mister advicer is here!!!tell me your love problem!!!
0
GameON wrote...
I've got a problem.There's this girl I've taken an interest in. Now I've only meet her once so this might be a whole "love at first sight thing", and I'm not even sure if I like her or not yet. I know all her friends, and from what they are like and what they have been telling me, she really suits the kind of personality and interests that i share. Now I'm a pretty shy guy, and think she is way out of my league, but should i try regardless? Even though I'm not entirely sure if I genuinely "like" her yet....? I mean shes been in my head for the last three weeks.
I have a similar problem with you. unless I meet her very often,I know her friend . Someday, in a chat between me and her and her friend, her friend said that I like her but it seems like she didn't much respond to it.
Could it be that she didn't like me or she only accept that as a joke?
0
kman1257 wrote...
Spoiler:
That explain all of it bro .... good luck for it .... my best regard .. just be yourself .. because the real you is the one whose loved by her .. and i'm sure she just too shy about it like what you said ...
and concentrating more on your college life means you sane enough .. that's good things to hear
GameON wrote...
Spoiler:
This kind of matter is so typical ... and i can translate your last phrase by one word "love" ..
you may try to deny it .. but that cannot be helped .. love come when you aren't even aware of it
doesn't have any intention to sounds rude ... but if you call yourself as a guy .. you better take it a shot ..
rejection or acceptance matter comes later ... "shy" is not and never can be used as excuse
0
wilstreak wrote...
GameON wrote...
I've got a problem.There's this girl I've taken an interest in. Now I've only meet her once so this might be a whole "love at first sight thing", and I'm not even sure if I like her or not yet. I know all her friends, and from what they are like and what they have been telling me, she really suits the kind of personality and interests that i share. Now I'm a pretty shy guy, and think she is way out of my league, but should i try regardless? Even though I'm not entirely sure if I genuinely "like" her yet....? I mean shes been in my head for the last three weeks.
I have a similar problem with you. unless I meet her very often,I know her friend . Someday, in a chat between me and her and her friend, her friend said that I like her but it seems like she didn't much respond to it.
Could it be that she didn't like me or she only accept that as a joke?
could be:
1. it could be she doesnt know how to respond.
2. she doesnt want to hurt the friendship
3 has someone else or
doesnt take an interest. just keep trying. just dont overdo it
0
GameON wrote...
I've got a problem.There's this girl I've taken an interest in. Now I've only meet her once so this might be a whole "love at first sight thing", and I'm not even sure if I like her or not yet. I know all her friends, and from what they are like and what they have been telling me, she really suits the kind of personality and interests that i share. Now I'm a pretty shy guy, and think she is way out of my league, but should i try regardless? Even though I'm not entirely sure if I genuinely "like" her yet....? I mean shes been in my head for the last three weeks.
maybe you should try getting to know her first befriend her and make sure what your feeling is for real.
0
Ok well there's this chick that I think is pretty cute and I want to get to know her better but she's one of those straight edge chicks and for some reason I don't have the balls to talk to those kinda chicks cause I get all nervous. Any advice on how to start it off?
0
GygerEmps wrote...
Ok well there's this chick that I think is pretty cute and I want to get to know her better but she's one of those straight edge chicks and for some reason I don't have the balls to talk to those kinda chicks cause I get all nervous. Any advice on how to start it off?Man up ...
and you should searching for her interests / gathering her information .... her favorite foods/drinks/movies/ etc etc
that's typical move to do for starting conversation ..
Spoiler:
0
What do you mean by "staight edge girl"
my advise find something that she does and start a conversation with her about it
my advise find something that she does and start a conversation with her about it
0
Takerial
Lovable Teddy Bear
GygerEmps wrote...
Ok well there's this chick that I think is pretty cute and I want to get to know her better but she's one of those straight edge chicks and for some reason I don't have the balls to talk to those kinda chicks cause I get all nervous. Any advice on how to start it off?Often, just pleasantries will often work just fine.
It will also tell you if she returns any attraction to you.
If she can get through the pleasantries then it means you have some pull on her attraction so that means to go ahead onto the next step.
If it doesn't work, well.
