The Jesus Posts

Yeah, but it took him 3 days.

So long as I am here, there will be many more comments that leave you confused, disturbed, and/or feeling as if you need to take a long shower.

I don't really give a shit. If the government searches my computer, they'll realize the same exact thing as everyone else... I'm crazy. I've never attempted to hide it or anything. I'm the type of crazy person that people realize, after a short time, that if you leave me alone, no one is gonna get hurt. In fact, if left to my own devices, I'm more likely to entertain people than cause any problems.

Damn, when I first saw "Penis Cake" I thought Rukia nee-chan was back.

I don't know where these came from...

This man plays with lions too... :?

Most lightsaber fights are too flashy, no pun intended.

What would you expect? Of course, she can't really compare to the Beauty Queen from Kurohime:

Before I abduct the asshole, that's right like an alien, I'd have to put together some kind of torture device. Something along the lines of a wooden chair suspended from the ceiling with a dildo fashioned to the seat. After I get him on that, drop the chair. Its not gonna be like he can get out, he's got a dildo up his ass. When it hits the ground, aside from the injuries caused from being strapped to a wooden chair as it hits the ground from a 15ft. drop, the dildo is gonna cause some major internal damage.

Although, that isn't nearly enough. I guess before the chair drop, I could do a lot of funny things. There are so many different, and interesting, ways to torture a person that sometimes you get an urge to try them. One thing I've wanted to try, although as a man I would feel bad doing no matter how much I hated someone, is this interrogation method used by the Chinese during WWII or by the Vietcong. They would insert a small glass rod into a prisoner's dick which hurt enough. Then, if the person still didn't want to talk, they would smash it with a hammer. It hurts just thinking about it, but it would still be funny.

We don't use rep ladders, they're too dangerous. Sometimes people will be climbing up real fast, then out of no where 10+ rungs will just snap below them and they'll fall. Sometimes the velocity of the fall combined with them getting their legs caught causes serious injuries. Some people will get snagged and cut up on jagged pieces of rep on their way down. It's not that bad sometimes, but other times it's not a pretty sight.

Well its a long story. After a while, the memberlist just took a turn for the worst. It wouldn't show up for work for days at a time. We'd find it strung out in cheap hotel rooms with dead hookers and half eaten babies. It was wasted all the time, we finally had to send it away to a "special place" after we found a tapestry in a dark room in the back of its apartment that was crudely fashioned out of half-dead, mangled human and animal bodies strung together and smeared with feces. It was a horrific sight.

Mike Mozart scares the hell out of my dog.

I don't see any problem with it. More lulz for the rest of us.

I thought this one was worth an lol or two.

I don't know, but you're not the only one.

Sometimes the truth is crude.

This is why parents need to be on their guard around their kids.

I fucking hate all that electronic dance bullshit.