leonard267 Posts

Agreed. However, I think the Pokémon franchise did a bit of what you have said. I loved it when I could return to regions from previous games which is why I liked the Gold and Silver versions. I also liked Black 2 and White 2 because it brought back characters from previous games. So, they did attempt to have their cake and eat it. A shame that X and Y did not do it that much.

I even agree with Pyre (though he said that in jest) that I could have spent my time more productively but as with all games and everything else, so long everything is taken in moderation what harm is there?

I will add you as soon as I can.

I hope you did not mind the reference to the UK in my previous post.

For me, I like reading stories where characters and settings are made clear. For example, the intentions of the Beast of Chaos or what it looked like can be explained in detail in the story proper but I would like it made clear what it did. Even if its motives are not known I would like it made clear that it is not known.

Not to say that a good story has to follow that method. These are just my preferences.

Like him to read what I write. I do remember trying to take part in his roleplay.

Thank you! I am called So-so, my friend code is 0834 1487 6458

It sounds like a parody of Sword Art Online and Accel World based on what I am hearing . They even got the same voice actor from Sword Art Online to voice one of the main characters!

Played the game for the story. Did not enjoy X and Y as much as White 2 and Black 2. Gym leaders in Gen V more memorable than Gen VI due to their prominence in the storyline.

I agree with Gravity Cat on the Pokémon games. Once I am in post-Elite Four for X and Y, I did not feel like continuing unless I somehow managed to find a way to get Pokémon from previous generations. This is why I am getting my hands on older games.

I have say that for Black 2 and White 2, there is still a great deal of exploration after defeating the Elite Four. I did not feel the same for X and Y.

Is it alright if I add you Foreground?

I hope you would not mind this post. Like d, I did a bit of proofreading for your story. Unlike d who goes for grammatical errors, I am more concerned about content. The introduction of Chapter 1, though d would not agree with me, is my favourite part of your story. I thought that it is the most important so I would be focusing on that.

There was once said to be a land, a land ruled by a single empire. This land was guarded by the God of Light who fell in love with a priestess. This God was said to have found the power of the four Pillars of power that allowed him to pass on power to mortals and physically involve himself in the affairs of mortals.

However, he grew overconfident in his powers and cracks began to form in the once-great Empire to the point where it split into four independent nations.

Why did his overconfidence with his powers lead to the destruction of the Empire? I think another clause can be added in it. For example, "However he grew overconfident with his powers and neglected the affairs of the Empire leading it to splinter into four nations." Of course, I don't think you intended the God of Light to be negligent do you?



With the split of these nations, the God’s power was split with them and his authority was greatly diminished as a result. By the chance of poor timing, or perhaps by the other Gods deciding that they had grown tired of The God of Light’s power, the beast of Chaos attacked the world and killed millions in the newly divided Empire.

I thought the Beast of Chaos attacked because the Gods turned their backs from the God of Light. If there could be a clause describing what the other Gods are and what do they have to do in deterring the Beast from attacking, I could understand the God of Light's and the Beast's circumstances much better.

I also thought that I was missing something and asked myself what did poor timing have to do with the Beast attacking? Was the God of Light vulnerable when the Beast attacked? Did the movement of the stars and planets greatly favoured the Beast?

This was how I interpreted that paragraph:
"The God of Light's prestige fell with the Empire. The Lesser Gods, independent beings who wield great power over the forces of nature and who once suborned themselves to the God of Light out of deference to his once greater power, became estranged with the God of Light.

The Beast of Chaos, a malevolent creature with powers rivaling that of the Gods and whose ambition was to possess the lands the Empire covered and make thralls of her inhabitants seized the opportunity to claim the lands it so coveted. With the Empire divided and the Gods disunited, the Beast managed to conquer large swathes of the Empire. It took the lives of millions of men and that of the God of Light to repel the advances of the Beast and drive him back to the void whence it came.


The Beast of chaos is a being who opposes the Gods, but none more than the God of Light himself so he attacked at the best possible opportunity. The God of Light was defeated in battle and with him, any hope for the crumbling Empire. Much of what happened once the Beast of Chaos defeated The God of Light has been lost in the years since but what is known is the kingdoms largely survived or managed to recover for the most part.

But with every age of darkness, hope will always arise. The head priestess of the Religion that worshiped the God of Light survived the events and gave birth to a new lineage of her own: The lineage of Light. These men and women had unbelievable magical power and united the world around them, decades after the destruction the Beast had caused. But even with hope, the lands still desired their own independence and the lineage of light was killed off in wars known as the †˜Unification Wars’ and assassinations until they lost all power and authority; just like the God of Light himself.