0
My turn, you might want to take a cup of coffee cuz its gona get long xD
there is this girl at my school whom i liked for awhile, i took the first step and talk to her. during school we would walk together and talked between classes (we talked for about a year too xD). now however its summer and i dont know wat is the next step to do, so any suggestion?
there is this girl at my school whom i liked for awhile, i took the first step and talk to her. during school we would walk together and talked between classes (we talked for about a year too xD). now however its summer and i dont know wat is the next step to do, so any suggestion?
0
ok....I am unfortunately still kinda obsessed with my asshole twice ex-boyfriend. I know I should just forget about it, and I've dated and fallen in love since him, but he is the person my mind always runs to whenever I have 5 minutes of free time.
really long story....we were each other's first loves when we were 13-15. he suddenly stopped talking to me after a small fight we had. I was completely devastated because I had no idea what I did wrong. After a couple of months he tried to get me back and said he was basically a coward but that he had changed. I refused because I felt he treated me badly and it was a matter of respect.
Now, fast forward to right after college. I had just gotten out of a really bad situation at school and once I graduated I moved back home. I was looking for a job and got hired on the spot at an asian restaurant. Well, guess who was working there... I did not recognize him at first because he looked so different but apparently he recognized me immediately, but he did not say anything. he was nice for a week, then almost as soon I realized that it was him, he became a HUGE jerk. This went on for a couple of months until we started hanging out with other people from work. Eventually he hooked up. He confessed to me that after me, he hadn't been with another girl in any way shape or form. he is extremely picky and has a kinda asshole personality some times so I wasn't horribly surprised...he really likes to keep people at a distance.
Anyway, I was terrified that his lack of experience, and his uncanny instinct for flight would cause problems and I was just not sure how much I trusted him yet, but after a week of dating we decided to have sex for the first time. It was his first time and as expected, he was terrible. But alas, you learn these things as you go. Well, almost immediately afterwards, as I am lying naked on the bed, he starts jabbering on all kinds of stuff and after 4 hours of this, he breaks up with me. he said horrible things to me and it has really stuck with me.
things afterwards got complicated. he wrote me a short story of an older couple that was married and used phrases that I had said in the past. he then wrote.."maybe someday..." well...this pissed me off since he seemed he was deliberately trying to fuck with my head. So I called him to give him a peace of my mind, but I wanted to do it in person. he refused me meet me and I told him he was the most selfish, self-absorbed person I had every met. Anyway, he became a jerk once more and that is how things went on a while until I moved to another city. Toward the end, he tried to ask me to dinner with a couple of our friends but I refused. He was supposed to go to my going away party, he insisted on coming even though I didn't invite him, but then changed his mind last minute, using some lame excuse.
anyway, I can't stop thinking about him. I tried to hate him and that just didn't work. I know he is bad for me and a coward, preferring much more to hurt other people in order to protect his own ego. I think about what would happen if we meet again and what our first reactions would be. would I go straight up to him and kiss him and then punch him in the stomach?
bah.
really long story....we were each other's first loves when we were 13-15. he suddenly stopped talking to me after a small fight we had. I was completely devastated because I had no idea what I did wrong. After a couple of months he tried to get me back and said he was basically a coward but that he had changed. I refused because I felt he treated me badly and it was a matter of respect.
Now, fast forward to right after college. I had just gotten out of a really bad situation at school and once I graduated I moved back home. I was looking for a job and got hired on the spot at an asian restaurant. Well, guess who was working there... I did not recognize him at first because he looked so different but apparently he recognized me immediately, but he did not say anything. he was nice for a week, then almost as soon I realized that it was him, he became a HUGE jerk. This went on for a couple of months until we started hanging out with other people from work. Eventually he hooked up. He confessed to me that after me, he hadn't been with another girl in any way shape or form. he is extremely picky and has a kinda asshole personality some times so I wasn't horribly surprised...he really likes to keep people at a distance.
