I Love My Best Friend. Confess? Don't Confess?
Should I go forwarc with this and:
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NightLife wrote...
I'm not most people!LOL. That's what most people say about themselves but usually they're wrong.
Anyways actual advice part:
Takerial is pretty much right I got to say....I mean the way he says it is in an ass hat way (IMO) but you know he's giving you like the hard cold cons about you confessing to her. So you should be semi-thankful. I mean it is possible that she is waiting for you but you have like a >1% chance of that actually being the case. Stuff you see in plot lines are generally over exaggerated/unrealistic. If that girl were me you are most likely in the deep bottomless friend zone pit. I know you're trying to make the point that you've only started to realize that you love her now but....damn snooze you lose. If anything she might even see you as a brother so it would make is more weird. Talking from personal experience, I dated my best friend but I broke up with him because I realized I could only see him as a older brother and never as a Significant other. So unless your curiosity is ruining your life, save your friendship (that you seem to cherish, I mean why else would you stick around for 7 years?) and don't confess.
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Takerial
Lovable Teddy Bear
Meh, there is one way to get out the friend zone in this type of situation, but there's no way his bitch ass would do it.
Heck, there's no way he'd actually confess or do anything about his little crush anyways so meh.
Heck, there's no way he'd actually confess or do anything about his little crush anyways so meh.
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Well when it comes to friendzones, you won't have a chance if you're a friendzoned guy.
On relationships, women have 2 ladders and men have one.
In op's case, he friendzoned his friend and eventually started to like her.
However, if op was friendzoned, he won't be able to cross to the dating later, no matter what.
On relationships, women have 2 ladders and men have one.
In op's case, he friendzoned his friend and eventually started to like her.
However, if op was friendzoned, he won't be able to cross to the dating later, no matter what.
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Scary for sure, but if it were me I'd take the chance. No regrets. And if she rejects you, dont puss out and take it back, tell her you cant be close friends anymore... you need space. A girl can change her mind... one way is to put some time and space. She might take another look at you from a fresh perspective when she's missing her best friend.
And i read your post and comments. love bloomed and now you want to date her... maybe. lol. figure out if you love her first for real and then confess. love is a great thing... dont waste your time here thinking about it if its what you feel. I've confessed 2x and was successful both times. i had to wait for my third bf, but i was clear about my feelings when i felt them... he was a close friend, then i told him i couldnt be with him anymore, we were together within a week. He missed me.
And i read your post and comments. love bloomed and now you want to date her... maybe. lol. figure out if you love her first for real and then confess. love is a great thing... dont waste your time here thinking about it if its what you feel. I've confessed 2x and was successful both times. i had to wait for my third bf, but i was clear about my feelings when i felt them... he was a close friend, then i told him i couldnt be with him anymore, we were together within a week. He missed me.
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He developed feelings for her after 7 years, so why do you say that there's no way the girl could have?
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luvyduv wrote...
it's not something that is "late" after 7 yearsand it's not "something you can notice sooner"
you know, people change as years goes by: sometimes for the better, in maturity, in personality, in physical aspects, ect.
and sometimes you just end up changing the way you look at them
maybe you start having feelings for them...
stop being hard on nightlife
Sure, but do you really think that without a single notice he just started to love his best friend after 7 years? I mean sorry if youre going to talk about attraction, maturity and personality changes they happen but this is more something like a built up emotion, its friendship that has turned out to be love, he has been with her during all these changes for 7 years, he liked her as a best friend, now he views her differently, I doubt these feelings came out of nowhere, there is a certain distance you have between friends and hes obviously trying to get further after 7 years of just simply liking her as a friend, so basically hes just a slowpoke that didnt consider the possiblity of actually loving her until the shit happened, if he had the guts to strictly view her as a friend this wouldnt have happened, half-assed feelings gave him this situation.
NightLife wrote...
I'm not most people!Strong defense bro, you asked for an opinion, you go it! I can generally tell you what to do, if youre a special case I cant possibly give you an opinion that will suit you without even knowing you. If you cant take that something said something negative and just behave like a pussy you shouldnt have asked for help from strangers in the first place.
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NightLife wrote...
1st. I havn't said I liked her for 7 years. Read more next time2nd. Stop commenting if you've got nothing important else to do but trolking.
3rd. REPORTED
4th. I'm not replying to you anymore so don't bother with it
... You came to a section to ask for advice, then you report the advice you get?
I think you've misunderstood their point. They're being truthful, even if in a harsh way.
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Takerial
Lovable Teddy Bear
Maeve wrote...
Well when it comes to friendzones, you won't have a chance if you're a friendzoned guy.On relationships, women have 2 ladders and men have one.
In op's case, he friendzoned his friend and eventually started to like her.
However, if op was friendzoned, he won't be able to cross to the dating later, no matter what.
Nah, there is one way to get out of the friendzone, and pretty fast too.
Treating her like crap. Turning on the asshole towards her will change you to being fuckable pretty quickly.
Lelouch24 wrote...
He developed feelings for her after 7 years, so why do you say that there's no way the girl could have?Cause he didn't just develop feelings for her after 7 years. He might have just figured them out, but this isn't something that just went "poof I have them now."
