? He had to find out. “What is Etheria’s connection to my parents?” Masayoshi inquired. The spirit’s expression darkened.

This was obviously a touchy subject. “Well… let’s just say that Etheria had feelings for your father, but was forced to give up due to her position.” Etheria’s spirit explained. Masayoshi was shocked. His own father was loved by the Empress, but because she was the Empress, she couldn’t have the thing she wanted most? Masayoshi wouldn’t accept it.

The way the Empire worked was a twisted ideal, in Masayoshi†˜s mind. Etheria should be allowed to love someone, even if she is the Empress. Her position shouldn’t be a limiting factor. He decided he would discuss the matter at length with Etheria’s spirit some other time, but for now, he needed to pass. “Can I head to Aiful? I left my family’s keepsakes there when I was forced to escape last time.” Masayoshi explained, asking Etheria’s spirit permission to pass.

Etheria’s spirit nodded. “But first, you must face me in combat. I will be testing you.” Etheria stated. She held out her palms, and shot beams of light from them, which burned the ground as they passed. Masayoshi jumped back, cleanly avoiding the opening attack. Etheria’s spirit may only have a small portion of her power, but she was still powerful enough to use advanced arcane arts without delays. The ground where the beams burned it was growing new grass.

Etheria’s spirit continued the assault, firing the beams repeatedly. The grass that was grown each time became taller and taller, eventually beginning to slow Masayoshi down. He needed to reach her. He drew his katana, and leapt forward to dodge the next two beams. He ran away from the beams but toward Etheria’s spirit, reaching her in less than three seconds. He sliced her hands to stop the beams, but his blade passed through with no resistance.

She was a spirit, both in name and in structure. Masayoshi needed a new plan. He had no control over the arcane arts, so he needed some other method to damaging her spirit. He then decided that he would use his full abilities to completely outmaneuver her, and strike her repeatedly. The slices wouldn’t hurt her, obviously, but taking so many strikes that should be fatal eventually wears down the confidence of anyone. He would focus of causing her spirit to waver.

Masayoshi jumped toward her again, slicing both of her legs this time. He waited until the last moment to dodge her beams, putting a very small distance between them, and as she aimed at him again, he leapt between the beams, and sliced her ethereal body from head to groin in one slash. After repeating the process of inflicting incapacitating and fatal strikes over and over again, Masayoshi was being worn down, as he was moving at full speed, and timing his jumps and strikes according to the actions of Etheria’s spirit.

However, Etheria’s spirit stopped firing and nodded. “You have no way to actually harm my spirit, is that correct?” she inquired. Masayoshi nodded with a smile. “So, instead, I decided to show you that if I could truly cut you, you would have died many times over. I did this to show my determination to you.” Masayoshi replied. Etheria’s spirit smiled back. She liked this kid more and more already.

“Alright, Hitobashira Masayoshi. You may travel to Aiful.” She stated, creating a staircase of light, which started at the edge of the river, and reached the top of the opposite cliff. “But, beware - many demons have surrounded Aiful, and a great power of darkness is within the town.” Etheria’s spirit forewarned. Masayoshi nodded. “Thank you so much. I hope to see you again some day soon.” he replied. Masayoshi took the staircase to the top of the cliff, after which it disappeared, along with Etheria’s spirit.

He needed to be cautious on his way into Aiful. He had fought demons before, but that was alongside Elgaraf. Now, he was on his own. He needed to be careful not to be discovered. He eventually managed to sneak in, and return to the room he slept in with Marie the night Elgaraf left them for his own journey. His belongings, as well as hers, were there, untouched.

There were no people, however, and this was something that bothered Masayoshi greatly… Had the Shadowmancer slaughtered another town…? Just then, the Shadowmancer himself walked into the room, facing Masayoshi. As always, his arrival is timed perfectly to make things difficult for Masayoshi. He was likely in top form, while Masayoshi was still recovering.

Not only that, but Masayoshi's options were a lot more limited. This time, the window was barred, and there really was no escape… How was Masayoshi supposed to fight this being, and come out of the situation alive and well? It seems like an insurmountable challenge, and he would likely have to sacrifice something more precious than a few limbs, if he wanted to stay alive to the end of this fight…
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CHAPTER SUMMARIES - FOR READER CONVENIENCE:


Okay, so I went through and looked at each chapter. I can give everyone a shortened summary for each, though some take A LOT more summary, but will still save you a lot of reading. EVERY summary contains SPOILERS, so be CAREFUL and don't BLAME ME for what happens later. I recommend ONLY reading summmaries for CHAPTERS YOU'VE ALREADY READ.

Sorry for all the capital words, I just wanted to make sure I was very, VERY clear.

Prologue:

Spoiler:
Introduces the Empire, the Empress, and her Head General Evan. Briefly, introduces their would-be allies, and they agree on a peace treaty for the benefit of both parties. Vastenarok shows up and sends Etheria to a dimension that will take her a long time to escape, and then gets blown up along with the palace, but survives and summons demons into the world.


Chapter 1:

Spoiler:
Masayoshi is introduced, as is the crisis to his village. Andrew is introduced as a man with no shadow, and he doesn't wish to harm Masayoshi, as he senses his latent potential, and wishes for him to join instead.

Elgaraf shows up after eavesdropping on their conversation, and kills off some demons. Andrew retreats for now. Elgaraf's impressed that Masayoshi had the balls to turn him down, and accepts his proposal to travel together, though only for a while. They rest up and prepare to leave.


Chapter 2:

Spoiler:
Elgaraf and Masayoshi continue onward to the town of Arden, but as they show up there's a group of demons and a man wielding shadows, who kills the guards at the town gates. Masayoshi then walks out to confront them.


Chapter 3:

Spoiler:
The shadow-wielding man enters the city to slaughter everyone, and Masayoshi and Elgaraf engage the demons, eventually defeating them. They enter the city afterward, notice that everyone's dead, and watch a scene between the shadow-wielding man and Andrew, and a young woman who was jumping from roof to roof comes over and helps them escape undetected. They go on to set up camp south of the city.


Chapter 4: Well, this chapter shifts views a lot...

Spoiler:
Marie explains her situation, and the party starts discussing what to do next.

The scene shifts to the 'allies' of the empire, and Vastenarok, where Vastenarok forced them into scheming against the empire.

Afterward, the scene shifts to Vastenarok meeting up with his new apprentice, who had mastered the arcane arts to serve him.

Then, the scene shifts to the party again, and Evan Darfolza shows up, fights Elgaraf, but retreats when confronted by the possibility of fighting three-on-one.


Chapter 5: Wow, this one's gonna take some time. Same amount of view shifts as the last chapter, though a lot more text to go through.

Spoiler:
Marie further explains her situation and the situation of the empire, and the party make the decision that they'll leave this area as soon as they can. Elgaraf begins Masayoshi's training, though soon gives up for the day.

The scene shifts to Vastenarok and Andrew, and Andrew is given an assignment. Andrew then gives Emil an assignment of his own. Andrew fights an arcane master, and almost wins, but Vastenarok swoops in for the kill at the last moment, and advances his own power.

After some lengthy speeches, the scene shifts back to the party, where Masayoshi and Marie had a childish argument, only to be stopped by Elgaraf, who was apparently much more mature and composed.

The scene soon shifts once more, this time to a new character, Rocan, who is fighting a group of demons, but easily dispatches them with his abilities. He then proceeds to offer his help to Marie, who needs to collect stone to make a furnace for weapon repairs.


Chapter 6: Ugh, more scene shifts. This hurts my head sometimes. Especially this time, since this guy's chapters are longer than goddamn anacondas.

Spoiler:
Rocan follows Marie back to Camp, briefly gives his intro then leaves the boulders and heads east. Marie makes the furnace and gets to work. Elgaraf and Masayoshi head to Arden, get some supplies for trade, mostly preserved goods, then make their way back to Masayoshi's home, Sento Village.

The scene shifts, and the scheme from chapter 4 where the empire's 'allies' have to deal with two generals comes to the forefront. There's a soft core porn scene, which is interrupted by very timely Michael Bay special effects. The cunt gets what he deserves, and the whore that he tricked falls into despair, but follows her general when he shows up.

