WWE WRESTLING

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jmason Curious and Wondering
Garden of Madness wrote...
jmason wrote...
Now on Jeff Hardy... he was arrested very recently for drug trafficking charges, for having a lot of illegal drugs inside his house. I'd like to hear Jeff's side first before making anymore assumptions.

I think his hiatus from wrestling and contractual obligations on WWE before this shit happened was a blessing in disguise. This one won't count on his WWE "strike count" since he's not a contracted wrestler anymore.


Oh screw him. He's fucked up so many times, it's amazing that he lasted as long as he did.
And you wanna hear Jeff's side? What's he gonna say, "Uhh... I was just holding it for a friend."
He's a loser and will always be a loser.
Though he still gets some credit for being in some of my all-time favorite extreme matches ever.
It's just as a person he fails. :razz:

And speaking of things that fail, how 'bout Breaking Point?


Breaking Point Review, y'all!


And Beware!
This is really, really long. (reason for the spoiler)
Okay, ready? Here we go!

Spoiler:
So things started out okay with MVP and Mark Henry vs Jeri-Show. Decent match. Just kinda whatever.

Then Miz vs Kofi stepped things up. I thought their match was really good. I was genuinely surprised by the quality of Miz's performance. That match would've stolen the show for me if not for...

...Legacy vs DX! They had an awesomely brutal match and I loved it. These guys are really good at beating each other up. And it was made even better by Legacy winning. I figured WWE would never go outside of their WWE Box of Standard Outcomes so that was a welcomed surprise.
Here's hoping for a tag team Hell in a Cell match next PPV. *crosses fingers*

But alas. These feelings of elation were not meant to last.

Queue everything going to shit...
NOW!

Next match; Kane vs Khali.
Snore!
Kane is good! Put him in there with someone who, oh, I don't know, has a better moveset than fucking Frankenstein's monster! GAHL!

Then after that was Regal vs Christian. It was alright actually. I liked it, but still a kinda forgettable match.


But now we come to the main events!
This is what's billed as the biggest and best matches of the PPV!
They should be super hardcore buttsex awesome, right?!
WRONG!
Terrible main events! Just awful!

First of all, what's the point in putting Golden Boy John Cena in an I Quit match. WWE would never, NEVER let him show weakness of ANY kind! And that match was boring as shit! If I wanted to see a guy chain up another guy and torture him, I'd... well I'd probably be gay. haha. But seriously, did anyone else laugh at how homoerotic that was? Maybe I just find anything Randy Orton does as gay though. :lol:
Anyway, back to the match!
So this torture went on stagnantly for what felt like forever until the prophet John Cena cast off the shackles of oppression and defeated the evil, demented Viper-like beast to reclaim his lost treasure! <--- John Cena's interpretation of the match the next night on Raw. :roll:
And another thing that really bugged about the match was that Orton quit like 7 seconds after the STF was applied. How lame is that?!
That match just sucked all around.

Sidenote:
Could they have used the term "breaking point" anymore in this fucking PPV?!
Fuck you, commentating team! Fuck you!

:Back to my shitty review:


Okay, so here we go! Finally, it's the Undertaker vs CM Punk match! Something to salvage the previous match! Hooray!
... Oh, but, what's this? This match is just as bad as the last one?!
NO!!!!
*sigh*

Sooo, yeah, here's how it went down:
They basically, just go back and forth, nothing really going on, and BOOM!, Taker wins just like that. Crappy ending right?
Oh, but wait! It gets worse! Vickie Guerrero banned that move! (I know what you're thinking, who the hell is she? She was that screeching pig-monster that they made Edge kiss all the time. Yeah, her.) Anyway, so that calls for them to restart the match!
So Punk locks in the Anaconda Vise and the ref calls for the bell without a tap out....
Are you serious?
Was that supposed to be funny? Was WWE trying to be cute? Did they think people would get a kick out of it?! Seriously, that was.. just... something else.
And let me make myself clear, I'm not mad that Taker got screwed, it's happens, it's wrestling, I get it; I'm mad that they decided to it in such a.. a...
I really can't think of the right word to describe what that was.
Predictable?
Unimaginative?
Boring?
Desperate?
Or just plain stupid?!
I don't know. Take your pick.