The God of Light had left one last gift before he had left, he had left the four pillars to give humans the magical powers he had once possessed. Spells and magic had been created and named in order to protect the nations from each-other and help balance the power of the world.

I presumed that that happened after the God of Light perished? I would place the paragraph above right after describing the death of the God of Light or after describing how the Lineage of Light begun. I nearly thought that the God of Light left the gift after the Lineage of Light was nearly destroyed.

I believe that there is a connection between the Lineage of the Light and the powers the God of Light bequeathed upon the remnants of the Empire isn't there?


Four millennia after the defeat at the hands of the Beast of Chaos: A peace treaty had been brokered between the four independent nations that had once made up the Empire: The land of Altera who are the most northern of the nations and live in the snowy lands. The land of Despra who are the weakest of the nations and are the most influenced by the Empire of old. The land of Light who base everything about their society on the old Religious texts of the empire. And finally, the land of Xion; a military nation who desire the absolute unification of the nations under their own banner.

You can indicate that it was four millennia after the death of the God of Light when the events of the story proper take place. You can drop a hint of how the story would develop. I don't think most people would do that though. My approach to stories is treat it like a non-fictional report due to my reading habits. I was thinking around the lines:


"It was four millennia after the fall of the God of Light when the events leading to his resurrection take place. By then an uneasy peace was brokered between the four kingdoms that made the former Empire, England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland..."

Sorry for the very late reply. Glad to know that both of us responded to the prompt by writing in the styles we prefer the most.

I love them.

This is what a prologue should do at least, provide information about an alien universe to the reader. I really don't know how you manage but if a story begins without providing information about its universe, I am turned off. Chances are I will put down that book not because it is not well written but because I could not understand it.

I will state again that prologues are not merely stories and they needn't be stories at all. Romeo and Juliet started by with a prologue stating the setting of the story, Tales from Canterbury started by stating that people are coming together for a story telling competition and described what the people were. Lord of the Rings of course is my favourite format for a prologue, just information.

I have posted a 600 word nonsense story on the "Prompt" thread. Same writing style as usual.

Before I begin, I have to apologise. I understand myself to be reluctant to follow rules and I hope you would allow me to write something relevant to the prompt below even though I would not follow the requirements to the letter.



The outsider would deem any trade, notwithstanding how mundane it might seem to be, as strange and exotic, him not knowing its ways and its secrets. So, whenever the two brothers told anyone of their trade and profession and the organisation they worked for, the response would be, "What a strange organisation!" The brothers' response to that response would be a lack of a response, so taken aback by the response of the person or persons they divulged their livelihood to.

The reader, who so unfortunately spent his or her time on reading the previous paragraph, might be interested to know what the brothers do for a living nonetheless. It is indeed mundane and not noteworthy. As the brothers describe it, it involves the movement of objects big or small, short or tall all around a sphere of rock embellished with a film of water thousands of miles in diameter. Devices used to house those objects vary from small paper envelopes to the occasional steel enclosures (if the cash flow is good and the company is in good condition)

What a strange job! Indeed anyone could have said that if he or she decided to describe working at a delivery company like that!

However, it turns out that at the point where our story begins, the cash flow is not good and the company is not good condition and a cost cutting regime is implemented in the company the brothers work for. This meant that they were assigned to more tasks whilst drawing an even lower salary than before! One of these tasks is to deliver parcels within a 5 mile radius of their office after an eight to four work day by the desk.

Tough times but the brothers (and partners) knew that when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. Notwithstanding how uneconomical and stupid this arrangement was, they toiled day and night delivering parcels and watching their desks. That was until a strange parcel arrived for the brothers to deliver.

It was strange because it looked strange, it felt strange, the contents in it were strange, the sender was strange and the receiver was strange. The parcel contained the strangest of things to be ever placed in a parcel, something that is known by the layman as nothing. The sender was strange because it had the same name as the receiver. Stranger still was the strange way the strange parcel was strange looking! Strangely enough, the brothers decided to deliver the strange parcel anyway, so conditioned to their work that their minds work strangely!

As the sun set and the poorly maintained streetlights begun to flicker on and off, the brothers made their way to where the addressee of the parcel lived. They knocked on the door announced their presence only to find that the addressee was someone they did not quite expect.



