Why can't I like nice guys?

Learning, changing...they can combine to define 'growing'.

I was that nerd in high school, I was that nice guy to women, I was the guy that got stepped on.

But I took responsibility for everything. It is my responsibility to get the outcomes I want in life. It is not a girl's duty to 'work with me'...besides, I don't want to be a freaking charity case.

On the other hand, it was my duty to become a man that is naturally attractive to my kind of women. Guys that are naturally attractive to women weren't born with it, they developed their charm. If you don't believe me, find a few of these guys, become good friends and ask them for their story. I'm willing to bet you anything that their success is paved by scores and scores of bad experiences with women.

You're right in the fact that it's not your fault that you didn't become aware of this earlier in life. But once you gain that awareness, it's time to step up and grow.

Best post in this thread so far. I can't agree more.

I'm not quite sure I understand whether you think still being into superheros is childish or one word lame answers are childish... [/quote]

i think u misunderstood me due to poor grammer i meant im still into those things and most girls i approach and get to know think im childish.

This is a great explanation and puts to words a lot of feelings I have had for awhile. I haven't be able to explain quite how they act differently, but that hits the nail on the head!




It isn't that. He wants does want to hang out, but I'm an art student so I have almost no free time. It is more that when he does talk he isn't really saying anything. I have to carry the conversations which isn't very fun for me.




I think there is a distinct difference between expecting for a guy who likes you to try and make you like them back and asking a guy to change. When I like a guy a lot I'm not going to change who I am to get him to like me. As you stated you end up with a person different who you thought you were. I just let the best parts of myself shine. I flirt, I'm animated, and I respond in an interesting way. Now I might necessarily always always respond interestingly outside of this, but I do my best. Who wants to hang out with a boring person?



^this also



Oooooh I getcha now. :P

He's a shy nerd. I'd wager money he's throwing some phrase out there and expecting a specific response. When you don't do as his fantasy expects, he has no idea what to do next.

Sure he's shy, and not introverted?

OH! Then, he needs to learn how to help make conversation. I mean I know personally it's hard..but if you have to do it alone..aside from the fact you would lose interest..it just isn't very fair and even at all when it comes down to it..He needs to learn how to say random things and let one thing lead to another when you talk at the very least. Kinda like what I do with my girlfriend when we're talking.

Well since im a shy guy its that we are inexperienced or lack confidence in having a relationship. You might have to take the first step, but don't assume that it has to always be the guy to ask you out.

I am plenty aggressive when I LIKE a guy whether he shy or not. I have no idea whether I like this guy yet or if I want to date him. He seemed cool so I wanted to give him the chance, but he isn't giving me much to work with.




No when It comes to me asking shy guys out there isn't an issue because I know how to put on the charm. I put the extra effort when I like them. I have a guy who already likes me and I haven't developed an opinion on him yet. I'm not sure if I want to be anything with him, and he isn't doing anything to really sway me in his direction.

Girls are a lot more aggressive than guys think. Girls love a challenge and they will go after the right guys. Even the shy and the seemingly innocent girls have more balls and are more aggressive than most guys.

You just need to be the right guy, a guy that makes her 'feel' attracted. Good looks and a good personality...you just need one of them to be attractive.

If she is attracted to the way you look, you can enjoy the luxury of letting her get to know you and letting her take the initial steps.

If she's not particularly attracted to the way you look, it's fine. But you better let your personality shine through or there will be no reason for her to like you.

The process is identical for guys. I sure that guys and girls can relate to this.
1. You can meet someone hot and you're attracted right off the bat.
2. You meet someone that you usually wouldn't go for...but they get hotter and hotter as you get to know them. All because they have this sexy personality that is attractive to you.

^THIS. A MILLION TIMES THIS.

nice guys finish last. -nigahiga song

so true.

That song is actually the reason I started to think about this. XD

Now, I begin to worry, because even a pro was begging me to finish her after 4 hours :p

huh? :3 I don't get it mr.

hahahha...I get it, and I am impressed

I have theory on why girls don't go for shy nice guys. Preprogramming. Girls are hardwired to be the stand back in the relationship. Movies, books, tv shows, they all show the guy doing all this stuff for the girl. He approaches her, she just has to say yes, look good, and decide how far she is going to let him go. This is grossly unfair for guys imo. I mean thats alot of work for something that has a very low rate of return. Also for girls it makes them worry about being too aggressive and wastes so many chances. Honestly damsel I would say don't stress it and don't wait. You want to talk to him talk to him. if he doesn't answer the way you want then ask again. I mean put the effort in, if after that you still are getting no where than say hasta. But maybe if you show the intrest and show what you are looking for in this relationship he might reciprocate.

Bit shabby of him to give such a quick and easy (Safe) answer. Id've discussed whatever topic untill it was absolutely played to DEATH and became annoying to you! :D

...Maybe you should do a Grace Jones if you like him though:


Good idea!! :P~