You know if you're attracted to someone, pretty much straight from the get go. And you know if you feel like you want to try and be with someone not to long after you get to know them.
There are plenty of reasons that you ignore or don't figure out these things. It could be that you are in a better relationship with someone you want to be with more. It could be that you're too much of a pussy to act on the feelings when they first form so you run away as long as you can (like the op).
Or it could be that you spend some time apart and then when you come back you get a new impression (really it's just you being able to ignore the original impression you had of them.)
The reason I'm saying the girl couldn't have developed feelings for him is because she would need to find him fuckable to do so. Thing is, she would have let him know when she found him that way, and if she had feelings enough to want to see about pursuing them.
This also would have happened years ago.
So if he even had this chance, he missed it many many years ago. Despite the love crap that kids think in High School. Love does not wait like that without some fucking good reason.
So yeah, the reason why the girl wouldn't have developed feelings for the op is because she would no longer find him fuckable even if she did at one point. Why do I know this? Because he would have known this.
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Seems like only the older crew has some smarts left, you should all get the point that we are trying to be realistic, screw all the romance shit if you cant actually do a fuck! Also +rep for Takerial, he may be harsh but it seems like a good lesson for a guy like you to man up already.
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Drifter995
Neko//Night
+1 to Takerial from me as well.. as harsh as he is, he is right. She would have gone for you by now if you weren't such a wuss. Reporting people for their advise just shows how much you need to man up.
edit: seems i can't yet, so i shall when i next obtain rep
edit: seems i can't yet, so i shall when i next obtain rep
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Start to playfully rough house with her. gauge her reaction to the physical contact. if she's not annoyed/offended move on to tickling. don't be too agressive, keep on an equal level with her. let her gain some dominance, or if she acts submisive, you take the lead. be patient. don't rush through to the end the first time you try this method. gradualy ease towards more intamate contact over time. you've known her seven years, you can wait a few weeks more.
Lmfao @ the asshole route. that's almost as fast a way to end up alone as confessing. virgins giving romance advice is always good for a chuckle.
Lmfao @ the asshole route. that's almost as fast a way to end up alone as confessing. virgins giving romance advice is always good for a chuckle.
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Mr.Shaggnificent wrote...
Start to playfully rough house with her. gauge her reaction to the physical contact. if she's not annoyed/offended move on to tickling. don't be too agressive, keep on an equal level with her. let her gain some dominance, or if she acts submisive, you take the lead. be patient. don't rush through to the end the first time you try this method. gradualy ease towards more intamate contact over time. you've known her seven years, you can wait a few weeks more.Lmfao @ the asshole route. that's almost as fast a way to end up alone as confessing. virgins giving romance advice is always good for a chuckle.
I agree with both, I'd do it your way but I gotta say it all depends on the woman, some girls especially dont like it when you constantly try to tactically approach them since they feel like youre kissing up to them, I've found the more straight-forward way more uselful in such situations honestly. Also since you have nothing to prove that some people here are virgins, nor do you have any proof that you arent one please keep the fun to yourself.
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you'll never know if you don't try. it will be awkward, and she'd probably have to think on it. don't push it though as you don't want to ruin the friendship.
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[font=verdana][color=green]Lmao, it's actually amazing how much Takerial is actually helping the OP despite him saying otherwise before.
But the man speaks truth; more truth than the OP deserves after his pussy reporting of said man.
But the man speaks truth; more truth than the OP deserves after his pussy reporting of said man.
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+ Rep to takerial, It might be mean but its fucking true. Also, the fucking OP reporting someone for giving their opinion on a topic that was asking for advice, seems legit.
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Mhm...Starting to think Takeria! is just trying to help from reading his posts again but I'm asking her tomorow after we're done eating at the resto. Like they say, You get nothing if you don't try.
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Takerial
Lovable Teddy Bear
Lmfao @ the asshole route. that's almost as fast a way to end up alone as confessing. virgins giving romance advice is always good for a chuckle.
Asshole route works if you do it right. And you wouldn't want it to be a permenant thing.
Trust me, I managed to get one of my friends to do it after much prodding and it worked for him.
But OP is too much of a pussy to pull it off.
And OP, if you feel you have to say something, don't fucking confess. Just ask her out. If you just ask her out, she can just decline, and it won't put that much strain on the friendship.
And again, it's creepy to confess.
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Takerial wrote...
And OP, if you feel you have to say something, don't fucking confess. Just ask her out. If you just ask her out, she can just decline, and it won't put that much strain on the friendship.And again, it's creepy to confess.
I don't agree with most of what she said, but I think she's dead right about this. It also has a decreased risk of losing your friendship
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NightLife wrote...
1st. I havn't said I liked her for 7 years. Read more next time2nd. Stop commenting if you've got nothing important else to do but trolking.
3rd. REPORTED
4th. I'm not replying to you anymore so don't bother with it
Why are you whining at Takerial?
He wasn't trolling, he gave you an honest answer and if that's too hard to take don't come here.
Secondly you should read this.
And don't "confess" to her, if she doesn't feel the same way for you you'll be scared for life and the friendship won't be the same. Trust me, don't do it.