*deep breath*
And rant ends....
NOW!


So overall, I guess it was a decent show with mostly good matches. I'm just really upset by the main events.
Oh, and one more thing, they skipped JoMo vs Ziggler!
What, they couldn't have fit that in with all their groundbreaking new material like John Cena overcoming the odds and a Montreal screwing for the Undertaker? 'Cause, ya know, they really needed Kane vs Khali in the show! Goddammit! I mean, seriously-NO! Done ranting...
For now...

Ah well, maybe a Punk vs Taker Hell in a Cell match can make me forget about all this debauchery.

MMMM... Just knowing the next PPV is Hell in a Cell is already getting my hopes up that it'll be bett...Oh man, I just realized that the Cena/Orton rivalry probably isn't over yet!
NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

*passes out from lameness overdose and too much pizza*


And that's my review.
See ya next PPV :D ... :) ... :? ... :( ... :cry:


Yep, quite a pillbox of a review you got there. But you'll have to dig inside the rubble to find the gold, right?

They need CM Punk vs Undertaker to escalate and culminate somewhere since they're on a "transition phase" as Jericho gleefully points out in Twitter, they need to build new bankable stars such as CM Punk. Tell you what, did you think Edge sucked when he kept creeping his way into title matches and you thought the way they handled his title reigns and losses sucked? Well, congratulations, you just bought out and believed the McMahon-Hayes ideology. They wanted you to think like that. In reality, they're trying to build Edge's heel persona as a star you'd love to despise. And he's good at it, he's promo-worthy, he knows how to ride the boos, and he knows how to elicit reaction. And they did. Edge is no more second-tier star - he's up there in the main event card.

CM Punk is being built as a heelish cocky star since the reigning heel is out until next year. And a lasting feud against 'Taker is a good way, as with 'Taker did with Edge. If Undertaker won in this PPV, it's a badly-made necessity. If CM Punk won via submission, it's also bad since they're banking on the Phenom to not tap out. You may think that an allusion to the Montreal Screwjob sucks, but you have to admit it's a perfect vehicle to satisfy CM Punk winning without 'Taker tapping in a submission match. Expect Hell in a Cell to add to CM Punk's rise to stardom.

On Legacy... RAW needs more younger, also-believable stars since its top stars ain't getting younger either. Making DX lose to Ted and Cody can help "put over" them as credible wrestlers who can beat the great ones at the PPV. But expect another bum-shaka-lacka of a PPV match next, and expect DX to win in Hell in a Cell, like how they expectedly won in Unforgiven 2007 when they shoved Vince's face in Big Show's crack. You'll have to make these greenhorns win once in a while to build them for more PPV matches, no? Making them keep losing to DX, that would suck even worse.

They skipped John Morrison and Dolph Ziggler for lack of storyline paunch. You can't just throw in IC match after IC match in a PPV. Now let the US Title take defense while SD can build up a feud between Dolph and John.

And oh yes, the Jeff Hardy side. I'm a fair and just guy, I like to hear from both sides of an argument before siding with any one of them. I don't like to pass instant judgment. I'd like to hear his side first, then I decide.
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Garden of Madness wrote...
And speaking of things that fail, how 'bout Breaking Point?


Breaking Point Review, y'all!


And Beware!
This is really, really long. (reason for the spoiler)
Okay, ready? Here we go!

Spoiler:
So things started out okay with MVP and Mark Henry vs Jeri-Show. Decent match. Just kinda whatever.

Then Miz vs Kofi stepped things up. I thought their match was really good. I was genuinely surprised by the quality of Miz's performance. That match would've stolen the show for me if not for...

...Legacy vs DX! They had an awesomely brutal match and I loved it. These guys are really good at beating each other up. And it was made even better by Legacy winning. I figured WWE would never go outside of their WWE Box of Standard Outcomes so that was a welcomed surprise.
Here's hoping for a tag team Hell in a Cell match next PPV. *crosses fingers*

But alas. These feelings of elation were not meant to last.

