Rbz Posts

I can see the appeal. It's monster hunter with giant fucking robots. If it was on steam, I'd tag it "like skyrim, but with godzirra and guns." The problem with the gameplay, however, is that the feedback is fucking lame. I can understand assault rifles being shit, but how do the guns on a giant fucking robot manage to emulate pea shooters. Have these people never played Armored Core? The gunplay should sound—and generally feel—powerful. Then again, the monsters themselves don't really provide much feedback at all. I wouldn't know they could take damage if it weren't for the health bars and obnoxious numbers. They don't even bleed, which I suspect is related to the platform the game's being released on.

I'm sure this title will be a huge succeeded.

It's happening.

Nigga, even though EA raped Bioware, bee dub cranked out ME1 and DAO before EA could assume full control. Everything after that was blatantly casualized garbage, because EA wanted to "appeal to a wider audience," which means dumbing-down the game so that even the downers waar victimizes with his cane wielding droogies in canuckville can enjoy headshotting aliens with whatever working motor functions the droogs graciously allowed them to keep. Combat wasn't the real focus of ME1. The first couple of hours spent running around the citadel are arguably some the best you'll spend in the game. Characters, narrative and lots of talking. That's what ME1 was about. The sci-fi setting and space exploration aspect made the game reminiscent of Star Trek. ME2 implemented babby's first rpg mechanics and started evolving into gears of war (and Bioware never pressed B to stop it). Fewer missions, shit space exploration, a nonsensical last boss and worthless plot (i.e., at the end of ME1 the reapers were coming; at the end of ME2 the reapers were coming). The only redeeming quality was the new characters. ME3 tried to be more like ME1 but still managed to fuck everything up. There were fewer dialogue choices, chobot was there, the plot was raped, space exploration was reduced to farting in solar systems and running away from any reapers who came to relish the scent, the game completed its evolution into gears of war, it was polished by a spiky dildo made of diamond, day 1 dlc, Tali's face, babby's first rpg mechanics leveled up, space magic, and "we hoped you liked the game, now buy dlc pls."

ToR was such a fuck-up they made it F2P.



Good thing that won't happen again. I'll be so glad when Inquisition turns out to be the casualized shitpile EA will force it to be, but on the off chance it turns out to be good, I get to be pleasantly surprised; win-win.

Commencing bioware dump:

These people don't know what the fuck they're talking about. You and I both know the true discussion lies not in whether it's offensive, but if it's gay. This is a very nuanced topic that requires rigorous intellectual scrutiny. I'll begin:



Is it a feminine dick?
Here I am, still posting in IB. Old habits can't be murdered, it seems.

Jesus fucking christ, look at this broken record. I know I shouldn't still be here, but bear with me. Gather 'round, kids, english class is in session:

You've mastered buttmad. Good for you, kiddo. Now forget it.

Let's look at the online textbook:



I'm going to write some more on the board. Take fucking notes.



And after all this, make sure to know when they're feeling . . .



You're welcome.

Started Pokemon Y a couple of days ago.

Pokemon-amie is the work of evil. Nothing should be allowed to give fourth-degree burns to my heart's cockles like that. Nothing. Yet there I am, holding a giant cupcake near the face of the firefoxâ„¢ I started with. Japs fucking love their kawaii.

Haven't played a poke game in over 10 years. This one is genuinely good. It's noticeable how much effort has been put into detail, and the devs took advantage of the 3D rendering of the environments with judicious camera work. The game was also clearly not made with the 3D screen effect in mind, because not only is it implemented in limited circumstances, but its use typically kills the frame rate. Even without the effect the frame rate still drops during battles. Thus, my only complaint is that this game isn't well optimized for the 3DS. At least it has a nice aesthetic, which makes up for the shitty graphics. (I don't have high graphical standards for the 3DS in the first place, but the low res textures and aliasing are rather conspicuous.

Although I've never noticed it as a kid, this dual release shit (e.g., Red & Blue, X & Y) the pokemon company does is just a method of trolling wannabe pokemon masters. Gotta catch 'em all is a jedi mind trick, suckas. Also, super training is a waste of life. Never again.

Au contraire, Ser Pounce-a-lot; 'twas naught but a simple jest. I wouldn't dare trouble your prestigious title of "Lord of the Flies," eh?



It's a bit similar to that Tourette's "tard" tic of yours. You can't help downer bombing and I can't help blathering inanely with some flair. Nigga, did you see that trifecta of alliteration two sentences ago? Smokin' sick style.

Whatever, we've had our little tiff for old time's sake, so my job is essentially done here. By the way, Ser Pounce-a-lot is a reference to a cat from a Bioware game. I remember a thread a while back where you claimed to like Bioware more than some other dev. Do you still vidya?

Riddle me this: how can I be b-ampersand when waar's protecting me? You see his avatar? I'm the duck. Unfortunately, he cropped out the bit where I have a giant floppy duck dong.

