Most Useless Superpowers?

Emo teen gang-an small gang of depressed and suicidal teenagers that will whine or bore you to death with their irritating poetry and self inflicted scars.

blood cry man-has the ability to shoot spurts of blood out of his eyes, but doing so stings like hell and causes him to go blind for two hours.

Being able to make it rain but at the expense of your own bodily fluids which is still only 70%.

The power to hear far away, seriously that was in one of the X-Men movies and I was all "WTF that's so stupid".