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I will say that again though that it is well written. I just dislike the hedonism and the flippant attitude towards suicide that is so characteristic of the 1960s and Japan respectively which the book portrays so well.

A degree in Civil Engineering and I will be managing construction sites if all goes well. I have posted another entry for the Mudslinging thread. This time, it is Mibuchiha's entry. Take that as my farewell gift.

They aren't that well written though. I have promised many people that I would do come up with parodies so it pays to make promises that are hard to keep.

5. Non-parody of Mibuchiha's Entry : An Exposition Giving a Piece of My Mind

Mibuchiha, you may regret asking me to tell you what Norwegian Wood is about because I decided to write a review of the story in my style which is rather difficult to appreciate.

If you don't want to read the book thoroughly and favour a synopsis, here is the Wikipedia link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Wood_(novel)

Here is the e-copy of the novel itself. Not sure when it will be taken down:

http://www.macobo.com/essays/epdf/Haruki%20Murakami%20-%20Norwegian%20Wood.pdf

The translator did a good job. It is very easy to read perhaps because of the first person perspective and the simple language used. I deem a well written article to be one that can be browsed through at 2000 words a minute. This is one example.

Now should you proceed further, feel free to make withering remarks about my review of Norwegian Wood:

Norwegian Wood was set in the 1960s, a bizarre era where (almost) everyone took leave of their senses and decided to complete the ruin and devastation the Second War wrought by bringing about social and cultural ruin. Established traditions and views on fidelity and modesty were driven to the ground to be spat on. Nearly all of my short life I came to wrongly associate these so-called value systems that replaced these time-honoured traditions as "Western values". I know better now.

It did not affect my part of the world but it sure did affect the West and that Asian anomaly of a country that thinks it is part of the West called Japan. Personally, I feel sorry for their descendants who had to suffer the consequences of the excesses of the sixties. Call this expression of disgust a pointless digression if one wills. However, this airing of opinions serves as explanation of my biases towards Norwegian Wood and the background of this story. Now, allow me to complain about it:

The title is of course derived from that song from that band from that era. The protagonist Tarou Watanabe Toru (Surnames come before the name in this part of the world. I personally don't endorse the silly drive to adopt Western naming conventions that followed the Meiji Restoration.) begins recounting his wasted life as a wasted wastrel in what can be called a wasteland of a country called Japan in the late 1960s that then specialises in the manufacture of less than quality products and cars that break down before one can finish singing, "So I lit a fire. Isn't it good that I burnt down some Norwegian wood?"

What followed was a (morose and dare I say whiny?) recollection of a series of ghastly activities like engaging in copulation at an age when I was doing things more worthy of pursuit, like receiving a proper education and deciding that that age is a good age to kick the bucket as a nod to more primitive times a hundred thousand years ago when the lifespan of a human being was no more than twenty years. That I feel serves as the best summary of the entire book.

Yet, what is a book review without going in to what actually happened other than the rather vague assertion that the entire book is about inserting one's appendage into any orifice imaginable and killing oneself after that is done? Here are a few examples that I will try to list in a chronological fashion:


1a) Story begins with Tarou Toru and two very close friends, Kizuki whose genitals hang out of the body and Naoko whose genitals do not.

1b) Tarou Toru wants to mate with Naoko. Naoko wants to mate with Kizuki.

1c) Kizuki killed himself. Naoko also wants to kill herself after learning that Kizuki killed himself. For your information, Naoko's sister killed as herself as well.

1d) Tarou Toru had a girlfriend during that time. He fooled around with her then dumped her after Kizuki killed himself. The reason for doing so? He is an emotional wreck with no sense of fidelity of responsibility and so can't give a good reason why he wanted to break up with her. He enjoyed his solitude more. He preferred to be single.



2a) Fast forward to college where both Tarou Toru and Naoko, who on reflection ought to have killed themselves by now, were taking drama and literature.

2b) Turns out Naoko wanted to kill herself after all (after doing it with Tarou Toru) so she sent herself to an asylum a sanatorium which was run by a MILF the Moro Islamic Liberation Front an attractive and mature lady called Reiko. More on her later.

2c) Made friends with prone-to-catching-sexually-transmitted-diseases philanderer Nagasawa. He had a girlfriend called Hatsumi who must be suffering the psychological equivalent of a Battered Woman Syndrome. Tarou Toru and Nagasawa had the disturbing habit of picking up women together and doing it so frequently that one wonders if their manhoods have not dropped off in the process.

2d) Shared a room with possibly the only person that I liked in the story called the Stormtrooper. Obsessed about cleanliness, has a Golden Gate Bridge fetish (a fetish that I can fully sympathise with being in construction), styles his hair properly and looks as if he ought to be staying home with his parents, he is refreshing break from the depressing ruminations of sex and suicide.

