Why would a girl stay with an abusive guy?
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Takerial
Lovable Teddy Bear
Often Abusive guys are manipulators.
What they do is they will show girls a nice act of themselves. Usually make them feel all secured and the like.
They will often bring in some sob story or the like to make the girl feel like there is a connection.
And then they will use the girl. It's kind of like a game to them.
So often the girls will fall into a trap thinking "I know he's different. He needs help." And will often forget the fact that they need help themselves.
What they do is they will show girls a nice act of themselves. Usually make them feel all secured and the like.
They will often bring in some sob story or the like to make the girl feel like there is a connection.
And then they will use the girl. It's kind of like a game to them.
So often the girls will fall into a trap thinking "I know he's different. He needs help." And will often forget the fact that they need help themselves.
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I would have gotten violent and beat up your friend's guy
seriously. teach him a lesson bout respect and beat him to a pulp.
HOW to beat him to a pulp is another thing. I'll tell you how if someone replies
P.S. I really hate abusive guys who beat their own girlfriends
missing the point here. I think she's staying with him cuz she still loves him to some degree that even all of that hurt she keeps being with him
seriously. teach him a lesson bout respect and beat him to a pulp.
HOW to beat him to a pulp is another thing. I'll tell you how if someone replies
P.S. I really hate abusive guys who beat their own girlfriends
missing the point here. I think she's staying with him cuz she still loves him to some degree that even all of that hurt she keeps being with him
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This is my second time seeing a thread like this! D: Hnnn...I forgot what I said in the other oh right...I got mad. Then I said follow what these good people would say. Then the end result was the girl stayed with her parents for 2 weeks after breaking up. =/ But your situation...I remember most of them gave links to help abuse centers and said alot of emotional stuff. Cant remember~=x
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she might have devolped stockholm syndrome
its when a hostage or in this case a girlfriend
falls in love, or devoted to, there captor
more info can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome
its when a hostage or in this case a girlfriend
falls in love, or devoted to, there captor
more info can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome
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One thing is certain - this is a real, and disturbing problem with complex psychological roots. The one thing that isn't a factor is being a masochist. Many women fall into the "he's really a good person at heart and I can change him" category. This type of situation is often made worse by the fact (mentioned earlier) that many of these guys are very good manipulators. They often convince the woman it is actually her fault. Many have deep seated issues with self-image. Many come from abusive or neglectful backgrounds, this literally being the first time anyone has shown any interest in them. Abusive, controlling guys often seek out women who have no self-esteem, and rapidly this idiot becomes the focal point of there entire existence.
Many people also tend to believe what they want to be true - instead of the facts placed in front of them. "It shouldn't be like that" is a phrase often heard. People will refuse to believe that life is often hard and populated with some terrible people. Instead of admitting they were taken in and taken advantage of they prefer to try and convince themselves that this person can be 'saved" or that they can "change him", or worse yet, that "he really wants to be good". In my experience people who behave like jackasses do so because they want to, and often enjoy it.
Many people also tend to believe what they want to be true - instead of the facts placed in front of them. "It shouldn't be like that" is a phrase often heard. People will refuse to believe that life is often hard and populated with some terrible people. Instead of admitting they were taken in and taken advantage of they prefer to try and convince themselves that this person can be 'saved" or that they can "change him", or worse yet, that "he really wants to be good". In my experience people who behave like jackasses do so because they want to, and often enjoy it.
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Simple: She can’t leave because she has no money or prospects, he tells her that he will kill himself, her, or her loved ones if she leaves, they have kids, he tells her that she is worthless and deserves nothing better, and people get used to things/don’t like change. On the bright side things are getting better, most marriages used to all be abusive till women got stronger.
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I've known a few girls who have been in abusive relationships. Some of them stay because they're scared of change, they don't want to leave that person because they don't want to be alone. Another reason I've heard is out of fear, sometimes they're scared to go to the police and scared to tell their friends. Each girl has said that at one point their abuser has said that if they leave him, he will kill them.
So I believe it is out of loneliness and/or fear.
So I believe it is out of loneliness and/or fear.
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*sigh* These sorts of relationships are always complicated. We have the girls that only go for the "Badboys" because they seem interesting or exciting, sometimes it's a matter of him creating a state of mind where she thinks she needs him, other times it's because the male has some issues that he finds fit to take out on his lover.
The best thing to do is to grab her and take her to some professional help ASAP, take her to a battered women shelter, or the police or someone that deals with this sort of thing
The best thing to do is to grab her and take her to some professional help ASAP, take her to a battered women shelter, or the police or someone that deals with this sort of thing
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I just want to note one thing... The incompetent responces on just the first page alone, clearly trolls invading SD, is of an incredible amount. I could have been derepping for a week on that page alone so I have no bothered with any other comments. Instead, I +repped someone who contributed in a positive mindset.
On topic. There's nothing you can do but talk to her, pain is a powerfull stimuli - if as much as grabbing her *Hurt body part* will hurt her, do so and point it out to her, that the human body isn't meant to be like this and that it is pure and utter abuse.
The best next thing is getting another good and happy couple to talk to her, thogether.
If that does not work... Good luck. I just don't know what more you can do. (Within the law)
On topic. There's nothing you can do but talk to her, pain is a powerfull stimuli - if as much as grabbing her *Hurt body part* will hurt her, do so and point it out to her, that the human body isn't meant to be like this and that it is pure and utter abuse.
The best next thing is getting another good and happy couple to talk to her, thogether.
If that does not work... Good luck. I just don't know what more you can do. (Within the law)
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I just read a book on this written by Nicholas Spark... its more of a "He says he is sorry and is willing to change and I want to change him."
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man, i heard of stories like this one. Usually, it is impossible for the relationship to end unless the girl/woman realizes what a sham the relationship is.
I like how Mr.Shaggnificent solved that problem by pulling out the root of the problem, the abusive guy. That's some tough love there, respect.
I like how Mr.Shaggnificent solved that problem by pulling out the root of the problem, the abusive guy. That's some tough love there, respect.
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Because of the way our brain function you heard about a term called Escalation of Commitment it applies here as well because she love hims that she though it will be fine and continue in hoping that the guy will change.
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Mod Note: After some consideration, I have decided to move this thread from Serious Discussions to the Love, Romance and Relationship section.
Sorry for the inconvenience caused.
Getting back on topic, there are many reasons in which a girl would stay with an abusive guy. Using the example of domestic violence, some wives still stay with their abusive husbands because they have no one else to turn to, especially if they hail from a foreign land. Others may be clinging on to hopes that their husbands will reform and treat them better.
Sorry for the inconvenience caused.
Getting back on topic, there are many reasons in which a girl would stay with an abusive guy. Using the example of domestic violence, some wives still stay with their abusive husbands because they have no one else to turn to, especially if they hail from a foreign land. Others may be clinging on to hopes that their husbands will reform and treat them better.