Queue everything going to shit...
NOW!

Next match; Kane vs Khali.
Snore!
Kane is good! Put him in there with someone who, oh, I don't know, has a better moveset than fucking Frankenstein's monster! GAHL!

Then after that was Regal vs Christian. It was alright actually. I liked it, but still a kinda forgettable match.


But now we come to the main events!
This is what's billed as the biggest and best matches of the PPV!
They should be super hardcore buttsex awesome, right?!
WRONG!
Terrible main events! Just awful!

First of all, what's the point in putting Golden Boy John Cena in an I Quit match. WWE would never, NEVER let him show weakness of ANY kind! And that match was boring as shit! If I wanted to see a guy chain up another guy and torture him, I'd... well I'd probably be gay. haha. But seriously, did anyone else laugh at how homoerotic that was? Maybe I just find anything Randy Orton does as gay though. :lol:
Anyway, back to the match!
So this torture went on stagnantly for what felt like forever until the prophet John Cena cast off the shackles of oppression and defeated the evil, demented Viper-like beast to reclaim his lost treasure! <--- John Cena's interpretation of the match the next night on Raw. :roll:
And another thing that really bugged about the match was that Orton quit like 7 seconds after the STF was applied. How lame is that?!
That match just sucked all around.

Sidenote:
Could they have used the term "breaking point" anymore in this fucking PPV?!
Fuck you, commentating team! Fuck you!

:Back to my shitty review:


Okay, so here we go! Finally, it's the Undertaker vs CM Punk match! Something to salvage the previous match! Hooray!
... Oh, but, what's this? This match is just as bad as the last one?!
NO!!!!
*sigh*

Sooo, yeah, here's how it went down:
They basically, just go back and forth, nothing really going on, and BOOM!, Taker wins just like that. Crappy ending right?
Oh, but wait! It gets worse! Vickie Guerrero banned that move! (I know what you're thinking, who the hell is she? She was that screeching pig-monster that they made Edge kiss all the time. Yeah, her.) Anyway, so that calls for them to restart the match!
So Punk locks in the Anaconda Vise and the ref calls for the bell without a tap out....
Are you serious?
Was that supposed to be funny? Was WWE trying to be cute? Did they think people would get a kick out of it?! Seriously, that was.. just... something else.
And let me make myself clear, I'm not mad that Taker got screwed, it's happens, it's wrestling, I get it; I'm mad that they decided to it in such a.. a...
I really can't think of the right word to describe what that was.
Predictable?
Unimaginative?
Boring?
Desperate?
Or just plain stupid?!
I don't know. Take your pick.

*deep breath*
And rant ends....
NOW!


So overall, I guess it was a decent show with mostly good matches. I'm just really upset by the main events.
Oh, and one more thing, they skipped JoMo vs Ziggler!
What, they couldn't have fit that in with all their groundbreaking new material like John Cena overcoming the odds and a Montreal screwing for the Undertaker? 'Cause, ya know, they really needed Kane vs Khali in the show! Goddammit! I mean, seriously-NO! Done ranting...
For now...

Ah well, maybe a Punk vs Taker Hell in a Cell match can make me forget about all this debauchery.

MMMM... Just knowing the next PPV is Hell in a Cell is already getting my hopes up that it'll be bett...Oh man, I just realized that the Cena/Orton rivalry probably isn't over yet!
NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

*passes out from lameness overdose and too much pizza*


And that's my review.
See ya next PPV :D ... :) ... :? ... :( ... :cry:


Awesome review. +1 rep.

Fucking John Cena won. I'm seriously gonna stop watching Raw until Cena loses the title for good. I still remember his long ass reign from 2006-2007 like it was yesterday. Boring and not a single exciting feud. The saddest part is that nobody pinned him to win the title. And yes, I'm a Randy Orton mark.

Also, I agree with you point of the WWE overusing "breaking point". You can blame Michael Cole for that. How that man still has a job is beyond me.

