ASK A GIRL

I think it says something interesting about the people on the site that every time a thread like this pops up it isn't 200 pages long by the time I see it. Either a lot more guys here than one would think just don't feel they need the advice or not many pay attention to this section. Ether way, interesting to think about. Anyway Zo I think it's good of you to join in on this so people don't only get one point of view and take it as the divine truth of girls just because the words came out of the lips (fingers?) of one. Then again everyone should be warned that people are incredibly diverse and not all of either of their advice will work all the time. (actually I'd be amazed if even put together their advice works 50% of the time. Stupid girls, being all complicated. Soooooo unlike us guys....right...)

Edit: Firebomber you may want to see a therapist. Problems like those are pretty much why they have jobs.

ok heres a question:

I fell in love with this girl i've know for years and i pretty much know her background and what happened to her life knowing this i found out that she has a fear of Men though she trust me(since i act all gayish so she doesnt mind me being a guy) but ive been meaning to tell her how i feel but cant say it since our friendship might get broken wonder what should i do.

I'm sure one of the girls will give you a feminine perspective, but I would say you should try to ease into it. Try making eye contact more often, but don't stare at her. Just catch her eye every once in a while. Try to be more flirty as well - although maybe you already do this. Just step things up a little bit. Maybe ask her to goto the movies with you, just the two of you. Of course you will know better than me what is normal for your current relationship with her, if you already hang out with her a lot as just the two of you and you both tend to tease/flirt a lot then perhaps you are already ready to ask her.

The ideal time to ask someone out (in my opinion) is when you feel like you already know what they will say. The other advantage of this approach is that if you don't feel like she is interested after all you can always back off and maintain the friendship.

That could end up being complicated. So I would suggest being as simple as possible about it. Being a friend to someone you have feelings for is always difficult, for many reasons, but not the least of them is that it's hard to feel out that area between friendship and relationship, and find out exactly were you are in there. If a guy is genuinely close to a girl, than he probably isn't clearly in the area of friend or clearly in the area of boyfriend, but somewhere in between. Basically, there wont be the physical relationship you would have as her boyfriend, but she will talk to you more openly than she likely would her boyfriend. And I've never seen a situation work out were one could have their cake and eat it to, so to speak. I would say that she mostly sees you as asexual, and trustworthy because you don't represent the same threat that a man does. But a girl doesn't want to be with an asexual entity, so you have to move into the realm of masculinity, but you would then lose at least a little bit of the trust she has in the you that you are right now. Your only reasonable chance, seems to me, is to gradually move into a more masculine light in her eyes, while still being however you are around her now, before you actually try to tell her how you feel. Slowly increase your physical contact with her; not in a creepy way, like feeling her up, just nice and subtle gestures, a hand on her shoulder when you talk to her if you are standing next to her, or sitting closer to her on a bench or couch, small things like that. It's not so much about the contact itself as what it represents to her subconscious, that being the reassurance of emotional presence along with physical. Just...don't go to an extreme with that and hover around her like a stalker. You want her to know you are there and supportive, but not to start thinking that you are needy or clingy. Also spend time alone with her if you currently hang out a lot in groups. It would be best if you could get to a place with her were you could tell her how you feel, and it would be like she already knew. In an ideal world, that is. There is a chance you will be rejected, and absolutely no sure way of knowing what she feels, or of not risking your friendship. You need to determine if the risk of losing that friendship is worth the possibility of a relationship with her. And just hope she likes you as well.

Or just skip all the shit and tell her how you feel and hope for the best.
Or fuck her.

Anyway, sorry for going on about that, I know this is an ask a GIRL thread, I've just seen this situation before is all...

Thanks for the advice
so i need to stop acting like a Homo and start to show my masculinity.

well my only betting card is that she gets over her fear after i confess or else its one friendship to the awkward cementery.

anyway thanks again for the advice.

specially yours dante though the Fuck part i can go without

Well, not really a place that I should pop up. Just want to ask, how can u attract a girl if you yourself has no interest on relationship (not because a gay but more like a mental scar). I realized after living 20 years that I never even make an effort to make myself cool. Well, I live in my own world anyway. Well I can be called an otaku but of course like sport, currently practicing kendo. I like black colored clothes and do not have any interest in music. So for my mission to get a girl to produce my next generation of my clan, I have to make effort now, although I haven`t found a girl that I have targeted. Can u give me advice how to dress and be cool to girls. Cause eventhough I have many friends girl and guy alike, I`m know cold to girls. So what effort I can do without destroying my personality. Well I know it is hopeless anyway cause there is no way some girl would just love me and then let me play game all day without even caring about her. Hahahahaa. Well at least I ask.
edit: to add the matter worse I`m an atheis and I`m living in a religious city. I`m a native but I just can`t bring myself to other faith although I feint my own religion. So u know eventhough the girl accept me the family wouldn`t. Should I target Japanese girl cause it seems they are lenient to religion. In my country it seems there are alot of japanese cause the fact my country has a low living cost.