Scene returns to Elgaraf and Masayoshi, and they hear about the bandits as they arrive at Sento village. They end up deciding Masayoshi will stay and defend while Elgaraf takes care of the bandits below. After Elgaraf meets and ends up killing a bandit of his own race, after countless other bandits, he returns to the village, where Masayoshi is whining over killing the bandits because he feels guilty for enjoying their deaths.

They go and bury all the bandits except the drow killed by Elgaraf, who receives a cremation ceremony. They return to camp, Marie is sleeping and the spear is repaired. They go to bed, deciding to move the camp after they rest the next day.


Chapter 7: So, another four-way scene split by that guy again, though his scenes got a lot longer this time around. Honestly, I'm getting really tired of these scene-splits.

Spoiler:
The party rests in shifts to rest up for the move, Masayoshi and Marie had another argument, and Marie is sent to bed after crossing the line, Elgaraf and Masayoshi talk, with Masayoshi leaving to 'collect firewood'. The Shadowmancer confronts him at the river, but just decides to talk this time around.

Masayoshi returns to Elgaraf with new information about himself, and Elgaraf explains a couple things as well. They then drop everything they're doing and pack up camp, Marie gets up and pitches in as well. They make haste to a town in the East, the town of Aiful.

The scene shifts back to Rocan. He catches up to the thieves, who try to hide their theft but then attack him instead. He still gets his money and his wallet back. Thankfully, this part is short and sweet.

The scene shifts back to Evan and Natalya, and she is introduced to five other generals. She displays mistrust for Evan, but says she'll follow his orders anyway. She has a conversation with an obnoxious arcane master who's a stage ahead. Another arcane master warns her that the other one is dangerous, after the fact.

In the final scene, Emil and Vastenarok have a conversation. Vastenarok tricks Emil into doing his bidding, and Emil goes off, believing to be following Andrew's orders. Vastenarok is bothered that the Shadowmancer is gaining power faster than he is, and is already more powerful than Andrew.

Vastenarok ponders the things he knew about invulnerability and immortality, basically just for explanation's sake.


Chapter 8:

Spoiler:
Masayoshi, Marie and Elgaraf make it to the town of Aiful, and notice a group of workers head into a tavern. They follow suit. Masayoshi reserves a room for three upstairs, and heads up with Marie to go to sleep. Elgaraf learns some interesting information about a swordsman in the mountains to the north, who was invincible, as no one has ever touched them. He decides to leave the party to go on his own journey, and heads north, leaving a couple notes and a book for Masayoshi.


Chapter 9:

Spoiler:
Masayoshi and Marie have a short conversation after they wake up the next day, but are interrupted by the Shadowmancer showing up, and forced to leave behind almost all of their belongings. Marie escapes first, and Masayoshi holds his own against Emil to buy some time.

Then he jumps down, but busts up his knees in the process, forced to desperately escape on horseback. He picks up Marie on the way, and they escape all the way across the bridge leading toward Aiful.

Masayoshi burns the bridge and then they head back to his village. Marie uses her fake status as Evan's elite scout to pay for the damages to the bridge, and get Masayoshi treated, then tries to sneak out, fails, and forces her way by using her extreme agility to escape.

Masayoshi is interrogated, reveals the information as planned, recovers a few days later, and continues his journey. He decides to go to Aiful to pick up the belongings they left behind in their escape.


Chapter 10:

Spoiler:
Masayoshi was on his way to Aiful, noticed some odd things about Arden, continued his trip, noticed a path down the cliffs and a path up the other side, kept walking, found a trade Caravan, decided not to get involved, and returned to the cliff path, only to be confronted by Andrew.

After a warning, Masayoshi was allowed to pass, and Andrew vanished before Masayoshi could turn back to face him. Masayoshi encountered a spirit at the river's edge, who turned out to be a fragment of the empress, Etheria's spirit. They had a conversation, and a short battle, after which Etheria aided his travel across the river and up the cliff.

Masayoshi continued his travel to Aiful, noticing the demons patrolling around it. He snuck in, and made it all the way to the room in the tavern they stayed at with their supplies and his spear and armor, but was confronted by Emil, the Shadowmancer. The timing was far too perfect to have been an accident.


Chapter 11:

Spoiler:
Masayoshi manages to fight Emil, and using his intellect, outwitted the Shadowmancer, managing to escape and learning more about the abilities wielded by the Shadowmancer. He also managed to snatch a set of keys for the tavern, to use the next time he returned. He set off on a journey to find someone to teach him the way of the sword, so that he may master the use of his katana.


...

...

...

So, that's basically all for now. I'll update this post whenever I get the chance, which won't be very often.
1
I present to everyone - Chapter 11:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chapter Eleven: Righteousness won’t get you into heaven
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Spoiler:
A deafening silence hung heavily in the air around the two of them. Masayoshi stood his ground, unsheathing his Katana. He was closer to his spear than last time, but still too far to get to it before Emil, the Shadowmancer, could get to him.

“I won’t run this time.” Masyoshi proclaimed with a glare of determination.

“That’s right. This time, you’re trapped.” Emil stated apathetically, his shadows writhing around him.

Masayoshi knew that the Shadowmancer had the ability to simply stand there and wear Masayoshi down with his attacks, so he had to be the one to take the initiative. Masayoshi leapt forward and rolled into a crouch, then leapt again, knocking the Shadowmancer over. He was immediately assaulted by shadows, but kicked the floorboards where they were weak, causing the floor to fall in.

They fell into what seemed to be the kitchen, as there were knives hanging neatly and plates stacked across shelves. Masayoshi was no longer holding his Katana, but it less than a metre away from him. He jumped and grabbed it, but his leg was caught by a shadow. He sliced the Shadow, and the part of it that gripped his leg disintegrated into thin air. At that moment, he realized something about the shadows.

“Your shadows are part of your body, or am I wrong?” Masayoshi questioned.

“I refuse to reveal any information on my abilities to you.” Emil replied, his shadows pointing sharply.

Masayoshi jumped over the counter and then stood his ground. Emil, the Shadowmancer, had walked the long way around, down the stairs and then through the hall to the kitchen. The shadows from above receded, apparently returning to him. From this, Masayoshi guess that he must have a limited range. That range was something Masayoshi needed to know.

Masayoshi noticed the window to his left. It was a long, wide window, and lead to the bar part of the tavern. He could escape through there, and would head out the front doors. He threw a bowl filled with flour from the counter at Emil, but his shadows sliced it before it hit him. It served its purpose, however, covering him in flour.

His shadows were also covered in flour, which confirmed Masayoshi’s realization from earlier - the shadows really were a part of his body, or an extension of it, and therefore not only would they move to protect him, but it would hurt him if the shadows were destroyed. Parts of the shadows that were completely covered dissipated. This made one more thing clear - a source of light was needed for his shadows to survive.

“Wait… So, your shadows really ARE a part of your body. And it seems you’re having some trouble re-forming them.” Masayoshi stated, in a tone that made it seem like he’d had a revelation.

“It seems you found out about that… But I have a question for you… why is a kitchen so dark when not in use?” Emil replied, inquiring about the dark room while grimacing to see.

The Shadowmancer was just like him. He needed the light to see well. Though, Masayoshi had adjusted much better. Then, Masayoshi noticed something else - Emil’s shadows were not reforming in the places covered by flour at all, in fact, the places that weren’t well-lit were slowly withering away. Now, the fact that the Shadowmancer didn’t fight him that night near the river made sense - the light from the sky was far too weak that night for his shadows to be effective. Without his shadows, he’d likely become completely vulnerable.

Masayoshi used this chance to escape through the window, and jumped over the bar. The bartender’s corpse had been left behind it on the floor, and apparently the Shadowmancer didn’t plan on cleaning her corpse off the ground any time soon. Masayoshi noticed there was a key ring with keys on it at her waist. He’d likely need that later if someone came to lock up after the demons left.