Anyway, I was terrified that his lack of experience, and his uncanny instinct for flight would cause problems and I was just not sure how much I trusted him yet, but after a week of dating we decided to have sex for the first time. It was his first time and as expected, he was terrible. But alas, you learn these things as you go. Well, almost immediately afterwards, as I am lying naked on the bed, he starts jabbering on all kinds of stuff and after 4 hours of this, he breaks up with me. he said horrible things to me and it has really stuck with me.
things afterwards got complicated. he wrote me a short story of an older couple that was married and used phrases that I had said in the past. he then wrote.."maybe someday..." well...this pissed me off since he seemed he was deliberately trying to fuck with my head. So I called him to give him a peace of my mind, but I wanted to do it in person. he refused me meet me and I told him he was the most selfish, self-absorbed person I had every met. Anyway, he became a jerk once more and that is how things went on a while until I moved to another city. Toward the end, he tried to ask me to dinner with a couple of our friends but I refused. He was supposed to go to my going away party, he insisted on coming even though I didn't invite him, but then changed his mind last minute, using some lame excuse.
anyway, I can't stop thinking about him. I tried to hate him and that just didn't work. I know he is bad for me and a coward, preferring much more to hurt other people in order to protect his own ego. I think about what would happen if we meet again and what our first reactions would be. would I go straight up to him and kiss him and then punch him in the stomach?
bah.
0
Takerial
Lovable Teddy Bear
Mr.Setsuna wrote...
My turn, you might want to take a cup of coffee cuz its gona get long xDthere is this girl at my school whom i liked for awhile, i took the first step and talk to her. during school we would walk together and talked between classes (we talked for about a year too xD). now however its summer and i dont know wat is the next step to do, so any suggestion?
First off, is there any way you can know where she might be so you can "accidentally" run into her?
Now remember, it has to be someplace you might actually go to. And try to avoid finding out through people who might tell her you were asking, because then you'll give her that stalker vibe.
Or do you happen to have gotten her number?
If so, you could just ring her up real quick and ask her how she's been.
Either way, if you really are interested in her, it might be a good idea to steer the direction to a casual hanging out, otherwise known as a date.
0
Not necessarily sure if this will still be valid but I feel like I should add in my input.
Now, take my word for it when I say I read everything and know where you're coming from.
As you've said "twice ex", I would automatically say that it's a bad idea to continue to hold romantic feelings towards him. It's my own policy to stop trying things again at the "get back together"/"the second try", pulling a third time is just asking for clarification to how he truly is. I know this first hand because I went down that road myself.
Next is the the kind of "scratching" that's in the back of your mind where he continues to periodically appear before you mentally. Whether it's lingering romantic feelings or even regret, there's something that isn't closing the door to this guy. I want to say you doubt that he's entirely bad and that there's somehow a little bit good inside him. I should know, beyond all good judgment between myself and friends, I still tried to do that "one more try".
Whether you decide to try romance with him once more or not is up to you, but you need to ask, will you regret this? It's a gamble when it comes to the slight doubt, however, consider the evidence you've obtained from all the experiences you've had. From the looks of it, he's going to be the same person he's always been, people just don't change that easily. I'll say that the last time I gave someone the benefit of the doubt and hope that they've turned over a new leaf, they just became lower than before.
As I've said before, I'm not sure if this information will be remotely helpful or valid now but consider what's best for you and what'll bring you peace of mind.
Fi wrote...
ok....I am unfortunately still kinda obsessed with my asshole twice ex-boyfriend. I know I should just forget about it, and I've dated and fallen in love since him, but he is the person my mind always runs to whenever I have 5 minutes of free time. Now, take my word for it when I say I read everything and know where you're coming from.
As you've said "twice ex", I would automatically say that it's a bad idea to continue to hold romantic feelings towards him. It's my own policy to stop trying things again at the "get back together"/"the second try", pulling a third time is just asking for clarification to how he truly is. I know this first hand because I went down that road myself.
Next is the the kind of "scratching" that's in the back of your mind where he continues to periodically appear before you mentally. Whether it's lingering romantic feelings or even regret, there's something that isn't closing the door to this guy. I want to say you doubt that he's entirely bad and that there's somehow a little bit good inside him. I should know, beyond all good judgment between myself and friends, I still tried to do that "one more try".
Whether you decide to try romance with him once more or not is up to you, but you need to ask, will you regret this? It's a gamble when it comes to the slight doubt, however, consider the evidence you've obtained from all the experiences you've had. From the looks of it, he's going to be the same person he's always been, people just don't change that easily. I'll say that the last time I gave someone the benefit of the doubt and hope that they've turned over a new leaf, they just became lower than before.
As I've said before, I'm not sure if this information will be remotely helpful or valid now but consider what's best for you and what'll bring you peace of mind.
