User Posts

Alas! If only she did not look like a tit!

That said, I would like to use your Going For A Record thread to draft an article. I am doing all I can to help you achieve that goal of yours.

There is something wrong with your profile picture, Medzy. The eye looks as if it is wrongly placed.

It is too boring to say the same message twice. Better do it EmiyaKiritsugu style.

[size=28]
There is something wrong with your profile picture, Medzy. The eye looks as if it is wrongly placed. [/h]

There is something wrong with your profile picture, Medzy. The eye looks as if it is wrongly placed.

Are motorcycles easier to handle than cars?

Come to think of it, I agree with Hanasaku. Bicycles are the best! Easy to control and steer, easy to check for traffic, easy to die once you get knocked down.

I never knew that you are into that, Assassin.

Wade and Daniel sprung into action, though it is no longer the shooting and putting down of disfigured anthropoids and mutated equine organisms but rather dealing with ghouls using tact and diplomacy. It was the irony of ironies that Gene, the only ghoul in the team, was not able to help at all even though he would be the most familiar of their ways among the company.

While Wade managed to convince the ghouls not to kill them, the ghouls insisted on bringing them to their base of operations, most likely for questioning. He expected the team to be disarmed, interrogated and then serve as indentured labour for them, a euphemistic way of saying 'serving as slaves'. Perhaps the team should sneak away at the most opportune moment or take the ghouls down. (Never mind that they outnumber them 2 to 1, smooth skins are faster and stronger than ghouls)

That was when Daniel stepped in to curry favour with the ghouls talk about another ghoul acquaintance of his (and Gene's) called Michael Alexander. Gene, being over 2 centuries old had many dealings with man, ghoul and the occasional mutant. Gene knew Alexander of course, having struck deals with him that tended to benefit Gene. Not the best of friends but at least Alexander would not kill him on sight.

Upon hearing Alexander's name, their captors looked a bit taken aback quite alike the reaction when one asks another a question out of the blue like "How is your sex life?" (Gene had none) Gene wagered that they did not know or could not recall where Alexander was.

What can Gene do however? The best course of action for him to stay silent, let the rest of the team deal with their captors and convince them to set them free. So, as Daniel queried the ghouls, he stayed silent with his head wrapped with cloth quite alike a woman in the Middle East or South Asia 2 centuries ago.

Everyone from my parents' generation advocate learning manual. You can operate both types of transmissions. However, the trend it seems at least in my part of the world is that a lot of women are picking up driving in an automatic car. Manual transmission is not so popular.

I will post in the roleplay as Gene soon.

Come to think of it, I will be leaving as well. The world of work beckons. I won't be absent entirely though. Perhaps I will drop by occasionally but penning parodies like what I have been doing most of the past week won't happen.

I suppose it is convenient because you can drive all manners of vehicles, isn't it? Over here most cars are now automatic whilst the heavier vehicles are manually operated. I still have no idea how to move off from a halt without causing the engine to die out. I think they call it 'balancing'.

I am glad you liked it. I am sure you have read the list of how to write like leonard267? It wasn't that difficult to come up with that parody (and the list). I think it is because it is nonsensical and does not require that much effort in ensuring that the plot progresses properly.

For me, fanfiction is for people like me who want to write a story but have no idea how to create characters and plot. So, I borrow existing ideas and see if I can develop my own story. It is the exact same as what I did the past few days, rewriting stories other people have come up with in my own fashion. Not sure if you want a link.

The right word for fanfiction is parody. I prefer to pen those.

ED: I agree with xnine. I treat fanfiction as any other type of story. It must establish character and setting well. I think it is easy to do so because the original material has done that already. Just copy and paste.

Mibuchiha, you have received my link to the copy of Norwegian Wood yes?

It already is in the Cesspit. However, there is always something that I missed out. I have thought of two more and it is in the edited post! Feel free to add on. In fact, you can write an analysis of how I write in you are feeling lazy.

