ASK A GIRL

Those things are definitely good ideas, and will show her that you're interested in spending more of your free time with her. However, I'd like to recommend a step before you go to either of those. To make you more comfortable, and since you both take Japanese, why not offer to study together at the school campus? It's in a place you're both familiar with, with a subject you're both familiar with, so things won't be awkward. That way, the both of you will feel more comfortable when you start spending time outside of the school together.

almost similar to my problem ;P (if its not exactly similar) you can read tsuni's reply to mine =p (also, im 1cm taller than you! HAH! xD rofl)

Low confidence is a common problem, for both men and women. You need to be determined and resolved to make an effort to approach and keep a conversation with girls, and hold to your own standards. Basically, you just need to bite the bullet and take a chance. Nothing risked, nothing gained, right? And if a girl brushes you off without giving you a chance, then it really just shows how shallow the girl really was.

The best way to appeal to a girl is really just to be honest, and to be yourself. Girls appreciate boys with a sense of humor, so if you get tongue-tied, just laugh it off or make a joke. Women respond well to boys who show a genuine interest in them, so make sure you stay focused and keep your attention on her! Eye contact is a MUST.

To be able to START a conversation with a girl, I'd suggest looking at the two methods I described earlier.


The best way to be comfortable with a girl is for you to realize that she could be just as easy to talk to as anyone else you know. Give her the chance to listen to you, and she may return it. You may find out that she's very talkative, or she may be quiet and enjoy listening to you talk. I think with your physical appearance as a plus, it shouldn't be too hard initially to get a woman's attention, as well. She'll want to know that you're as good on the inside as you look on the outside.

When I first read this I read, "ask her if she'd like to get eaten out by you." And I thought that was a strange thing to say.

Anyway, I did mean it as a joke, which I thought was pretty clear, but it doesn't matter. I don't show emotion when I talk to people face-to-face, I can't imagine I'd communicate any in text.
It certainly didn't deserve all this...conflict.
And I didn't even expect anyone to agree with me, or make anything further out of it.
But that's cool.

Oh, and I don't trust Gaia. But we don't need to go into that.
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I think that our generation is split between people who seem themselves as absolutely the greatest person they know, and people who always feel down on themselves, and have that idea reinforced by the jackasses who think they are the shit. I mean, a good self-image is a good thing, but being a tool is definitely not. So basically, don't let a world full of tools get you down. Think more about the aspects of you that are awesome and be confidant in them. Don't think about something you don't like about yourself, and think that girls, or people in general, wont like you because of it.
Just think of yourself as being a damned great dude, and don't be afraid of rejection, I guess. It's your own head you need to get over if you lack confidence.

It is always hard to approach someone you're attracted to. She wants to see your fearless attitude as much as you really want to be fearless. If you're uncomfortable, she's going to notice, and she's going to get uncomfortable, too. If you mess up or get tongue-tied, show her that you're not afraid to laugh it off and try again. She'll see that you were just so smitten by her that you HAD to talk to her, and she'll feel flattered.

Having a conversation with a girl is just like having a conversation with anyone else. The best way to go about it is to carry yourself like you would at a job interview. Look good, feel good, and she'll see just how good you'd be with her. She's going to be making long-term investments, if you're lucky.

Tsuni-dono I need help. My friend is having trouble with his relationship. My friend's ,gf's , father doesn't want her to go out with my friend because their religion states that only the people in their religion can you date. My friend and her tried to break up but can't and now her sister is now watching her every move. Sure makeing out in secret helps but I want them to have a relationship where they dont need to hide. Do you have any advice Tsuni-dono?

I've heard of this type of problem before, and I realize the difficulty in challenging someone's religion with a relationship.

First, the single and most important thing is for the boyfriend and girlfriend to talk it out. Talk about their options: converting, or going against the religion's tradition. While the traditions aren't absolute, they should be at least initially respected. If the boyfriend shows the girlfriend's family that he wants to become more accepting of her religion by giving a shot to converting, they may accept him as their daughter's boyfriend more easily. If the boyfriend doesn't consider converting as an option, then the two of them do need to sit down with the parents, and have a talk about it. Have the boy let the parents know that he does have respect for their religion, but he loves their daughter so much that he wishes to make an exception to the rule. Both the boy and the girl should be present while doing this. It will be difficult, but talking it all out will make things easier on all of them.

It sounds like they're both minors, which is why the sister would be keeping an eye on them, which is why I could see the parents have some doubt in allowing the relationship. They shouldn't go behind anyone's back, or it'd make the parents question the boy even more. He wants to come off as serious, professional, and gentlemanly as possible, and an impression is critical.

Religion tends to be one of the most intricate messes that relationships face, especially if it has strict rules, like it sounds this one does. By showing that he can handle the restrictions like an adult and make a justified claim as to why he feels he can't pertain to the rules, the parents just might see him as a very worthy individual for their daughter to see.