0
@Fi: Sucks, doesn't it? To like a guy so much even if you know how rotten his personality is. *sigh*
Well, my advice is that for starters, don't reprimand or blame yourself for liking such a guy. Sometimes, you really just can't help who you end up liking. Accept that you like him now, and then maybe it'll fade away in time.
Secondly, don't give him another chance until he truly proves himself worthy of it, and I don't mean worthy by being nice for a day/week/month/etc.
Also, don't be the one who always has to remind him that he's done something wrong. You've done enough, now just leave it to him whether or not he chooses to realize it for himself.
Well, my advice is that for starters, don't reprimand or blame yourself for liking such a guy. Sometimes, you really just can't help who you end up liking. Accept that you like him now, and then maybe it'll fade away in time.
Secondly, don't give him another chance until he truly proves himself worthy of it, and I don't mean worthy by being nice for a day/week/month/etc.
Also, don't be the one who always has to remind him that he's done something wrong. You've done enough, now just leave it to him whether or not he chooses to realize it for himself.
0
kitten-in-heat wrote...
@Fi: Sucks, doesn't it? To like a guy so much even if you know how rotten his personality is. *sigh*Well, my advice is that for starters, don't reprimand or blame yourself for liking such a guy. Sometimes, you really just can't help who you end up liking. Accept that you like him now, and then maybe it'll fade away in time.
Secondly, don't give him another chance until he truly proves himself worthy of it, and I don't mean worthy by being nice for a day/week/month/etc.
Also, don't be the one who always has to remind him that he's done something wrong. You've done enough, now just leave it to him whether or not he chooses to realize it for himself.
Thanks Kitten. It does suck to guy to like a guy like this. But it's been years now since I last saw him and I still haven't gotten over it. We are both in different cities now but a lot of my family if planning on moving to his part of the world. And I still like other guys and I have fallen in love since, but alas. He is a big what if. what if he wasn't such an idiot. sigh. The first time we broke up it took me two years to get over him and I never thought I would see him again. I guess I keep thinking we will run into each other again and then I think that if I want to see him I should find him and tell him. in a nutshell, I suppose I lack closure and I am just not sure of how to get it.
I suppose there is always that one person that just gets under your skin and lays eggs there.
0
Fi wrote...
kitten-in-heat wrote...
@Fi: Sucks, doesn't it? To like a guy so much even if you know how rotten his personality is. *sigh*Well, my advice is that for starters, don't reprimand or blame yourself for liking such a guy. Sometimes, you really just can't help who you end up liking. Accept that you like him now, and then maybe it'll fade away in time.
Secondly, don't give him another chance until he truly proves himself worthy of it, and I don't mean worthy by being nice for a day/week/month/etc.
Also, don't be the one who always has to remind him that he's done something wrong. You've done enough, now just leave it to him whether or not he chooses to realize it for himself.
Thanks Kitten. It does suck to guy to like a guy like this. But it's been years now since I last saw him and I still haven't gotten over it. We are both in different cities now but a lot of my family if planning on moving to his part of the world. And I still like other guys and I have fallen in love since, but alas. He is a big what if. what if he wasn't such an idiot. sigh. The first time we broke up it took me two years to get over him and I never thought I would see him again. I guess I keep thinking we will run into each other again and then I think that if I want to see him I should find him and tell him. in a nutshell, I suppose I lack closure and I am just not sure of how to get it.
I suppose there is always that one person that just gets under your skin and lays eggs there.
lol the 'laying eggs' bit reminded me of Hellboy, but yeah, it gets kind of confusing when you still think about the guy even after falling in love with other people. It kind of ends up making you feel torn between wanting to see him and not wanting to see him again, doesn't it?
Well, even if he does still hold a piece of your heart, don't force yourself to move on from him if you know you still like him. It may take a really long time, but all that matters is that you remain true to yourself, unlike him.
Sorry for not being able to give you better advice. Hopefully, everything will turn out for the best for you.
0
thanks for the advice. it is an impossible situation. i guess i should just let it go and not seek him out. if we ever meet again for whatever random reason, who knows, maybe i'll get closure then.
0
Fi wrote...
thanks for the advice. it is an impossible situation. i guess i should just let it go and not seek him out. if we ever meet again for whatever random reason, who knows, maybe i'll get closure then.Ill be there to help out if possible. You cant help who you love, but you can choose whether you want to continue or not.