Get leonard267 to write it. He can't speak in modern colloquialisms but 1914 should be manageable.

The past week was spent with this marvellous lass called Amanda who is an acquaintance that I had the fortune to make. I had spent many hours with her well into the night, feasting and going on midnight romps in the wilderness, gun in hand to hunt down some game.

However, after the passing of a few days, our lovely and intimate nights together withered into the drudgery of exchanging telegrams notwithstanding the close distance between our residences. What a bother!

Yoohan, I am working on parodying your entry. Done parodies for 6 entries so far. Xenon can tell you where they are.

The problem is doing it quickly and properly. I am aghast at how I operate a car at a traffic junction. It takes 10 seconds for me to take off!

When we meet someday in time and somewhere in space, IncronotomentalVortex, perhaps you can give me driving lessons.

I agree with Thanielle that you will get better responses if you post this in the proper section, especially if you want people to respond seriously. If you want responses that are not serious and are downright offensive, then this is another story.

Love, Relationships and Romance is the section you are looking for.

That said if you want to pen a story, do come to Writing Section. We don't really care about quality.

6. Parody of AssasinZAssasin's Entry : Very, Very, Very Cold Winter

This would be the third or fourth time I have said this. I enjoyed your entry thoroughly. It is styled like one of my monologues and the tone of the entry is gloomy and glum. The ending may be rushed but I appreciate a bad ending. You do know that I express a little disdain for romance and it appears that your entry is disdainful of that concept as well.

I said that the only problem with your entry is that is not leonard267-ish enough. Indeed, I will attach an addendum at the end of my little parody of your entry on how to write like leonard267. Now, let this self-proclaimed expert show you how it is done:


Whoever was it that presupposes that Christmas or the New Year is that magical season when all of a sudden you find the love of life, everything would be alright, the sun would shine and there would be world peace? Come to think of it, disasters happen at that time of that year when revellers make an utter mess, stampeding happens in overcrowded bars, fires are started due to the fireworks, people die from the sheer cold, people die from the sheer heat down under, tempests, floods and hail plague many countries around the world and the weather is still horrible where leonard267 comes from.

I am a simple man with simple tastes and simple wants. Being a young man of marriageable age, it is alright if there is no world peace, it is alright if the sun doesn't shine, it is even alright if everything is not alright but for the love of God, if I can't find the love of my life, it is not alright. I was told by some section of an online forum that I need to mingle with more people, attend more social gatherings in order to find what would hopefully be my partner till the day that I drop dead. So, I took their advice and went into a club filled with people who are more than eager to get drunk.

However, the drunk people in the bar being drunk, begun stripping my clothes off in some bizarre dance sequence that involves poles and scantily clad women who are very poor candidates for lifelong partners. I extricated myself from the bar with the skin of my teeth only to find myself clad in nothing but my undergarments outdoors at the start of a hypothermia inducing winter season. Dismayed at my failure to lay my hands on a woman, I begun feeling glum, grumpy, frustrated, angry and every other synonym available that describes such unpleasant feelings. With a heavy heart, I begun making my journey back home step by step in that bitter winter cold.

It was then I felt as if I encountered three visitations by the ghouls ghosts of Christmas, except that it was I, not them who did the visiting. Before I go into detail, allow me to say that the appear to be the embodiment of that Christmas / New Year myth where everything is alright, the sun is shining, there is world peace and worst best of all, they have found the love of their lives. Also, might I add, they are not stripped down to their undergarments meaning that they are quite comfortable and meaning that I have to suppress the urge to wallop them. It was rather obvious that these feelings of unhappiness have mutated into a desire for war on Earth and ill will to all mankind.

