Why would a girl stay with an abusive guy?
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Try everything you can to reassure her to leave this Fag.
Get a bunch of your friends and beat the brains of this kid, that way he wont bother the girl.
Get a bunch of your friends and beat the brains of this kid, that way he wont bother the girl.
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The girl may have her own reason why she doesn't want to leave that guy.
50% of that reason was she's afraid to leave that guy. Like gugu said.
Other reason maybe she's happy with that guy even though the guys beats her up.
Love is blind folks.
50% of that reason was she's afraid to leave that guy. Like gugu said.
Other reason maybe she's happy with that guy even though the guys beats her up.
Love is blind folks.
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Would beating him really help? Wouldn't he just move on to the next girl and abuse her, too? I'm not seeing where this is supposed to teach him a lifelong lesson. Sure, he might hold back for a few weeks, but he'll revert to his old habits.
The guy needs psychological help, but unfortunately that's a lot harder to give him than a beating. :\
The guy needs psychological help, but unfortunately that's a lot harder to give him than a beating. :\
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Some girls seriously prefer abusive men. Sad as it is, this one chick I dated told me I wasn't abusive enough and that's part of why she broke up with me. Sometimes it really is better to be the abusive type, over the nice type. Girls want someone who is more likely to dominate them than submit to their will or treat them equally. Still, what type of shit is that? "Not abusive enough".
But eh, whatever. Just sayin'
But eh, whatever. Just sayin'
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Ive actually have alot of experience with these kind of women (Mom, freind, my exgirlfreind, ect.)
Most of the time (expecially in young teens) the reason they stay with a abusive boyfriend is simply cause they say that they "love them"
most of the time they need to feal that they are loved and are afraid that if they leave that person they wont find someone else that will be willing to "love them" of at least say that they do.
My ex. used to tell me that if I ever leave her should go back to her abousive boyfreind.
these are typically the kind of people who dont love people, the love love.
(now im not saying this could be the reason behind your friend, she could be like my mother who honostly beleave that she can "change" that asshole)
easiest solution would be to kill him and ditch the body and murder weapon
Most of the time (expecially in young teens) the reason they stay with a abusive boyfriend is simply cause they say that they "love them"
most of the time they need to feal that they are loved and are afraid that if they leave that person they wont find someone else that will be willing to "love them" of at least say that they do.
My ex. used to tell me that if I ever leave her should go back to her abousive boyfreind.
these are typically the kind of people who dont love people, the love love.
(now im not saying this could be the reason behind your friend, she could be like my mother who honostly beleave that she can "change" that asshole)
easiest solution would be to kill him and ditch the body and murder weapon
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Hmm..either she's really in love with him, she's a masochist, or she has some problem psychologically.
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Ever hear of "warped reality"? Not the stuff in science fiction; this is a psychological thing.
Allow me to give an example. Say you buy a car. It costs you several thousand dollars (or whatever currency you use in your locale, just to keep the hypothetical accessible). It runs fine for about a year, but then it starts to develop problems. You find out that the radiator hose is decayed, and the radiator itself isn't doing too well. The oil system isn't very good, so the engine doesn't run smoothly. The gas tank has a slow leak in it. These, and other factors, make it so that the car can only go about twelve city blocks before overheating, requiring you to pull over and let the car cool. Furthermore, the fuel efficiency is absolute crap.
"But," you tell yourself, "it's my property, and it gets me from point A to point B, so it's fine. It was worth the money."
You tell yourself this, even though you could have gotten a better car for the same price if you hadn't let yourself got taken in by a swindling used car salesman. You tell yourself this, even though its horrible fuel efficiency and constant breakdowns are hemorrhaging your money. You tell yourself it's "worth it" because you've spent so much time and money on it already that you don't want to believe you could possibly have wasted it all.
That's warping reality.
This persists right up until you hit rock bottom. You're on a stretch of road miles away from any fueling station, your cell phone's battery is dead, and your car has shat its transmission all over the road behind you. You stand there behind your busted car, sun beating down on your face, you know that you've got no recourse but to trek all that distance to a fueling station and hopefully call a tow truck (which you can't really afford right now)... and it finally, really hits you that you bought a freaking lemon.
