Would You Date A Bisexual?

Pretty straightforward question.

Me? If it was a simple relationship, one that would probably never go anywhere, then yeah, I'd date a bisexual. I like kinky stuff. If she wanted to bring another girl into the mix, I wouldn't mind, and we could watch lesbian porn together.

However, if it was a serious relationship, one that could potentially end up in marriage, the girl would have to be straight (or only, like, 2% bi). I couldn't handle the shit a bi girl would probably hand me, especially if we were married. After all, a threesome is only a good idea if you're not going to spend your life with either party. If you're going to marry one of the other two people involved, then there's all that worry about if your future wife enjoyed you or the other chick more, if you enjoyed your future wife or the other chick more, and so on. (For a better explanation, watch Chasing Amy.) If the bi girl had just experimented in the past, years ago, that might be a different story, but if it was at all recent, or if she still wanted to fool around with girls at all, I'd have to turn her down.

Thoughts? Opinions? Angry bisexuals who think I'm a jerk? Understanding straight guys who agree with me?

what shaggy said. pretty much sums it up for me. tho' i believe i'm more open ti bi than him...i can still tolerate it if she does all those lesbian things behind my me, even if we're married. just, make sure it's not frequent...i get more time with her than those things, and no threesomes.

i dont think id want to have a bi as a girlfriend seeing how much damage they have done to most of my male friends (--,) but lesbian sex and threesomes would be a good idea.

What makes you think that a bisexual person would be adamant about bringing in a third party into the relationship?

I'm not saying every bisexual would be adamant, but some would. And a lot of them probably wouldn't want to settle for "just" men. I know if I was a bisexual girl, I wouldn't want to ever be told that I could never mess around with another girl again. Also, as a man, I don't think I'd feel comfortable with the thought of my wife masturbating to lesbian porn, even if she only sleeps with me. I would always be thinking, "What if she really gets the urge to be with another girl?" Being with another girl is completely different from being with a guy, after all.

If I were to commit to a marriage, I'd be settling that person, regardless of gender, for the rest of my life. I don't see how your spouse having the urge (or going through with said urge) to be with another person of the same gender is any worse than with another person of a different gender.

Like I said, being with a person of the same sex is different from being with a person of the opposite sex (I imagine; no firsthand experience). Being with one girl is similar to being with another, and being with one guy is similar to being with another, but being with a girl is very different from being with a guy.

I think it's understandable for a guy to be afraid that his girl will leave so she can have a completely different experience, especially since so many women leave men so they can have a similar experience.

I personally still think your paranoia is unfounded. Bisexual or not, when a person has committed to another person in marriage the idea is that they understand each other and won't do something to upset the other. That should include situations that you're worried about, such as your wife going behind your back with another woman. If you're not comfortable with your significant other enough, then don't marry him/her. However, making that judgment on the basis of their sexual orientation prior to your relationship would be unreasonable.

hmm....what tegumi said sounds reasonable to me but anyways...

even if your wife is really a bi....and she needs some dose of those things, why the need to dislike it? just make sure she won't cheat, and all is fine, right? you might think that being with another girl counts as cheating too, but i think it's way better than having her go out with another man. it's not like anything will come out of girl-girl relationship anyway....so i'll just let it go as friendship. and you said something about worrying whether she enjoys you or the other party more....why worry? you said it yourself that being with a man or a women is completely different, so let's just make this different too. it's a totally different experience...so, why compare?

but yeah, as tegumi said, if you're married, and committed to each other, then you wouldn't even want to upset them.

True, when you're married, you don't want to upset your partner. That's why I wouldn't marry a bisexual girl. Because there'd always be the constant fear of upsetting her by not letting her be with a girl. To me, messing around with another person is cheating, regardless of the gender, and I wouldn't want my wife to cheat on me. So, I'd be telling her, "You absolutely cannot do anything with another woman, for the rest of your life." I wouldn't want to tell a bisexual girl that. Wouldn't it be the same as telling her to forsake half of who she is?