The first visitation was that of a poor couple. The following was their dialogue:
"Do you remember what happened last Christmas, Wil?"
“Of course, Claire, how could I forget? It’s the same day I picked you up. That day, right when I felt life had no real meaning left…I found you. And you’re the reason I live for now, Claire…”
Putting aside the squeamishness of it all, I did realise that the couple were living on a shoestring. My thoughts turned to whether they were given a fuel allowance to tide the cold of the winter. My thoughts also turned to whether their homes have central heating in the first place. All of these pronouncements of their undying love appear to crumble away if they don't move to warmer climes or get rich enough so that won't die due to winter cold. Do ignore the irony of a man clad in nothing but his underpants wondering if the couple would die of the cold. Also, do ignore the fact that that couple failed to notice a man walking past them nearly naked.


The second visitation was disturbing. What appeared to be a humanoid with feline features on her ears and tail is behaving rather promiscuously. Her partner, a very young boy, on the other hand appeared to be enjoying himself. I swear that the moment I turn my back they will breeding like stray cats which will ultimately be sent to the pound, sterilised and slaughtered. Have the young have no sense of decency, no sense of shame and no sense of common sense?! I thought they are young and have less means of supporting themselves than the paupers I had encountered before. I thought intimacy between loving couples is so sacred that it ought not to be cheapened by gross public displays! I thought that if they were to do it in temperatures lower than the freezing point of ice, their genitals would drop off! I will assume that the very young woman is wearing a costume. Notwithstanding the fact that I dressed in nothing but my boxers,




As if things could not get worse, calling the third visitation disturbing is a gross understatement. I chanced upon a man, seated on bench. On his crotch laid a dog. Seeing the poor in love engenders feelings of jealousy. Seeing the young behaving promiscuously engenders feelings of disgust. Seeing an attempt at bestiality would leave one's mental faculties unable to process those feelings at all. I did the only proper thing which was to lunge at man-dog lovers, with only my boxers on, my male mammary glands bouncing up and down and my pubic hair for all to see. I could have properly manhandled the two creatures for attempting bestiality if I did not black out all of a sudden due to the sheer cold.


It was then I found myself in a space beyond space and a time beyond time. I do not know if I have left the mortal realm. I do know however that I have the means to communicate all of this to anyone who is willing to read through these walls of text. Who says that one can't have a dreadful end to the year?

Yet, more importantly, what is the moral of the story?



Addendum -- How to Write Like Leonard267

1. Be utterly verbose. Use overly long sentences that string together many ideas at once. Never mind that the end product is difficult to read. Eg: However, the drunk people in the bar being drunk, begun stripping my clothes off in some bizarre dance sequence that involves poles and scantily clad women who are very poor candidates for lifelong partners.

2. Contain references that only you can understand. Eg: It was rather obvious that these feelings of unhappiness have mutated into a desire for war on Earth and ill will to all mankind.

3. Repetition. Eg: My thoughts turned to whether they were given a fuel allowance to tide the cold of the winter. My thoughts also turned to whether their homes have central heating in the first place.

4. Colourful and bright fonts. Eg: [color=red]DON'T THINK THAT THE YEAR END FESTIVITIES ARE ALL THAT GOOD.[/color]

5. Random tone shifts that confuse the poor reader. Eg: They were nonetheless happy, even though they risk sending themselves to the gates of Hades by doing it at such an advanced age. Yet, more importantly, I am not happy.

6. Crazed rambling made possible through feelings of anger and frustration that makes one prone to complaining. Eg: PRETTY MUCH WHATEVER I WRITE!

How to Write Like Leonard267 How to Appreciate Leonard267's Writing

1. Be utterly verbose. Use overly long sentences that string together many ideas at once. Never mind that the end product is difficult to read. Eg: However, the drunk people in the bar being drunk, begun stripping my clothes off in some bizarre dance sequence that involves poles and scantily clad women who are very poor candidates for lifelong partners.

2. Lots of explanations and justifications. However, they must not adhere to logic. Eg: Margaret Thatcher and I may not be human... Yet, just as I was entertaining the possibility that I would become a female Prime Minister, get backstabbed... (How does sharing a similarity with a female Prime Minister result in me becoming one?)