Or, maybe you aren't an idiot, and you sell the thing for parts and scrap early, once you realize the junker isn't going to go the distance.
I see this all the time in people who are involved in cults, or are "stuck" in bad relationships, or (etc.) They've been in their relationship for some time, and they've invested a lot in it, emotionally, financially, and so on, so part of them doesn't want to let go of all they've been through. They, at least partially, don't want to admit that they've been stupid.
I have pity and patience, but after a certain point, I just want to put them in a chair, smack them once upside the head, and tell them that they need to either get out of their trouble situation, or else stop complaining. When it becomes a persistent pattern, they've really got nobody to blame for themselves.
Allow me to give an example. Say you buy a car. It costs you several thousand dollars (or whatever currency you use in your locale, just to keep the hypothetical accessible). It runs fine for about a year, but then it starts to develop problems. You find out that the radiator hose is decayed, and the radiator itself isn't doing too well. The oil system isn't very good, so the engine doesn't run smoothly. The gas tank has a slow leak in it. These, and other factors, make it so that the car can only go about twelve city blocks before overheating, requiring you to pull over and let the car cool. Furthermore, the fuel efficiency is absolute crap.
"But," you tell yourself, "it's my property, and it gets me from point A to point B, so it's fine. It was worth the money."
You tell yourself this, even though you could have gotten a better car for the same price if you hadn't let yourself got taken in by a swindling used car salesman. You tell yourself this, even though its horrible fuel efficiency and constant breakdowns are hemorrhaging your money. You tell yourself it's "worth it" because you've spent so much time and money on it already that you don't want to believe you could possibly have wasted it all.
That's warping reality.
This persists right up until you hit rock bottom. You're on a stretch of road miles away from any fueling station, your cell phone's battery is dead, and your car has shat its transmission all over the road behind you. You stand there behind your busted car, sun beating down on your face, you know that you've got no recourse but to trek all that distance to a fueling station and hopefully call a tow truck (which you can't really afford right now)... and it finally, really hits you that you bought a freaking lemon.
Or, maybe you aren't an idiot, and you sell the thing for parts and scrap early, once you realize the junker isn't going to go the distance.
I see this all the time in people who are involved in cults, or are "stuck" in bad relationships, or (etc.) They've been in their relationship for some time, and they've invested a lot in it, emotionally, financially, and so on, so part of them doesn't want to let go of all they've been through. They, at least partially, don't want to admit that they've been stupid.
I have pity and patience, but after a certain point, I just want to put them in a chair, smack them once upside the head, and tell them that they need to either get out of their trouble situation, or else stop complaining. When it becomes a persistent pattern, they've really got nobody to blame for themselves.
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A guy who hits any girl deserves to be hang or stone to death. No sane Guy would ever do that, Battered/ abusive relationship is a cycle, the abusive partner loves you, then hits you then say sorry then the other partner forgives then it repeats again its a never ending cycle. I suggest that you talk your friend out of that relationship put some sense into her mind that No guy who claims himself that he loves his girlfriend the hit her when nobody is around. help your friend before its too late that she can't get out of the relationship coz of some other factors like if ever she gets pregnant and have a child w/ that fucker. tsk..
Guys Do Not Ever hit Your Girls.
Guys Do Not Ever hit Your Girls.
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trainheartnet14 wrote...
A guy who hits any girl deserves to be hang or stone to death.(..)
Guys Do Not Ever hit Your Girls.
The stuff I snipped, I can sympathize.
But this? This is foolishness. There are many, many girls and women out there who have caught on to the fact that it's a societal taboo to commit physical violence against women, and take advantage of this fact to abuse men in any way they can.
Consider that, under this same society, a man who gets bossed and slapped around by his girlfriend/wife is considered a very inferior male. A young boy who is regularly abused by his older sister is a "pussy who doesn't have the balls to step up and defend himself". They become hated merely for enduring the abuse.
At the same time, a man who hits a woman - and whether or not it is done in self-defense will be downplayed heavily - is an "abuser," "scum," "woman-hater," and such. And they become hated anyway.