I don't agree with that. I'd rather have a guy be real with me and be himself then him put up a front like you do at a job interview. You bullshit your way through a job interview, and if a guy is too polite or just randomly compliments (not like they do) me I'd think something was up, which in turn would just get me suspicious. I'd rather have a guy talk to me as a person and not have it be about myself.

Like when guys go up to you and says 'my friend thinks your cute' and his other friends are laughing in the background. I don't feel like he's telling the truth and I just get irritated because I feel like he means exactly the opposite of what he just said. Don't do that btw.

But girls aren't impossible creatures. They're not that hard, just make them laugh and feel comfortable. You don't need to put up any front.

Sadly, thats the hard part xD all girls are different from one another, and the first impression matters too much. And without getting to know them, you wont know what makes them laugh or feel comfortable. =/ in the end, its like rushing head-first into a wide-open battlefield hoping no stray bullets hit you 'til you reach the other side.

Unless you are trying to pick up chicks at a bar, you should always have some idea of what she likes. How did you meet her? If shes in one of your classes, maybe try to get a study group going.

I think a common mistake a lot of people make is they don't look for the things they have in common. No matter how nice she is, and how nice she thinks you are, unless you want a relationship based on sex (probably wont last very long), then you need something in common. If you don't have anything you both like to do, then spending time together will be awkward and you will have nothing to talk about. Lots of guys on here ask for help talking to girls, but you have to look at girls just like you would a guy when starting conversations. You aren't going to get along with every guy you meet - so you shouldn't feel like a failure just because you couldn't hold a conversation with one girl. I can't hold a conversation for shit with lots of people, but some people I can talk to for hours. I think it all has less to do with a difference of the sexes and more to do with different personalities and interests than most of you think.

hmm, that rings true. Thanks alot for the words of wisdom =p i have to admit i cant believe i cant foresee such a simple mistake as that xD guess ill have to be EXTREMELY patient to get the right one for me xD

Ask questions about her and shit. Not to like... a creepy degree, but people love to have their egos stroked. So when you have nothing to say, just ask about the things they are interested in.
Or stroke your own ego by talking about how amazing you are, and just melt her panties off with your will of awesomeness.

That's what I do when I start a new job. Girls can be territorial with each other, but if you ask them about themselves they'll open right up. When there's nothing to talk about ask them about themselves.
If they're in school, what kind of hobbies do they have, if they have a boyfriend (though that's a less personal question when a girl asks a girl that), etc.

Then usually after they get a lot out they turn around and ask you.

Here's my question to all: is just me, or us guys don't have our work cut out anymore? I mean, I get the feeling that men are at women's grace when it comes to dating/going out. We have to put in the extra effort to get the attention of the girl we like. I dunno, so if someone could corroborate or refute this statement, that would help satisfy this conjecture of mine.

i have a question, i always ask girls this "can i fuck you?" whats your answer?

Yea, I'd have to agree with you on that one. However, if a girl is really fond of a guy - she has to do the same thing in order to get his attention, but it's sometimes not as hard.

I'm too shy to approach guys, my last relationship it was my one friend approaching me. The one I'm getting into now I was approached as well.

Depending on your taste in girls, I think the difficulty level rises. Kinda like playing a game. If you're more into homey girls, average lookers and generally nice girls - the difficulty isn't that high, just become friends with them, be nice, ask them out and they'd totally be into you.

If you like girls who are a bit into themselves and conceited, more on the higher end on the attraction scale - she can be picky and reject a guy at whim, because she knows another one will be coming around soon anyway.

It's like the animal kingdom, the guy shows off his masculinity, and the girl gets to decide if he's an appropriate mate for her.

It was more of a gut feeling than something based off of statistics, but at least I know that I'm mostly correct. Thanks for responding Ziggy, and I'll definitely keept that in mind when I find a girl I'll wanna be with.

I was thinking about sexual dimorphism, since you brought up the animal kindgom, but at least the female doesn't eat the suitor... but rather his ego has been eaten and spit out if rejected, hehe.

I have a question but before that I have a story to tell first:

I was raised in a house of 3 man (Father, big bro, and me) and 3 woman (Mother and 2 big sis). Since my brother is 10 years older so he already at college when I'm at elementary school and my father works until late at night so I always left with only woman at home for consecutively 20 years until 4 years ago...
My mom always yells at me, one of my sister always hits me when she's stressed, and the other one always ignores me... and that build up something inside me that makes me hates a real life girls (for those consecutive 20 years I've never had a female friends because of that). And after that I started to live on an apartment alone and trying to overcome my oldself (its been 4 years and I barely made one)... and I spend most of my time (Other than job etc) playing or watching anime. (This is the only time I can feel calm and happy thou)

Now the question is... do you have an advice on how to overcome those "Fear/Feeling/Trauma" or whatever it's called?

Keep in mind that they were your siblings and mother. If I compared guys to what my brother did to me when I was younger I'd might as well become a nun.

He was 5 years older then me and would pick me up by my underwear and crap.

If you're friends with a girl, or seeing a girl, they'll be all sweet and nice to you. Siblings usually don't get along, and if your mom wasn't nice to you, then that's your mom.

It's like comparing apples and oranges.