A question for the virgin boys...

^this.


Not a virgin any longer, but for what it's worth:

-------- I was a virgin when I got together with my current girlfriend, who at the time was already much more experienced than I was.

-------- I always found it extremely exciting, and frankly flattering that she took the active role.

-------- And lastly it was always fun! Because, due to her experience, she knew some of the basic truths of sensuality (there not being one size that fits all, individuality being key, yadda dadda) that make it enjoyable. And enabled her to show me the way around my own body.

lol you think he'll run off?
leaving her naked there?well thats some wimpy guy...

^yes^

Who says she's naked when seducing him? Or that he's running off? I'm saying more like he'd be turned off by the matter. Is it likely? Maybe not, but I know a few guys that wouldn't like a women hitting on them too hard. It all depends. That's all I'm saying.

Too aggressive makes girl look slutty...some maybe think that she's only teasing or just like to fuck with virgin...I wouldn't like that....

Well, I would say don't get too attached to him, because more than likely he doesnt really know what he likes because he is a virgin, and not just in the physical sense. My first relationship didn't last very long, and I think thats the same for most people.

I would say take things slow though, flirt like you would with any other guy. You may have to initiate some of the more physical stuff though, although, if you guys make out a couple times I'm sure he'll figure out the rest (meaning you probably wont need to initiate sex, unless hes just a very shy personality in general).

A thing about guys in general that is especially true if they don't have much experience in bed, is we're always a bit self conscious about if we're doing things right, and if you are enjoying it. Girls tend to be pretty dramatically different, and he will probably be feeling alot of pressure if you guys do have sex because he has no experience, and you do. So he's going to be worrying about how he measures up to all those other guys and if hes doing a good job (if he cares about you anyway). At some point it becomes less of a fun experience and more of a "don't fuck this up" kinda deal for the guy. Of course guys will have alot of pride generally and won't talk about that, but subtle reassurance might help him out a bit ;-).

Tell him the magic words...Let's learn about it together or Let's take it slowly....^_^

lol they arent different from any normal guys,probably you are just over-thinking it.
Just do what comes naturally and such.

lolwut. My first relationship (this one) has been going for six years now and I haven't gotten tired of it a single day, ever. I knew very damn well what I wanted before I got into it, and I don't quite agree that "knowing what you want" has anything to do whether you're a virgin or not.
There's tons of people who have been married for X times consecutively and STILL don't know what they want...

I didn't mean that it doesn't happen, only that the vast majority of peoples first relationships probably last less than four months. This is probably in part because most people have their first relationship in highschool, so I suppose it might be different if you started later.

I'm gonna go ahead and call your bluff though. Even if you think you knew what you wanted before you got into your current relationship, seeing as how it was your first one you really can't have known what it would be like. We all have expectations, even on things that we have never done, but those of us who have done them will have more realistic and accurate expectations. Thats just life.


I'm happy that your first relationship has been so good to you though ;-).

Ah, I didn't say I'd know what it'd be like. I said I knew what I wanted. How accurate those expectations were is a different matter altogether. Some were. Some weren't. Thank goodness for that.
You asserted that people don't know what they want before they get into their first relationship, and that is a point I absolutely contest. Knowing what you want, and what you make of it, are matters of personality, not necessarily experience. If fickleness was merely a matter of verdancy, there wouldn't be any fickle old people. How many fickle old people are out there again? Uh.....


I'unno. I think it boils down to personality more than simply experience, although that is one of several contributing factors, depending on the individual case at hand.
There's enough people who throw themselves head-first into one relationship after the other, because for all their experience, their expectations stink to high heaven. I don't give much credit to people learning a lesson from life.


sheer luck!


That I blithely agree with. But, that fact owes more to highschool relationships taking place during puberty, and to all the emotional and hormonal quagmire associated with that particular age.

The most honest advice at this point would be to pay attention to the guy, so to speak. It all depends on the people involved, always.
Looking back, I've long come to realize that I put my girl through a lot of work. It took quite a while of mutual flirting and day-long running of the mouth until I rewarded her with any amount of trust worth mentioning: I wasn't shy, but I was very, very distrustful.
Once I trusted her though, I didn't have many reservations as to her taking the lead, ever. That's just my angle on it though, YMMV.
Perhaps your guy just wants to be swept off his feet from the first moment on. Perhaps he's not comfortable with the idea at all. Your turn to find out!


Pro tip: don't smoke, don't use breath mints.
Got my first kiss from a girl (that I didn't love, but had a very "serious" teenage crush on) as a teenager, who was a smoker and camouflaged that with breath mint. It was like sucking on a cold, minty corpse with a lovely after-taste of tar. Not very titillating.

PS: The first kiss I shared with my current partner wasn't a very meticulously planned event, more of a heat-of-the-moment thing (at work no less D: ), and that's probably the best way to go with it if you ask me. Don't worry your head off, just go with the flow.

Aggressive? Where were these women at when I was going to college?

I suppose I should clarify. People almost always know what they want at any given moment, but sometimes what they want changes. In our context, it is reasonable to expect that someone will want different things before, during, and after their first relationship.

I am certain that there are things about your significant other that you did not initially appreciate or even think about that you now find attractive. You act as though your personality never changes, in reality it changes constantly, only less so as you age. I'm not really sure where you got the idea that old people are fickle, because they aren't either. Old people are notoriously well set in their beliefs, and if anyone knows what they want, it would be old people. They almost always have one view point on everything and are the definition of inflexibility. See voting statistics for proof.

You said yourself that the success of your first/current relationship was sheer luck. If you knew exactly what you wanted, shouldn't you accredit its success more to your own determination?

But none of this was really the point of my original post, which was to provide advice to ayanami. Tying back into that point, I think it is reasonable to suggest that she not overwhelm him with commitment. Just take it easy, try not to form too many expectations, and see where things go =).

In any case, I think maybe we are debating now for the sake of debate, which is something that is perhaps better left to the serious discussion forum. I'm not sure that we really disagree on the specifics, more or less we are just arguing technicalities. So, on that note, I'ma let ayanami have her thread back =P.

Aside from what gibbous(ECO) said, I have only one piece of advice. When you do confess/kiss/whattever to him, don't say anything stupid.

My last relationship began because I confessed to the girl, and she gave me a sort of joke-answer back. I told her I liked her and was replied with "uhh... unfortunately..... that won't be a problem, because I do too". Now, it may not seem like the first part mattered much, but the moment she said 'unfortunately' really brought me a cold sweat. And even though it lasted almost 2 years of a relationship, that first moment marked me quite a bit (in the bad way).

Good luck with your guy. I'd like to hear how it turns out.