Well, I like to provide options.
Although, fucking is presumably somewhere down the line if you like this girl. If it's not, then there is really no need to be in a relationship with her, is there? if you aren't fucking, it's just like being friends anyway, only when you are just friends you aren't supposed to get jealous or angry when she fucks someone else.

but wont that make it worst i mean she has a fear of men and raping her wont get me anywhere, id take it slow so she wont get too much shock when that time ever happens. and i ideally wanted to have sex with her when im able to support her financially(yeah you can laugh now).

ok. here's my question. dont really care who answers this, as long as i can get some good advice.

there's a girl i know. she was my classmate few years ago. back then i liked her. so much that if memory serves me right, i literally was stalking her, for about 2 years. that was done just because i lacked the courage to confess, but had nowhere that i could let my feelings out. after that 2 years period, i had enough of being a stalker and just went to her and i told her my feelings, knowing what kind of answer i would get. it turned out that i got must harsher answer than i expected. but i expected to be rejected anyways, so who cares.....

i got over the shock, and i moved on...and i finally got a girlfriend. everything went great, but due to unseen circumstances, our relationship was put to an end. then after a few months my relationship ended, i discovered that the very same girl who slapped me in the face and rejected me like crazy had somehow come to like me. she's all over me now that when i look at her, i remember my past self. i'm being stalked, just like how i used to stalk. now i kinda understand how must she felt back then but more importantly, what should i do!?

I didn't mean rape her, dude.
I just meant that a sexual relationship should be included in there somewhere. No need to rush if you are that type of guy.



Talk to her; if you still like her, then you can tell her that, and maybe see if it works out, I guess. If you don't like her, you can tell her to pike off.

ugh. i did try to talk to her, but she was too embarrassed just having me close to her, so she ran away. getting her to sit down quietly is hard enough, and i've no idea what she'll do if i tell her to stop this shit....

but yeah, maybe i just need to face it anyway. i've got no feelings for her, but it's not like i hate her. she's very cute and if she doesn't have this lil' yandere tendencies, i guess she makes a very good partner. so....how should i settle this? just kick her away or get a new gf?

I thought u are talking about Toradora cause it has some similiarity. Is it true she is a yandere not tsundere??? Well, I don`t have any relationship knowledge and experience nor intent to have one but like I always said just do as your hearts want so there will be no regret later. Just hope what u mean yandere tedency is only a minor possesive personality.... Nah in reality there is no way such thing happen. Good Luck

wheres the thread creator? tsuni? her last post here on this topic was march 17,

It seems she has gone for a while. Cause she didn`t answered my question for about 2 days.

you think she'l still be active?

Sorry, I don`t know about that.

i'd say a lil' yandere because she goes to great length just to...ugh, you know what. and it's because she's somewhat possessive too (from what her friends have complained to me). yeah, she's certainly not the ideal type of yandere (as we know the term) but she has some of the traits.

and similarities with toradora? dunno, i've yet to watch it...but anyway, i'm asking about the right step to take because i dunno what to do. i don't have any feelings for her or anyone right now, and i don't hate her anyway. it's just that i somehow pity her, cuz what she's doing right now is just like how i used to be, and i understand the pain of unrequited love. so...i'm in a dilemma right now...i dunno, maybe i can learn to like her if i accepted her, or maybe it won't work after all...or maybe if i reject her like she used to be, she'll break down, or like a cycle, i'll like her again after i rejected her, then i got rejected, then again and again.....

ok, i know the last scenario is impossible but, now that i've mentioned my worries, what is the right step to take? i just know there might be regrets in all available paths, so...which one?

If u are so sure u don`t have any feeling just dump her completely so she won`t come to you again. If u have any feeling accept her, but beware of those with possesive personality, cause u`r life will be limited. U will know when u feel it. I don`t want to be irresponsible by telling u to just go out with her if it is true if she is possesive and u don`t have that kind of thought. But experience tells me that people isn`t always what we think they are. If u can, just ask her hobbies and get to knows her better. If her possesiveness is only for a little degree and u like her. Just go for it. The reason why I`m concerned about the possesive personality is because if u go out with her and find one that u trully love. There will be chance that u will be terrorized or is it just my own worry. Try watching Toradora, cause it maybe not trully similiar but actually nearly the same. Where after she refuse that man`s confession, she loves him. Funny

Sorry, guys, I've been swamped with work for the past couple days, and have only recently found some time to myself. I'll get to your questions ASAP.