Ask Bun Bun - Circe's Advice Column

Hee...sou ka.
Also what to do about a boy who is too shy to ask me out? :c

you can allways be be proactive c:

Agreed. If the prey won't come to you, then you go to the prey. Just make it as causal as possible.

But let's hear Bun Bun has to say first.

If you like him, tell him so. He may not think he has a chance with you. He may be waiting for the right moment. He may not like you that way. But it would be better to just have a talk about your feelings than to wait around for him to do anything.

Or you can do something romantic for him like make him a cute thing or suggest you meet up in a nice place for a "date" or something. Guys...don't work well with subtlety. So don't be shy, use your outspoken voice.

And make a recording so we can all watch.

I know from safe source that he likes me more than friends, but is too shy to ask me out, because he is afraid of a rejection + my reaction. I tried to make him somewhat comfy, but he is so shy and so nervous! He tries to hide it, but I can clearly see his nervousness written on his face.

Hee...I am more curious about his romantic side, so I kind of want him to show me that step and what his romantic side is capable of! I want to get surprised~

Even so I am not in love with him, but also am not averse~

try it, you might never know what may grow from it.

I think it's a very feminine notion to want the man to be the one to initiate the relationship. We want him to be the one to acknowledge the feelings so we can glow brightly and accept his love and return it. It's romantic and makes us feel special.

In the real world though, guys aren't always like that. Especially a shy person like the one you're describing. Who knows how long you could be waiting. I would rather be happy in a relationship, than waste time waiting for someone else to acknowledge it.

Then again, I prefer confidence over coquettishness in women. I agree with melfy that challenging social norms of who intiates what in relationships will help you grow and mature. Just please don't resort to having a friend confess your feelings for you. Or I'll put you back in kindergarten. You might as well write a "Do you like me, yes? no?" note and put it in his bag, lol.

Seriously though, in the end, it's up to your own personal romantic style. You can drop every hint in the book and hope he picks up on it. Good luck to you.

Hai hai...it´s not that I want to feel special or that I want all the attention, more like if he can surprise me. If he can bring up the courage to say it, that he can speak his mind. Those things are big plusses to me. I value those high.

I will observe for now and look what happens next to fit the moment.
Thank you~

I learned more about women from these posts. Thanks Circe and Kirsikka.

What if he never has that courage? What if he never says anything? Then you don't want to think about a relationship with him?

Well those may be big plusses to me, but they don´t decide the relationship.
The point is, I don´t know how he is going to be like when he feels comfy with me to talk with me about everything~
So I will just see what happens next...

@shotty hee...I wonder if it did o,o

It did. You must understand. My knowledge when it comes to women is piss poor, for lack of a better term. I always see women as blunt and judgmental. I know it isn't true but I got this feeling like I'm being constantly judged. And my social idiocy spikes around women because I don't have many RL females who I am friends with. I have always been fine with breaking social norms of dating. I wouldn't mind if a girl came to me and admitted her feelings but I'm going to a all-boy school so I won't be able to have benefit to go to the real dating scene waters until I start college. And I'm gonna need all the help I can get. Besides being a gentlemen, I don't how else to treat a woman. I don't know how to romanatic and stuff. I know I can do it but I'm scared to see the fruits of my labors.

Saying this for general, I believe most boys are scared of talking to pretty women, because they expect a rejection. In truth though, those women don´t get talked much, because under the assumption that she may have already a boyfriend or she will reject you anyway or other various reasons.

You shouldn´t be scared, shy or nervous, I believe it´s easier said than done, but what is the worst you can get? A rejection.
I dunno how tough a rejection is to you, to me it is for the moment a small disappointment, but then I just forget it and I say to myself "At least I spoke my mind and I am free from those thoughts". However, I didn´t ask for dates as many times as I got asked.

Oh, there are women which are blunt and judgemental, but that goes for both genders I would say.

Everyone thinks that if a girl wants something romantic, they think it must be always something super special and uniqe with a lot of effort. In truth though, well at least for me, it´s mostly the small things in life that make it romantic.

so then wat do if no one really piques your interest?

You didn´t meet the right girl then or am I misunderstanding you now?

I just don't think it always has to be the guy that asks. That's not always got to be the guy's responsibility, it's out-of-date thinking. If the feelings are mutual, it could come from either person. If I find a guy attractive and I have a connection with him, there is nothing wrong with me letting him know my feelings just like there's nothing wrong with him saying it to me. The girl waiting...bothers me. It's like a step backwards for women or something.

@Shotty If you keep saying something is wrong with the way you socially interact with people, then you will continue to project that something is wrong. Confidence, my friend, confidence.

yeah, like that.

Well, given the circumstances that I spent the past like I dunno, 9 Years in girlless parts of the world/ parts where girls are sparse
(had 5 in my class during middle school, maybe 15 or so in High school. 8 in the army. Machinic engeneering and Computer studies arent the most girl-taken subjects either)

[align=justify][color=green][font=verdana]That's because they're not MEN.

I have talked to you about that, you know why :c I don´t want to write it into public now.



And now you talk to me after you ignored me :I

yes Mom.