Why did their mother send an empty parcel to herself? The brothers did not understand at first. When they saw the expression on their mother's face, they knew. How unfilial they were trying to eke a living and leaving their mother in the lurch! Their mother, who wanted nothing else but to see them again decided to send an empty parcel to herself in the hope that her sons would deliver for her! (Putting aside the fact that she did not know for sure who would be delivering the parcel to her and the fact that she should be fully aware of the brother's situation at work which is rather implausible.) What was delivered to her was not the empty parcel but the brothers, her sons, whom she so loved!

Just in case the reader is expecting a mushy ending, he or she might be relieved to know that the mother was so happy to see her children that she died on the spot. The brothers found out that she had left them a huge inheritance meaning that they needn't work a day for the rest of their lives. Happy endings for all!

The powerful message behind this tale is, "Be a filial child. Being filial means that your parents will leave you a large inheritance when they die so that you needn't work a day for the rest of your lives!" This is what every mortal being who has not have their parents dead should bear in mind!

This is another story that is to your tastes.
https://www.fakku.net/forums/writing-and-fanfiction/an-in-progress-yuri-book

An idea occurred to me. It seems that a Hellsing, Twilight, Harry Potter and the Abolition of Britain crossover could be one of the most wonderful things that could be put onto paper.

I have forgotten to post my entry.

Why Not Happy?

My reaction was mixed as well but it is the entire opposite of yours.

The prologue made no sense to me because I did not know what are the Pillars of Light, what is the Beast of Chaos or what does the High Priestess do. It was upon reading the exposition on the first chapter where I started to become interested in the story because of the "infodumping" and the prologue begun to make a little more sense.

(I am still a bit confused as to how the Pillars of Light were related to the Empire and why the Beast of Chaos attacked when the God of Light decided to turn his back on the other gods and get married to a mortal and why go into detail of the story of the death of the God of Light instead of explaining it in third person as in Chapter 1.)

d, Yuri, both of you might be familiar with what I think prologues are. I don't think that they are simply stories that happened before the main storyline. They are supposed to be introduce the universe the story is set in so that what follows after make sense. It is ironic that the first chapter of Yuri's story did just that but not in the prologue!

I see the same problem in Mibuchiha's Kierre story and your Age of Anarchy. They appear to the stories that are set before the timeline of the story proper instead of a proper prologue (which can be a huge infodump). As far as prologues are concerned, I take the Lord of the Rings prologue as the standard. It is just pages and pages of information about hobbits with no actual contribution to the story proper.

Instead of calling it a prologue, Chapter 0 would be much more appropriate.

I am entertaining thoughts of reading part of the first chapter after reading (part of) it. I enjoyed it for two reasons.

First, it was easy to read. It is light on the plot and goes straight to the point quite alike to the comics posted on this website. I am of the impression that thinking too much is not required and ought to be discouraged. So I won't delve too much into why Maaya was dismayed upon knowing that Kanade knew of her powers or why it wasn't Maaya threatening Kanade against telling anyone else of her powers.

Secondly, though writing erotica and homosexuality do not go well with me, the first chapter of the story was entertaining as I pictured making fun of it in my mind. Not to say that it is bad (far from it); it is merely my reaction to stories that resemble a typical story from a Japanese comic or cartoon. They may be surreal but light hearted and innocent, the perfect antithesis to whatever I write (if you bothered going through the topics I created)

Did you come up with the first few chapters within less than a week? I have tried writing nearly 10000 words but it took me a month to do so. (You can see the final result by clicking on one of my links in my signature: Evidence that I have a Huge Ego)

One wonders how would the user react to zero data?

What is with the Pokémon themed profile picture of yours?

The Pursuit of Unhapynurs Unhappiness / Why Not Happy?

Those who know me or who are at least familiar with me and what I write would know that happiness does not go well with me and that I write many unpleasant scenarios whereby happiness barely figures in them. (Never mind that some, albeit very few, felt happy after reading them ironically and regrettably) There are reasons behind why this is so, of which I would explain in detail below)

Reason #1. Happiness is poorly defined. I don't like things that are poorly defined.

It seemed to me that happiness is very elusive. Most people upon hearing this would ruminate about why it is unattainable and begin attributing the absence of happiness to this and that without really addressing what happiness is precisely. The more I thought about it, the more convinced I am that the reason why happiness is beyond the reach of so many is because no one ever gave a proper definition to it!

One can quote Confucius at this point, "If definitions are screwed, language is screwed. If language is screwed, affairs will be screwed up. If affairs are screwed up, everything will be screwed up. When everything is screwed up, need we continue this slippery slope argument?" Putting aside the accuracy of this translation which can be a very difficult matter considering the difficulties of translating Archaic Chinese, a dead language, into English, there is a ring of truth that names and the definitions that come along with it is very, very important.

