Why is it hard...to talk to a girl?

Why? Why is it hard to talk to a girl?

I am keeping this topic as a journey on my way to manhood (being 18 doesn't mean you're a full fledge man)

So I have this classmate of mine. She's pretty and i've been trying to talk to her, but I usually end up with nothing to talk about X_X. I got her number (don't ask how) and I can chat with her when not facing her. Although the chat is awkward too, since I chat with her to only 5-15 messages max, then she doesn't reply back. I'm trying to be comfortable with our surroundings, but I found out that she *might* have a boyfriend. Another classmate of mine is trying to hit on her (I think), and he's advanced farther than I have.


So tell me, how can you talk to a girl normally? If I could, I could be more friendly with her rather than being awkward classmates who chat once in a while

It's not hard, you just have to find a subject that she's familiar with, and talk about it. It's the easiest way to start a conversation. I take it you know a few things about her, right? Use that as the basis for a conversation, and work from there. It's easier if you two have something in common to talk about as well.

That being said, I'd start working a bit harder too, if you like the gal. If she has a boyfriend maybe, and seems to be taking less interest/getting to know another guy better, you're falling behind in the game. Otherwise, you're going to miss out.

protip: girls love to talk
ask her something about her life,what she likes 2 do in her free time etc
dont talk to much about yourself that makes you in the most cases uninteresting

Don't be a wimp dude....Ak38 is right girls love to talk. Once you earn there trust, they also want your protection. Don't be shy, tell her what you feel.

I'll take this piece of advice then.

You're putting the pussy on a pedestal.

Jokes aside, it's best to not think of girls as any different from guys. You probably shouldn't punch them on the arm and fart in their faces, but you should see them as equals and not as some exotic fruit. That way, you can be more confident and more relaxed when talking to them. Of course, that's easier said than done, but realization is the first step in everything.

As Ak38 said, don't talk too much about yourself. You don't want hurt to think your self-absorbed. At the same time, don't inquire too much about her; you don't want to seem like a stalker or some nosy jerk. Just find out what her interests are, what her thoughts are on certain subjects, what she wants to do in the future, that sort of thing.

I guess a good way to think about it is, don't act as if you're trying to get a girlfriend or wife. Act as if you're trying to find a collaborator on a project, a partner that will be by your side for years. (Like you're a writer, she's an artist, and you're going to make a manga together.) You have to make sure that you can get along and share similar interests, and you don't have to be nervous about the whole situation. You're just trying to help each other out.

So that's what I've been doing wrong.

Its more easier if you just date your childhood sweetheart though. That's what I did, and we got married.

I like to introduce myself, converse about topics I think the other person would be interested in, and make jokes. I feel that a good balance between giving information on yourself, getting info about them (and listening for as long as it takes), having serious discussions (politics or other such common subjects are a fair place to start but you could always go with something lighter like favorite movies), and joking around (throw in a few flirtatious ones if you feel you can get away with it) is a good way to get to know another person while letting them get to know you and finding out if they might be interested in you (and you in them). When you feel comfortable with said person (and you think they feel comfortable with you) you should ask them if they'd like to go out to a movie/dinner/whatever. Don't make it seem like a big deal but try to convey that it's not meaningless too. After that point giving advice really requires knowing more details.

You know why you can't talk to her? Because your scared of saying something stupid that will ruin your chances of her liking you. Before you can talk to a girl you have to realize that if things don't go great, so what? If your scared of messing up, a girl will be able to tell your nervous - and nervousness is a huge sign that your DESPERATE.

If you want to start a conversation, first pick out something about her or that is going on around her or in the room that you can talk about. Do this FIRST, BEFORE YOU GO UP TO HER TO TALK. Any little thing will do. THEN talk to her, and have fun, tease her about something you picked up on - like her giant polka doted purse, or about they way she was doing something - like reading something really intensely to the point she was going to burn a hole through the paper with her stare. OR you can talk to her about other people in the room, people watch and pick out little things that are amusing.

Then throw in some self-depricating humor so you don't seem like a dick and that is about it.
Above all though, have confidence - and know that she isn't better then you, so why put the pussy on a pedestal?

^
Sounds like what I need the most.

@Ramsus: They're not much on political, but your other advice is spot on. i'm taking both your and razama's advice. thx

Heh, I used to do that at Uni. Works well for an ice breaker.

Well, most of the important tips has been given...

But I agree most with Shaggy's. Girls are people too, so they shouldn't be treated any differently...sure, you liking her may make that a bit difficult...but before you can talk normally, you gotta think normally first.

huh is that Really Hard to talk to a Girl
Actually for me It's not
even if i Like her
i talk normally
i maybe Anti social but i never Had Difficulty
in Having a Conservation
(I Just don't want to Talk often and Most of the time i want to be alone that's why i said im Anti Social)

As for me, as long as that girl has the same interests with me, I think there's no problem to chat with her. Talk to her anything about your interests and share with her. In the end, she'll fall to you.
But if she has different interests with me, that'll be kinda hard. But I agreed to mibuchiha, just try to talk naturally and think normally. You can't say a word if you're nervous, right?

I remember when I tried this when I was talking to girl in my class but then my inner self came out and ruined it.

"so what do you like to do outside of class?" .

"Oh, I liked to have fun,"

"no shit. I thought you liked being bored like the rest of us."

She didn't find that funny.

My advice though is talk to her like a normal person instead having ulterior motives. I think (my own personal superstition) girls can tell when your talking to them "just because" or when your talking to get in their pants.

Also don't be yourself. I know this somewhat contradicts what I wrote above but I've tried being myself for the last almost the last 20 years of my entire life (my birthday is this thursday!) and it has never worked once.

Honestly I just have some difficulties making first contact, once we hit it off it's fine. This applies to making new friends as well, male and female.