A day in the life of me:

No one understands my suffering.

I'm just trying to run a hopeless presidential race here. Vote Rbzizzle. I only abuse my authority on weekends.

It also didn't take long for you to resort to the age-old waar cliché. "W-w-well you're a retard!" Step down, senpai. Let me govern this bouncy castle while you do homework. My opinion matrix uses updated files, too. A garden of eden this place shall be.

I appreciate you wanting to snuggle with me, but I wouldn't want to monopolize IB's personal plushie; how scandalous. It's hard to feel intimidated when you're lord of the hugbox.



You play your cards right and he'll give you anything you want. Notice how quickly I managed to provoke him into offering his kawaii cuddles.

You'd see more if you went outside the Inane Blathering section. Step it up, senpai.

Got another one:
>not putting the game down and looking at Monster Hunter doujins like this.
Udon-ya makes the best, though.

>Not spending hours farming for every available material just in case they come in handy some day
>Not spending hours going on free-roam, capturing and killing until you can eventually convert it into 10,000 resources
>Not leveling up chum-chum
>Not going to the farm to snuggle with poogie
>Not fighting Diablos 20 times because of a single rare material
>Not prance gesturing on corpses
What are you, a fucking casual?

The NSA outsourced file maintenance to Canada.

Kool-aid's for pedophiles. I drink vodka and piss holy water. We've interacted enough times for you to know this shit. Update that file you keep on me; make sure it also says I invented the Russian Pimpslap. Furthermore, I urge you to scrutinize all your files. Remember when Shotty Too Hotty found your identity dubious? Your file on cruz737 was outdated and thus your evaluation algorithm cranked out some bullshit.

Doesn't make sense? Good! That's what you get for not immediately assuming everything I say is facetious dickery. I was serious about this being a Waar snuggle thread, though. Those supplies won't last long.
[size=1]This is just my way of saying "hi."[/h]

Did Purple Ludroth. 25 minutes. Got back to town and saw multiple pages of 6 star quests. Shit ton of new materials, too. Haha, nope. I'm done. That's at least 30 or so more hours of play, assuming I get lucky drops. Moving on to Pokemon.

So this is the result of years of psychological warfare? I'm impressed, Waario. Good thing only you and I know why your avatar is of a cat being gentle to potential prey.

I just popped in here to say that this is now a Waar snuggle thread. Mosey on over and get cozy. The first order of business is to stop, drop, and pet the canuck. Make him purr.



Act now while supplies last.

Just beat him. Got lucky, too, since I started going apeshit when I had 5 minutes left. A CG cutscene played, which is rare, so either I'm in post-game, or there's more faggotry afoot and now god himself wants to bitchslap the village. Is this one of those games that doesn't want to acknowledge it's over by never playing the credits? It's telling me about "subspecies," which seems to be moonspeak for "we're out of shit, so how about you fight the same kind of monster on hard mode." I'll play along for now. Misty Peaks is unlocked and that's where I'll get my next sword upgrade.

63 hours in.

Got full Diablos yesterday. I like the sense of pride that comes with really cool new equipment, which is well deserved since I know that I had to work for that shit, unlike lazy pricks in other games who find Diablos wannabe armor in a treasure chest hastily hidden under a few leaves with a sign next to it that says, "The leaves are sleeping. Do not disturb." It looks just as badass as advertised, and seeing it with the 3D effect warms my cockles. Either fighting Diablos 20 times made me a rape tier monster hunter, or the Diablos armor makes me such a damage sponge that I stopped giving a shit about "safety first." Regardless, I now do the prance gesture next to corpses, which is what I've had to settle for since the game won't let me piss on them. Anyway, I'm almost done with the village and everyone's telling me to go victimize Ceadeus. I assume that's the last boss. I won't be doing high rank because I have 5 other games to play, including Fire Emblem and Pokemon Y. I also still have yet to buy Bravely Default.

I'd say the game was definitely worth 20 bucks and I'm glad I got it. So far, all the "midget fights giant monsters" games I've played recently have been good. Dark Souls, Dragon's Dogma, and now MH3U. One thing I really appreciate with this game is that, since the whole focus is on giant monsters, the devs created a good amount of variety among them. A lot of them do share similar movesets, however. In fact, I go into battles against new monsters asking, "Who do you fight like?" For example, the Royal Ludroth is just practice for Lagiacrus. Jaggi, Baggi and Wroggi are the same. The Barroth is just a less vicious version of Diablos. Then there's the bear bear, the snow bear and the armadillo bear. This doesn't really detract from the experience as the similar attack patterns are superficial and the monsters typically have attacks exclusive to them; after fighting Diablos, Barroth became a pushover, because Barroth is too much of a pussy to strategically retreat underground before trying to stick a giant horn up my ass like a vindictive prick. Overall, MH3U has provided me with an interesting and unique experience, which is precisely why I came to this thread in the first place.

Final rating: would eventually play high rank/10