mibuchiha Posts

No specific part, just the overall feel of it. The solemn storytelling is something I keep striving for in my novel. Other than that the plot simply clicks with me, Dolvyre is very similar to some of my characters. Also, I'm looking up to the vibrant eloquence in your sentences, it describes things in great detail.

That said, I think you're throwing names and going into side details more than I would have liked. I understand that it's all part of the worldbuilding, but still, I maintain my claim that you could've focused more on plot rather than keywords. Not to say that going into details is bad, but at times I found it distracting.

Still, the way you weave the words together is something I respect. If you don't mind, it would be my pleasure if you can give my works a read and constructive criticism.

Never expected I'd post anything here again.

And never expected I'd feel like this again over a work posted here after AoA. I thought that was my last, really.

But this is a work of a man who knows how to write. I recommend this.

https://www.fakku.net/forums/writing-and-fanfiction/short-story-the-desert

Go read it. Or better, go read my work.

Two paragraphs in, and I'm already checking the dictionary almost ten times. Illiterate confirmed.

As much as I try to read every entry in this section (many of them backfired, like recently!) this is a bit tough to handle. But in a good way, so I'll try to persevere. Expect gradual edits of thoughts and impressions (thin as they'll probably be) in this post later on.

For now, I'll say I'm not a fan of overly fancy wording. It distracts from an otherwise straightforward storytelling to me.

Edit:

Ha. Fucking ha. I'm glad I decided to read this. After my last random let's-try-random-stuff attempt ended disgustingly, this one is a great refresher. I enjoyed it a lot. How I wish I have this writing ability for TSK.

Two things though. First, as I said above, I disliked the overabundance of fancy words. I'm illiterate, I get that, but I'm still fairly sure that you could've replaced those with more normal words while still keeping the solemn feel. Secondly, I find it difficult to see this as a short story.

Man, this is getting painful to watch. I guess I wasn't as lucky as I was with AoA. People are criticizing purely to help making this series better and that's how you respond to them? Man, how happy for me just to get some reader base, not to mention critical readers I can discuss things with. Talk about being ungrateful.

And yes, by the way, as far as I've read, it wasn't an action/adventure series, just a gallery of sweet nothings interspersed with some actionish elements. Thought I'd give it more chance when I feel less lazy, but not when the author herself is unable to love the work.

This song is apparently disliked, I find it hard to understand why. Sure, the Engrish is weird, but the loveliness more than makes up for it.




Oh my, a non-hymmnos post.

That part of you haven't changed I see.

As expected.

Funny that you thank an action done as mere courtesy.

Anyway, as common courtesy, congratulations for your marriage.

Expected of him.

Why so?

The girl drawn.

Kanade is well worth it.

Ah didn't know that.

Harem. Osananajimi.

I fail to see the action/adventure part of it anymore. This feels like SAO.

Weird. Danbo doesn't show here?

http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/753450?tags=qianshuhao

That you always do.

Alive, elated from just having updated, slightly bored.

I have one. Thus everyone is famous enough to have one.