mibuchiha Posts

Hi, welcome to Fakku. Mind sharing the full pic of your avatar?

Lyrics, translations, details: http://artonelico.wikia.com/wiki/EXEC_VISIONDANCE_PLUGINs

A grand song . Fucking grand. For a celebratory song to be so solemn and reminding, excellent.

I decided to give it a chance. What the heck, when you're drinking and bored and this novel was sitting around and I'm too lazy to write my own...

Oh, I have not read the comments so expect repeats. And this comment is typed live as I read so you know it might not be too accurate as some question might have been explained to you in later parts etc.

Prologue:

I am uncomfortable with some phrases and the inconsistency I saw. Oh, punctuations.

Now, the plot. A bit lacking to me. It does set up some premises which could be interesting, but having the prologue cover just one scene is a little... hurr. But at least it's nice that you managed some pulling power with so less. I'll read on.

Part 1:

Uh, info is ok, but sentences run way off. Maaaaan...

Huh, they recovered. So I guess this beast ain't so destructive then.

Holy fuck this Cerice, so irritating.

Also, I am disliking your emphasis on baser things like physique and so on, but I suppose it helps to illuminate the scene some. But it must be said that I think your scenes are a little too light. Perhaps it's just your characters but I'll see when I read on.

If I ever. For now that will be all, I'll be reading the comments of my chief reader on your work.



Problem is, it was indeed a prologue! It'll make more sense later (heh, as if you even read the current ones)!

Part 2:

A bit of kisses and 'I love you'. ...ok. Foreshadowed in previous part or no, this is way promiscuous for my liking.

Also, coming from me this might seem queer, but the characters and dialogues are too LN-like. Particularly Cerice.

And again, it felt a little too thin for me.

Part 3:



Awful timing epitomized.

Ugh this relationship. Can't bear more of this.

And I think your spacing needs work. Forgot to mention it before. Other than that I liked it thus far, the writing is sufficiently vivid for me.

A sub for APC for POWC!

Too little time to be the main guy, haha. I would have quit if not for POWC.

Chocobo games in IX is totally better smh.

VII takes too much time if you wanna do it straight up.

Eugh another bullshit.

I need a Quasar + Nova XYZ and then I can start calling it epic.

I hate the new meta honestly. XYZ brought naught but faggotry the way I see it.

The moment we understand the brain, I'm first gonna ask for the ability to control sleep.

Damn coffee and long code running leading to boredom and sleepy-but-can't-sleep moments.

Limited to three. I like the host already.

Actually, would prefer one.

I find it baffling that the recorded loftiness of humanity in all those treasures not enough motivation for you.

Then again, I'm different from you. And in this regard, I hope to always be.

Well, it would be a miracle if you do. Considering you're lazy enough not to read all the treasures of humanity written by those legendary authors, it's hard to see you reading my work.

Hah, excuses. Either you read it or you don't, lol.

Been months since I wrote any fiction. Too busy with work.

And as conceited as it sounds, I must say, upon a small reread, my novel is so damn good.

Well, first, the story (mainly the meta-story) is clearly a solemn one. Therefore just having some kind of fanservice is already queer for such a story. While that is tolerable, okay, so people are such horny creatures they need sexual innuendos in their games, that still doesn't justify the excessive amount given in AT3 and from what I saw in the trailer, AnS (what's with that part where you have to grope the chicks wtf calling dibs on the 'justification' being no more than 'uh, I like groping').

Secondly, the dives. Finnel god Finnel. Never have I seen a cosmosphere as repulsive as thine. While the big eye is very understandably related to her life problems, the whole toilet and BDSM shenanigans is nothing but fanservice. Hell, Tilia's was boring as fuck (and a little innuendotastic) but it still managed to somehow be more decent than her. Saki... err, I would write on her but she seemed like the good kid archetype (read: boring*) and I don't remember anything inherently sexual with her cosmophere so whatever.

Third, those chicks-in-a-set thing. Hell, they didn't even do much plotwise. Even Aurica did more than them all (except Sakiya, Ar Ru and Suzuno) combined. "Hurr we're goddesses and our role** here is to strip so you can have more things to drool at."

And they threw all these bullshit in the finale of a trilogy I had stellar expectations for. I find it perfectly sensible for me and other fans to be salty**** and complaining about it. While I do like tiramisu and I fucking love a good juicy steak*****, any chef dumb enough to mix them in a plate will probably get a good dose of anger and be thought of a total retard. Similarly, you have such wonderful stories, solemn meta-story, great execution, ample opportunities for emotional connection, (of particular emphasis) beautiful hymns... but the representatives for these things are... actually, I doubt even sluts have those kind of bullshit in their subconscious mind. Smh Finnel. And to think YOU sang EXEC_FLIP_FUSIONSPHERE/. The gap is appalling.

And you see a prequel to the said trilogy showing signs of the same shenanigans? You get fucking careful. Just in case anyone is wondering, yes, Ar Tonelico is srs bsns.

* Not really her fault. Her problems are completely understandable given her personality/ideals, just that it's pretty ehh for me.

** I'm aware of their canon roles and I couldn't have guessed*** them if I hadn't read about it. Shows how of little importance they are, even at their main purpose.

*** Not entirely true. Those three exceptions made it fairly obvious. Still doesn't justify the existence of those extras sadly.

**** Milages vary.

***** Would you like a cup of BBQ Soda?

O-fucking-kay. I definitely don't see how a game involving sluts stripping can be any good, after the horror that is Ar Tonelico 3, but now I'm getting curious. You don't just make that kind of label lightheartedly.

But first; what forum are we taking about here? And the username of that guy?

I'm of the opinion Rogers and M30W should be declared inactive lest they reply within a day or so. Ceres never plays any smh.

Hell, Asa is active, we can just give him a second go by axing those johns.

I... don't see anything in that poem. Other than that it's a poem.

Contacted the person, no reply yet.

> Anime or game chicks
> Regular

Hmm... I'll have to think hard on that one.

We have no such thing. Not at 2 am. But coconut shake, maybe.