3. Contain references that only you can understand. Eg: It was rather obvious that these feelings of unhappiness have mutated into a desire for war on Earth and ill will to all mankind.

4. Referencing obscure references through the use of links. Eg: I was told by some section of an online forum that I need to mingle with more people.

5. Repetition. Eg: My thoughts turned to whether they were given a fuel allowance to tide the cold of the winter. My thoughts also turned to whether their homes have central heating in the first place.

6. Colourful and bright fonts. Eg: DON'T THINK THAT THE YEAR END FESTIVITIES ARE ALL THAT GOOD.

7. Random tone shifts that confuse the poor reader. Eg: They were nonetheless happy, even though they risk sending themselves to the gates of Hades by doing it at such an advanced age. Yet, more importantly, I am not happy.

8. Crazed rambling made possible through feelings of anger and frustration that makes one prone to complaining. Eg: PRETTY MUCH WHATEVER I WRITE!

Xenon, you may (not) find this useful.

How to Write Like Leonard267

1. Be utterly verbose. Use overly long sentences that string together many ideas at once. Never mind that the end product is difficult to read. Eg: However, the drunk people in the bar being drunk, begun stripping my clothes off in some bizarre dance sequence that involves poles and scantily clad women who are very poor candidates for lifelong partners.

2. Lots of explanations and justifications. However, they must not adhere to logic. Eg: Margaret Thatcher and I may not be human... Yet, just as I was entertaining the possibility that I would become a female Prime Minister, get backstabbed... (How does sharing a similarity with a female Prime Minister result in me becoming one?)

3. Contain references that only you can understand. Eg: It was rather obvious that these feelings of unhappiness have mutated into a desire for war on Earth and ill will to all mankind.

4. Referencing obscure references through the use of links. Eg: I was told by some section of an online forum that I need to mingle with more people.

5. Repetition. Eg: My thoughts turned to whether they were given a fuel allowance to tide the cold of the winter. My thoughts also turned to whether their homes have central heating in the first place.

6. Colourful and bright fonts. Eg: DON'T THINK THAT THE YEAR END FESTIVITIES ARE ALL THAT GOOD.

7. Random tone shifts that confuse the poor reader. Eg: They were nonetheless happy, even though they risk sending themselves to the gates of Hades by doing it at such an advanced age. Yet, more importantly, I am not happy.

8. Crazed rambling made possible through feelings of anger and frustration that makes one prone to complaining. Eg: PRETTY MUCH WHATEVER I WRITE!

ED: May add a few more.

Don't worry about a lack of time coming up with an entry. Don't worry about shutting your brain down while writing. This parody is thought up of right on the spot!

6. Parody of AssasinZAssasin's Entry : Very, Very, Very Cold Winter

This would be the third or fourth time I have said this. I enjoyed your entry thoroughly. It is styled like one of my monologues and the tone of the entry is ironic starting off with sappy romance and ending off being gloomy and glum. The ending may be rushed but I appreciate a bad ending. You do know that I express a little disdain for romance and it appears that your entry is disdainful of that concept as well.

I said that the only problem with your entry is that is not leonard267-ish enough. Indeed, I will attach an addendum at the end of my little parody of your entry on how to write like leonard267. Now, let this self-proclaimed expert show you how it is done:



Whoever was it that presupposes that Christmas or the New Year is that magical season when all of a sudden you find the love of life, everything would be alright, the sun would shine and there would be world peace? Come to think of it, disasters happen at that time of that year when revellers make an utter mess, stampeding happens in overcrowded bars, fires are started due to the fireworks, people die from the sheer cold, people die from the sheer heat down under, tempests, floods and hail plague many countries around the world and the weather is still horrible where leonard267 comes from.