2e) Acquainted (then fell in love) with what would become a loud, obnoxious and annoying love toy of a humanoid called Midori. If she were one of those Japanese silicon robots with artificial intelligence that are obviously the love toys of the future, I would gladly buy it as a punching bag. The euphemistic terms used to describe people like her could range from ebullient to jocular to easy going. I prefer to use more direct words like ill-bred and promiscuous.



3a) Climax of the story involves everyone disappearing or killing themselves and more attempts at procreation! Hooray!

3b) Naoko killed herself over God knows what. That male slut Nasagawa's girlfriend, Hatsumi, killed herself over God knows what. The Stormtrooper disappeared without a trace but going by the patterns and trends established by what is written so far it is plausible to say that he also killed himself over God knows what. And I wish Midori can kill herself over God knows what. That didn't happen though.

3c) More sticking of Tarou Toru's appendages to the least expected of orifices! Sad and traumatised that your emotional wreck of your childhood friend committed suicide? Go on a pilgrimage with no destination for a few months then **** your new girlfriend and **** the a MILF the Moro Islamic Liberation Front an attractive and mature lady called Reiko who took care of your recently deceased childhood friend!

3d) What happened towards the end of the story could one of the most self-incriminating and infuriating monologues I have ever heard. Apparently Tarou Toru is regretting sleeping around. Of course, he is not as mopey and suicidal as Naoko so he goes about fooling about with Reiko anyway. Speaking of Reiko...

3e) Reiko has a nut loose in her skull like Naoko it seems. She claims that she is sexually assaulted by a thirteen year old female adolescent. To that my response is sceptical and raucous laughter best written in capitalised and bold fonts:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

3f) Looks as if Tarou Toru ended with Midori in the end which was an abrupt and inconclusive question, "Where are you?" How on earth does this connect to that scene at the very beginning of the story where the author is on a plane to West Germany? I can answer that inconclusive question though. It feels as if I am no longer on the mortal plane, having been transported to the netherworld filled with nether regions.


The elephant in the room I feel as I conclude my review of Norwegian Wood is, why is it named thus?

I don't think there were many forests mentioned in the novel, less so Norwegian ones.

I don't recall the story mentioning blocks of wood (which was what the original song meant by wood) in that story though I am convinced that most of the cast in that story are blockheads and deserved to be clubbed by blocks of wood.

One may point to the fact that that emotional wreck Naoko was sensitive to that song and entertained suicidal thoughts upon hearing it. Let me reproduce the song for you:

I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me...
She showed me her room, isn't it good, Norwegian wood?

She asked me to stay and she told me to sit anywhere,
So I looked around and I noticed there wasn't a chair.

I sat on a rug, biding my time, drinking her wine
We talked until two and then she said, "It's time for bed"

She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh.
I told her I didn't and crawled off to sleep in the bath

And when I awoke, I was alone, this bird had flown
So I lit a fire, isn't it good, Norwegian wood.

It is painfully obvious that this song is about a one-night stand. The fact that Naoko feels suicidal about it is a very compelling reason why she should remain in that asylum sanatorium!

However, I am of the opinion that wood in the context of this story ought to the sexual innuendo for some part of the male's body. I am not sure about the constitution or the virility of Norwegian males though but I am sure it should be quite impressive given the number of times our dear hero Tarou Toru fooled around, behaving irresponsibly and hedonistically with no thought about the consequences.

Coupled that with the fascination of suicide and I find myself asking this question to the protagonist of this story and all those who engaged in that disgusting act of killing themselves: How can you justify whatever you have done with vague, unclear and poorly communicated thoughts about your feelings? I say it is much honest to admit that you have poor judgement, poor emotional resilience, you are enslaved to your carnal desires and could do with proper help.

My parents who are of their generation would have never dared to do what these bunch of clowns portrayed in that novel had done and would have despised those who did so. I believe, in a very self-righteous and arrogant fashion, that I, who was born towards the end of the 20th century, never had those 'angsty' and emotionally unsure moments experienced by Tarou Toru and company.

Oh yes, I should sign off with a moral of the story, shouldn't I:

5. Non-parody of Mibuchiha's Entry : An Exposition of the Giving a Piece of My Mind

Mibuchiha, you may regret asking me to tell you what Norwegian Wood is about because I decided to write a review of the story in my style which is rather difficult to appreciate.

If you don't want to read the book thoroughly and favour a synopsis, here is the Wikipedia link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Wood_(novel)

Here is the e-copy of the novel itself. Not sure when it will be taken down:

http://www.macobo.com/essays/epdf/Haruki%20Murakami%20-%20Norwegian%20Wood.pdf

The translator did a good job. It is very easy to read perhaps because of the first person perspective and the simple language used. I deem a well written article to be one that can be browsed through at 2000 words a minute. This is one example.

