mibuchiha Posts
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Finally made time for chapter 1. Didn't like Alice much, but she seems like she'd do well in my universe.
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Indeed.
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Nothing to mention. Just being busy having a life.
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Hard to believe. Haha.
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
I HAVE RETURNED.
Actually, not really. Busy as ever, no one really cares, and I was never actually gone. The place just got rather un-post-attractive.
Actually, not really. Busy as ever, no one really cares, and I was never actually gone. The place just got rather un-post-attractive.
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Was told that my claim earlier was invalid so here goes again.
<--- Her pic.
mibuchiha wrote...
Claiming Luca Trulywaath from Ar Tonelico 2 as my first waifu.<--- Her pic.
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
In the game, I am.
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Claiming Luca Trulywaath from Ar Tonelico 2 as my first waifu.
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Damn, busy as hell but made time for the prologue. Now I'm stuck with the I wanna read on but got to go feeling.
Will be coming back to this soon.
Will be coming back to this soon.
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
the lesson of the moth
i was talking to a moth
the other evening
he was trying to break into
an electric light bulb
and fry himself on the wires
why do you fellows
pull this stunt i asked him
because it is the conventional
thing for moths or why
if that had been an uncovered
candle instead of an electric
light bulb you would
now be a small unsightly cinder
have you no sense
plenty of it he answered
but at times we get tired
of using it
we get bored with the routine
and crave beauty
and excitement
fire is beautiful
and we know that if we get
too close it will kill us
but what does that matter
it is better to be happy
for a moment
and be burned up with beauty
than to live a long time
and be bored all the while
so we wad all our life up
into one little roll
and then we shoot the roll
that is what life is for
it is better to be a part of beauty
for one instant and then cease to
exist than to exist forever
and never be a part of beauty
our attitude toward life
is come easy go easy
we are like human beings
used to be before they became
too civilized to enjoy themselves
and before i could argue him
out of his philosophy
he went and immolated himself
on a patent cigar lighter
i do not agree with him
myself i would rather have
half the happiness and twice
the longevity
but at the same time i wish
there was something i wanted
as badly as he wanted to fry himself
i was talking to a moth
the other evening
he was trying to break into
an electric light bulb
and fry himself on the wires
why do you fellows
pull this stunt i asked him
because it is the conventional
thing for moths or why
if that had been an uncovered
candle instead of an electric
light bulb you would
now be a small unsightly cinder
have you no sense
plenty of it he answered
but at times we get tired
of using it
we get bored with the routine
and crave beauty
and excitement
fire is beautiful
and we know that if we get
too close it will kill us
but what does that matter
it is better to be happy
for a moment
and be burned up with beauty
than to live a long time
and be bored all the while
so we wad all our life up
into one little roll
and then we shoot the roll
that is what life is for
it is better to be a part of beauty
for one instant and then cease to
exist than to exist forever
and never be a part of beauty
our attitude toward life
is come easy go easy
we are like human beings
used to be before they became
too civilized to enjoy themselves
and before i could argue him
out of his philosophy
he went and immolated himself
on a patent cigar lighter
i do not agree with him
myself i would rather have
half the happiness and twice
the longevity
but at the same time i wish
there was something i wanted
as badly as he wanted to fry himself
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
A lot!
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Oh, outwardly speaking, I am always fine. Physical threats are not too common these days.
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Hm. Nothing appropriate for a public discussion I would say.
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Sad about?
Nothing much, just messing around while waiting for my program to finish running.
Nothing much, just messing around while waiting for my program to finish running.
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Well, better no activity than a boring one. So what's up you mortals?
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Long time no post. This thread is only a book log now.
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Dropping by to express my excitement at AoA finally getting out of hiatus.
That is all.
That is all.
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Xenon wrote...
They're a lot of fun when you're a teenager, but I grew out of them because I stopped being so bored with myself that I had nothing better to do than to role-play as someone who was similar to myself but more gifted in a fictionally social setting. These are pretty common in AIM and ICQ chat rooms.A+.