Happiness appears to have something to do with pleasure but pleasure itself isn't happiness. When one presses what is happiness then if not pleasure, which is quite quantifiable and identifiable, I imagine Xenon, an acquaintance of mine, replying that it is 'more than just simple pleasure and it is something incredibly wonderful that is beyond definition.'

If a concept is not properly defined, I would doubt its existence. Should one uses vague concepts like 'happiness' in a sentence, I would find it necessary for clarification. Indeed, one of the sentences that would leave my eyebrows twitching for most of the day would be, "MY GOAL IN LIFE IS TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS!" The person who utters this sentence must have very unclear goals and motivations on what he or she wishes to do with his or her life!

Of course one can point out that there are many concepts thrown at our poor minds to grapple that are as vague as happiness, 'good', 'evil', 'freedom', 'democracy', 'tyranny' being some of them. Yet, we seem to be coping well with them. My counter argument to that must be, "Oh yeah?!" Perhaps it is the strong influence of Confucianism that is the culprit behind my attitude towards this for I believe, as Confucius and his followers did, that screwed up definitions makes for a screwed up world!

Reason #2. If happiness means contentment then I don't want to be happy!

There is a Chinese saying that I won't go into detail but which roughly equates contentment to happiness. While this is the best definition of happiness that I have encountered so far (as contentment is quite observable), I have my concerns about it. Contentment or being happy with your lot in life must mean that one accepts all of the problems, serious or otherwise, that come along with it. That is a prospect that I do not relish at all.

Others may be entitled to see happiness as contentment and a state of mind worthy of pursuit. There may be something in that line of thought that one has to admire. After all, putting up with the many inconveniences and the many injustices that may come along with one's less than perfect circumstances is no easy feat. However, I am afraid I do not share those sentiments for I see it as a great impediment and a dismissible excuse not to engage in betterment and progress.

I see progress as a response to the many problems Man has to face. The wheel must have been invented to free Man from hobbling on his two feet. Weapons were invented to solve the problem of being mauled to death by beasts and bludgeoned to death by bigger and stronger enemies. Imagine if one applies the definition of happiness as contentment in that scenario. Imagine if one were to be content with making do with our bodies that are poorly made to deal with the elements. Being content in such a situation must mean that we abandon possibly the only effective instrument that our bodies are equipped to deal with this harsh and evil world, namely our minds.

One may point out that contentment is a virtue not a vice for it applies to situations when one is faced with problems that are beyond one's ability to resolve. To that, my response would be another "Oh yeah?!" The problem might be insurmountable but surely one is better off finding out if it is really the case by endeavouring to surmount it! I can't see a state of contentment (defined to be happiness for those of you who point out that this argument is beginning to have little to do with happiness) or happiness being of any utility in this case!

Reason #3. Unhappiness, defined to be a lack of contentment, is a virtue!

If I equate a lack of contentment to unhappiness then I must reach this seemingly absurd conclusion that unhappiness is a virtue! I am comfortable with that notion though for reasons I have stated above. A lack of contentment or unhappiness shows an inclination to solve whatever problems that one encounters.

One can dispute this definition of happiness. An unhappy man who lost a loved one may not be in a state of discontentment. I think otherwise. A state of despair to me is a state of discontentment which can be a powerful motivation to engage in activities to better his circumstances. Neither it is a given that a discontented person would be inclined to solve his problems in a constructive manner. For example, a person who uses mind altering substances in an act of stupid escapism. Yet, I see unhappiness (defined as discontentment) as indispensable in the pursuit of progress which I am beholden to.

One can disagree with that definition of happiness as contentment but whether is it because happiness is vaguely defined or the problems that come with happiness defined as contentment, I am scornful of the notion of happiness.

As I bring a close to this idle banter, I can't help but to wonder if one would view my contributions to this forum differently if he or she knows that these are thoughts I have as I put my pen onto paper.

This is a last minute entry. Yoohan contacted me wanting me to contribute. This was what I had in mind as soon as he approached me.

Sora's project aside, I have found a video that resembles the Chinese video you have posted in the forums quite some time ago. This time however, I think you can understand it.



Contrast this with the video you shared with me which I translated (badly)




Now, if we post this somewhere prominent in the forums, read the nasty comments about those videos (and those who posted it), we might come up with a story for Sora. Perhaps a cyberattack on Sora's virtual world with both these videos in protest of a language ban of sorts.