He grabbed the key ring, but the Shadowmancer had caught up, staring at him through the window. He had his Katana in hand, but was too far to attack the Shadowmancer. If he defended against his shadows, however, the noise would bring other demons to the scene. He had to dodge. Every single shadow. Still covered in a large amount of flour, the Shadowmancer hesitated to attack. Masayoshi noticed this, and backed off slowly.

The Shadowmancer simply stood there, apparently not caring whether he escaped or not. After Masayoshi left, he dashed out of town. He’d need to come back some other time for his belongings. For now, he needed to learn how to use his new weapon, and since he didn’t have Elgaraf’s book, as it was left behind, he needed to find a teacher who uses the weapon type. His journey to find a new teacher would soon begin, but unfortunately, fate had another unfortunate set of events in store for him before that…


@the-equalizer It's your turn to write.
1
MyLastStand wrote...
I present to everyone - Chapter 11:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chapter Eleven: Righteousness won’t get you into heaven
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Spoiler:
A deafening silence hung heavily in the air around the two of them. Masayoshi stood his ground, unsheathing his Katana. He was closer to his spear than last time, but still too far to get to it before Emil, the Shadowmancer, could get to him.

“I won’t run this time.” Masyoshi proclaimed with a glare of determination.

“That’s right. This time, you’re trapped.” Emil stated apathetically, his shadows writhing around him.

Masayoshi knew that the Shadowmancer had the ability to simply stand there and wear Masayoshi down with his attacks, so he had to be the one to take the initiative. Masayoshi leapt forward and rolled into a crouch, then leapt again, knocking the Shadowmancer over. He was immediately assaulted by shadows, but kicked the floorboards where they were weak, causing the floor to fall in.

They fell into what seemed to be the kitchen, as there were knives hanging neatly and plates stacked across shelves. Masayoshi was no longer holding his Katana, but it less than a metre away from him. He jumped and grabbed it, but his leg was caught by a shadow. He sliced the Shadow, and the part of it that gripped his leg disintegrated into thin air. At that moment, he realized something about the shadows.

“Your shadows are part of your body, or am I wrong?” Masayoshi questioned.

“I refuse to reveal any information on my abilities to you.” Emil replied, his shadows pointing sharply.

Masayoshi jumped over the counter and then stood his ground. Emil, the Shadowmancer, had walked the long way around, down the stairs and then through the hall to the kitchen. The shadows from above receded, apparently returning to him. From this, Masayoshi guess that he must have a limited range. That range was something Masayoshi needed to know.

Masayoshi noticed the window to his left. It was a long, wide window, and lead to the bar part of the tavern. He could escape through there, and would head out the front doors. He threw a bowl filled with flour from the counter at Emil, but his shadows sliced it before it hit him. It served its purpose, however, covering him in flour.

His shadows were also covered in flour, which confirmed Masayoshi’s realization from earlier - the shadows really were a part of his body, or an extension of it, and therefore not only would they move to protect him, but it would hurt him if the shadows were destroyed. Parts of the shadows that were completely covered dissipated. This made one more thing clear - a source of light was needed for his shadows to survive.

“Wait… So, your shadows really ARE a part of your body. And it seems you’re having some trouble re-forming them.” Masayoshi stated, in a tone that made it seem like he’d had a revelation.

“It seems you found out about that… But I have a question for you… why is a kitchen so dark when not in use?” Emil replied, inquiring about the dark room while grimacing to see.

The Shadowmancer was just like him. He needed the light to see well. Though, Masayoshi had adjusted much better. Then, Masayoshi noticed something else - Emil’s shadows were not reforming in the places covered by flour at all, in fact, the places that weren’t well-lit were slowly withering away. Now, the fact that the Shadowmancer didn’t fight him that night near the river made sense - the light from the sky was far too weak that night for his shadows to be effective. Without his shadows, he’d likely become completely vulnerable.

Masayoshi used this chance to escape through the window, and jumped over the bar. The bartender’s corpse had been left behind it on the floor, and apparently the Shadowmancer didn’t plan on cleaning her corpse off the ground any time soon. Masayoshi noticed there was a key ring with keys on it at her waist. He’d likely need that later if someone came to lock up after the demons left.

He grabbed the key ring, but the Shadowmancer had caught up, staring at him through the window. He had his Katana in hand, but was too far to attack the Shadowmancer. If he defended against his shadows, however, the noise would bring other demons to the scene. He had to dodge. Every single shadow. Still covered in a large amount of flour, the Shadowmancer hesitated to attack. Masayoshi noticed this, and backed off slowly.

The Shadowmancer simply stood there, apparently not caring whether he escaped or not. After Masayoshi left, he dashed out of town. He’d need to come back some other time for his belongings. For now, he needed to learn how to use his new weapon, and since he didn’t have Elgaraf’s book, as it was left behind, he needed to find a teacher who uses the weapon type. His journey to find a new teacher would soon begin, but unfortunately, fate had another unfortunate set of events in store for him before that…


There's a few reviews backed up, but I think it's too late to review them anyway... I don't have the time for longer reviews, so if you're chapter's longer than 1000 words, someone else will probably review it instead.

So, here's my review of your chapter:

I liked how you had Masayoshi overcome the difference in their abilities with his intelligence, and that's almost precisely how I would have done it. The way you revealed Emil Jorg Baumhauer's abilities was also clever, and I honestly think the character's creator would be pleased... however, setting up Masayoshi for more unfortunate events was a bit much, don't you think? He just had a run-in with his antithesis, doesn't that mean he deserves a break?

Though, maybe that's just me babying my character too much, and he might actually deserve this, as atonement for slaughtering those bandits a few chapters back and 'enjoying' it... (seriously you guys, why did you do that to him? He's supposed to be a hero, not an anti-hero...)

Though, it's too late to take back what has been done, so I guess Masayoshi will have to turn into more of a self-interested anti-hero who is out to achieve his own goals, rather that selflessly sacrificing himself. I guess it's more interesting that way.

I hate using a number system, but I'm short on time tonight, gotta go to bed soon, so...

7/10. It was too short, and didn't develop the plot much, but on the upsides, had good, cleverly-executed action scenes, and gave us more insight into an antagonist's abilities.

I'll see you all next Friday, as that's my next day off!
1
Chapter 12 ~ An Unwelcome Outcome:

Spoiler:
Arden river flooded overnight, reaching the top of the cliffs. The water level didn't just rise there, though - all the rivers in Erakuni were flooding. The water level was dangerously high. Equilibrium was broken. Vastenarok stood amidst the chaos of these natural disasters with a craven grin.

His eyes were now golden Topaz again. He'd finally finished his first task - becoming invulnerable. Now, with his god-like powers, he would destroy the balance of this fake world... forever. Just then, a portal opened behind Vastenarok, divine energy radiating all around it.

"Ah, how good of you to drop by... You escaped sooner than I thought you would." Vastenarok jeered. The person who left the portal was none other than the Empress of the Eradician Empire herself, Etheria Eradica. She was seething with rage toward Vastenarok, taking in the scene of destruction that was displayed before her.

Water levels rising dangerously, tornadoes ripping apart the valleys, and fires occurring everywhere. Vastenarok had brought about a Cataclysm. Etheria sat on the ground, and clasped her hands together, as if to pray. Her entire body glowed of pure white light, and then she burst into millions of shooting beams of energy, flying in all directions.

Every place the lights landed was restored to balance. The lights traveled far and wide. Elgaraf was travelling across a desolate plain to avoid the fires in surrounding fields, when one of the lights struck the ground near him. The entire area returned to life, plants growing rapidly, and animals appearing out of nowhere.

Another beam of light struck Masayoshi directly, as he traveled along the cliff's edge, being careful not to fall into the river. His ability as a Wevirian had taken form. He could now manipulate his body more freely, though he lacked control of it, and his left arm took the form of a large hammer spontaneously, weighing him down.

Yet another beam of light struck the ground near Marie and Rocan, who have been traveling together since they had the same destination in mind. The entire area was previously a dead wasteland, but became a living jungle, with many trees and various animals.