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
OH damn if only I wan't too sleepy I would be laughing in surprise. I didn't mean this one, Logophile! When I asked you to give a read, I meant something else!
https://www.fakku.net/forums/writing-and-fanfiction/still-untitled-p4
But of course, if you want to continue reading this, then it is all my pleasure. However please keep in mind that aside from this being my first attempt to write, it was also much less edited/proofread and therefore will contain a LOT more mistakes. When writing this, I wrote simply to write, just for the hell of it. Aha.
Responses to the comment itself. I will skip over the grammar mistakes since those are just facts, and I need to correct those.
New word learned. Just wow.
Hmm... been years, so even I'm not sure about the intended meaning anymore. Will have to recall and revisit later.
Take this with a grain of salt, but I think this has to do with the inertia feeling, that he wants to just go where he's already going. I'm not exactly sure how to convey that, and as I said, I don't really remember the details.
No, it's ok. Much appreciated.
Lol, the reason of this has to do with an embarrassing past so just pretend it's a different dude!
In KnH, nope, nothing. It was just a hint to my second big project, TSK, which is what I wanted you to attack.
Not going to correct it here, but damn, this strikes me hard. Need to be VERY careful of this when writing TSK.
Absolutely right. This is another lesson I need to always keep in mind.
https://www.fakku.net/forums/writing-and-fanfiction/still-untitled-p4
But of course, if you want to continue reading this, then it is all my pleasure. However please keep in mind that aside from this being my first attempt to write, it was also much less edited/proofread and therefore will contain a LOT more mistakes. When writing this, I wrote simply to write, just for the hell of it. Aha.
Responses to the comment itself. I will skip over the grammar mistakes since those are just facts, and I need to correct those.
“Walks lazily”, I’m okay with the use of adverbs unlike some people, though I’m wondering if a stronger verb that implies his laziness would work. Maybe amble?
New word learned. Just wow.
The two “because’s” tripped me up. Seeing a repetition of subordinators (because, if, as, when, etc.) usually grates on people’s reading because of the tempo—I think—unless it's intended as parallelism. There is a way to merge the second two sentences to avoid this awkward "because of...because", but I'm worried about loss of meaning.
Hmm... been years, so even I'm not sure about the intended meaning anymore. Will have to recall and revisit later.
This might need expanding. He's supposed to be lazy, but there needs to be an illustration. The second paragraph gives a clear opportunity to see his laziness override his curiosity. Although it's shown slightly in this paragraph, I think Ryushi's peeking is contrary to his laziness here. Stare here could work, he stares for a second and then moves on ignoring the girl's excitement. Then again uninterestedness might not be the same as laziness. This is thy call though. Feel free to keep it.
Take this with a grain of salt, but I think this has to do with the inertia feeling, that he wants to just go where he's already going. I'm not exactly sure how to convey that, and as I said, I don't really remember the details.
Also in that sentence "doing /that/ flashy stuff". "That" is acting as adverb here; those is the plural demonstrative pronoun of that and isn't used as an adverb. Sorry, got grammatical...
No, it's ok. Much appreciated.
Second, I'm not a person who likes the author in their own work, unless they're just in and out, like a cameo, but this seems like an important role, so....
Lol, the reason of this has to do with an embarrassing past so just pretend it's a different dude!
Noticing a motif here. So books are involved in some way. His powers might based on the contents of his library, that is the books he's read.
In KnH, nope, nothing. It was just a hint to my second big project, TSK, which is what I wanted you to attack.
Now this is something that I've become aware of: an author treats their main character as the only capable of doing something and having their enemies for simple tricks like this. Sometimes, it's best to ask thyself: if I were in the place of my main character's enemy, and having the same information that my enemy does, what would I do? If it comes to mindless things, those can be written off as they can't think. This can be a mistake too.
Not going to correct it here, but damn, this strikes me hard. Need to be VERY careful of this when writing TSK.
Summary: Add more description; rework the fighting scene and final snippet; don't state a character's feelings and don't reveal people's inner thoughts; finally, the character's feel like stereotypes, so work on developing them more.
Absolutely right. This is another lesson I need to always keep in mind.
mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
The Logophile wrote...
mibuchiha wrote...
If you don't mind, it would be my pleasure if you can give my works a read and constructive criticism. Yeah, I have no problem doing that. Should I comment on the stories' threads or private message?
Oh, thank you! The threads, please.