The thing is, I wouldn't marry a girl who's bi and then worry about this stuff. I'll save myself the trouble and not seriously date any bisexuals. Just like I wouldn't date any girls who were/are prostitutes, and I wouldn't expect any girl who isn't open sexually to date me (because I love perverted things).

Flowchart. Assuming you didn't marry hastily and actually know what you're relationship is about.

1. Relationship with bisexual partner, but you don't like this person being romantic with the same sex.

1a. Your partner is willing to give up his/her interests to marry you. Either they accept you as more important or it was not a very strong interest to begin with. Proceed to 2.

1b. Your partner is unwilling to give up said interest and you both realize it will cause problems with your relationship in the future. Proceed to 3.

2. You're happily married.

3. You are not married.

As a bisexual, I find your worries utterly biased. If I were to marry you, I would be giving up any potential relationship with either men and women equally; so I would still be a bisexual, BUT I wouldn't act like one, since you would be the partner I chose to settle with.

Read Tegumi's post for further reference :roll:

What exactly do you mean by "biased"? If you are implying in any way that I have something against bisexuals or anybody that isn't straight, then you're wrong. I am simply a straight man, albeit one with trust issues. And as a straight man, I can't truly understand what being bisexual is like. But I can imagine, and when I imagine it, being restricted to just one sex when both are appealing seems like it would suck. As a straight guy, if I marry a woman, I won't be able to have sex with any other women, but I'll get to have sex with one woman, and that's good enough. As a bisexual, I imagine that I would be giving up sex with all women to only have sex with one woman and giving up sex with all men for - only one woman. I wouldn't want that. And even if my partner agreed to give up half of her life for me, I would constantly wonder if a woman could do it better, if my wife would be happier with a woman than with me. Because even if I convince myself that I'm the best guy around, I'm no woman, and I can never be a woman. I can never do the things that women do. I can never make my body like a woman's.

To put it simply, if my wife and I were out somewhere, and both our heads turned to look at a hot chick, that would eat me up inside. It might not hurt me at that very moment, but the next time she got onto me for something or didn't seem to enjoy sex as much, it would pop into my head. I'm going to have a hard enough having a good relationship with a girl who only likes guys; it seems like if I date a bisexual, the relationship is doomed to fail, just like if I date a girl doesn't like anime or isn't open sexually. I don't have anything against bisexuals, and I don't think they're all sex-crazy or promiscuous, but I wouldn't marry one. Big deal. I also wouldn't marry a girl who was heavy into bondage (because it'd creep me out and I wouldn't agree to do any of that stuff, and that'd hurt her, and so on).

Anyways, I made this thread to see what people thought. It's often said that guys love girl-on-girl action (and it's true), and thinking like that, one would believe that any guy would love to date a bi girl and think about the stuff she's done with other girls and maybe get her into a three-way with another girl. But on an emotional level, it can be a big thing for a guy to deal with, whether the girl thinks so or not. I wanted to know how people felt, if any guys shared my fears, if any guys weren't worried in the least about being compared to a woman. I even hoped (though I didn't expect it) to have a straight girl come in and give her thoughts on whether she would date a bi guy or not. I didn't necessarily want this thread to turn into a thread about bisexuality or about whether my feelings were right or wrong, and though people can discuss those things all they want, I would love if the spotlight was turned off of me and onto the actual topic of whether or not each poster would date someone of the opposite sex who was bisexual.

You can hate me; you can believe that I hate bisexuals; you can even send me angry PMs about how I should die for supposedly hating bisexuals. But I'd like this thread to be a place where people can talk about how they feel about dating a bisexual person. After all, my personal views don't matter at all (I shared them because I expected other people to share their views, and I wanted to set an example), and if we want to talk about bisexuality, we can create another thread called "Views on Bisexuality" that would probably go in Serious Discussion. I've enjoyed discussing things in this topic, but this thread should be about whether or not people would date a bisexual, and it's not really heading in that direction. So, once again, you can PM me to discuss this more (or create your own thread to discuss anything), but let's not send the message to anybody who sees this thread that it is about anything other than whether or not he/she would date a bisexual.

Whoa, hold your horses, pal. I certainly didn't take anything that you said as offensive nor hateful; it's just that I've come across many people that share your "fears" about bisexuals, and being one myself, I don't think the matter is as serious as you apparently believe it to be.