Thank god I didn't buy tickets for tonight's Raw in Toronto. I was regretting it at first but now I'm happy. Damn, why couldn't we get Smackdown/ECW instead of Hamilton? Lucky bastards.
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jmason wrote...
Spoiler:
Yep, quite a pillbox of a review you got there. But you'll have to dig inside the rubble to find the gold, right?

They need CM Punk vs Undertaker to escalate and culminate somewhere since they're on a "transition phase" as Jericho gleefully points out in Twitter, they need to build new bankable stars such as CM Punk. Tell you what, did you think Edge sucked when he kept creeping his way into title matches and you thought the way they handled his title reigns and losses sucked? Well, congratulations, you just bought out and believed the McMahon-Hayes ideology. They wanted you to think like that. In reality, they're trying to build Edge's heel persona as a star you'd love to despise. And he's good at it, he's promo-worthy, he knows how to ride the boos, and he knows how to elicit reaction. And they did. Edge is no more second-tier star - he's up there in the main event card.

CM Punk is being built as a heelish cocky star since the reigning heel is out until next year. And a lasting feud against 'Taker is a good way, as with 'Taker did with Edge. If Undertaker won in this PPV, it's a badly-made necessity. If CM Punk won via submission, it's also bad since they're banking on the Phenom to not tap out. You may think that an allusion to the Montreal Screwjob sucks, but you have to admit it's a perfect vehicle to satisfy CM Punk winning without 'Taker tapping in a submission match. Expect Hell in a Cell to add to CM Punk's rise to stardom.

On Legacy... RAW needs more younger, also-believable stars since its top stars ain't getting younger either. Making DX lose to Ted and Cody can help "put over" them as credible wrestlers who can beat the great ones at the PPV. But expect another bum-shaka-lacka of a PPV match next, and expect DX to win in Hell in a Cell, like how they expectedly won in Unforgiven 2007 when they shoved Vince's face in Big Show's crack. You'll have to make these greenhorns win once in a while to build them for more PPV matches, no? Making them keep losing to DX, that would suck even worse.

They skipped John Morrison and Dolph Ziggler for lack of storyline paunch. You can't just throw in IC match after IC match in a PPV. Now let the US Title take defense while SD can build up a feud between Dolph and John.

And oh yes, the Jeff Hardy side. I'm a fair and just guy, I like to hear from both sides of an argument before siding with any one of them. I don't like to pass instant judgment. I'd like to hear his side first, then I decide.


This is off-topic, but, congrats for Elder, jmason. See you around in the future. :)
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Azuran wrote...
Fucking John Cena won. I'm seriously gonna stop watching Raw until Cena loses the title for good. I still remember his long ass reign from 2006-2007 like it was yesterday. Boring and not a single exciting feud. The saddest part is that nobody pinned him to win the title. And yes, I'm a Randy Orton mark.

Also, I agree with you point of the WWE overusing "breaking point". You can blame Michael Cole for that. How that man still has a job is beyond me.

Yeah, John Cena monopolizes too much time. And they have a some decent mid-carders but they never give them enough attention.
Smackdown's better in that aspect. Well, for a while now Smackdown's just been better overall. But of course, WWE had to douche it up with the addition of Batista to the roster! Woo hoo. He's soooo boring! I was really hoping that injury would've lasted longer.

But in better news, we're gonna get a Legacy vs DX Hell in a Cell match! Their match on Sunday has my hopes up that this will be awesome!


And @ jmason, I was really angry when I wrote that (real life stuff + annoyance at PPVs) so I only meant it about half as much. But I did mean it. :D
The Montreal Ripoff, err, Screwjob thing was desperation on part of WWE. I guess I was maybe offended that they thought they could do the same thing again and expect the same reaction. It felt like they were trying to be cocky or something. I don't know how to explain it.
And the Morrison vs Ziggler thing; well they still could've done it. There's really no story between Miz and Kofi other than Miz has some mission or whatever to win the US title. Truthfully, I just hate Khali and see no place for him in WWE and thought that match was a waste of however long it lasted.
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jmason Curious and Wondering
@Garden of Madness: Yep, it did came out of desperation, maybe Hayes slacked off on thinking of a more original idea. But given the Montreal reaction, they maybe expected it afterall. They're the Screwjob capital, no one can mention legit screwjobs without mentioning Montreal.