Evan was traveling with Natalya, and slaying demons along the way. A beam of light struck the ground near where they fought, and all of the demons were instantly disintegrated. Evan had seen something similar to this ability used by the Empress once, and decided to take Natalya and return to the capital immediately.

A beam of light nearly struck Andrew directly, but he dodged using time magic. He then allowed time near him to continue, and the beam of light struck the ground, creating a large crater, leaving no trace of the ground that once existed there. He knew what this meant immediately - Vastenarok had let Etheria escape the dimension of oblivion.

After all of the beams of light were expended from Etheria's body, a sphere of crystal-like material formed around her, and she herself turned into a mere dirt statue. Vastenarok didn't know what this meant, but seeing as Etheria's invulnerability was special, and wasn't gained by slaughtering other Arcane Masters, this must have been her limit. This last spell must have been her desperate attempt to set things right while protecting herself.

"And yet, all you do is delay the truth from being revealed, foolish little girl." Vastenarok stated, leaving the scene without a fight. He decided not to waste his time trying to destroy her protective sphere, as her invulnerability was probably possessed by the sphere currently, in order to protect her in her fragile state.

Meanwhile, Andrew was pondering the effects that the beam of light could have had on him. "If I hadn't dodged that, I wouldn't be standing here now, most likely..." Andrew pondered, walking slowly away from the crater. He was still waiting for the Shadowmancer to return, as Emil had been on an extended trip, and Andrew had forgotten to tighten the leash. Emil was getting cocky. Andrew needed to fix that, later.

As Elgaraf marveled in the beauty created before his eyes, he noticed that the areas in the far distance had been changed too. Something greater was at work here... Elgaraf continued his journey unabated, as there was no need to worry about things that don't directly affect him or his quest.

Masayoshi was struggling to figure out how to suppress the powers he suddenly gained, but only caused his own body to become more disfigured, morphing his own bones into grotesque forms. It would take a lot of effort just to figure out how to look human again, if he could even achieve that at all.

Marie and Rocan decided to continue their journey without worrying about what just happened, since there was no way to comprehend what caused it in their minds. Their current destination was the city of Xalurako, the city with the best defenses in all of Erakuni. They headed there without pause, making steady progress.

Evan and Natalya picked up the pace on their way back to the capital, but Evan instructed that they would stop in Xalurako for food rations on the way. They were constantly moving at a fairly high pace, never slower than a normal person's full-blown dash. They were rapidly closing the gap between themselves and their first stop, and would likely arrive before the next dawn.

All of these beings on their own individual journeys, traveling with different plans and goals, would soon come to realize the horrifying truth about the world. The world that they thought was theirs... but was it really? Many strange and disturbing events would occur after the prevention of this cataclysm, but would anyone truly be ready?
1
The Equalizer wrote...
Chapter 12 ~ An Unwelcome Outcome:

Spoiler:
Arden river flooded overnight, reaching the top of the cliffs. The water level didn't just rise there, though - all the rivers in Erakuni were flooding. The water level was dangerously high. Equilibrium was broken. Vastenarok stood amidst the chaos of these natural disasters with a craven grin.

His eyes were now golden Topaz again. He'd finally finished his first task - becoming invulnerable. Now, with his god-like powers, he would destroy the balance of this fake world... forever. Just then, a portal opened behind Vastenarok, divine energy radiating all around it.

"Ah, how good of you to drop by... You escaped sooner than I thought you would." Vastenarok jeered. The person who left the portal was none other than the Empress of the Eradician Empire herself, Etheria Eradica. She was seething with rage toward Vastenarok, taking in the scene of destruction that was displayed before her.

Water levels rising dangerously, tornadoes ripping apart the valleys, and fires occurring everywhere. Vastenarok had brought about a Cataclysm. Etheria sat on the ground, and clasped her hands together, as if to pray. Her entire body glowed of pure white light, and then she burst into millions of shooting beams of energy, flying in all directions.

Every place the lights landed was restored to balance. The lights traveled far and wide. Elgaraf was travelling across a desolate plain to avoid the fires in surrounding fields, when one of the lights struck the ground near him. The entire area returned to life, plants growing rapidly, and animals appearing out of nowhere.

Another beam of light struck Masayoshi directly, as he traveled along the cliff's edge, being careful not to fall into the river. His ability as a Wevirian had taken form. He could now manipulate his body more freely, though he lacked control of it, and his left arm took the form of a large hammer spontaneously, weighing him down.

Yet another beam of light struck the ground near Marie and Rocan, who have been traveling together since they had the same destination in mind. The entire area was previously a dead wasteland, but became a living jungle, with many trees and various animals.

Evan was traveling with Natalya, and slaying demons along the way. A beam of light struck the ground near where they fought, and all of the demons were instantly disintegrated. Evan had seen something similar to this ability used by the Empress once, and decided to take Natalya and return to the capital immediately.

A beam of light nearly struck Andrew directly, but he dodged using time magic. He then allowed time near him to continue, and the beam of light struck the ground, creating a large crater, leaving no trace of the ground that once existed there. He knew what this meant immediately - Vastenarok had let Etheria escape the dimension of oblivion.

After all of the beams of light were expended from Etheria's body, a sphere of crystal-like material formed around her, and she herself turned into a mere dirt statue. Vastenarok didn't know what this meant, but seeing as Etheria's invulnerability was special, and wasn't gained by slaughtering other Arcane Masters, this must have been her limit. This last spell must have been her desperate attempt to set things right while protecting herself.

"And yet, all you do is delay the truth from being revealed, foolish little girl." Vastenarok stated, leaving the scene without a fight. He decided not to waste his time trying to destroy her protective sphere, as her invulnerability was probably possessed by the sphere currently, in order to protect her in her fragile state.

Meanwhile, Andrew was pondering the effects that the beam of light could have had on him. "If I hadn't dodged that, I wouldn't be standing here now, most likely..." Andrew pondered, walking slowly away from the crater. He was still waiting for the Shadowmancer to return, as Emil had been on an extended trip, and Andrew had forgotten to tighten the leash. Emil was getting cocky. Andrew needed to fix that, later.

As Elgaraf marveled in the beauty created before his eyes, he noticed that the areas in the far distance had been changed too. Something greater was at work here... Elgaraf continued his journey unabated, as there was no need to worry about things that don't directly affect him or his quest.

Masayoshi was struggling to figure out how to suppress the powers he suddenly gained, but only caused his own body to become more disfigured, morphing his own bones into grotesque forms. It would take a lot of effort just to figure out how to look human again, if he could even achieve that at all.

Marie and Rocan decided to continue their journey without worrying about what just happened, since there was no way to comprehend what caused it in their minds. Their current destination was the city of Xalurako, the city with the best defenses in all of Erakuni. They headed there without pause, making steady progress.

Evan and Natalya picked up the pace on their way back to the capital, but Evan instructed that they would stop in Xalurako for food rations on the way. They were constantly moving at a fairly high pace, never slower than a normal person's full-blown dash. They were rapidly closing the gap between themselves and their first stop, and would likely arrive before the next dawn.

All of these beings on their own individual journeys, traveling with different plans and goals, would soon come to realize the horrifying truth about the world. The world that they thought was theirs... but was it really? Many strange and disturbing events would occur after the prevention of this cataclysm, but would anyone truly be ready?


Thanks for your contribution ^_^ I sent a PM to Complete Horizon, the current project manager, he'll be the one to review this chapter, if he chooses.

Would you like to reserve another chapter after chapter 15? If so, PM Complete Horizon.
1
The Equalizer wrote...
Chapter 12 ~ An Unwelcome Outcome:

Spoiler:
Arden river flooded overnight, reaching the top of the cliffs. The water level didn't just rise there, though - all the rivers in Erakuni were flooding. The water level was dangerously high. Equilibrium was broken. Vastenarok stood amidst the chaos of these natural disasters with a craven grin.

His eyes were now golden Topaz again. He'd finally finished his first task - becoming invulnerable. Now, with his god-like powers, he would destroy the balance of this fake world... forever. Just then, a portal opened behind Vastenarok, divine energy radiating all around it.