To hell with that. If someone commits violence against you, they don't deserve preferential treatment for their gender - they deserve to lose a few teeth!
If you're going to end up with people thinking badly of you anyway, you may as well seek some satisfaction.
Being passive only encourages bullies. Fighting back works, and violence is by and large the most efficient method of getting your message across to them.
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strangegreycat wrote...
trainheartnet14 wrote...
A guy who hits any girl deserves to be hang or stone to death.(..)
Guys Do Not Ever hit Your Girls.
The stuff I snipped, I can sympathize.
But this? This is foolishness. There are many, many girls and women out there who have caught on to the fact that it's a societal taboo to commit physical violence against women, and take advantage of this fact to abuse men in any way they can.
Consider that, under this same society, a man who gets bossed and slapped around by his girlfriend/wife is considered a very inferior male. A young boy who is regularly abused by his older sister is a "pussy who doesn't have the balls to step up and defend himself". They become hated merely for enduring the abuse.
At the same time, a man who hits a woman - and whether or not it is done in self-defense will be downplayed heavily - is an "abuser," "scum," "woman-hater," and such. And they become hated anyway.
To hell with that. If someone commits violence against you, they don't deserve preferential treatment for their gender - they deserve to lose a few teeth!
If you're going to end up with people thinking badly of you anyway, you may as well seek some satisfaction.
Being passive only encourages bullies. Fighting back works, and violence is by and large the most efficient method of getting your message across to them.
Agreed, I used to believe in the never hit a girl period policy but under certain circumstances you have to defend yourself regardless of what gender the attacker is. I will say that if your dealing with your lover or a family member you should restrain yourself whenever possible.
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Well, of course. I don't mean to say "go about slappin' hoes" or anything like. Guys like that get arrested (or at least should).
Just, don't buy into the idea that women are something you're not allowed to strike even in self-defense; you'll be the abused one then.
And I'll be the first to admit that I extend friends and family a bit more leeway with how much crap I'm willing to take from them.
Just, don't buy into the idea that women are something you're not allowed to strike even in self-defense; you'll be the abused one then.
And I'll be the first to admit that I extend friends and family a bit more leeway with how much crap I'm willing to take from them.
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strangegreycat wrote...
trainheartnet14 wrote...
A guy who hits any girl deserves to be hang or stone to death.(..)
Guys Do Not Ever hit Your Girls.
The stuff I snipped, I can sympathize.
But this? This is foolishness. There are many, many girls and women out there who have caught on to the fact that it's a societal taboo to commit physical violence against women, and take advantage of this fact to abuse men in any way they can.
Consider that, under this same society, a man who gets bossed and slapped around by his girlfriend/wife is considered a very inferior male. A young boy who is regularly abused by his older sister is a "pussy who doesn't have the balls to step up and defend himself". They become hated merely for enduring the abuse.
At the same time, a man who hits a woman - and whether or not it is done in self-defense will be downplayed heavily - is an "abuser," "scum," "woman-hater," and such. And they become hated anyway.
To hell with that. If someone commits violence against you, they don't deserve preferential treatment for their gender - they deserve to lose a few teeth!
If you're going to end up with people thinking badly of you anyway, you may as well seek some satisfaction.
Being passive only encourages bullies. Fighting back works, and violence is by and large the most efficient method of getting your message across to them.
You make a good point. The whole "men who hit women should die" is a bunch of bullshit.
Of course, I don't condone random violence. But if the act is justified, then I don't see what's the harm. Woman are certainly not stigmatized by doing so.
edit: Here I meant just light violence. Something that wouldn't even classify as abuse.
Though, I cannot comprehend the mentality of these abusive partners who use violence as an outlet to release their mild frustrations.
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Brittany
Director of Production
If she thinks she can change him, then that's the problem.
Too many people go into relationships with the idea that they can change a specific behavior of the person, but in the end up in a ruined relationship because people aren't dogs where you can train them to behave a certain way.
You take a person for what they are or you don't, there's no changing.
I also have a friend who went through a similar type of problem, except heavier with the emotional abuse.
