ASK A GIRL

Dude, I totally understand where you're coming from. The thing is, I've never really pursued an active relationship... so my experience at dating is severely limited. Maybe I'm too nice to go beyond friends? Dunno. I still hold out that the nice guys wins belief. If that wasn't so, I'd give up on humanity a long time ago.

there's two different areas you can draw the line:

1. You're friendly and outgoing as possible but when she comes to you to complain (it's how advice/cry on shoulder guy starts) you simply tell her you don't want to hear about her boy problems... She may get a bit of the picture from that which is kinda what we want(right?), if she enquirers why you tell her it's because you've been crushed by the friends zone far too often. It might end the relationship(before it starts) but if that's all it took to crush the relationship then it never really was that good a relationship to begin with.

2. You simply never let her get to that point, simply dont give her advice or a shoulder at all, it may seem callous but the last thing we want is to be seen as a friend in any way(right?). If you can't win her over without converting it into a friendship then you either don't have the necessary skill or your personalities (interests...) don't match up well enough.

The last a most important piece of advice I can offer is that after you've made any type of attempt and are denied, walk away... There is nothing you can/will ever be able to do about it, you will always remain in the friends zone and no matter how long you stay by her side you're only fooling yourself.

it's funny, my advice is perfect... i'm rarely wrong about these things... and yet I can't seem to be able to follow my own advice, kinda pathetic aren't I?

oh and my thread subject will be (if i decide to write it) fakku women and how they differ from the average woman.

Humans are the biggest hypocrites out there. Always easy to talk the talk, but it's harder to walk the walk.

I'm curious to see how this thread of yours plays out, though I feel that there might be some bashing involved. (considering some past history) I'd tread carefully there, Waar.

if people can't read my threads without being insulted they should close their eyes for the rest of their lives, i'm only as harsh as the real world allows me to be.

I agreee with Waar.

Lots of guys make the mistake of acting like a boyfriend when you're just friends with the girl. This makes it easier for girls to manipulate you and basically get anything they want from you [size=10][When they need emotional support, Someone to compliment them, etc][/h]. In the end, you get nothing but the "you're just a friend" speech.

I'm not saying to be a complete jerk to her, but ease up on the boyfriend type treatment. Basically just treat her just like the girl-friends who you have no romantic interest in.

There's no reason to put her on a high pedestal and make her seem like she's the one important girl in your life, when she just sees you as one of her plenty friends.

Make her feel special, when you feel special.

Treating her like a princess will probably just make her spoiled and she won't think twice about making you her boyfriend because she already has what she wants from you without the title behind it. So she can get the whole emotional-boyfriend treatment from you while still being able to go after other guys.

Sorry if I repeated myself, I'm tired.

I'm not saying you shouldn't do it, Waar, but taking caution to those who might read it would be much more prudent.

@Rayne: if what you're saying is true, then I guess it's a fault on both guys and girls sides, but I'm seeing more fault on the girl's side because the guy doesn't have any ill-intentions.

Lol. I'm not saying ALL girls have ill-intentions. Just after a while, (she may notice it or not) she'll start to use the guy for an emotional relationship, but instead of it being it a relationship she'll just tag it as "We're really good friends".

[size=10]
Again: I'm not saying all girls would manipulate the guys and use them. Some don't seem to notice what they're doing, some do.[/h]


I do believe both are at fault though.
You can't blame the whole thing on the girl or boy.

Aw fuck. Now that got me thinking about my game plan. Although the advice given reminds me of shit I've already experienced, It's not like all girls are alike. I don't mind if it takes time for me to get a girlfriend. It's not like I'm in a rush to get married, since it's not really that important to begin with.

The best way to get a girlfriend is not to look for one.

To me, friendships are for the pursuit of common interests, period. If someone wants to unload his/her emotional ballast ("needs someone to listen"), I refer them to the yellow-pages, page "P", section "Psychologists".
As waar said, if they can't take that hint, they were probably not looking for a friend to begin with, but for an emotional landfill, and thus the relationship wouldn't be worth much in the first place.

@Rayne: that sounds so contradictory, yet at the same time it sounds true. I guess I can't pin more fault on girls since they do it subconciously, but still, I wonder if that can be excused/reasoned with.

i'm sorry but ur question somehow make me laugh SOO HARD!!! altou i'm also interest into finding out the answer but when i read it (first time) i LMAO but once i read it agean the magic all gone oh well but really thou anyone can answer these question?
try not to get me wrong i have nothing agaist wut u ask

fix: found out the answer

i was want to ask this girl out and i been knowing her over 2 years i just afraid of rejection any tip of advice?

Every thread in this forum.

If you really like her, then you should ask regardless of how you'll feel upon rejection.

Indeed. Go for it. :)

where are all the girls to this 'ask a girl' thread? unless im having a case of mistaken identity.

you put it into terms that make more sense to me rayne, i think i somewhat get it now. you all spoke your mind and gave me some good points, thanks alot for the support. if anyone who hasnt spoken their piece wants to say a word please feel free, you never know what another perspective might have on the conversation.

i think im gonna have to change my m.o from now on. what i dont like about this whole scenario is for the most part we all share the same opinion on the subject... but then doesnt this contradict a lot of the foundations of forming a relationship? being yourself, letting them get to know the real you... it all seems like im going against these words of wisdom to get even the smallest of recognition.

im sorry if i sound like a lost cause or if im whining, i really dont intend to. i just wanna have a general consensus before i try and manipulate my personality in the slightest for a silly cause. seems like it aint worth it if you ask me :s lol

you dont have to change who you are bro... you only need slight alterations, I'm sure you're a good person at heart so when someone comes to you with a problem (ex: boyfriend trouble) you feel compelled to help them out... I'm the same way, but that always leads to the friends zone. It's just that some of your actions are the direct cause for your lack of ability/opportunity. I'm not telling you to ignore/be a dick to your chick friends and they will suddenly fall madly in love with you; it's far too late with anyone you've been friends with for a while now; but in the future, if you want to avoid the bench you need to play it differently.

I'm going to be straight with you, who you really are is not important during first impressions; you have to get your foot in the door before you can show her the real you; it's a sad truth.

I have more to say about this but I need some time to formulate some of my thoughts, and I'm about to go to my friends birthday party (where i will probably meet a bunch of girls... who all want to be best of friends with me).


oh and to that guy who's been waiting for 2 years for his girl: you are most likely waaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy too late for it bro, but you should def. say something, otherwise you'll regret it in the future because missed opportunities lead to nothing but heartache. As Oscar Wilde once said: “There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”

thx i'll try my best if she reject oh well there will be someone someday....