Oh yes. I somehow hate Khali. I disliked him more when he used an Indian rapper theme song and having his own Kisscam. But since, Vince likes big men, we can't do much about it.

On second mention, Khali's scripted to go down this Friday with an injury, this is so to keep him off for a surgery and he'll be off for long, possibly beyond WM. Enjoy your Smackdown ^_^
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jmason wrote...
On second mention, Khali's scripted to go down this Friday with an injury, this is so to keep him off for a surgery and he'll be off for long, possibly beyond WM. Enjoy your Smackdown ^_^


We would if Batista didn't get traded. My biggest fear is that they're gonna turn Punk into a cowardly heel like they did with Edge and Orton. Right now, Punk has been a strong heel accepts all challenges and never backs down when his face to face with the hero. Now that's he's probably gonna enter a feud with Batista and/or Taker, I feel that will no longer be the case.

Well. at least it was fun while it lasted.

Also, Zack Ryder is the #1 contender on ECW. Awesome!
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jmason Curious and Wondering
Azuran wrote...
jmason wrote...
On second mention, Khali's scripted to go down this Friday with an injury, this is so to keep him off for a surgery and he'll be off for long, possibly beyond WM. Enjoy your Smackdown ^_^


We would if Batista didn't get traded. My biggest fear is that they're gonna turn Punk into a cowardly heel like they did with Edge and Orton. Right now, Punk has been a strong heel accepts all challenges and never backs down when his face to face with the hero. Now that's he's probably gonna enter a feud with Batista and/or Taker, I feel that will no longer be the case.

Well. at least it was fun while it lasted.

Also, Zack Ryder is the #1 contender on ECW. Awesome!


Well, the "cowardly heel" worked for Edge in the long run, am I right? Probably the same with CM Punk, although it remains to be seen how tasteful it will be.

Zack Ryder... ahem. Vince really like to push the buttons on the new guys, ain't he? We'll see... I actually prefer it if it's Shelton vs Christian in the future, like a good feud for the platinum belt.
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I REALLY NEED to go back watching wrestling more often. damn...
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Batista is back! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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Azuran wrote...
My biggest fear is that they're gonna turn Punk into a cowardly heel like they did with Edge and Orton. Right now, Punk has been a strong heel accepts all challenges and never backs down when his face to face with the hero. Now that's he's probably gonna enter a feud with Batista and/or Taker, I feel that will no longer be the case.

Well. at least it was fun while it lasted.

Also, Zack Ryder is the #1 contender on ECW. Awesome!

I'm thinking the same thing. Punk is probably gonna turn into a bitch now.

And Zack Ryder? I hate that guy. Of course I rarely watch ECW and all I know about him is that he wears those gay ass tights with only one leg and just looks douchey as hell. But I guess his face is part of his gimmick but why the pants? Why?

And who else thinks that Abraham Washington guy THE MOST BORING piece of crap ever? I thought he'd be canned after the first week but they keep using his abomination of a talk show. Do they think people like it? I'm pretty sure that whenever he comes out people yell "THIS IS BORING!"
It's painfully boring to watch him, honestly.
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i love wwe, and will always..............but i gotta say, TNA has been more entertaining lately.
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DirtyDingusMcgee wrote...
i love wwe, and will always..............but i gotta say, TNA has been more entertaining lately.


That's because Jeff Jarrett is not in charge right now. That man can't book for shit without putting himself over in some way.
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Azuran wrote...
DirtyDingusMcgee wrote...
i love wwe, and will always..............but i gotta say, TNA has been more entertaining lately.


That's because Jeff Jarrett is not in charge right now. That man can't book for shit without putting himself over in some way.


agreed.
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jmason Curious and Wondering
Azuran wrote...
DirtyDingusMcgee wrote...
i love wwe, and will always..............but i gotta say, TNA has been more entertaining lately.


That's because Jeff Jarrett is not in charge right now. That man can't book for shit without putting himself over in some way.