She hung out with me (and I'm female for anyone who doesn't know me) and I had to run some errands and stop by my ex's house to fix my computer, and get a doctors note for school for a day I missed. He left 5 messages on my phone each getting more and more pissed off that she wasn't home. We were gone for at most, 2 hours.
He had her on the phones crying in tears feeling bad because she wasn't there when he beckoned. She was required to give him a 24 hours notice if she were to plan anything, and she had to come straight home from school or work if she didn't have any plans. She wasn't to talk to any other guys, and she wasn't allowed to wear certain things except around him.
He was a dirt bag loser who dropped out of school, lived with his parents in a trailer park and needed a good punch in the face.
Why did she date him? Because she'd rather be in an abusive relationship then not in a relationship at all. She'd rather have somebody 'care' about her then be single and not have anybody in her life.
She eventually got out of that mess, but still continues to get into drama with guys, which I can't even keep up with.
There's plenty of personality disorders on why a girl feels like it's okay to be treated like that.
She feels like she deserves a guy like that, and cannot find somebody better.
She's afraid to leave, which is less of a personality disorder, and more feeling threatened by the guys presence.
She likes attention, whether it's positive or negative and enjoys something to complain about subconsciously.
Etc.
~*~
To the Op:
You won't be able to change her either. I've talked to my friend thousands of times and rationalized things with her, and she'll sit there and 100% agree with what I say, but continue doing what she does. You can only lead a horse to water, not make it drink.
She has to make the conscious decision to leave him.
Too many people go into relationships with the idea that they can change a specific behavior of the person, but in the end up in a ruined relationship because people aren't dogs where you can train them to behave a certain way.
You take a person for what they are or you don't, there's no changing.
I also have a friend who went through a similar type of problem, except heavier with the emotional abuse.
She hung out with me (and I'm female for anyone who doesn't know me) and I had to run some errands and stop by my ex's house to fix my computer, and get a doctors note for school for a day I missed. He left 5 messages on my phone each getting more and more pissed off that she wasn't home. We were gone for at most, 2 hours.
He had her on the phones crying in tears feeling bad because she wasn't there when he beckoned. She was required to give him a 24 hours notice if she were to plan anything, and she had to come straight home from school or work if she didn't have any plans. She wasn't to talk to any other guys, and she wasn't allowed to wear certain things except around him.
He was a dirt bag loser who dropped out of school, lived with his parents in a trailer park and needed a good punch in the face.
Why did she date him? Because she'd rather be in an abusive relationship then not in a relationship at all. She'd rather have somebody 'care' about her then be single and not have anybody in her life.
She eventually got out of that mess, but still continues to get into drama with guys, which I can't even keep up with.
There's plenty of personality disorders on why a girl feels like it's okay to be treated like that.
She feels like she deserves a guy like that, and cannot find somebody better.
She's afraid to leave, which is less of a personality disorder, and more feeling threatened by the guys presence.
She likes attention, whether it's positive or negative and enjoys something to complain about subconsciously.
Etc.
~*~
To the Op:
You won't be able to change her either. I've talked to my friend thousands of times and rationalized things with her, and she'll sit there and 100% agree with what I say, but continue doing what she does. You can only lead a horse to water, not make it drink.
She has to make the conscious decision to leave him.
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I've actually taken measures to go beat the shit outta a guy who was abusive to a lady-friend of mine. I've been on her case for months about the dude, but it's gotten to the point where it was just plain fucking stupid.
Guy scarpered, never heard of him again (surprised he didn't try to pin me in court- ah well). She hated my guts for one helluva long time after that, but we're okay now. Haven't been able to address the issue with her yet, but I definitely plan to.
Guy scarpered, never heard of him again (surprised he didn't try to pin me in court- ah well). She hated my guts for one helluva long time after that, but we're okay now. Haven't been able to address the issue with her yet, but I definitely plan to.
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huffcustom wrote...