Anyway, I think it's better for you to know beforehand that english isn't my first language; so if you have any questions, I invite you to PM me as well... I'll try to answer you as clearly and honestly as possible.

The point here is that if cheating is the issue, the chances of a bisexual woman committing adultery are about the same as a straight woman. As for Shaggy's paranoia of his partner being attracted to the same women he is attracted to, that's what it just is, paranoia. If it bothers him it's something ingrained in his personality, and should no means be used as a general modifier of how people should treat a relationship with a bisexual partner.

i don't know exactly what is you mean bisexual because all my boyfriends that i take date with them are ordinary :P

Trust issues and insecurity are tough things to get over. I don't hold them against anyone, let alone Shaggy. If he would prevent himself from getting too seriously involved with a bisexual woman based on his beliefs, then I respect that. It's a preference, nothing more. It doesn't matter what said preference is based on. I have a preference for Asian women with long hair, personally. I don't see that being any different than Shaggy's preference for heterosexual women.

In the same vein as above, I don't distinguish straight women from bisexual women when it comes to relationships. If I and the woman in question are serious about one another, then I would have to place my trust in her fidelity. Love is love, and someone who's truly in love will place that before any kind of lust, be it for a man or a woman.

Sex is different between a man and a woman and a woman and a woman, yes, but it's a preference, once again, not a need. If a woman feels like she's denying half of herself because she can't have sex with another woman even though she's "in love" with and married to a man, then she has emotional problems. It would be a mistake to assume that every bisexual woman feels that way, though. Everybody is different.

As he said earlier, this thread shouldn't be about trying to prove Shaggy wrong about something. It's just about stating personal preferences. I'm personally willing to accept love in whatever female package it comes in, be it hetero or bisexual. So long as it is true love, I wouldn't worry about my partner straying to the same gender. Let her head turn when she sees a pretty girl. That's natural for a bisexual. So long as she looks back to me afterward with love and faithfulness in her eyes, that's all that would matter.

A bisexual male doesn't seem appealing towards me.

From my experience with bisexual males, they seem more promiscuous then the norm. At least of those I've met. They're very open in engaging casual sex, etc. Also, of all the bisexual males I have met, they have a problem with maintaining serious relationships.

Now, I don't have anything against bisexual males, or even females for that matter - but it's just not my cup of tea.

I get along with them very well on the scale of friendships, but I've never been drawn to a bisexual before and of the ones I've met they're preference is more towards males vs. girls.

However, if I were to get into a relationship with one - I would expect them to not go off with someone else. To me cheating is cheating regardless of gender. If I were to be in a relationship I would have already established that decision whether or not I could trust their faithfulness.

From my personal experience with bi-sexual women. They tend to be unstable and by that I mean they suffer from some sort of trauma in their past. Rape victims, abuse victims, troubled homes,etc. Maybe my samples were just poor but, they were crazy. One girl I dated for four years could never trust me despite trying to make a history of me being trustworthy and honest. That's just one case but, I don't feel like laying the rest of my history out as proof.

Wow, surprised I didn't notice this thread when I first joined. Also surprised by the lack of responses from more than a couple of bisexuals. I'm bisexual, but I can understand where you are coming from. It doesn't bother me if my significant other was bisexual or not either male or female, but I can see them being bothered by my orientation. It can come off a little weird in a serious relationship, but then again I don't really plan on getting married, so it doesn't really matter a whole to me in the end.

I think if I ever did get married I would be able to control my "urges" for lack of a better term, but I won't say that for sure because I'm not facing that situation any time soon. I'm also a bit more adamant than some bisexuals. I know a lot of bisexuals are more leaning towards one gender, and what not, but I can't say I am myself. I'd just as soon marry a man that I love as any woman, so that may put me in your more "controversial" category, but I digress. I'm going nowhere with this. XD



I can't say I would or wouldn't be very open when it comes to casual sex, but I am very open about pretty much everything else relating to my sexuality. I'd have to disagree on the part about maintaining serious relationships, but that is mostly just on a personal level.