"Ah, how good of you to drop by... You escaped sooner than I thought you would." Vastenarok jeered. The person who left the portal was none other than the Empress of the Eradician Empire herself, Etheria Eradica. She was seething with rage toward Vastenarok, taking in the scene of destruction that was displayed before her.

Water levels rising dangerously, tornadoes ripping apart the valleys, and fires occurring everywhere. Vastenarok had brought about a Cataclysm. Etheria sat on the ground, and clasped her hands together, as if to pray. Her entire body glowed of pure white light, and then she burst into millions of shooting beams of energy, flying in all directions.

Every place the lights landed was restored to balance. The lights traveled far and wide. Elgaraf was travelling across a desolate plain to avoid the fires in surrounding fields, when one of the lights struck the ground near him. The entire area returned to life, plants growing rapidly, and animals appearing out of nowhere.

Another beam of light struck Masayoshi directly, as he traveled along the cliff's edge, being careful not to fall into the river. His ability as a Wevirian had taken form. He could now manipulate his body more freely, though he lacked control of it, and his left arm took the form of a large hammer spontaneously, weighing him down.

Yet another beam of light struck the ground near Marie and Rocan, who have been traveling together since they had the same destination in mind. The entire area was previously a dead wasteland, but became a living jungle, with many trees and various animals.

Evan was traveling with Natalya, and slaying demons along the way. A beam of light struck the ground near where they fought, and all of the demons were instantly disintegrated. Evan had seen something similar to this ability used by the Empress once, and decided to take Natalya and return to the capital immediately.

A beam of light nearly struck Andrew directly, but he dodged using time magic. He then allowed time near him to continue, and the beam of light struck the ground, creating a large crater, leaving no trace of the ground that once existed there. He knew what this meant immediately - Vastenarok had let Etheria escape the dimension of oblivion.

After all of the beams of light were expended from Etheria's body, a sphere of crystal-like material formed around her, and she herself turned into a mere dirt statue. Vastenarok didn't know what this meant, but seeing as Etheria's invulnerability was special, and wasn't gained by slaughtering other Arcane Masters, this must have been her limit. This last spell must have been her desperate attempt to set things right while protecting herself.

"And yet, all you do is delay the truth from being revealed, foolish little girl." Vastenarok stated, leaving the scene without a fight. He decided not to waste his time trying to destroy her protective sphere, as her invulnerability was probably possessed by the sphere currently, in order to protect her in her fragile state.

Meanwhile, Andrew was pondering the effects that the beam of light could have had on him. "If I hadn't dodged that, I wouldn't be standing here now, most likely..." Andrew pondered, walking slowly away from the crater. He was still waiting for the Shadowmancer to return, as Emil had been on an extended trip, and Andrew had forgotten to tighten the leash. Emil was getting cocky. Andrew needed to fix that, later.

As Elgaraf marveled in the beauty created before his eyes, he noticed that the areas in the far distance had been changed too. Something greater was at work here... Elgaraf continued his journey unabated, as there was no need to worry about things that don't directly affect him or his quest.

Masayoshi was struggling to figure out how to suppress the powers he suddenly gained, but only caused his own body to become more disfigured, morphing his own bones into grotesque forms. It would take a lot of effort just to figure out how to look human again, if he could even achieve that at all.

Marie and Rocan decided to continue their journey without worrying about what just happened, since there was no way to comprehend what caused it in their minds. Their current destination was the city of Xalurako, the city with the best defenses in all of Erakuni. They headed there without pause, making steady progress.

Evan and Natalya picked up the pace on their way back to the capital, but Evan instructed that they would stop in Xalurako for food rations on the way. They were constantly moving at a fairly high pace, never slower than a normal person's full-blown dash. They were rapidly closing the gap between themselves and their first stop, and would likely arrive before the next dawn.

All of these beings on their own individual journeys, traveling with different plans and goals, would soon come to realize the horrifying truth about the world. The world that they thought was theirs... but was it really? Many strange and disturbing events would occur after the prevention of this cataclysm, but would anyone truly be ready?


Whoa whoa whoa hold on there. That's a lot of plot advancement. Usually, I'd say plot advancement's a good thing, but not when you advance it by literally 50+ chapters in one shot... The cataclysm wasn't supposed to happen until chapter 55, and Etheria wasn't supposed to return until well after chapter 60... I PM'ed you the base plot since you told me you wanted to advance it, but this was way too fast...

Regardless, it's too late to take any of this back, so I'll just be forced to roll with it. At the very least, you followed my warning about not changing the events of Elgaraf's journey, but still, this is a very sudden advancement...

I can't even make a proper review because this is just... too much.

I guess I should ask the OP for what comes after the end of his current plot. Your chapter was decent, but left out so many important details that I can't give it a review. I'll have to wait until your next chapter.
1
Yanker I read hentai for plot
The Equalizer wrote...
Chapter 12 ~ An Unwelcome Outcome:

Spoiler:
Arden river flooded overnight, reaching the top of the cliffs. The water level didn't just rise there, though - all the rivers in Erakuni were flooding. The water level was dangerously high. Equilibrium was broken. Vastenarok stood amidst the chaos of these natural disasters with a craven grin.

His eyes were now golden Topaz again. He'd finally finished his first task - becoming invulnerable. Now, with his god-like powers, he would destroy the balance of this fake world... forever. Just then, a portal opened behind Vastenarok, divine energy radiating all around it.

"Ah, how good of you to drop by... You escaped sooner than I thought you would." Vastenarok jeered. The person who left the portal was none other than the Empress of the Eradician Empire herself, Etheria Eradica. She was seething with rage toward Vastenarok, taking in the scene of destruction that was displayed before her.

Water levels rising dangerously, tornadoes ripping apart the valleys, and fires occurring everywhere. Vastenarok had brought about a Cataclysm. Etheria sat on the ground, and clasped her hands together, as if to pray. Her entire body glowed of pure white light, and then she burst into millions of shooting beams of energy, flying in all directions.

Every place the lights landed was restored to balance. The lights traveled far and wide. Elgaraf was travelling across a desolate plain to avoid the fires in surrounding fields, when one of the lights struck the ground near him. The entire area returned to life, plants growing rapidly, and animals appearing out of nowhere.

Another beam of light struck Masayoshi directly, as he traveled along the cliff's edge, being careful not to fall into the river. His ability as a Wevirian had taken form. He could now manipulate his body more freely, though he lacked control of it, and his left arm took the form of a large hammer spontaneously, weighing him down.

Yet another beam of light struck the ground near Marie and Rocan, who have been traveling together since they had the same destination in mind. The entire area was previously a dead wasteland, but became a living jungle, with many trees and various animals.

Evan was traveling with Natalya, and slaying demons along the way. A beam of light struck the ground near where they fought, and all of the demons were instantly disintegrated. Evan had seen something similar to this ability used by the Empress once, and decided to take Natalya and return to the capital immediately.

A beam of light nearly struck Andrew directly, but he dodged using time magic. He then allowed time near him to continue, and the beam of light struck the ground, creating a large crater, leaving no trace of the ground that once existed there. He knew what this meant immediately - Vastenarok had let Etheria escape the dimension of oblivion.

After all of the beams of light were expended from Etheria's body, a sphere of crystal-like material formed around her, and she herself turned into a mere dirt statue. Vastenarok didn't know what this meant, but seeing as Etheria's invulnerability was special, and wasn't gained by slaughtering other Arcane Masters, this must have been her limit. This last spell must have been her desperate attempt to set things right while protecting herself.

"And yet, all you do is delay the truth from being revealed, foolish little girl." Vastenarok stated, leaving the scene without a fight. He decided not to waste his time trying to destroy her protective sphere, as her invulnerability was probably possessed by the sphere currently, in order to protect her in her fragile state.

Meanwhile, Andrew was pondering the effects that the beam of light could have had on him. "If I hadn't dodged that, I wouldn't be standing here now, most likely..." Andrew pondered, walking slowly away from the crater. He was still waiting for the Shadowmancer to return, as Emil had been on an extended trip, and Andrew had forgotten to tighten the leash. Emil was getting cocky. Andrew needed to fix that, later.