I have a friend I have known a long time and she has such an abusive douche bag of a boyfriend. Long story short he beats her and she insist he loves her, so she stays with him. I'm a guy so she gets hurt more if we hang out. I just can't understand for the life of me why she would stay with a person like that.She's an 'enabler'. Look it up, although for the standard 'being beaten' situation it applies slightly different. The idea is that she enables him to do this to enable an 'end' or 'higher status'. Typically that term is applied to subsistence abuse, where you constantly enable someone to continue using the subsistence to end something (alcoholics get violent when they don't have alcohol, so when you give them alcohol they're even further violent = enabler). Here, she "loves" him, so she allows him to abuse her for further "love" = enabler.
Here's a really cold hard fact that I don't understand why it's so hard to get through people's fucking heads - physical and emotional abuse is not love. In fact, it's the anti-love. Not to pry into personal business because I really hate to do so but how old is this girl? Is she completely in a position where she cannot leave? My fiancee' has a very distant younger relative that is seventeen and stayed in a abusive relationship with some classmate, whom not only beat her but now she is pregnant. Of course now he's nowhere to be found. The thing is, if you're in the age area of going to school (up to around when you should be graduating college) then there is absolutely no reason you should remain in any sort of abusive relationship. You're not having to worry about finances and monetary spending, so it's not a money thing. Also I'm sorry but really until you're into your twenties most people do not have the correct life mental capacity anyway, so it can't be because of stress (believe me, if any of your are still in school now wait until you get out and work two jobs and pay a mortgage - and I don't mean apartment rent. You'll really understand stress then...). Basically there are a multitude of points when you shouldn't stay at all, but it really applies when you're young.
The only main reason I could see someone staying in a relationship is when you are in a position where it is difficult to sustain yourself if you were to leave. I'm twenty-six, and own a house and have a ridiculous amount of other finances to handle. I absolutely have to have the support of my fiancee' - I literally cannot live without her simply on the fact that nothing will get paid. If either of us were to get abusive towards one another, we really could fully leave one another. She actually probably could because family is nearby, however I cannot. We would give up a house, destroy our credit, and basically have to climb back up a hill that took six years to climb - not worth it.
Both me and my fiancee' come from abusive households. My fiancee's father abuses her mother frequently emotionally because he's an alcoholic. My father (when he was alive. He died in 1994 due to liver failure from alcohol) beat my mother daily.
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Girls fall hard for assholes. There's really nothing you can do to help her. She has to make up her mind herself.
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This guy has a conflict with his mind. If he really loves the girl then obviously he should not beat her up. Seriously, is he a sadist?
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How long has she been with this guy?
If you are in an abusive relationship it is more often or not a gradual change over time that leads up to it.
One day they will ask you to take off their shoes, then its "gimme a blow job", then its "put on my shoes" then its "if you don't behave you will be in trouble".
Slowly little by little these demands become the norm, when you get hit you start to believe you deserve it as you are constantly told that you do deserve it. You ate worthless and noone else will want you.
If its being hit in a rage then they will be sweet and caring after, empty promises of "I'll never do it again" and stupidly you will believe them. Or they will emotionally blackmail you try to make themselves look like the victim so you feel the need to look after them, or if not the need then at least the duty.
Men can, and are just as if not more manipulative than women if they put their minds to it.
(not all men of course, but I do know what I'm talking about here.)
All I can say is just be there for her, you can try and convince her to leave him but it will probably take something big to shake her out of it and get her to come to her senses.
If you are in an abusive relationship it is more often or not a gradual change over time that leads up to it.
One day they will ask you to take off their shoes, then its "gimme a blow job", then its "put on my shoes" then its "if you don't behave you will be in trouble".
Slowly little by little these demands become the norm, when you get hit you start to believe you deserve it as you are constantly told that you do deserve it. You ate worthless and noone else will want you.
If its being hit in a rage then they will be sweet and caring after, empty promises of "I'll never do it again" and stupidly you will believe them. Or they will emotionally blackmail you try to make themselves look like the victim so you feel the need to look after them, or if not the need then at least the duty.
Men can, and are just as if not more manipulative than women if they put their minds to it.
(not all men of course, but I do know what I'm talking about here.)
All I can say is just be there for her, you can try and convince her to leave him but it will probably take something big to shake her out of it and get her to come to her senses.
