The Jesus Posts

I sell my ass hair to small rodents as material to make their nests. I rarely get money in return, but its a fulfilling job in itself. When I see the joy in their beady little eyes as they go scurrying off to their homes with a bundle of my ass hair, it warms my heart.

Silly, you don't get groped in jail, you get raped.

Haha... you got it. When in doubt, whip out ya dick.

If she ever calls you a pervert again grab a kitten by the head, squeeze it until you crush it's skull, and suck the brain out of the eye sockets. That'll show her who the real pervert is.

We, humans, are not the wind, we are just leaves. Regardless of where we want to be, we have no choice but to go where the wind takes us. All things are subject to their own laws, but when 2 things interact, the laws of that which is greater supersede all other laws. A leaf being carried by the wind is still a leaf, and naturally, it follows the laws that govern the leaf, but nonetheless, it will still be carried by the wind.

I don't know the exact reason why I sometimes wake up with an erection, but there are days that I have morning erections because I happen to be squeaking the weasel in the morning.

Oh gosh! I have enough trouble believing that men and women have sex in positions other than missionary. The idea that a person could have sex with a member of their own family is way too much for me. You must be Satan for overloading my pious mind with sinful abominations.




Not everyone agrees on the details, but fucking is a natural part of being alive. There are certain things that I don't think are right, but my opinion doesn't really matter. Does it?

Congratulations Mr.godotccf!

There really isn't any reason to congratulate you, but anyway...

YOU GET A PRIZE!!!

What if it isn't people, and they aren't "trying" to scare you?

fix'd

I'm not sure if I fit into any category. I joined because it was free and then started posting in the forums.

Its understandable, Kanu is epic and one of the reasons why she was one of my reclaims is because of the respect I have for her. If I didn't have her as my waifu, anyone would be lucky to have her.

Don't get the wrong idea though. If anyone, and I do mean anyone, even looks at Kanu, or any of my waifu for that matter, in any way that I perceive to be inappropriate or disrespectful, I won't hesitate to gouge their eyes out, eat them, shit in the empty sockets, hang them upside down from my ceiling, and torture them for as long as I can before they die the most horrible death possible. I don't know what other people think, but this "game" and my waifu are serious fucking business.

Then again, if I ever had to give up Kanu or any of my other waifu, no one would ever consider claiming one of them simply because they'd make a "perfect fuck partner"... right?

I really haven't been "scared" by horror movies. In fact, Disney movies have a better record of scaring the shit out of me than any of the "horror" bullshit Hollywood has produced.

I don't give a shit and I'm The Jesus, and a real Elder, so my opinion counts.

I'm not really down for incest. Whatever floats your boat is cool, but right now, incest sinks mine. I don't really know much about my family, except that the majority of them are rich assholes or just assholes, period. There are 3, not including my dead brother, relatives that I consider family and the rest, I don't even know. When I was really young I thought my cousin was cute, but taking into account what I know about her, by now she's either a whore or someone who would make me seem respectable, by comparison.

In short, the closest I would ever get to incest would be if I hooked up with the girl who used to be the girl next door. We grew up together and aside from my mom, my uncle, and my grandma, she's more a part of a family than anyone alive who shares any trace of my blood.

A doctor gives a patient medication to help him quit smoking...

There was this one guy from my neighborhood, I don't really know much about him except that he went to school with my mom, fought in Vietnam, came back perfectly normal, and got into LSD, hard. Apparently, it wasn't the war that made him go insane, it was the acid, but that mother fucker was insane. He would just sit on his porch rambling about the war and a bunch of shit that was, as far as I remember, incoherent. I don't know if he's dead or not, but a while back he fell asleep on his couch while smoking a cigarette and it almost burned down the entire apartment building he was living in. For some reason, he was airlifted to a hospital and I never heard anything about him after that.

Thinking about it now, there are a number of really good hospitals within a few miles of our neighborhood and there's less than a 30% chance that his injuries were so severe that he would've needed to be rushed to one via helicopter. There have been worse situations around here and I only saw ambulances. I'm not gonna rush to any conclusions, but there could've been more to the situation than what was made public.

It would be awesome if swine flu turned you into a sick pig.

...

One can dream, right?

When I was in the hospital with a really bad staph infection in my leg and one of my doctors told me that I might have gotten HIV from shooting up. The tests came back negative, but that was probably the scariest experience I've ever been through.

That shit was boring as fuck, with a touch of silliness. Honestly I don't know how that shit happens to people, but if I was him, I'd be asking someone to shoot me in the head. That dude was moving around and shit. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, he probably didn't feel it, but moving around would just make shit worse.




If you find the video post a link, its relevant to my interests...