As Elgaraf marveled in the beauty created before his eyes, he noticed that the areas in the far distance had been changed too. Something greater was at work here... Elgaraf continued his journey unabated, as there was no need to worry about things that don't directly affect him or his quest.

Masayoshi was struggling to figure out how to suppress the powers he suddenly gained, but only caused his own body to become more disfigured, morphing his own bones into grotesque forms. It would take a lot of effort just to figure out how to look human again, if he could even achieve that at all.

Marie and Rocan decided to continue their journey without worrying about what just happened, since there was no way to comprehend what caused it in their minds. Their current destination was the city of Xalurako, the city with the best defenses in all of Erakuni. They headed there without pause, making steady progress.

Evan and Natalya picked up the pace on their way back to the capital, but Evan instructed that they would stop in Xalurako for food rations on the way. They were constantly moving at a fairly high pace, never slower than a normal person's full-blown dash. They were rapidly closing the gap between themselves and their first stop, and would likely arrive before the next dawn.

All of these beings on their own individual journeys, traveling with different plans and goals, would soon come to realize the horrifying truth about the world. The world that they thought was theirs... but was it really? Many strange and disturbing events would occur after the prevention of this cataclysm, but would anyone truly be ready?



Well... that escalated quickly.

If I didn't know better, it would sound like everything from chapter 12-50 was just skipped.

Would you consider rewriting your chapter completely? You can still keep this one, just save it for when the events progress naturally to this point before posting it. Honestly... it's just too much. You didn't even give time for Masayoshi to develop and discover his ability, or for the Empress to escape...

Alternatively, whoever is writing the next chapter, make this a strange dream by one of the characters to foreshadow the future. There's no way we're jumping to doomsday so quickly.
1
Chapter 13 - Awakening:

Spoiler:

The night was warm for a fall night, yet Masayoshi woke up drenched in a cold sweat. What were those visions? What happened with his powers? The cataclysm that happened… was everything just a dream? Or was it a vision of some kind? Masayoshi remembered the image of his disfigured body, wondering if that dream would become a frightening reality. He stood up quickly, and knocked a hole in the top of his tent. “Dammit!” he cursed, kicking and punching his way out of the tent. After breaking the tent apart, he let out a sigh of relief, as if he was burdened by having a working tent.

The dream was too realistic to be just a dream, and the events that happened seemed too horrible yet viable to be something Masayoshi simply imagined. It had to be a vision of the future. A prophecy. That was the only thing that could explain it. Yet, it drove him crazy to think about it. Masayoshi picked up the broken tent and tossed it aside, knowing he didn’t have the skills to fix it, or anything for that matter. He picked up his katana, examining it carefully. It was definitely his father’s craftsmanship, and he always wondered why his father never taught him anything. He needed to know the truth.

Masayoshi took a look at the map he’d drawn of the area. He’d spent his last several days of travel scouting the areas around his route, making sure there were no demon groups, and trying to locate a city or town with survivors. He could always hole up in Arden, but he’d have to travel west for several days, and probably needed to find a new path, as traversing the river the way he did last time was likely not possible. He decided he would start just following the road, until it split. Once it did, he would be able to check both roads, likely finding a city or town at the end of at least one of them.

Masayoshi decided to abandon his camp, as the tent was broken, and most of the equipment he had the horse carry was unusable by this point. He would travel light. He had recently made a hunting bow out of a sturdy branch from a nearby willow tree, and seeing as he was very low on food, foraging and hunting were the orders of the day. He would only leave the road for these purposes, as the sooner he made it to civilization now, the better. His wilderness travels had worn him down significantly, and he often lacked sufficient sleep and food. Water was soon to become an issue, as well.

After many miles of traveling the road, he was so hungry he could almost pass out, and hadn’t spotted any wild game at all, not even a rabbit. He needed something to sustain himself, or he’d die from hunger. He noticed another cloaked wanderer. Normally, he’d stay far away from shady-looking people, but he was so hungry that he had to take a chance. He walked up to the wanderer, and noticed that the cloak was familiar. “Is that… Elgaraf?” Masayoshi questioned. The cloaked wandered turned to him. It was certainly Elgaraf, even his eyes matched.

But, his figure suddenly disintegrated, becoming black sand on the ground. This was it. He was definitely hallucinating. Lack of food and sleep had done him in. That dream last night was probably also just him hallucinating out of his mind. He needed food, and fast. He needed something while he still had the ability to move his body. There was a nearby forest, but the beasts had the advantage in the woods. Though, he didn’t really have a choice. He headed into the forest, brushing past many dead trees on the way. Strangely, the trees seemed to be more dead as he traveled deeper into the forest.

Another cloaked figure stood in the forest clearing. This time, they had a smaller frame. Masayoshi noticed a pair of slender steel gauntlets to the sides of the cloak. “Marie…?” Masayoshi asked, walking up to the figure. As soon as he saw her face, the figure of Marie disintegrated, turning into more black sand on the ground. This was the second time this happened. Masayoshi knelt down and sifted through the sand. It vanished in his hand, grain by grain, in a similar fashion to the shadows wielded by the Shadowmancer. He could have been fooled into going this way, misled by these disintegrating figures.

Masayoshi took his bow off of his back, took an arrow from his quiver, and drew it. He was too weak for melee combat, but he had a bad feeling that he’d be attacked soon. There was no response to his gestures. After a short while, he decided to continue walking through the forest, as he really, really needed to find some food. Walking for what seemed like several days, he had only been walking for a few minutes when he reached another clearing. A few of the trees in this clearing were pure white, as if they’d been burned so many times that every hint of life left their trunks and branches.

There was yet another cloaked figure. Masayoshi didn’t even need input about this one, since he only had one person left he considered to not be an enemy – it had to be a figure of Rocan. He simply walked into the figure, causing it to disintegrate. Someone was definitely showing him these figures intentionally. As he continued down the path, more and more of the trees were burnt to a white ash color. He eventually came to a fourth clearing, where a giant black sphere hovered above the ground. It emanated a menacing aura, and reeked of pure evil. The sphere did not move, not even an inch.

As Masayoshi approached the sphere, it shape-shifted into a portal-like shape, and emanated an even more malicious aura. It seemed to be beckoning Masayoshi to enter. Masayoshi didn’t know what else he could do, he was led here, through starvation and hallucinations. He entered the portal. Stretched ut before him, was a vast, empty void of darkness. Masayoshi turned to exit the portal he came in through, but it was gone. Masayoshi decided to wander this void, as there was nothing else to do. Oddly, he didn’t feel hungry or tired anymore. Was it because of this place?

After wandering for an immeasurable amount of time, he eventually noticed that the void wasn’t completely empty – everything was just very, very far apart. He noticed a stone statue. And walked up to it. There was an inscription on the base, but he couldn’t read it, as it was definitely a foreign language. The statue looked old – ancient, even. There was nothing else in sight, though he’d passed a broken tree on the way, which was sitting on something similar to the ground, or what passes as the ground in the void. He kept walking, hoping to find something… anything living, himself aside.

After another walk of innumerable hours, or even days, he spotted a figure in the far distance, chained to a pillar. This wasn’t like the other figures he’d been confronted with before he found the sphere. He walked up to the figure. It was a young woman, chained up to the pillar, wearing a white dress. She had skin so pale, it was nearly transparent. She had beautiful silver hair that swept all the way down to her ankles. Her eyes were closed peacefully, but she had an expression of sorrow. It was as if someone had put her to sleep here. She resembled Etheria’s spirit a bit, but Masayoshi couldn’t recognize her as such.

He tried to pull at the chains to free her, but they would not budge, and touching them seared his fingertips. He held his arms into his chest, shouting in pain, but his wounds soon healed. His hands and fingers now had burn scars, but otherwise, were fully healed. Then, Masayoshi realized why. “Time… It moves much faster in here.” Masayoshi stated. And yet, his body was unaffected. It must be related to the comment that Marie made, that time magic doesn’t affect Wevirians. There was nothing to be done now but to test this theory, and if he was right, figure out a way to unchain the woman.