Yep. Agreed. I mean, for the starting years of the company, he almost always hold the title or is the top shit of some sort.

That's why active wrestlers aren't good bookers. Kevin Sullivan, Ric Flair (as Mick Foley attests), Kevin Nash weren't good bookers in WCW.
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Oh man, I'm so happy they're throwing Batista into the tag team scene to get him away from the WH title for at least a little while. Also I'm kinda mad they're gonna pair him up with Rey 'cause I always wanna see Rey in the WH scene. And Kane too. He gets screwed all the time. Oh well.
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jmason Curious and Wondering
Garden of Madness wrote...
Oh man, I'm so happy they're throwing Batista into the tag team scene to get him away from the WH title for at least a little while. Also I'm kinda mad they're gonna pair him up with Rey 'cause I always wanna see Rey in the WH scene. And Kane too. He gets screwed all the time. Oh well.


Rey in the WH scene... don't expect it for at least 4-6 months. Remember, he got suspended. You can't just throw in him the main arena immediately. Recall that Jeff Hardy was suspended before WM24. It took him at least 8 months before WWE had the confidence to gave him the belt. Basically WWE needs to be convinced you can carry the company without screwing up during a big title reign (WHC,WWE-C,ECW-C) - they have learned that from RVD. And since Rey screwed up DURING an IC title reign, it could take him some more time.

The tag-team part for Batista and Rey is just prep for them to the higher ground, especially Rey since WWE needs him to get back and fly.
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CM Punk 2-0 Undertaker.

HA! The Straight Edge Superstar has the the Phenom's number. Hopefully he's 3-0 afte Hell in a Cell.

:)
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jmason Curious and Wondering
Azuran wrote...
CM Punk 2-0 Undertaker.

HA! The Straight Edge Superstar has the Phenom's number. Hopefully he's 3-0 afte Hell in a Cell.

:)


There's an upside to that; WWE wants to build CM Punk as a solid heel champion in the same mold as Edge (probably not as strongly-built heel as Orton, but in a few years maybe). A win against Undertaker could bolster that. Probably he can battle Batista at Armageddon (if they add 'Taker as a triple threat, better).

But, recall WWE history. When the Undertaker engages in a feud, there are only three ways to break him off it and/or start another:
1. He finally vanquishes the foe, defeating him in a final decisive match.
Example: Edge (Summerslam 08), Khali, Orton (Armageddon 05)
2. Somebody screws him in a feud, and he'll go after the bastard who screwed him.
Example: Mark Henry, Kane (Survivor Series 03), Big Show
3. A major injury that needs surgery.

So if CM Punk will win HIAC next week, it's a pretty good hunch either the feud ain't over, or someone will screw Taker in the PPV, or his knees get banged up.
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You forgot about the feud that drags on way too long that people stop caring about it. (Ex. JBL vs Taker, 2004-05)
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jmason wrote...
Rey in the WH scene... don't expect it for at least 4-6 months. Remember, he got suspended. You can't just throw in him the main arena immediately. Recall that Jeff Hardy was suspended before WM24. It took him at least 8 months before WWE had the confidence to gave him the belt. Basically WWE needs to be convinced you can carry the company without screwing up during a big title reign (WHC,WWE-C,ECW-C) - they have learned that from RVD. And since Rey screwed up DURING an IC title reign, it could take him some more time.

The tag-team part for Batista and Rey is just prep for them to the higher ground, especially Rey since WWE needs him to get back and fly.

Oh I know that after someone screws up they get dicked around; I was saying that they never really gave Rey the attention in the first place. With this suspension, now they have a reason to never give him the title.

And about Hell in a Cell, I'm guessing Undertaker's gonna win because a) they legalized his Hell's Gate thing, b) Punk's gotten over on him for the past couple weeks and usually that's the guy who loses at the PPVs, and c) it'd be highly unlikely for him to lose in the Cell unless he gets screwed again. Which, actually, is pretty likely to happen. Maybe someone will interfere. We know how WWE likes to recycle, so maybe Kane will come and ruin Taker's shot so they can go play brother vs brother for the hundredth time. That would be fun, wouldn't it?