Now should you proceed further, feel free to make withering remarks about my review of Norwegian Wood:



Norwegian Wood was set in the 1960s, a bizarre era where (almost) everyone took leave of their senses and decided to complete the ruin and devastation the Second War wrought by bringing about social and cultural ruin. Established traditions and views on fidelity and modesty were driven to the ground to be spat on. Nearly all of my short life I came to wrongly associate these so-called value systems that replaced these time-honoured traditions as "Western values". I know better now.

It did not affect my part of the world but it sure did affect the West and that Asian anomaly of a country that thinks it is part of the West called Japan. Personally, I feel sorry for their descendants who had to suffer the consequences of the excesses of the sixties. Call this expression of disgust a pointless digression if one wills. However, this airing of opinions serves as explanation of my biases towards Norwegian Wood and the background of this story. Now, allow me to complain about it:

The title is of course derived from that song from that band from that era. The protagonist Tarou Watanabe Toru (Surnames come before the name in this part of the world. I personally don't endorse the silly drive to adopt Western naming conventions that followed the Meiji Restoration.) begins recounting his wasted life as a wasted wastrel in what can be called a wasteland of a country called Japan in the late 1960s that then specialises in the manufacture of less than quality products and cars that break down before one can finish singing, "So I lit a fire. Isn't it good that I burnt down some Norwegian wood?"

What followed was a (morose and dare I say whiny?) recollection of a series of ghastly activities like engaging in copulation at an age when I was doing things more worthy of pursuit, like receiving a proper education and deciding that that age is a good age to kick the bucket as a nod to more primitive times a hundred thousand years ago when the lifespan of a human being was no more than twenty years. That I feel serves as the best summary of the entire book.

Yet, what is a book review without going in to what actually happened other than the rather vague assertion that the entire book is about inserting one's appendage into any orifice imaginable and killing oneself after that is done? Here are a few examples that I will try to list in a chronological fashion:


1a) Story begins with Tarou Toru and two very close friends, Kizuki whose genitals hang out of the body and Naoko whose genitals do not.

1b) Tarou Toru wants to mate with Naoko. Naoko wants to mate with Kizuki.

1c) Kizuki killed himself. Naoko also wants to kill herself after learning that Kizuki killed himself. For your information, Naoko's sister killed as herself as well.

1d) Tarou Toru had a girlfriend during that time. He fooled around with her then dumped her after Kizuki killed himself. The reason for doing so? He is an emotional wreck with no sense of fidelity of responsibility so so can't give a good reason why he wanted to break up with her. He enjoyed his solitude more. He preferred to be single.



2a) Fast forward to college where both Tarou Toru and Naoko, who on reflection ought to have killed themselves by now, were taking drama and literature.

2b) Turns out Naoko wanted to kill herself after all (after doing it with Tarou Toru) so she sent herself to an asylum a sanatorium which was run by a MILF the Moro Islamic Liberation Front an attractive and mature lady called Reiko. More on her later.

2c) Made friends with prone-to-catching-sexually-transmitted-diseases philanderer Nagasawa. He had a girlfriend called Hatsumi who must be suffering the psychological equivalent of a Battered Woman Syndrome. Tarou Toru and Nagasawa had the disturbing habit of picking up women together and doing it so frequently that one wonders if their manhoods have not dropped off in the process.

2d) Shared a room with possibly the only person that I liked in the story called the Stormtrooper. Obsessed about cleanliness, has a Golden Gate Bridge fetish (a fetish that I can fully sympathise with being in construction), styles his hair properly, looks as if he ought to be staying home with his parents and a refreshing break from the depressing ruminations of sex and suicide.

2e) Acquainted (then fell in love) with what would become a loud, obnoxious and annoying love toy of a humanoid called Midori. If she were one of those Japanese silicon robots with artificial intelligence that are obviously the love toys of the future, I would gladly buy it as a punching bag. The euphemistic terms used to describe people like her could range from ebullient to jocular to easy going. I prefer to use more direct words like ill-bred and promiscuous.



3a) Climax of the story involves everyone disappearing or killing themselves and more attempts at procreation! Hooray!

3b) Naoko killed herself over God knows what. That male slut Nasagawa's girlfriend, Hatsumi, killed herself over God knows what. The Stormtrooper disappeared without a trace but going by the patterns and trends established by what is written so far it is plausible to say that he also killed himself over God knows what. And I wish Midori can kill herself over God knows what. That didn't happen though.

3c) More sticking of Tarou Toru's appendages to the least expected of orifices! Sad and traumatised that your emotional wreck of your childhood friend committed suicide? Go on a pilgrimage with no destination for a few months then **** your new girlfriend and **** the a MILF the Moro Islamic Liberation Front an attractive and mature lady called Reiko who took care of your recently deceased childhood friend!