He drew his katana, and let go of it, watching it carefully. Yet, it suddenly disappeared, with an instant clanking sound. He looked down, and the katana was at his feet. Apparently, time moved so much faster in this void than it did outside, that he couldn’t even observe things unless they would take a very long time. To heal the burns on his hands would have probably taken many months, or even a few years, but took mere seconds in this void. Essentially, he was the slow one, where everything else moved at unmatchable speeds. There was nothing he could do in his power to change these effects.

However, there was a way he could abuse it. He healed very quickly, which meant that he could likely break the chains if he repeatedly struck them with enough force. He had to ignore the pain, somehow. He struck the chains over and over again, adding more burn scars to his hands, but to no avail – he didn’t have the strength to so much as scratch the chains. He didn’t want to risk breaking his katana, either. Then, a familiar face stood on the other side of the statue – one that was most unwanted. “Long time no see, Hitobashira Masayoshi.” The man greeted, using a fairly threatening tone.

It was Andrew V. Lithum. As expected, this dimension was created by either Vastenarok, or him. There was no other explanation for this current situation. “I just have a few things I need to show you before I can let you go.” Andrew stated. He took out a lamp and lit it, showing that light had no effect in the area. Nothing at all was illuminated, and yet everything could be seen. He then threw the lantern, and it flew so fast it was instantly out of sight. But wait – the lantern was easy to see, and yet it was nowhere in sight. Objects must fly farther in the void due to warped gravity, yet Masayoshi was unaffected.

Andrew chanted a spell in an unknown language, and opened a new portal, this one red and emanating a burning aura. He beckoned Masayoshi to join him, and then entered the portal. Masayoshi knew that Andrew had some larger goal by doing this, although, he also knew that refusal was out of the question at this point, seeing as he’d willingly walked into this place that Andrew created. He entered the portal, feeling all of his skin burn off as passed through it, but on the other side, he didn’t have a single scar. Not even the scars from his burns remained. It was a vast field of flowers, under a clear blue sky.

“What kind of bad joke is this?” Masayoshi inquired, glaring at Andrew. Andrew stood in the center of a circle of grass with no flowers within three or four feet of him. He had no shadow. Andrew smirked. “I brought you here to show you something. More precisely, to show you †˜nothing’.” Andrew replied. Masayoshi was bothered that Andrew had no shadow, and so walked into the circle of grass where he stood. Masayoshi’s own shadow still existed. “As you must have guessed, my lack of a shadow is disturbing, right? But, it doesn’t mean I’m a good guy, nor that I’m evil.” Andrew started to explain.

Masayoshi cringed a bit. “So, you’re †˜The Shadowless’, and Emil is †˜The Shadowmancer’. For some reason, that connection is incredibly suspicious.” He retorted. Andrew nodded in affirmation. “I am indeed †˜Andrew the Shadowless’, and as you suspect, †˜Emil the Shadowmancer’ is my shadow, separated from my being. Of course, finding that out is no surprise, since we aren’t exactly hiding that fact. The real trick is figuring out why I chose to make things this way.” Andrew explained. He opened a new portal, but this one was, interestingly, bright, and emanated an aura of divine power.

Masayoshi had reservations about entering a portal opened by Andrew, but he also knew that Andrew wasn’t his enemy in this instance. He was trying to leave him with more of the truth. Masayoshi entered the portal, watching Andrew carefully as he did. As he passed through, he felt entirely rejuvenated. Now, not only was he not tired and not hungry, but he had been filled with energy and strength, as though he was in peak condition. After exiting, he found himself outside the forest that he entered earlier. Andrew did not follow, and the portal promptly closed. This was his way of testing Masayoshi.

Masayoshi had to figure out what Andrew’s reasons were for separating his shadow from himself, as this had some serious implications of his so-called †˜allegiance’ with Vastenarok. He decided to continue his journey to the nearest city or town for now, but would not forget his goals. He needed a teacher to train him in the way of the blade, he needed to find more about himself and his ancestry, and also needed to find the truth about the mysteries of Andrew’s group. He decided to stay away from Vastenarok for now, since he had no way to fight him. He continued following the road, until he came to a split in it…
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Spikedpikes wrote...
Chapter 13 - Awakening:


Review will come very soon.

Edit: Here's my review:

For the most part, very good. You managed to pass off the craziness of chapter 12 as both a prophecy and a mere hallucination. This pleases me. You also managed to advance the plot, while not advancing it TOO much, and still getting your point across. You revealed some tidbits of information that most people already figured out, while introducing plot elements and mysteries to be addressed later.

My biggest nit-pick is going to be chapter length. I know I'm also guilty of this, but we have to start shortening the chapters, as this will be a 100-chapter book, and keeping people interested is going to be hard when everyone makes each chapter 2000+ words. That's not to say what you're doing isn't good, because it is, but we all need to start expressing things in fewer words, and implying more without saying or explaining it explicitly.

Anyway, on a scale of 0-10, you get a solid 8. That's just my personal opinion, however.
1
Spikedpikes wrote...
Chapter 13 - Awakening:

Spoiler:

The night was warm for a fall night, yet Masayoshi woke up drenched in a cold sweat. What were those visions? What happened with his powers? The cataclysm that happened… was everything just a dream? Or was it a vision of some kind? Masayoshi remembered the image of his disfigured body, wondering if that dream would become a frightening reality. He stood up quickly, and knocked a hole in the top of his tent. “Dammit!” he cursed, kicking and punching his way out of the tent. After breaking the tent apart, he let out a sigh of relief, as if he was burdened by having a working tent.

The dream was too realistic to be just a dream, and the events that happened seemed too horrible yet viable to be something Masayoshi simply imagined. It had to be a vision of the future. A prophecy. That was the only thing that could explain it. Yet, it drove him crazy to think about it. Masayoshi picked up the broken tent and tossed it aside, knowing he didn’t have the skills to fix it, or anything for that matter. He picked up his katana, examining it carefully. It was definitely his father’s craftsmanship, and he always wondered why his father never taught him anything. He needed to know the truth.

Masayoshi took a look at the map he’d drawn of the area. He’d spent his last several days of travel scouting the areas around his route, making sure there were no demon groups, and trying to locate a city or town with survivors. He could always hole up in Arden, but he’d have to travel west for several days, and probably needed to find a new path, as traversing the river the way he did last time was likely not possible. He decided he would start just following the road, until it split. Once it did, he would be able to check both roads, likely finding a city or town at the end of at least one of them.

Masayoshi decided to abandon his camp, as the tent was broken, and most of the equipment he had the horse carry was unusable by this point. He would travel light. He had recently made a hunting bow out of a sturdy branch from a nearby willow tree, and seeing as he was very low on food, foraging and hunting were the orders of the day. He would only leave the road for these purposes, as the sooner he made it to civilization now, the better. His wilderness travels had worn him down significantly, and he often lacked sufficient sleep and food. Water was soon to become an issue, as well.

After many miles of traveling the road, he was so hungry he could almost pass out, and hadn’t spotted any wild game at all, not even a rabbit. He needed something to sustain himself, or he’d die from hunger. He noticed another cloaked wanderer. Normally, he’d stay far away from shady-looking people, but he was so hungry that he had to take a chance. He walked up to the wanderer, and noticed that the cloak was familiar. “Is that… Elgaraf?” Masayoshi questioned. The cloaked wandered turned to him. It was certainly Elgaraf, even his eyes matched.

But, his figure suddenly disintegrated, becoming black sand on the ground. This was it. He was definitely hallucinating. Lack of food and sleep had done him in. That dream last night was probably also just him hallucinating out of his mind. He needed food, and fast. He needed something while he still had the ability to move his body. There was a nearby forest, but the beasts had the advantage in the woods. Though, he didn’t really have a choice. He headed into the forest, brushing past many dead trees on the way. Strangely, the trees seemed to be more dead as he traveled deeper into the forest.

