Gravity cat Posts

I don't think it is. Seeing shit that's normally in your body just laying there on the floor isn't something you see everyday.

Unless you're sexually aroused by it
Now I have the image in my head of a guy with a boner sticking his dick in a lump of fatty human flesh and fucking it.

As fucked as the world is for many different reasons, can always count on people sticking together in times of hardship.

That and splendid views from tall buildings.

And garlic bread.

In general?

My baby has taken residence on my bedside cabinet. He's just teething.

No this is a new one

Bought a bottle of Jim Beam but the cap isn't seperated from the neck properly so I can't open it.

When I can be arsed I guess I'll have to score them apart with scissors or something.

16th September
Been trying to whack off all morning. Shit internet coupled with my room suddenly feeling like a public footpath for people to come in and ask me stupid questions I've been unable to do so properly for an hour now.

19th September
Slept for 12 hours.
Not complaining about the amount of time I slept, I just feel like death sleeping for so long.

24th September
It's payday weekend and I'm basically running the store on my own all weekend so I've been pretty stressed. Shop didn't calm down until 7:10pm (bare in mind we close at 8). Basically lost the will to live after tidying up and having everything I tidied messed up again. People are so fucking messy. Put things back you cunts.
But on the plus side cashing up was really easy, it really was all just 5s, 10s, and 20s with very small bits of change so I got out a bit earlier than normal.

And I found out a coworker got proper shitty with a customer over inaccurate change and ended up having a complaint filed against her, so I'll have to keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn't flip out again. Another thing to add to the list of things to do tomorrow. T'riffic.

27th September
We've had consistently slow internet speeds since we switched internet providers, but for the past 3 days our Internet connection has gotten even worse; it's taken 20 minutes for me to navigate to this thread to post about it, it's taken me 3 hours to get half way through this week's episode of Dragon Ball Super, update files for games take hours to download whether it be on Steam or PS4, anything that isn't Google or YouTube takes minutes to load if it loads at all, otherwise simply closes the connection. Facebook always refuses to load properly and YouTube videos always default to 144p; even then I have to wait for the video to buffer, and I can't check my Yahoo e-mail because again, it simply closes the connection when it takes too long.
As far as I can tell, we're on Fiber broadband and they advertise Fiber broadband as being 4.5x faster than standard broadband, but we have never breached 1mbps.

I've gotten onto our provider twice now about it, and they finally came to the conclusion that there's an issue with our router so they're going to send us another. Hopefully that is the issue. I've read multiple instances of people being sent faulty routers by this lot. Sounds like they're not fucking testing them properly.

1st October
Customer getting shitty because the 20% discount we're taking this weekend didn't apply to a Game of Thrones boxset. Her son was like "Just drop it" and paid for it since he was the one that wanted it, but she refused. We explained that we, the staff, also don't get discounts on them and we work there. But nope, got the usual line "You should be honouring it" and "you're advertising that you're doing discounts". We are doing discounts and we are putting them through, but it only applies it to items that are able to be discounted. Her privelage card sheet does say "exclusions apply", and for us said exclusions only apply to sweets and higher-value items like that boxset. Unsatisfied, she asked for Head Office's number but we gave her Customer Service's.

I always forget that discounts don't always apply to certain items so I should keep an eye on that next time we do a discount event and someone gets shitty about it. We don't even have to do them.

People look fucking creepy with black teeth. Maybe they saw sense and banned it.

But the westernisation of Japan through trade might have something to do with it, yeah.

No but I've just taken painkillers
Im3cool5u

Edit: Just bought another bottle of Jim Beam. Might have some later

You need more sleep.
Could also be a sign of dehydration or depression.

Not a fan personally.

Ethnicity: Caucasian
Heritage: German (Mum's side) / Scottish (Dad's side)
Nationality: British
Direct Family populace: 3. Mum, Dad and half brother who doesn't live with us.
Immediate family populace: I assume this means devil spawns. Don't have any or have plans to have any.
Grandparents: On my mum's side; 1 dead, 1 still alive.
Dad's side I have no idea since we don't talk to them on account of a financial dispute my dad has with his brother - my uncle. Funnily enough he's called Bob, so Bob literally is my uncle.

Other: 3 uncles, 3 aunts, 2 cousins that I'm aware of and on my dad's side a cousin that got in contact with me through Facebook, though she later deactivated her account. She has a kid so also a first cousin. Another woman from my dad's side added me on Facebook before that, forgot what relation she is though. But I trawled her friends list and she has 6 people with my surname, and each of their names are consistent in each other's friends lists. So 6 other potential family members. The younger ones I'm gonna assume are cousins.

I also often get asked whether I'm related to someone called Sam who has the same surname as I do. I don't actually know if I am.

My usual casual clothes consist of:

• T-shirts I buy from Qwertee. I buy XXXLs which are 2 sizes too big because I like being comfortable.

Some of my favourites:

I also have this but I can't find it at the moment:

• Cheapish jeans of varying sizes (recently found out I can fit into a 40 inch waist, shocking to me since I've been wearing 46) with a belt whether or not the jeans hang loose; doesn't feel right without one.

• A grey hoody which I wear depending on the weather. I always roll up the sleeves unless I'm cold, which doesn't happen often.

• Again depending on the weather, this hat
  
  Spoiler:

  

• And I have two pairs of trainers. Though I've been exclusively using one pair for the past year or so.

Edit:
Found a couple more of my favourite tees:

Bit bright because it's daytime nao.

I should stop before I end up posting all of the goddamn things.

Video responses for small-time competitions are so 2008.

If reality, underage inbreeding makes jeebus cry
If in the land of 2D, me gusta.

Eels were cheap and plentiful back in the day of London being shitter than it was. My guess is they're still popular in London because it's so fucking expensive to live there. Never had jellied eels before and it sounds disgusting but I may give it a try eventually.




A county smack bang in the middle of the country. Makes more sense for the capital (and by extension, the government) to be in the middle somewhere than in the arse-end of Britfaggia. But that's just me.

He still hasn't fixed my waterdamaged iphone :^)

Garpy Turdday dude

I sobered up like 3 hours after I made this thread buttfuck it I'll keep rolling with it.



On a scale of drunkenness, I'd say between drunk and waking-up-in-odd-places-shitfaced. But at the same time you also do things you regret, like collapsing in the middle of a street crying for no reason or being in a room full of people trying to sleep and not shutting up to the point everyone moves to a different room. I don't remember that last one but apparently it happened



Surprisingly I've made more spelling mistakes having just woken up. Slept off most of my headache, need to do something about the last of it.



Those maymays are funny, I love them

Voted in

Here you go matey

I ate a whole bag of pistachios over the course of the day.

Half a bottle of Jim Beam honey whiskey. Quite nice stuff.
I'm also a bit of a lightweight

Fun fact: We hate the french so much we no longer get cheese from there, instead pub drunks are the sole source of the country's cheese. Everyone who owns a pub or frequents a pub is in on it and sell it to big cheese companies to make extra money on the side. When processing it they lace it with drugs which is why some consider cheese addictive.