3d) What happened towards the end of the story could one of the most self-incriminating and infuriating monologues I have ever heard. Apparently Tarou Toru is regretting sleeping around without any consideration of the consequences. Of course, he is not as mopey and suicidal as Naoko so he goes about fooling about with Reiko anyway. Speaking of Reiko...

3e) Reiko has a nut loose in her skull like Naoko it seems. She claims that she is sexually assaulted by a thirteen year old female adolescent. To that my response is sceptical and raucous laughter best written in capitalised and bold fonts:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

3f) Looks as if Tarou Toru ended with Midori in the end which was an abrupt and inconclusive question, "Where are you?" How on earth does this connect to that scene at the very beginning of the story where the author is on a plane to West Germany? I can answer that inconclusive question though. It feels as if I am no longer on the mortal plane, having been transported to the netherworld filled with
nether regions.


The elephant in the room I feel as I conclude my review of Norwegian Wood is, why is it named thus?

I don't think there were many forests mentioned in the novel, less so Norwegian ones.

I don't recall the story mentioning blocks of wood (which was what the original song meant by wood) in that story though I am convinced most of the cast in that story are blockheads and deserved to be clubbed by blocks of wood.

One may point to the fact that that emotional wreck Naoko is sensitive to that song and thinks suicidal thoughts upon hearing it. Let me reproduce the song for you:

I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me...
She showed me her room, isn't it good, Norwegian wood?

She asked me to stay and she told me to sit anywhere,
So I looked around and I noticed there wasn't a chair.

I sat on a rug, biding my time, drinking her wine
We talked until two and then she said, "It's time for bed"

She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh.
I told her I didn't and crawled off to sleep in the bath

And when I awoke, I was alone, this bird had flown
So I lit a fire, isn't it good, Norwegian wood.

It is painfully obvious that this song is about a one-night stand. The fact that Naoko feels suicidal about it is a very compelling reason why she should remain in that asylum sanatorium!

However, I am of the opinion that wood in the context of this story ought to the sexual innuendo for some part of the male's body. I am not sure about the constitution or the virility of Norwegian males though but I am sure it should be quite impressive given the number of times our dear hero Tarou Toru fooled around, behaving irresponsibly and hedonistically with no thought about the consequences.

Coupled that with the fascination of suicide and I find myself asking this question to the protagonist of this story and all those who engaged in that disgusting act of killing themselves: How can you justify whatever you have done with vague, unclear and poorly communicated thoughts about your feelings? I say it is much honest to admit that you have poor judgement, poor emotional resilience, you are enslaved to your carnal desires and could do with proper help.

My parents who are of your generation never dared to do what these bunch of clowns portrayed in that novel had done and would have despised those who did so. I believe, in a very self-righteous and arrogant fashion, that I, who was born towards the end of the 20th century, never had those 'angsty' and emotionally unsure moments experienced by Tarou Toru.

Oh yes, I should sign off with a moral of the story, shouldn't I:

First hand experience Ma'am? I find men from the Orient very strange too from first hand experience in living in one's body for over two decades.

I thought of getting him to write a love letter with my help, just for laughs.

The word Arc has less than a straightforward definition. One wonders if the above user is geometrical feature, a section of a story depicting certain events or an architectural feature.

Don't say that. We will always welcome you in the Writing Section and the Writer's Lounge. I will post a parody of your entry by the end of the this week right after finishing a book review. (I do apologise for the delay.)

I say this with all seriousness that I liked your entry. It is good to have a bad ending for a change. You can ask Dawn of Dark how I interpreted his story.

Join the dark side, give in to your anger (and frustration) and you will be writing nonsensical monologues in no time at all. This is one very important source of inspiration for me. As for nonsensical dialogue, this is way beyond me. I can't even write ordinary dialogues.

Ah... I have heard of Sudden infant death syndrome.

Always wanted someone to write a nonsensical monologue or a satire in the form of a story. You can try that. Quite confident you will do a better job than me.

That said what illness are both of them suffering from. Doesn't look as if they are murdered.

I suppose that this is the thread in the Writing Section? I am looking forward to it.

The gentleman who told me to post in Incoherent Babbling. Will produce quote if host allows.

Good luck on that. Can't wait to see the final result. I am a fan of your writing.

Not in the Writer's Lounge though. We are in need of company.

Shame. When will you be back?

Made me laugh. What the above user said made me laugh. It is a 2000 word short story that I wonder if anyone would read.

Bump.

I have nearly bumped a car into a traffic light.
I have nearly bumped a bicycle into a traffic light.
Why does manual driving have to so bumpy?

I wonder if the above user agrees with me that the designers either designed too many of those creatures or are simply lazy.

Finally! That Treecko is just what I need to rekindle nostalgic memories of a bygone era where the above user used Treecko profile pictures.

Any chance that the above user has a profile picture with Treeckos wearing swimsuits?