Another cloaked figure stood in the forest clearing. This time, they had a smaller frame. Masayoshi noticed a pair of slender steel gauntlets to the sides of the cloak. “Marie…?” Masayoshi asked, walking up to the figure. As soon as he saw her face, the figure of Marie disintegrated, turning into more black sand on the ground. This was the second time this happened. Masayoshi knelt down and sifted through the sand. It vanished in his hand, grain by grain, in a similar fashion to the shadows wielded by the Shadowmancer. He could have been fooled into going this way, misled by these disintegrating figures.

Masayoshi took his bow off of his back, took an arrow from his quiver, and drew it. He was too weak for melee combat, but he had a bad feeling that he’d be attacked soon. There was no response to his gestures. After a short while, he decided to continue walking through the forest, as he really, really needed to find some food. Walking for what seemed like several days, he had only been walking for a few minutes when he reached another clearing. A few of the trees in this clearing were pure white, as if they’d been burned so many times that every hint of life left their trunks and branches.

There was yet another cloaked figure. Masayoshi didn’t even need input about this one, since he only had one person left he considered to not be an enemy – it had to be a figure of Rocan. He simply walked into the figure, causing it to disintegrate. Someone was definitely showing him these figures intentionally. As he continued down the path, more and more of the trees were burnt to a white ash color. He eventually came to a fourth clearing, where a giant black sphere hovered above the ground. It emanated a menacing aura, and reeked of pure evil. The sphere did not move, not even an inch.

As Masayoshi approached the sphere, it shape-shifted into a portal-like shape, and emanated an even more malicious aura. It seemed to be beckoning Masayoshi to enter. Masayoshi didn’t know what else he could do, he was led here, through starvation and hallucinations. He entered the portal. Stretched ut before him, was a vast, empty void of darkness. Masayoshi turned to exit the portal he came in through, but it was gone. Masayoshi decided to wander this void, as there was nothing else to do. Oddly, he didn’t feel hungry or tired anymore. Was it because of this place?

After wandering for an immeasurable amount of time, he eventually noticed that the void wasn’t completely empty – everything was just very, very far apart. He noticed a stone statue. And walked up to it. There was an inscription on the base, but he couldn’t read it, as it was definitely a foreign language. The statue looked old – ancient, even. There was nothing else in sight, though he’d passed a broken tree on the way, which was sitting on something similar to the ground, or what passes as the ground in the void. He kept walking, hoping to find something… anything living, himself aside.

After another walk of innumerable hours, or even days, he spotted a figure in the far distance, chained to a pillar. This wasn’t like the other figures he’d been confronted with before he found the sphere. He walked up to the figure. It was a young woman, chained up to the pillar, wearing a white dress. She had skin so pale, it was nearly transparent. She had beautiful silver hair that swept all the way down to her ankles. Her eyes were closed peacefully, but she had an expression of sorrow. It was as if someone had put her to sleep here. She resembled Etheria’s spirit a bit, but Masayoshi couldn’t recognize her as such.

He tried to pull at the chains to free her, but they would not budge, and touching them seared his fingertips. He held his arms into his chest, shouting in pain, but his wounds soon healed. His hands and fingers now had burn scars, but otherwise, were fully healed. Then, Masayoshi realized why. “Time… It moves much faster in here.” Masayoshi stated. And yet, his body was unaffected. It must be related to the comment that Marie made, that time magic doesn’t affect Wevirians. There was nothing to be done now but to test this theory, and if he was right, figure out a way to unchain the woman.

He drew his katana, and let go of it, watching it carefully. Yet, it suddenly disappeared, with an instant clanking sound. He looked down, and the katana was at his feet. Apparently, time moved so much faster in this void than it did outside, that he couldn’t even observe things unless they would take a very long time. To heal the burns on his hands would have probably taken many months, or even a few years, but took mere seconds in this void. Essentially, he was the slow one, where everything else moved at unmatchable speeds. There was nothing he could do in his power to change these effects.

However, there was a way he could abuse it. He healed very quickly, which meant that he could likely break the chains if he repeatedly struck them with enough force. He had to ignore the pain, somehow. He struck the chains over and over again, adding more burn scars to his hands, but to no avail – he didn’t have the strength to so much as scratch the chains. He didn’t want to risk breaking his katana, either. Then, a familiar face stood on the other side of the statue – one that was most unwanted. “Long time no see, Hitobashira Masayoshi.” The man greeted, using a fairly threatening tone.

It was Andrew V. Lithum. As expected, this dimension was created by either Vastenarok, or him. There was no other explanation for this current situation. “I just have a few things I need to show you before I can let you go.” Andrew stated. He took out a lamp and lit it, showing that light had no effect in the area. Nothing at all was illuminated, and yet everything could be seen. He then threw the lantern, and it flew so fast it was instantly out of sight. But wait – the lantern was easy to see, and yet it was nowhere in sight. Objects must fly farther in the void due to warped gravity, yet Masayoshi was unaffected.

Andrew chanted a spell in an unknown language, and opened a new portal, this one red and emanating a burning aura. He beckoned Masayoshi to join him, and then entered the portal. Masayoshi knew that Andrew had some larger goal by doing this, although, he also knew that refusal was out of the question at this point, seeing as he’d willingly walked into this place that Andrew created. He entered the portal, feeling all of his skin burn off as passed through it, but on the other side, he didn’t have a single scar. Not even the scars from his burns remained. It was a vast field of flowers, under a clear blue sky.

“What kind of bad joke is this?” Masayoshi inquired, glaring at Andrew. Andrew stood in the center of a circle of grass with no flowers within three or four feet of him. He had no shadow. Andrew smirked. “I brought you here to show you something. More precisely, to show you †˜nothing’.” Andrew replied. Masayoshi was bothered that Andrew had no shadow, and so walked into the circle of grass where he stood. Masayoshi’s own shadow still existed. “As you must have guessed, my lack of a shadow is disturbing, right? But, it doesn’t mean I’m a good guy, nor that I’m evil.” Andrew started to explain.

Masayoshi cringed a bit. “So, you’re †˜The Shadowless’, and Emil is †˜The Shadowmancer’. For some reason, that connection is incredibly suspicious.” He retorted. Andrew nodded in affirmation. “I am indeed †˜Andrew the Shadowless’, and as you suspect, †˜Emil the Shadowmancer’ is my shadow, separated from my being. Of course, finding that out is no surprise, since we aren’t exactly hiding that fact. The real trick is figuring out why I chose to make things this way.” Andrew explained. He opened a new portal, but this one was, interestingly, bright, and emanated an aura of divine power.

Masayoshi had reservations about entering a portal opened by Andrew, but he also knew that Andrew wasn’t his enemy in this instance. He was trying to leave him with more of the truth. Masayoshi entered the portal, watching Andrew carefully as he did. As he passed through, he felt entirely rejuvenated. Now, not only was he not tired and not hungry, but he had been filled with energy and strength, as though he was in peak condition. After exiting, he found himself outside the forest that he entered earlier. Andrew did not follow, and the portal promptly closed. This was his way of testing Masayoshi.

Masayoshi had to figure out what Andrew’s reasons were for separating his shadow from himself, as this had some serious implications of his so-called †˜allegiance’ with Vastenarok. He decided to continue his journey to the nearest city or town for now, but would not forget his goals. He needed a teacher to train him in the way of the blade, he needed to find more about himself and his ancestry, and also needed to find the truth about the mysteries of Andrew’s group. He decided to stay away from Vastenarok for now, since he had no way to fight him. He continued following the road, until he came to a split in it…


So, I honestly don't have that much to say, as the OP already said it. The whole woman chained to the pillar deal might have been introduced a little bit too soon, but that's okay, since I planned to introduce it in chapter 15 anyway.

Though, now it means that Masayoshi's the one that knows about her, and not Elgaraf. That's fine though, as long as the OP and Yanker don't have problems with it.
1
Complete Horizon wrote...
Though, now it means that Masayoshi's the one that knows about her, and not Elgaraf. That's fine though, as long as the OP and Yanker don't have problems with it.


I have no objection as long as Yanker is fine with that.
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