Why can't I like nice guys?
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As a 'nice' guy myself, this topic really put things in motion for me. I especially respect hightide's posts although the last one was a little harsh for me but at least I'm aware and try to fix these negative traits i have especially when i care for a certain girl a lot. Although in my case the girl isn't my Girlfriend but i'm competing with another 'nice' guy. Anyway thanks for the food for thought everyone.
as mentioned in an earlier post, you should push him while being straightforward at the same time, no matter how bluntly obvious without scaring us and see how it goes if he doesn't respond, he's not right/ needs to grow up.
as mentioned in an earlier post, you should push him while being straightforward at the same time, no matter how bluntly obvious without scaring us and see how it goes if he doesn't respond, he's not right/ needs to grow up.
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gizgal wrote...
Find a guy who's nice, but daring enough to be "bad" on occasion to keep you attracted to him? unfortunately those are extremely rare...I searched for about 15 years, and the first one I found I married.
Being nice is surly a positive thing, but dating mother Theresa with a penis tends to get boring...on the other hand dating a bad boy is fun and excitement but you eventually end up getting hurt...so yeah live's a bitch *cup of hot tee*
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Ah Men are from Mars and women are from Venus.
Speaking as a somewhat nice and shy guy, I understand that girls wants more than just the ''nice'' guy, ive learned my mistakes from previous online relationships.
I know I'm probably wrong on this and I apologize for saying so but I get the impression that some (and putting the emphasis on ''some'' and not ''all'' ) women expects this guy to be this and that to the point of making it socially required for a successful relationship. I've been wondering, can't a guy remain nice and not let himself being stepped over without having to raise his fists or his anger while still being happy in life as he takes care of problems in a gentlemanly way?
It feels like people have to change himself in order to keep up to the interests of the other person while sacrificing his own unique self-identity (depending on which type of person he/she is). If the person is happy with it, then no problem but if the person is happy that he's loved but not happy about himself then there's a problem.
I know that there's at least women out there who might think differently but it seems a good majority is into nice people with a bad boy attitude or just ''perfect'' men.
Speaking as a somewhat nice and shy guy, I understand that girls wants more than just the ''nice'' guy, ive learned my mistakes from previous online relationships.
I know I'm probably wrong on this and I apologize for saying so but I get the impression that some (and putting the emphasis on ''some'' and not ''all'' ) women expects this guy to be this and that to the point of making it socially required for a successful relationship. I've been wondering, can't a guy remain nice and not let himself being stepped over without having to raise his fists or his anger while still being happy in life as he takes care of problems in a gentlemanly way?
It feels like people have to change himself in order to keep up to the interests of the other person while sacrificing his own unique self-identity (depending on which type of person he/she is). If the person is happy with it, then no problem but if the person is happy that he's loved but not happy about himself then there's a problem.
I know that there's at least women out there who might think differently but it seems a good majority is into nice people with a bad boy attitude or just ''perfect'' men.
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Neruku wrote...
gizgal wrote...
Find a guy who's nice, but daring enough to be "bad" on occasion to keep you attracted to him? unfortunately those are extremely rare...I searched for about 15 years, and the first one I found I married.
Being nice is surly a positive thing, but dating mother Theresa with a penis tends to get boring...on the other hand dating a bad boy is fun and excitement but you eventually end up getting hurt...so yeah live's a bitch *cup of hot tee*
Yeah, need to snag one of those guys someday... ;-;
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what is the definition of a "nice" guy?
I think the main issue that needs to be sorted is "communication". It doesnt work well, especially if the guy is a "shy" guy.
From my experience I can definitely say I am terrible at communicating with females, especially the one I like. And when I say communicating I don't just mean talking, but I also mean listening. Not sure why it communicating is easier with someone you are not interested in and someone you like. I guess because there is an element of risk involving the heart?
I think the main issue that needs to be sorted is "communication". It doesnt work well, especially if the guy is a "shy" guy.
From my experience I can definitely say I am terrible at communicating with females, especially the one I like. And when I say communicating I don't just mean talking, but I also mean listening. Not sure why it communicating is easier with someone you are not interested in and someone you like. I guess because there is an element of risk involving the heart?