I am a simple man with simple tastes and simple wants. Being a young man of marriageable age, it is alright if there is no world peace, it is alright if the sun doesn't shine, it is even alright if everything is not alright but for the love of God, if I can't find the love of my life, it is not alright. I was told by some section of an online forum that I need to mingle with more people, attend more social gatherings in order to find what would hopefully be my partner till the day that I drop dead. So, I took their advice and went into a club filled with people who are more than eager to get drunk.

However, the drunk people in the bar being drunk, begun stripping my clothes off in some bizarre dance sequence that involves poles and scantily clad women who are very poor candidates for lifelong partners. I extricated myself from the bar with the skin of my teeth only to find myself clad in nothing but my undergarments outdoors at the start of a hypothermia inducing winter season. Dismayed at my failure to lay my hands on a woman, I begun feeling glum, grumpy, frustrated, angry and every other synonym available that describes such unpleasant feelings. With a heavy heart, I begun making my journey back home step by step in that bitter winter cold.

It was then I felt as if I encountered three visitations by the ghouls ghosts of Christmas, except that it was I, not them who did the visiting. Before I go into detail, allow me to say that the appear to be the embodiment of that Christmas / New Year myth where everything is alright, the sun is shining, there is world peace and worst best of all, they have found the love of their lives. Also, might I add, they are not stripped down to their undergarments meaning that they are quite comfortable and meaning that I have to suppress the urge to wallop them. It was rather obvious that these feelings of unhappiness have mutated into a desire for war on Earth and ill will to all mankind.

The first visitation was that of a poor couple. The following was their dialogue:
"Do you remember what happened last Christmas, Wil?"
“Of course, Claire, how could I forget? It’s the same day I picked you up. That day, right when I felt life had no real meaning left…I found you. And you’re the reason I live for now, Claire…”
Putting aside the squeamishness of it all, I did realise that the couple were living on a shoestring. My thoughts turned to whether they were given a fuel allowance to tide the cold of the winter. My thoughts also turned to whether their homes have central heating in the first place. All of these pronouncements of their undying love appear to crumble away if they don't move to warmer climes or get rich enough so that won't die due to winter cold. Do ignore the irony of a man clad in nothing but his underpants wondering if the couple would die of the cold. Also, do ignore the fact that that couple failed to notice a man walking past them nearly naked.


The second visitation was disturbing. What appeared to be a humanoid with feline features on her ears and tail is behaving rather promiscuously. Her partner, a very young boy, on the other hand appeared to be enjoying himself. I swear that the moment I turn my back they will breeding like stray cats which will ultimately be sent to the pound, sterilised and slaughtered. Have the young have no sense of decency, no sense of shame and no sense of common sense?! I thought they are young and have less means of supporting themselves than the paupers I had encountered before. I thought intimacy between loving couples is so sacred that it ought not to be cheapened by gross public displays! I thought that if they were to do it in temperatures lower than the freezing point of ice, their genitals would drop off! I will assume that the very young woman is wearing a costume. Notwithstanding the fact that I dressed in nothing but my boxers,




As if things could not get worse, calling the third visitation disturbing is a gross understatement. I chanced upon a man, seated on bench. On his crotch laid a dog. Seeing the poor in love engenders feelings of jealousy. Seeing the young behaving promiscuously engenders feelings of disgust. Seeing an attempt at bestiality would leave one's mental faculties unable to process those feelings at all. I did the only proper thing which was to lunge at man-dog lovers, with only my boxers on, my male mammary glands bouncing up and down and my pubic hair for all to see. I could have properly manhandled the two creatures for attempting bestiality if I did not black out all of a sudden due to the sheer cold.


It was then I found myself in a space beyond space and a time beyond time. I do not know if I have left the mortal realm. I do know however that I have the means to communicate all of this to anyone who is willing to read through these walls of text. Who says that one can't have a dreadful end to the year?

Yet, more importantly, what is the moral of the story?



Addendum -- How to Write Like Leonard267