I Love My Best Friend. Confess? Don't Confess?

I would say, do it. But if you're unsure, it would probably be a good idea to consider which you'd regret more - confessing and losing her, or never confessing your feelings and wondering what could have been if you had.

Confess, if she rejects you end your friendship with her and move on. If you stay friends it would be like a crown of thorns. Not only that if she found herself some one else, it would kill me. So just get it over with, and continue moving forward.

I agree with the being a pussy statements. You've waited FAR too long, if any spark was between you, it would have been ages ago. you have been stuck in the friend zone for probably 5 years now. But, there is the saying that goes something along the lines of this: 'if a man and woman spend a lot of time with each other, eventually they will fall for each other'
Long story short, If you like her, and she's single, ask her.

Up sides for asking her:
- She may say yes
- you'll get a great burden off your chest
- It'll make things less awkward
- you'd know lots about her (some people have been going out for years and still finding shit out)

Downsides:
- If she says no, it may become very awkward between you
- if she says no, she could find it very weird and not talk to your for ages
- you may find things very awkward

So basically, go for it. what's the worst that can happen?

Also, I once liked somebody for 7 years and never told her.. I'm fairly sure she knew.. went to ask her out later on the 7th year, and i got interrupted (didn't actually ask it) by her friends, who took her away.. But anyway, i never asked her out, moved on with my life, and now i have a girlfriend. moral of this story, it's probably not worth it. man up, and move on.

Westermarck Effect wouldn't be a factor. She would have been 16 when they met based on ages and length of time.

And it's not the reason why childhood crushed go unrequited. Not unless they were very very very early childhood. Westermarck only affects people for about the first 4 years of life at most. And it would require them to be in constant with each other.

[font=verdana][color=green]Nah, don't ask her out. She's either:

1[size=20]:[/h] A lesbian, caused by your pussy-footing around.

2[size=20]:[/h] Not a lesbian, so she wouldn't go out with your pussy ass.

Maybe you should date one of her friends.

If you confess, you might lose you're friendship, if you don't confess, you won't have a romantic relationship

decide what you want and go for it

Sorry I was really drunk last night. Getting over this relationship (ended last week), The thing about being in love is that things may not work out. Statistically half of marriages end in divorce, so that means people fall out of love or it means they did not realize they were in love to begin with. But if you think you truly love someone, you still got to take that chance and go for it. Part of love is putting your heart and ego and everything on the line for someone else. If you are willing to do that then you have to go for it so you won't go through life thinking what if. Most of my relationship were some of the best times of my life and I'm hoping we can work stuff out and get back together. even with all the heartbreak, if I could go back and time and do it all over again, I would.

So do what you think is right.

First of all thanks guys your helping even if you don't know.. and for the missunderstanding, I only started loving her recently (I think)

Do what you want, talk to your friends, a forum isn't the best place for advise like this.
But if you want a honest opinion, you don't even have a chance, you would have knew all those years if she interested in you.

I agree about the forums part, but I'm not the kind of person that likes alot of people, I don't like someone just by looking at them. I need to have know someone for a while before I can start talking about love.

Sad but true, it may be harsh but you should expect some rougher comments, youre the one asking for help, we give you the options. I highly doubt that you will get anything out of her, 7 years is a fucking long time, but in case that you really cant get over it just use a little charm, like said dates, invitations etc. im sure she will notice what youre aiming at, if she gives in go for it, also that you need time to start liking a person and that you want to know her well is a lame ass excuse here, I mean 2,3 months is more than enough for that, ok if it even was a year, but 7 no way, man up, do what you gotta do, if you cant leave it and move on.

You clearly havn't read the post and only the comments

Youre the one who is not reading properly I never implied that you loved her for 7 years, I'm saying that its LATE after 7 years, and that you should have discovered your feelings sooner. Most people know what they feel after 2-3 months, max. a year, that you started loving her recently is the problem, you should have noticed sooner or taken interest sooner.

I'm not most people!

it's not something that is "late" after 7 years
and it's not "something you can notice sooner"
you know, people change as years goes by: sometimes for the better, in maturity, in personality, in physical aspects, ect.
and sometimes you just end up changing the way you look at them
maybe you start having feelings for them...
stop being hard on nightlife

I know exactly what you mean nightlife, I had a somewhat similar situation.

I agree with pretty much everyone else though. You're probably gonna end up feeling like shit/depressed for a bit if you even bother. Not to mention that as mentioned before, confessing is a pretty lameass way to go about it (I learned that more from personal experience then anything). I do agree, you need to man the fuck up and move on. also, reporting someone for giving you honesty shows you how much of a child you are: Grow up, get over it and move on.

Quit fucking around and just tell her.
Shit like this is either a hit or miss, and if you're shy around her in general, you probably already fucked yourself over already.
So man up, and get it over with.

I sort of had this type of problem but it was when I was in a relationship with a younger person. She fell for me and I didn't. She asked me out (Jr. High school way) and I gave the relationship a chance. But the big problem was that I didn't even try but she did. So as our relationship was going down she started to stop trying. I eventually started to fall for her during the downfall.

So what I'm trying to say is that it's okay if you start to develop feelings for her after being her friend for 7 years. Everything takes time. She may have developed feelings for you too during those past 7 years being your friend. Just carefully think it out and talk to her about it.

Obviously not because you seem to be some sort of super-pussy incapable of being a real man.


7 years you've known her. You HAD to have some attraction to her or you wouldn't be her friend to begin with. You had to have some pretty decent attraction to her to stay friends (if as close as you make it sound when I'm beginning to even doubt) for seven years. And it would have to be some major attraction for quite sometime for you to even consider the love part.

And seriously, if you take seven years to realize you like like a girl then you're still a child who will remain an eternal virgin.

But regardless of all of this. She's already made up her mind about you in these seven years. You're now classified as fuckable or not fuckable. And I'm just going to outright tell you that you're in the not fuckable category because you would know if you were in the fuckable one. Women are not as subtle as you think they are.

Alright, so you might have some chance because of changing and all? Well the truth is, most people don't change that much from how they are in high school. They might tone things down, or express things in slightly different forms now, but the way they are at the core rarely changes, and 7 years is not that long of time to change, IF you were actively trying to change.

The fact that it took you 7 fucking years to apparently try and do something about your feelings (yeah you've had them all this time, deal with it.) doesn't say much for you being a proactive changer, especially given that you still think confessing is a good idea. Adults don't confess like that. They fucking ask the woman out on a date. Confess is a high school attitude. Which means you're still thinking in a High School attitude. Which means your pussy self is the same pussy self that was cracking his voice in high school.

But let's say you did change (you didn't) but lets say you did.

Well you might have had a chance of convincing her of this change, maybe 3-4 years ago at best. But now? Her idea of you is so solidified that the only way you'll even have a chance of getting her to look at you differently is to stay out of her life for a couple of years at least and then come back actually different enough for her to notice.

She won't bother trying to go with you now on the basis that you could change because no women wants to be around a little bitch unless their sadistic, and if they are into the whole S&M thing then you would have already known.

Bottomline. You don't have a chance. Confessing would be the worse thing and would destroy what little friendship you have. At least asking her out would be manly and while you would be rejected would at least make you feel more like a man for next time.

And get over this 7 year shit. You don't need 7 years to know if you want to try dating a girl. Don't wait until you think you're in love. By then you'll miss your chance and won't ever get the girl. Strike when you think there is a chance. You'll get to know a girl well enough through dating.

And remember, most of the people supporting you still think confessing is a good idea.

Confessing is a high school fantasy. It's only place outside of that is crappy chick flicks you take a chick to get her in the mood.